9 months TTC and losing hope

[BritInNZ]

Hi everyone

Anyone else nearing that year mark of TTC and just feeling down and wondering when/if it will happen?

DH and I had a private fertility appointment this month and AMH and SA all good - no obvious reason why we can't conceive. We have to keep trying until January when we hit that year mark and then have more investigations.

I KNOW it can take healthy couples up to a year but it's only 3 cycles away now and I feel like I'm at the stage I don't even hope for a BFP as I know it's not coming.

I just turned 29 and DH is 31, so I know we have some time but it doesn't help when you're wondering what's going wrong.

Currently CD1 so obviously feeling a bit meh anyway, so just looking to chat to others in the same boat as I feel alone and like everyone else gets pregnant quickly ☹️ also visiting in-laws this weekend and when we booked it at the start of the year I was hoping it would be a trip to give them some good news, so that's a bit heartbreaking too.

@Hopefullywaiting01234 that's crazy you have that too! Can I ask how long you spot for before AF? Must be stress?! My progesterone was brilliant so it's not that but it's so odd. But let's not stress about not stressing on top of everything else How was your christmas?

@BritInNZ I'm only on CD8 although have long cycles so we might have similar fertile weeks. And will let you know about SA. My husband is so nervous - hard not to roll your eyes. Where you away to for NYE?

Does anyone else ever just feel really angry? I never used to but lately I feel so angry at everyone who is pregnant. I think especially now I'm on month 11, obviously no idea how long anyone tried for and it could be much longer than me but I do know that I was already trying when everyone who is currently pregnant got pregnant, and they've got big bumps and I've got big fat zero and it just feels so unfair. Self consumed rant over!

@kmbegs yep I am really angry at the situation and my body! It all feels really unfair. It was weird seeing in the new year and not being pregnant when we started trying almost 12 months ago - I really thought I'd have had my BFP by now. I did a little prayer in my head that 2022 is our year... fingers crossed.

Yes we're away in a place called Hawke's Bay. It has been boiling hot which was been lovely. Spent the day at a winery yesterday followed by a BBQ and backyard games. AF arriving early meant I definitely over indulged in drinks.

I rang and booked my HSG yesterday as I thought it was CD1 based on the sheer amount of spotting in the morning but it hasn't progressed at all, so I am worried I won't properly start AF for a few days and I will still be on my period for my HSG 😬 anyone know if that's a problem? It's booked for 7 January, so the Friday before I go back to work which worked out quite well.

Hi everyone! Wanted to stop in and say HNY, I read through everything I’ve missed and hope you’re all doing ok. I also got EWCM from EPO so that’s definitely a good tip!

@BritInNZ I’m sorry to hear all your frustrations, if it helps at all I’m feeling the same. Glad you had a trip, sounds absolutely dreamy.

@Borolass84 I didn’t know about the funded cycles for military but glad that at least relieves a little of the financial concern (appreciating that isn’t the primary worry!)

@kmbegs so angry and so sad. Christmas amplifies it I think. All the family photos that look just like the family you wish you had for your photos, that life you want to be part of so close and yet so far away.

@Hopefullywaiting01234 hope you’re ok too - Xmas and NY the worst.

Small update from us, weve booked to see Mr Ramsey on 20th Jan to find out if he can help us at all. Apparently odds aren’t in our favour but there is still a chance so I won’t give up just yet. We told OH parents and they’ve been great and paid for this appointment for us so that’s amazing of them.

Happy new year everyone! Sad to be here without a BFP but trying to focus on all the things I have to be grateful for.

@BritInNZ I'm sorry about the HSG stress. I've no idea if it matters or not if you have your period but maybe just see what happens in the next few days. If it looks like you will be on your period could you call them and ask? Maybe they could just push it back a few days for you.

@Carla2601 that's amazing I have heard Dr Ramsay speak on podcasts and he sounds insanely knowledgable - like the best person you could see. That's so wonderful! And not long at all. And great that OH's parents are being super supportive. Are you guys London based or is it a virtual appointment?

Happy New year everyone! Let’s hope 2022 is our year! ... another celeb announcement 🙄

@kmbegs we’re London based so it’s in person (I think) we also got our fertility appointment through from the NHS on the 27th. OH family want to just go private but NHS has been so good with us so far so let’s see. That being said if they will cover it I’d love to free up a space for someone else.

Yep I think he is the best we could see so if nothing else then at least let’s hope he’s seen this before as everyone to date has no idea what to diagnose (worrying 😂🙈).

Sounds like you’re keeping positive - it’s hard isn’t it! Where are you up to with your appointments? What’s next step?

@kmbegs I would say on average about 2 days spotting! Sometimes it’s so very light you maybe wouldn’t notice (unless you were checking like me as I am obsessed) but other times more noticeable

@Carla2601 thank you. Great news you haven't got too long to wait and glad you have at least a bit of hope still. Your partners parents sound like god sends!

@kmbegs thanks. It seems to be turning into AF now (addition of cramps, lucky me!) so should be all good for Friday. A bit nervous but hubby is coming with for some support. It's going to be an expensive month! My HSG is around £300, fertility doctor appointment £100 and my husband needs another SA which will be another £100. It all adds up so quickly! But there's nothing else I'd rather spend the money on right now. Also how crazy is it that if we're not pregnant by end of March we won't even have 2022 babies?!

@Hopefullywaiting01234 happy new year lovely! The announcements suck... I've had several on fb over the last few days. People are now onto their second child and I can't even have one 😭

Happy new year to you all. Quick update. I’m at hospital on Tuesday for progesterone amh rubella and chlamydia tests then waiting for scans via gynaecology.

@Carla2601 yes if you or spouse serve in the armed forces and you apply via military you receive 3 cycles. Our area only permits one cycle so we will be applying through military to get the : cycles if we do end up going down the ivf route.

@Hopefullywaiting01234 yes especially when they literally have one then announce having another. Saddens me when some people don’t appear to want them either.

@BritInNZbgood luck with your tests :)

Hi everyone, thought I'd check in! I've been a little quiet although still reading!

CD13 here so I'll probably ovulate in a few days time. My last cycle was 28 days rather than 31, which I thought it had settled at. Where is everyone else at? 🤞🏻 for everyone - someone needs a positive on this thread soon xxx

Hi @FlyOnTheWall89 hope you had a lovely Christmas ☺️ I’ve been reading what I’ve missed since before Christmas and new year.
I’m on cycle day 29 - I’m having a bit of a mare as my cycles can go anywhere from about 30 to 34 days. Two days ago, so day 27, I was so sure I was pregnant. I had the same symptoms as October (I miscarried) and so very unlike me I decided to test early. It came back BFN on first response test. So I was gutted. I tested again next day as I was annoyed and thought f* it use them up! 🤣 and BFN again. However today I’ve thought maybe it was too early as the pregnancy test said it can detect 6 days before missed period. My missed period would be day 35. So do you reckon it was too early? I’m still having dizziness, dry mouth, watery mouth and nausea. No AF yet however a few minor cramps. Argh!! X

@LucyAnne34 ye it could be too early! Did you track ovulation? Mine vary from 28-31 - I think instinct isn't so so powerful. Try to stay positive whilst keeping expectations low to manage the disappointment I guess? Have you been trying a while like most of us on this group? Really want someone to get a BFP soon x

I did ovulation sticks and got a peak reading on day 12 and 13 so I’m guessing if I ovulated it would have been after then, maybe day 14/15. Yes I’ve been off the pill since April 2020, properly trying since April 2021 but there was months in 2020 when I used an app and tried to reach fertile window etc. so all in all it took about 14 months to get pregnant, and this is second cycle since miscarriage. The disappointment is horrible isn’t it. Sometimes I just know I’m not pregnant but this time I really thought I was! I still have a tiny bit of hope. I also have a gynaecologist appointment over phone today at 4pm. I’m guessing it’s for a bit of an assessment to see if we need some tests. How long have you been trying? X

Hi All, hope you are holding up okay. I was at a baby shower today, couldn’t face it but pulled myself together. Was pretty grim if I am being honest all the chatting of births, pregnancy and next to me cribs.

I have started spotting not even sure where I am in my cycle as didn’t count this month but I think only CD21/22 😕😕😕. I did use a pessary for thrush (tmi) so thought the blood might be related to that and I am still in with a chance but that’s only wishful thinking xx

@LucyAnne34 okay - could be a bit early still. I've read some stories of being at least a few days late before anything shows up. It's that horrible waiting game. 9 months now - I'm so impatient but try to stay positive, which is just easier said than done. I've had some initial blood work and I have a progesterone blood test next week. I had an internal scan in May for another reason and they said they could see I had ovulated so 🤞🏻 this is still the case. Just feels like forever. So sorry you've had to go through a MC. It is scarily common and the thought of waiting for so long and then having a MC is utterly devastating. How did your call go?

@Hopefullywaiting01234 does it say anything about potential bleeding / spotting after using one?

@FlyOnTheWall89 what was your initial bloods for?

It said their could be but I think it’s just wishful thinking cause I feel tired and crampy so think AF! This is cycle 12 😭

Does anyone feel like giving up? Sometimes I think that would be easier than this constant waiting and disappointment every month x

@FlyOnTheWall89 I had my call - doctor wants to to have HSG, the one where they inject dye into your tubes. I’ve heard so many scary stories about it so I’m dreading it! Has anyone on here had one? He also said that I have been trying longer than I thought - doctors told me to only count the months where we were actively trying not the months where we had sex willy nilly. Whereas this consultant said the opposite - count from the month I stopped being on the pill. So technically it’s taken us 18 months to get pregnant the first time. Which scares me thinking there deffo is something wrong!! The miscarriage was def horrendous but part of me thought well at least something is happening! That’s really good you’re ovulating! Half the battle really. Do you use ovulation sticks etc? We are wondering whether to chose a different way of doing the deed - every day throughout the months (suggested by consultant, yikes!!)
@Hopefullywaiting01234 could it be implantation bleed? I def feel like I want to give up sometimes x

Sorry - every other day - not every day! Think I’d be dead!

@Hopefullywaiting01234 sorry about the baby shower. I haven't had to go to a shower but been around lots of pregnant people and newborns and it's really really hard. Really hard. Sorry about the spotting too, but you never know could by the elusive implantation bleed.

@LucyAnne34 someone else in this group (@BritInNZ) is getting an HSG soon. I would love one, lots of people say they got pregnant after getting one. Did your GP order that or a consultant? Also doing the deed every day - that would kill me! Even every other day through the whole cycle I would find too much to be honest, especially as the months go on - it's exhausting!

@FlyOnTheWall89 I'm cycle day 13 today so we are pretty similar although my cycles are so bloody long I won't ovulate probably until next week. How you getting on?

@LucyAnne34 okay interesting re how he counts the months. Yes there is someone on here who recently sent for one ... she said it was totally fine but I'm sure she will read this and fill you in. I have also heard bad stories - I think it's totally individual, fingers crossed for you 🤞🏻. I think it's a big tick off the list to have done. Hahaha I was thinking wow the consultant even recommended every day - every other day is okay I guess.

@Hopefullywaiting01234 gosh there were loads - basically everything except progesterone as it was the wrong day in my cycle. I did have a specific AMH test either but everything else was comfortably in the normal bracket.

So I usually use CB, although for many of the months I've used nothing and just relied on regular DTD. This month I'm trying cheapies incase I have a really short quick peak. My cycle was shorter last month and I think it might be this month... is the photo attached peak or high? I'm CD14. Usually get a static smiley on CB on CD17. Xx

@Hopefullywaiting01234 also, big hugs re baby shower. A few months ago I sobbed when someone told me she was pregnant and I don't even know her that well. It is so hard and it feels so unfair. I'm not at the giving up stage yet... KEEP GOING.. you can do this 💕

@kmbegs well I think maybe I have a peak or high OPK today ... a bit earlier than expected. How long are you cycles? X

@kmbegs I had to wait a year and a half to be referred by gp. So it was the consultant that has ordered the HSG. He did say he would like me to have the keyhole one as of blocked tubes are found they can be sorted there and then, but due to covid he said I could be waiting a long time for surgery. Have you asked to be referred? And yes, doing the deed every day/every other day/every 3 days is even enough for me haha. I am so sick of it after all this time
@FlyOnTheWall89 I would say that’s positive/high but not peak. Peak the line would be darker. This has caught me out before! And thanks for the fingers crossed! Hopefully it’s not too bad and not blockages. However, maybe that would give me an answer If there was x

@FlyOnTheWall89 this was one of my peaks x

@LucyAnne34 - I almost gasped in horror that a consultant (if/when I get that far) might suggest dtd everyday 😂🙈! I have heard they recommend every other day and some months I did try from around day 9/10 -20/21 (I have shortIsh cycles) but even that is draining when it’s every month when some nights you are shattered or have plans but need to try and fit it in x

@LucyAnne34 oh wow okay, that is much stronger. I think this is nearly as strong if not as strong as the control line... I'll try to remember to take 2 to work with me tomorrow. Yesterdays was much lighter so maybe it's on the up and will be positive tomorrow 🤞🏻. Thank you so much!