TTC whilst breastfeeding. Tips, advice and support

[Porridgeaddiction]

Hi all,

There doesn't seem to be a thread for TTC whilst breastfeeding, so I thought that I'd start one. All welcome to jump aboard if that's your journey too, or offer tips and insights if you've managed to conceive whilst feeding a young one.

@Orangio how many days did it take you to night wean? I am planning embarking on such feat in next 2 weeks.

@Mc3209 three nights of patting/comforting, but each was less bad than the last! DH did it, not me, and I would recommend this, as I did go in briefly on night 3 and DS got really ragey! He settled back with DH as soon as I left.
We just offered pats, cuddles, water.
It was a tough three nights, but so so worth it. Everyone is getting loads of sleep now.

How old can you night wean? I thought I was ok just going with the flow but since getting that BFP in sept then it turning to bfn a few days later and I still haven’t had a bleed or period I feel quite hopeless that I can’t even try cause I don’t have my cycles back. The GP offered bloods to check hcg levels but I had to cancel cause I had covid so I need to rebook. But I don’t understand how I could have been pregnant and still now over a month later no bleed. Like where’s it gone. It was super early so I just accepted it and thought ok fine I can start trying but I can’t if I’m not ovulating 😭

Well there's no definitive answer. Physiologically babies don't need to eat at night after 4 months. But they need comfort etc. I did a bit of reading online, and most places seemed to say 12 months onwards, or 10 months if you absolutely have to. So we waited until 12 months.
I'm sure others will have had positive experiences of doing it earlier though. All babies are different.
You don't say how old your DC is, but maybe if you feel it's too early to fully night wean you could try cutting down number of feeds or duration?

He’s 7 months. That’s kinda my feeling it’s too early. I do think most of his night feeds are comfort and not general hunger but to be honest I’m also not sure I have the strength for the battle of not giving boob. His sleep has been so bad I’ve just got to the point I’m exhausted. But maybe I have to just suck it up and try and see if I can maybe do 1 or 2 feeds a night. On a good night he just has 1 or 2 so I know he can manage. Also I then have the guilt of not doing what’s best for the baby I already have for a potential baby that doesn’t even exist.

@justwantobeamum it sounds like you've had a tough time. Sorry to hear about the MC. Really hard to say what to do, as you'll know best what your baby needs, but based on my own DS 7m would have been a little early to night wean. He's 16m now, and still occasionally has milk at night. At 7m he wasn't really having much in the way of solids. I think he did need night feeds to make up some calories. Although probably not all of the feeds I was giving, he's a shit sleeper. How does your DS feed in the day? I think aiming for 1-2 feeds at night sounds like a good compromise 🙂

Sorry if you've said somewhere on the thread already, but do you mind me asking how long were you TTC your son?

yeah maybe I’ll have to give cutting down to 1 or 2 feeds at night and see what happens. I really don’t want to sleep train though I hate the thought of him crying. I also hate the thought of denying him boob and him not understanding why mummy is there but not giving him milk. I feel like at 1+ you can speak to them and there’s a bit more understanding. But at the same time I don’t know how I’ll cope if I don’t get periods until 14/15/16 months and can’t even try. Ugh I don’t know I wanted to start trying around Christmas thinking it would be like between Xmas and summer but now I feel like I had a small age gap dangled in front of me then snatched away. 3 cycles then a mc then 7 cycles with ds.

@justwantobeamum we have a nine month old and are thinking of night weaning in the next couple of weeks. He's currently feeding three to four times-ish in the night, will start to cut it down to once to twice and up feeds before bed. He doesn't need the calories, think it's just habit from when he's been teething and ill and I've been feeding on demand.

I don't know if this will help me. I've had my periods back now since baby was six months, but I think I'm sub fertile with the lining being shed before anything can even think about implanting. Apparently this is very common while breastfeeding 🙄 yay.

@Orangio as you've been temping, what do you roughly think your luteal phase is?

Hi everyone! Hope it’s ok that I join 😊 I’m so glad I found this thread, and congrats to those of you who’ve gotten your BFP!
Im BFing my 12 month old and my periods returned at 9 months. They’ve been regular since they returned, but longer than before pregnancy - 31 days, with ovulation around CD22. I only did OPK’s last month but based on that my LP is only 8/9 days.
We tried last month but BFN. So I’m currently CD10 of month 2 TTC. This month I’ve upped my vitamins and dropped day feeds in a bid to ovulate sooner so I’m feeding my baby in the morning, before bed, and then twice overnight. Currently temping and using OPK’s everyday cause I’m obsessed 🙃 looking forward to following along with everyone!

Welcome @Mugascauld . My baby is about the same age. also a OPK addict 😂.

My cycles are currently all over the place and I’m getting multiple weak LH surges 🤦🏼‍♀️. This month was supposed to be cycle 1 ttc but I have no idea if I ovulated or not, and if so, when.

good luck for your cycle 2!

I am just into my second cycle, CD3 today. Feeling a bit ugh, and DS took only 1 cycle to make. Will be doing OPKs this cycle again.

I am planning to potty train and night wean in the same week 🙈 I know it's a bit of a controversial approach, but I only have 1 week off work for this and rather get it all done in one go. Potty training should be ok (famous last words), but night weaning will be a 'mare. @Orangio unfortunately DH won't be able to help with it for various reasons, so it's all down to me. I am bracing for impact.

@A1b2c3d4e5f6g7 well I've only had one full cycle so far, and unfortunately DS was waking up a lot in the night the week I ovulated, so I can't tell which day it was. So my LP could be anything between 6 days and 13 days! Hopefully this month I'll have a clearer temp shift since I'm not getting up in the night anymore.
I hope night weaning goes well for you! It's so daunting isn't it.

@Mugascauld hello! My DS is also just 12 months. Cycle 2 TTC for us too, although I didn't expect to conceive last month as it was my first period so everything is obviously settling down still. I guess an LP of 8 or 9 days is technically enough to conceive isn't it? If the embryo implants quickly?

@Golaz @Orangio looks like we’re hoping for the same age gap between babies! This is my first month temping, and last month was my first month using OPK’s, so even though I’ve had 3 periods I’m just making an educated guess that my LP is 8/9 days! I got a pos OPK on CD21 last month so I assume I o’d on CD22/23 but honestly I wasn’t temping so maybe I didn’t even O! Hopefully this month things will be clearer.

Do you both ovulate late too, or do you ovulate on time just with a shorter LP? My cycles are longer than they used to be because it’s taking me longer to actually ovulate.

@Mc3209 it only took us one cycle last time too, so its kind of new to me having to track things with such detail.

Hello hello! 12"dpo" here, ironically I am hoping AF shows up soon, as then I'll be more convinced I ovulated/have a good luteal phase.

Come on AF 🩸🧐

Good luck @Mc3209 with the potty training and the weaning. What a week!! I can't remember if I fed DS at 1am last night or just at 4am, it all blurs together, doesn't it? CD3, you're gaining a few cycle days on me now haha, I think you were only 1dpo ahead of me.

It only took one cycle with DS here too... Surely baby 2 won't take more than 2 cycles, right? 😁

How are you feeling @justwantobeamum ? Was sorry to read you had a tough time TTC your first, perhaps baby number 2 will be less of a bumpy ride x

@justwantobeamum well, I mean once you get your period, sorry it does sound like a bit of a bumpy ride already.

We took about a year to conceive and I suspect we might need IVF ICSI for a second so getting the period back is just part of setting the big fertility ride in motion rather than holding out much hope something would actually happen : (

@Mugascauld I couldn't tell exactly when I ovulated tbh, because of getting up in the night. Hope this cycle will be better! I should ovulate in the next week, so I'll let you know 🙂 I am only BF two or three times a day now though, so I'm hoping I might be able to conceive. But DS took five cycles so it might be awhile anyway.

@Billyv fingers crossed for your period arriving soon. Feels strange to be wanting that while TTC! 😆

@AnonymousXXIX oh that's tough. I really hope it's not needed this time. TTC is hard enough anyway without extra worries added in so I really feel for you.

@Orangio hehe I know! Odd thing to be hoping for, except I'm taking it as a sign I did probably ovulate and that I have a decent LP. A little spotting and a headache today at 13dpo so I'm guessing it's on the way...

Good luck for this cycle. Do you think you'll be able to DTD lots again? I have a feeling my parents are staying during my fertile week this time 🤦🤦but I could hardly say no you can't come see your firstborn grandchild because I'll be trying to make you another.

Wait... On second thoughts, that would probably be the only reason acceptable to my Mum for denying her a visit!

@Billyv how is it going? You could still be pregnant if AF not here yet, just sayin'...

I know what you mean re timings for fertile week. DH is away for few days in that week, I am just hoping my LH would take note and do its thing on right schedule 😂 But yeah, scheduled sex, lovely 😬

Any sign of AF yet this morning @Billyv ? Don't worry about the parents staying, just conceive quietly! 🤣
Only managing every three days atm but still haven't ovulated so we need to step it up. DH has the cold and isn't as enthusiastic as usual! He's just going to have to man up (literally).

Hi @Orangio yep seems to be here, although quite light at the moment which isn't usual for me - but it's my first period since DS so maybe it's the new normal.

Hehe maybe I'll suggest they take DS out for a walk and DP and I can get down to it 🙂

Every 3 days isn't too bad, annoying your partner has a cold, hopefully you won't catch it. I can see why he's not as keen as usual, who wants to kiss with a blocked nose?

@Billyv who said anything about kissing 🤣🤣 @Orangio every 3 days is plenty. Hope your DH feels better soon.

Hi, can I join too please?
My dd is 14 months and still feeding through the night, those who managed to night wean did you cut down gradually or go cold turkey?
I still haven’t had a period, does anyone know if any supplements I can take to improve fertility or do some people just need to wean totally?

@Thumberline welcome! I thought I'd have to wean completely to get my periods back, but they returned at 2 years. I am eating a lot, taking vitamins, but I think it's the increasing gaps between feeds that has done the trick in bringing back cycles. I have at least 8 hour gap during the day on 5-6 days per week.

With night weaning I am planning to go cold turkey.

Hi thumberline, welcome! I did cold turkey for night weaning at 12 months. He was eating loads of food though. We offered him water in the night, which he did take a few times the first night. Also, he can self-settle. I wouldn't recommend the cold turkey method if you have no other way to get them to sleep (whether self-settling, rocking, dummy or whatever).
I think everyone is really different with when periods come back. Someone did dig out some interesting research upthread which concluded that fertility was more likely to be better the less total suckling time. I haven't phrased that well! I think it was near the beginning of the thread if you want to look at it.