10th Month TTC..anyone else in a similar boat?

[IslaO]

Hi everyone,

I am trying hard not to catatrophise here but 10th month of actively TTC and nothing. I have been tracking ovulation and doing all I can but I’ve had no luck. Friend after friend announcing pregnancies and I’m getting increasingly panicked and down about it all. Is 10 months normal? Or is it likely to point in the direction of a problem?

thanks everyone x

I'm on my 11th month, sorry you're going through this too! I conceived my daughter on the 9th month so I always expected it would take a while, but now it's taking longer than it took the first time I'm getting worried. There are plenty of stories of people conceiving in just under a year (my mum took 11 months to get pregnant with me for example) and I'm always on the lookout to hear some more! I'm mentally preparing myself to go to my GP in two months asking for fertility investigations though. I hope this is our lucky month! Where are you in your cycle? x

@tingalayo thanks for getting back to me! It’s so helpful to hear stories of people in the same boat. Makes me feel like I’m not the only one!! I’m only 2dpo now and to be honest, just don’t have much hope for this cycle at all. Getting so used to symptom spotting and then af arriving like a slap in the face! Where are you in your cycle? X

Oh the symptom spotting is devastating. My usual one is getting spotting two days before AF, grieving not being pregnant, then changing my mind and spending two days googling implantation bleeding and getting all hopeful then grieving again 😣I don't have much hope for this cycle either, just starting my fertile window now but we're preparing to move house and AF is due on our moving date! Ridiculous timing!

I have been TTC for 10 months to and nothing. I got my implant taken out September 21 and the nurse did tell me it is pot luck some people are super fertile straight away and some take a while to get their cycle back to normal etc. No real advice just to let you know you’re not alone ..

I'm on month 11 but had an early miscarriage two months ago so I guess I'm back to square one in terms of waiting for investigations which is really frustrating me. My GP seems totally nonplussed.

I am on month 15 I'm 36. I had a mmc in March so thought it would happen pretty soon. This past 5 weeks I've been seeing a Chinese fertility accuapture therapist. It took a few weeks to settle in and to get my blood flow right but my period came a week early then the following week I ovulated he brought the period on by placing needles in certain places.
Im on 4dpo. He says my body is ready so hoping for a bfp in the next few months. I have other kids so it's harder to dtd when they are off in the summer. It's mentally draining but have invested so much time and money into this now. Hope we all get a bfp soon.

Hi @IslaO - if it's your first baby, I'd consider getting some tests done sooner rather than later, if only for peace of mind. That's for both you and your partner. X

@Xtina1986 great to hear your acupuncturist thinks you are ready. I have been going to one too- to be honest, I’m not sure how great she is but I value the hour a week of down time to just relax so I figure it might not be directly helping, but it can’t do any harm. Really rooting for you and hoping this is your month.

@ZoeQ90 im so sorry to hear about your miscarriage. However, one way of looking at it is at least you know you can get pregnant. I know that’s no real consolation though. Completely get you with the GP being quite dismissive.

@FlyOnTheWall89 Thank you for your advice. My gut tells me you are right but it’s hard to know where to start and my DP is adamant that it’s too soon to test. It’s a tricky one to navigate.

@tingalayo you sound so like me, it’s scary!! Every single month I hold out hope that the start of my period is implantation bleeding. I google to within an inch of my life, image search etc. never thought I’d be like this!! We moved house a few months ago and I forget how big something like that is when TTC. Hopefully you can fit in some time this week to give it a shot during your fertile period. I generally keep positive these days but unexpected pregnancy announcements from friends really set me back and I just hate that I’m that person. I find myself watching others like a hawk on evenings out- are they drinking? Could they be pregnant? I sometimes feel I’m going a bit mad! Funny how I spent 15 years of my life desperately thinking unprotected sex once would leave me pregnant and my life would be ruined 😂

@IslaO I was in exactly that position. We fought over it and we never fight. I ended up getting all my tests done first from around month 8/9 and they came back normal. Then around the 10 month my OH finally gave in after many tears and got a SA. This is all done by your GP at this point btw and it came back 0% morphology and low total sperm count. We had clearly identified the problem. With those results we were referred to the fertility clinic and IVF with ICSI was suggested. In the meantime, I got my OH taking loads of supplements and be saw a urologist privately.

Long story short, I'm now pregnant, just before starting IVF after 15 months of trying and 5 months of him tightening up lifestyle and taking the supplements. Other people I'm on another group with have got to a year and found their partner has no sperm at all and all that time, they've had no chance.

Our urologist said the threshold for getting a semen analysis should be much lower - like after 6 months, get one because it's a pretty straightforward, cheap test that tells you quite a lot and there are lots of ways to improve sperm but it take 2-3 months to see results.

There is obviously a chance everything will be okay so don't be scared by my story but it is wildly common for there to a) be an issue and b) for the man to be pretty resistant about testing. If you're having plenty of sex and you are both healthy, you have like over 90% of being pregnant within a year. X

Thankyou isla. Yes I love the hour I have with mine each week is more intense but I'm think to myself ill Try anything. I'm the same as you I've seen so many pregancy announcements and friends having there babies and It makes me feel sad and also happy for them but want it for me aswell. My friend had been trying a year she made a private appointment to get tests done just before she was meant to go she decided to take a test and was postive. Baby is now a few months old.

I was in a similar situation, DD took 10 months - then our second took 11 months sadly ending in MMC. Been trying again since FEB but no luck yet. It is very deflating isn't it, seeing negative tests triggers me I swear so I don't test anymore and just wait for my period.

My only positive thoughts are that you've a good chance as any every month, and every month you don't conceive pulls you closer to the month that you will. Taking a year is normal, as much as I hate that saying, and I'm very jealous of those that conceive quickly - unfortunately I don't seem to be one of them either.

@FlyOnTheWall89 do you mind sharing any supplement tips?

Also the GP did give me a blood test to check ovulation on month 11 last time - which was the month I conceived funnily enough! SA for DH would have been after that but beyond that as we have a child there wouldn't have been any treatment.

@Teacaketotty

2 x Proxeed sachets
Ubiquinol 100mg
Pycnogenol 100 mg
Zita West vital DHA preconception supplement (basically omega 3 but check ingredients)
Vitamin D

No guarantees but morphology shot up after 2.5 months to 9%. We don't have a recent SA so we don't know if the count improved and that meant we conceived or if it just took a bit longer because of a borderline total sperm count.

We started trying last September so round about the 10 month mark for us. Have had two chemicals during that time.

My DS took 13 cycles to conceive so I know I should be patient but it’s bloody hard.

Have got the ball rolling this time around with my GP, had bloods done this cycle and all fine there. We will go for more tests in September / October if still no sticky BFP.

@FlyOnTheWall89 what a journey! Do you know what? I just have a feeling we are in the same position and I know the SA will be so important. How did your partner react when his analysis came back problematic? I predict it will be a huge ego blow to mine and worry it will cause problems in the bedroom. Almost like he will compare himself to friends who conceive easily and feel less of a ‘man’. His brothers both took 2 years and 17 months to conceive their first so I’m thinking- maybe his side of the family just have slow swimmers?! A great medically analysis, I know 😂

So am I reading it right that you actually conceived naturally although you had all your ducks in a row, ready for IVF? That’s crazy but so amazing! Congratulations!

@Charl881 And @Teacaketotty i completely understand how you’re feeling- patience is hard!! At least you have conceived before so you know it’s patience rather than a problem though. For me, I could take patience but it’s the niggly feeling that it’s something bigger that haunts me. Like I’m at the stage where I can’t even engage in a conversation about ‘when we have children’ because I’ve spiralled to believe that won’t happen for us.

@Xtina1986 keep us posted on how your acupuncture goes. My lady actually said it’s great for men too. I’m getting a mix of 50:50 acupuncture and reflexology which is great but I definitely don’t feel like it’s getting more intense each week as you say- I have a feeling she’s a bit of a cowboy 😂 I need to get the mindset of ‘each month you have as good a chance as any’ because now I feel like I’ve emotionally shut down due to past disappointments and I’ve gone the other way, thinking ‘nope, no hope this month either’.

@FlyOnTheWall89 Thank you will take a look at these!

@IslaO of course that is totally understandable to feel that way, having that back of the mind feeling it won’t happen is just awful. Hopefully it gives a little comfort that for me at least TTC for around a year is normal and I’m sure it will happen for you - keep the faith. I’ll keep everything crossed for you x

Thankyou isla just back from.a session he is chinese and been studying for years I just hope this all works. he didn't say much today but defo felt every needle being put in today. I hear reflexology Is great I would be doing that too only the accupature is quite costly for a weekly session.

@IslaO ummm it definitely took a bit of time for him to get his head around it. He felt guilty I think because it was 'him' but ultimately we are a team and he was pretty much okay.... he isn't a matcho matcho type though. Yes we conceived naturally before any drugs / cycle monitoring / IVF. This first 12 weeks is a lot more nerve wracking than I thought it would be. Getting pregnant is the first anxiety, staying pregnant becomes the next.

@IslaO not necessarily, I can’t stop thinking maybe our DS was a one off miracle! Or torturing myself reading stories of secondary infertility. Definitely no guarantee you’ll conceive a second time because you’ve conceived once, and I’m feeling a lot more obsessed/ pressured around it this time around

I feel deflated too, although I shouldn't as I am well within the time frame and a doctor would laugh at me right now as it hasn't been long enough but the worry and stress is still there. I am cycle day 9 of cycle 7 TTC #1.

My OH has two teenage children from a previous marriage and I've been pregnant before & we had a chemical pregnancy cycle 5.

We think having severe Covid and a very boozy year last year has affected fertility for us.

I've got a new obsession over conceiving in a heat wave right now because of what over heating does to sperm! Anyone that's conceived before got pregnant through scorching weather?

Im probably just being overly negative to save myself disappointment!

Totally get how you all feel with the stress of it.

I've started reading "it starts with the egg" and that's got a lot of info on supplements and lifestyle changes that have a huge impact so we just embarked on that journey now.

Really hoping for a BFP in the next 3-4 months or we will be paying for private tests.

I know we've have both been fertile in our lives but age is a factor and I am not 21 anymore and he's not 27!!

I'm 33 & he is 43 so just hoping it's not too late for us xx

I am in the same boat!! Feels like foreverrrrr! 8DPO and it also feels like I’m on day 88 😂
symptom spotting, even tested early which was daft!
baby dust to yal!

@Watsochick 6dpo here- zero symptoms and flitting between hopeful and despairing. You are brave testing early- I can’t bring myself to ever do it!!

@IslaO I shouldn’t have! Because I knew what it was going to say lol just a waste, never mind lol.
I don’t really have much symptoms either possibly cramp on and off but very very mild and I only really feel it when I’m thinking about it. I do feel a bit bloated but that could be because AF is due too.
who knows, will test next week when/if I’m late x

@Watsochick the awful thing about the symptoms is that early pregnancy and PMS symptoms are the exact same!! You’d think nature could cut us a fairer deal!!

so funny you should say that the symptoms only come when you think about it.. I’m sitting here and definitely creating some cramp-like feelings that only are there when I actively think about them! All the time, my OH sleeps peacefully beside me, not a care in the world! 😂

I know how rude !!! Not fair for us, I guess time will tell, I feel a bit different this month I ovulated very late in my cycle, so according to my app and previous cycles I’m late but going with positive ovulation test and ewcm I’m 8/9dpo.
So I’m basically doing a 2nd TWW which is definitely punishment 😂😂

OH just don’t have a Scoobie with the process, emotions, impatient vibes we all have!