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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Original poster

9 months TTC and losing hope

952 replies

BritInNZ · 01/10/2021 01:30

Hi everyone

Anyone else nearing that year mark of TTC and just feeling down and wondering when/if it will happen?

DH and I had a private fertility appointment this month and AMH and SA all good - no obvious reason why we can't conceive. We have to keep trying until January when we hit that year mark and then have more investigations.

I KNOW it can take healthy couples up to a year but it's only 3 cycles away now and I feel like I'm at the stage I don't even hope for a BFP as I know it's not coming.

I just turned 29 and DH is 31, so I know we have some time but it doesn't help when you're wondering what's going wrong.

Currently CD1 so obviously feeling a bit meh anyway, so just looking to chat to others in the same boat as I feel alone and like everyone else gets pregnant quickly ☹️ also visiting in-laws this weekend and when we booked it at the start of the year I was hoping it would be a trip to give them some good news, so that's a bit heartbreaking too.

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Original poster
BritInNZ · 18/10/2021 21:17

@Carla2601 it was our first month using it! I'd read so much about women getting pregnant using it so I thought it was worth a shot (Amazon reviews got me good 😂). You basically insert it before sex, but I used a minimal amount so it wasn't extreme slip and slide hahaha. We did say further down the chain, it's a bit awkward as you don't want to insert it in front of your partner as it's a mood killer, but equally you could put it in before and then not end up having sex, so it's all very odd 🤣 I'm a bit indifferent to it, didn't love it, didn't hate it, but it only had one job! So will see if it works... but won't hold my breath!

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Carla2601 · 18/10/2021 22:02

Ok I’m sold I’m ordering rn 😂. One lucky thing, my OH will literally NEVER say no or not now so I’ll just pop it in and say the word 😂😂😂. Thanks for the tip off. TMI but I have been wondering if not enough CM has been an issue so maybe this’ll help?! At this stage I’ll give anything a whirl

Carla2601 · 18/10/2021 22:10

Omg the reviews are totally amazing! May bath in it next week. 😂 Will also report back.

Original poster
BritInNZ · 18/10/2021 22:14

@Carla2601 hahaha see - reviews are so good 😂😂 yes I wondered that too! I don't really get EWCM, more watery, so I was like 'hmmm give this a go, can't hurt!'

Let us know how you get on?!

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Carla2601 · 18/10/2021 22:15

@BritInNZ I for sure will! Being on this thread has cheered me up no end today thank you guys! X

LittleMysSister · 19/10/2021 00:15

@BritInNZ I think my week is done too :) Suspect Ov happened today, or latest tomorrow.

I only managed to use the Pre-Seed twice too. Just find it so hard to incorporate - well, internally anyway, could always use it as a normal lube but don't think that will help as much!

I've also wondered whether CM is an issue for me as I can honestly say I've never noticed any EWCM, and I do try and check. I've seen a good few success stories on here for Pre-Seed and apparently it's recommended for those having fertility treatment so that can only be a good sign.

Got to say though, for some reason I'm not feeling optimistic this month...think ovulation not being when I was expecting has thrown me off and made me feel like we've not done enough...although last month we covered every every single fertile day with no luck so who knows!

Fingers crossed for us all this month 🤞

LittleMysSister · 19/10/2021 00:17

@Carla2601

Omg the reviews are totally amazing! May bath in it next week. 😂 Will also report back.
Honestly be careful....it's insane stuff, doesn't take much to find yourself bathing in it😂 Use a small amount because otherwise it can be an obstacle for your DP.
Original poster
BritInNZ · 19/10/2021 00:28

@LittleMysSister fingers crossed for us this month! We actually DTD a bit less this month, couldn't deal with the forced sex when we were both tired 😂 how longs your cycle? TWW buddies! Going to try and not obsess too much...

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Becca92xo · 19/10/2021 01:12

@BritInNZ

Hi everyone

Anyone else nearing that year mark of TTC and just feeling down and wondering when/if it will happen?

DH and I had a private fertility appointment this month and AMH and SA all good - no obvious reason why we can't conceive. We have to keep trying until January when we hit that year mark and then have more investigations.

I KNOW it can take healthy couples up to a year but it's only 3 cycles away now and I feel like I'm at the stage I don't even hope for a BFP as I know it's not coming.

I just turned 29 and DH is 31, so I know we have some time but it doesn't help when you're wondering what's going wrong.

Currently CD1 so obviously feeling a bit meh anyway, so just looking to chat to others in the same boat as I feel alone and like everyone else gets pregnant quickly ☹️ also visiting in-laws this weekend and when we booked it at the start of the year I was hoping it would be a trip to give them some good news, so that's a bit heartbreaking too.

Just about to go on month 6 and I'm feeling so disheartened as my 2 girls we conceived really quickly, losing hope fast and have an awful feeling in my gut Sad
FlyOnTheWall89 · 19/10/2021 06:29

@Becca92xo I’ve read lots of times about people with kids already and their conception times vary greatly. I would try not to read into that too much.

I am in the 2WW rn on cycle 6 (maybe 7). It’s a tough one. Feels like it will never happen. Zero symptoms at all. Begging to wake up with such tender boobs that I need to sleep in a bra like others say … Lol. Anyway, not out yet!

LittleMysSister · 19/10/2021 07:30

[quote BritInNZ]@LittleMysSister fingers crossed for us this month! We actually DTD a bit less this month, couldn't deal with the forced sex when we were both tired 😂 how longs your cycle? TWW buddies! Going to try and not obsess too much...[/quote]
Omg yes same, actually feeling relieved to reach the 2WW, was an effort this month. Just want to carry on naturally but sure to miss the important days if we did that. Sick of waking up thinking "right, when can we get sex in today?!"

My last few cycles have 29/30 days so I'd be expecting to come on by next weekend. How about you?

Hopefulhedgehog · 19/10/2021 07:31

Hi ladies please can I join you? Cycle 11 here. It's been a bit of a rough one, the scheduled sex is becoming a bit tiresome!! Sure you can relate. Ovulated yesterday and had temp rise this morning. I have 16 day luteal phase so a long wait ahead. We have had first GP appointment this month and 21 day bloods - they have referred us to fertility centre so just waiting for that appointment to come through now.

Original poster
BritInNZ · 19/10/2021 08:31

@LittleMysSister yes! I always think maybe I won't track this month... but then I panic I will completely miss my fertile days so end up tracking 😂

Yep I'm 28-30 days so I'll be next weekend too (although let's hope we don't get AF this month!)

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LittleMysSister · 19/10/2021 10:32

@BritInNZ Same 😂

This month I was so relaxed but then as soon as I knew my fertile days were coming it just didn't leave my mind.

It didn't help me that I started OPK testing later this month thinking I knew when my ovulation would be - basically did a test and didn't even get a faint line on the day I was sure would be my peak, so then I started obsessing. Never did manage to catch my peak on a stick in the end, but I did get a static smiley on a Clear Blue test so going by that.

Wish I never got into the whole testing malarky, certainly not so early on anyway. But the reality is it wouldn't be unusual for DP and I to go 3 days without sex so it would be total chance if we managed to catch the right days. And I can't even estimate my fertile week without testing because this month it looks like my ovulation was CD20 and I never would have expected that since the past couple of months it's been CD17.

Sigh.

Carla2601 · 19/10/2021 15:11

@LittleMysSister I’m the same with the testing - I’m such a planner and control freak that I wanted to do it from the off but now it just feels like a lot of admin and zero fun right?! Last month we went with the just DTD pretty much every day as we had a holiday and STILL nothing!

LittleMysSister · 19/10/2021 16:14

@Carla2601 It's so frustrating isn't it.

I came off the pill in May but didn't start consciously trying and testing with OPKs until last month...quite honestly I thought I'd never have to do any of this and that it would just randomly happen Hmm. Naive.

I was hopeful last month because I thought I had likely just been missing ovulation until then due to not tracking and going by the app, but we definitely covered all the right days last month and same as you....no luck.

It plays on your mind so much, wondering whether something is wrong to not be pregnant after a few months.

Original poster
BritInNZ · 19/10/2021 17:46

@LittleMysSister I actually didn't track BBT this month so I'm not entirely sure when I ovulated. It might have been late and I missed it as I think it might have happened yesterday and been late - had cramps and ended up lightly spotting (which usually happens around ovulation for me). I DTD the night before though so that kinda covers it I guess?

Yes I came off the pill in September 2019 (just don't get on with it) and we didn't use contraception, just withdrawal, and never once had a scare. So firstly I was like hmm what if something is wrong, but then when I started tracking I thought it would happen much quicker. The first 5 months I followed Dr advice and aimed for around day 14 then when I tracked BBT realised I actually ovulate around CD17-19! So I was like SWEET now I know this will be our month! But that was 2 months ago 😩

We had initial tests done and everything came back healthy except for the shape of uterus, but gynaecologist doesn't think that should affect conception. Got my next appointment end of January and if I'm not pregnant by then they want to scheduled an op to check for endo, check my tubes and potentially correct the shape of my uterus.

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Roaxx · 19/10/2021 17:57

Hi, hope it's ok for me to join! Glad to have found this post.

Husband and I are on cycle 7 and 3dpo today. I'm 28 and DH is 31.

Becoming quite anxious about it all now. I know in the grand scheme of things it isn't long but I always imagined being pregnant the moment we got married! 😂

My sister conceived within the first month or trying and my sis in law has went through IVF (now pregnant). So I'm feeling lots of emotions.

DH felt quite down last month as he's worried 'it's him' in his words. My cycles are textbook - 28 days every month. I was 4 days late last month which is unusual for me. Really thought it was going to be but AF came.

Hopefully this is the month for us all! 🙏

Original poster
BritInNZ · 19/10/2021 18:19

@Roaxx welcome - very similar to you. I recently turned 29 and husband is 31. We got married in February and started trying as soon as that was done.

Husband is very chilled though. We had tests done and he's all good, same with me. He's very much like 'it will happen when it happens' whereas I'm like I WANT IT NOW 😂

Hopefully it happens for you soon and you don't need any tests. You could do them if it helps put your husbands mind at rest?

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Carla2601 · 20/10/2021 08:12

Welcome @Roaxx also started TTC (this time around - I don’t have children but we did try pre pandemic for a couple of months then had to stop) in February too so you’re in good company here. I’m getting my tests started next week so if you do book let me know and we can chat ☺️

Original poster
BritInNZ · 22/10/2021 08:20

Random question everyone - has anyone had EWCM way past ovulation? I'm sure I ovulated 3 or 4 days ago (this is the one month I haven't done BBT!) and today I've got a lot of EWCM?! I never usually get it at all, just watery. I'm CD22 of a 28 day cycle so I'm 99% sure it's not ovulation (going to DTD just in case 😂)

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Original poster
BritInNZ · 22/10/2021 08:32

Sorry that's 4 or 5 days ago actually

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FlyOnTheWall89 · 22/10/2021 08:36

@BritInNZ I don't want to falsely get your hopes up at all but that could be a very good sign. Do some googling....

I am on CD30 - no AF yet. Feeling not at all pregnant. And so very sad about.

Original poster
BritInNZ · 22/10/2021 08:43

@FlyOnTheWall89 I just went down a Google rabbit hole... 😂 ah won't get my hopes up! It's probably just my body playing tricks on me haha

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FlyOnTheWall89 · 22/10/2021 08:48

@BritInNZ if it is completely uncharacteristic for you, it could be a sign. You could do an OPK. If its high, maybe you have ovulated late?

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