9 months TTC and losing hope

[BritInNZ]

Hi everyone

Anyone else nearing that year mark of TTC and just feeling down and wondering when/if it will happen?

DH and I had a private fertility appointment this month and AMH and SA all good - no obvious reason why we can't conceive. We have to keep trying until January when we hit that year mark and then have more investigations.

I KNOW it can take healthy couples up to a year but it's only 3 cycles away now and I feel like I'm at the stage I don't even hope for a BFP as I know it's not coming.

I just turned 29 and DH is 31, so I know we have some time but it doesn't help when you're wondering what's going wrong.

Currently CD1 so obviously feeling a bit meh anyway, so just looking to chat to others in the same boat as I feel alone and like everyone else gets pregnant quickly ☹️ also visiting in-laws this weekend and when we booked it at the start of the year I was hoping it would be a trip to give them some good news, so that's a bit heartbreaking too.

@kmbegs ergh isn't that the worst!!! I remember that anticipation and positivity at the start of TTC and now it's just anger and frustration 😂 I think at this stage even if I did get a BFP, I wouldn't be able to fully enjoy it as I would be totally freaking out and worried!

How are you feeling today?

@BritInNZ I would be exactly the same. Don't get me wrong I would be delighted (understatement) but you read so many stories on here of false positives and chemicals I wouldn't fully trust it for a while.

I am okay thanks. Still no spotting or AF and I'm now late, for the first time ever, so stupidly (and I hate myself for it but) hope is creeping back in that maybe I got O day wrong and could still be in with a chance. This is why I don't usually test - I know logically I will get AF and then be super depressed all over again. It's all so hard isn't it?! At least I know it'll definitely be over by christmas. How you doing?

@kmbegs yes 100%, and because I have a septate uterus im also considered high risk for miscarriage too.

Oh wow! Yes I hate it when that happens and you get some hope... although I hate to be that person but you're not out until AF arrives. Do you have any PMS symptoms?

I'm all good 😊 really looking forward to the Christmas break, which has definitely taken my mind off things! And not 'trying' has meant just DTD whenever we feel like it - and it's actually been more often than the months we're actually trying! And way more enjoyable too when it's not forced/planned. Maybe that's why it's happened more! Don't get me wrong, even when not trying I will still be devastated when AF arrives but being able to book in for HSG will help take the edge off. Then have 12 month fertility appointment later in January too - so feels like progress!

It's so painful to see all the BFPs all the time from people saying "we weren't even trying!" eye roll

God, I agree with this so much. I really wish I knew someone in real life who took longer to conceive, my friends who have had babies in the past year all got pregnant within 3 months I think. None of them even used OPKs or anything.

It does feel frustrating but I think people taking longer is so much more common than we think, it's just not talked about as much. Also I imagine not everyone is honest about how long it really took them.

@kmbegs yes exactly. I have seen a few month 8/9/11/12 BFP recently and it does get my hopes up.

😂, the classic we only had sex once 🙈😭. I think I read somewhere that 78 times is the average amount it took for conception in this certain study. I’m sure we have at least tripled that 😂.

I’m CD28 now of a pretty consistent 32 day cycle, but I think I ovulated earlier so wouldn’t be surprised if AF came a little earlier. No obvious drastic symptoms. Just the waiting game now!

@FlyOnTheWall89 fingers crossed for you for a Christmas bundle of joy!!! Keep us updated?! As you can tell... I'm really busy at work so sacked off my ban from MN 😂

@LittleMysSister

It's so painful to see all the BFPs all the time from people saying "we weren't even trying!" eye roll

God, I agree with this so much. I really wish I knew someone in real life who took longer to conceive, my friends who have had babies in the past year all got pregnant within 3 months I think. None of them even used OPKs or anything.

It does feel frustrating but I think people taking longer is so much more common than we think, it's just not talked about as much. Also I imagine not everyone is honest about how long it really took them.

I have a friend that took 10 months and one that took 8 months - another around 9 months. So I know it can happen! And it's handy as they know exactly how I'm feeling too.

Evening all. Finally got OH SA results via letter. He’s normal. 80 million sperm in sample and good motility. I’m still waiting for my blood results; imagine it’ll either be after Christmas or the gynaecology department may have them as I have a telephone appointment with them this Thursday. I’m going to give evening primrose oil a try as I don’t get much ewcm. Anyone else tried this as a supplement by any chance?

@BritInNZ yes YOU ARE BACK hahaha. Sometimes even just a couple of days off can help!

@Borolass84 really good news about the results - I know in one way this can put your mind at rest but then it’s like well WHY isn’t it happening?!? I have taken EPO and can vouch for its ability to increase EWCM. I found it worked first time, super simple. I took 500mg twice daily on the lead up to ovulation. Stopped around the time I think I ovulate as wasn’t tracking. They’re one of the supplements that doesn’t cost as much as you see evidential results… unlike Ubiquol for eg which costs a fortune and you don’t reallyyyyy know if it’s right for you. Hope that helps xx

CD2 today and really frustrated.
@FlyOnTheWall89I've ordered some EPO and hoping I get them soon so I can start using these. The ones I ordered were 1000 mg , so would it be ok if I take one a day?
Also, I've just booked a private appointment with a gynaecologist as I'm not getting anywhere with NHS (a scan that was ordered by my GP last month apparently wouldn't be done until April).

@FlyOnTheWall89 yes I’m relieved about OH as he has low testosterone so it shows that issue isn’t affecting things. Oh that’s promising; I’m going to buy EPO today and start next week as I will be ovulating soon.

AF arrived guys, 3 days early do that was a surprise. Really disappointed. Surely 2022 has a positive in store 🤞🏻

Hi All! That’s AF for me been and went! Hoping you all have a lovely Xmas and that 2022 is a better year (couldn’t really be worse surely) xx

@Hopefullywaiting01234 @FlyOnTheWall89 sorry about the AF ladies 😞 it feels never ending doesn't it?! I guess one positive is you can enjoy Christmas without the constant 'could I be pregnant?' thought in your head.

My AF isn't due until start of January. But we have a busy couple of weeks with Christmas and a little holiday so that should keep my mind off it. And also because we haven't tracked I can't calculate DPO - just got to wait for AFs arrival! Kinda don't mind it arriving as I just want to sort the HSG now anyway.

My mum said it took her just over a year to conceive me. I wonder how less stressful it was then? No apps to monitor your cycle etc, just go for it and wait for it to happen. Knowledge is power, but it also sucks sometimes too.

Just got off phone to gynaecology department. OH results are fine despite low testosterone his sperm count motility etc all fine. My bloods are confusing; she said the bloods aren’t quite right time she said with that level I’d suspect you’re pregnant already! Which I’m not :( Going to hospital for bloods in Jan which include progesterone again, thyroid and amh. Then got to go back for stomach and internal scan. If found that I’m not ovulating, il be prescribed something for it. If no joy after trying for 2 years we get 3 free cycles of ivf as OH in military.

That's AF for me. Merry f*cking christmas! On to cycle 11. I honestly can't believe all this time and absolutely no further forward.

@FlyOnTheWall89 @Hopefullywaiting01234 sorry it happened for you guys too. At least we are in it together.

@BritInNZ glad relaxing this month has been good and yeah that's great about HSG and fertility appointment. I'm jealous, really considering paying £500 for a hycosy right now. But telling myself should at least wait for my husbands SA in January.

@LittleMysSister I have one friend who took 18 months with her first and 9 with her second. She made me feel a lot better at first but I actually find I can't speak to her anymore because she knows how her story ends and constantly says "you'll get there! It'll happen!" but just because she got there and knows how her story ends, that doesn't mean I will get there too. And I just find it depresses me more. I obviously don't say this to her...She's pregnant right now which doesn't help.

God I'm in such a sulk

@kmbegs we in same boat so to speak.
@BritInNZ enjoy your holiday :)
@FlyOnTheWall89 have started the EPO so will see how that goes and keep you posted. Merry Christmas to you all :)
@Tinkerbell098 I too have started EPO 1000mg so see how it goes. Merry Christmas:)

Do you know what I really liked (it made the whole situation slightly better) I gave myself period presents. Book something in when your period is due like a hair cut / getting it dyed / massage / what ever you like doing.

Its nicer to be sad while getting a massage rather than eating my weight in chocolate in bed. Although some months the present was some nice chocolates 🤣

Period is due on the 28th so limited present ideas….might go with the body weight in chocolate this month

Hope everyone had a lovely Christmas and you're enjoying the break.

My AF is due 4 Jan and started spotting yesterday on 29 December - it's so infuriating. Ever since my COVID vaccine I have spotted for 4-5 days before my period officially starts. Wondering if it's something I should be concerned about as I already only have 11 days of luteal phase... so spotting 5 days before AF means I'm actually only having 6 days of proper luteal phase?!

Anyway, just got to wait for AF to start properly and will then call for my HSG to get booked in. Will probably raise concerns about this at my fertility appointment on 25 Jan too.

ERGH this means we're officially at 12 months of trying and not even a hint of a BFP... happy new year to me 😢

@BritInNZ good to hear from you, hope you had a good christmas.

Sorry about the spotting. I've never had spotting in my life until my first month TTC and I've spotted every month since except the two cycles after I had the vaccine when I didn't spot but got really early periods. I've done so much research into it as it makes me worry that there's a problem and everything I've read says a couple of days spotting before AF is normal but more than that might be a sign of low progesterone. But I imagine you've had your progesterone tested though (so have I) so maybe just one of those things? I also find it really worrying and also just annoying but lots of people get it and consider it normal. The fact that I've never had it before TTC makes me wonder if it could be linked to stress? Lots of people say they spot before BFP but for me whenever I get the spotting it's hard not to think you're out. Let us know what they say about it at your fertility consultation.

In terms of your cycle length, my friend who got pregnant after 9 months trying used to get spotting every month from about 7 or 8 DPO and obviously it took her a little longer to conceive (although less time than it's taking us!) but she still did. Although she didn't spot at all the month she conceived.

Sorry that's you at 12 months. I'm on 11 so not far behind you and also no hint of a BFP. I know it's not a massive consultation but it's good you can book in your HSG soon and you have your appointment. This could be a game changer - fingers crossed.

No update from me other than my husband has his SA on 6th, which will be cycle day 15 for me. It's the one month I'm glad that I ovulate late! Normally not until day 20 so fingers crossed it's the same this month. He's not to have sex a few days before and I actually feel weirdly relieved. We normally start having v regular sex about day 10 just in case so it's nice to be getting a proper few weeks break of TTC sex, which I'm so over!

Also he has covid. We aren't isolating from each other and he's feeling okay but I've heard that covid can do pretty bad things for sperm. But at least we have the SA so we will find out.

How is everyone else? Everyone survive christmas unscathed?

@kmbegs - I have also been spotting since I started ttc and prior to that I can only think of once before in my entire adult life that I have. I think it must be linked to stress but I can’t stop stressing 🙈

@kmbegs thanks for the lovely and thoughtful message. Yes I had progesterone measured at my first fertility appointment and I'm assuming it was fine as nothing of concern was raised. Will see what he says in a few weeks and let you know.

AF arrived this morning, so I had a 25 day cycle rather than the usual 28-29 days. Kind of makes sense as I had ovulation pains way earlier than normal this month so suspect I ovulated earlier.

Ah the lovely SA! I wish my tests were that simple aye 😂 let us know how you get on?

When is your AF due? Nice to have someone whose timings are similar, makes me feel less alone.

Christmas was lovely and we're away for NY at the moment too. At least AFs arrival means LOTS of NY alcohol haha.

@Hopefullywaiting01234 sorry you're having spotting too! It's so disheartening isn't it? It's like you're out before you should be!

@BritInNZ I know exactly what you mean, not that I want false hope but I’ve not had any hope since started ttc! How are you finding the Xmas/NY period x