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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Original poster

9 months TTC and losing hope

952 replies

BritInNZ · 01/10/2021 01:30

Hi everyone

Anyone else nearing that year mark of TTC and just feeling down and wondering when/if it will happen?

DH and I had a private fertility appointment this month and AMH and SA all good - no obvious reason why we can't conceive. We have to keep trying until January when we hit that year mark and then have more investigations.

I KNOW it can take healthy couples up to a year but it's only 3 cycles away now and I feel like I'm at the stage I don't even hope for a BFP as I know it's not coming.

I just turned 29 and DH is 31, so I know we have some time but it doesn't help when you're wondering what's going wrong.

Currently CD1 so obviously feeling a bit meh anyway, so just looking to chat to others in the same boat as I feel alone and like everyone else gets pregnant quickly ☹️ also visiting in-laws this weekend and when we booked it at the start of the year I was hoping it would be a trip to give them some good news, so that's a bit heartbreaking too.

OP posts:
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FlyOnTheWall89 · 16/12/2021 21:48

@BritInNZ I am also very resilient and this is one of the hardest mental journeys with the most uncontrollable uncertainty. You are so right - many women know how we feel and many end up with a baby eventually ❤️

Carla2601 · 17/12/2021 10:47

@BritInNZ hiiiii! Sorry you’re back as i know it means anxiety. Also saw the Proudlock stuff and thought of you all.

I actually came back to share some (maybe) good news. My OH GP and the hospital have been amazing. Since the awful results and dire prognosis on Tuesday they have seen him every day and turned around two sets of bloods. All of this reveals he’s ‘lucky’ this is a blockage likely caused by some innocuous accident at some point. They have referred him for a scan which they’re hoping to do next week but might be January, and then surgery in the new year.

It’s a funny one - might mean there’s zero fertility issue at all - might mean there is one but we don’t know it yet. But we have options, and we are feeling a LOT more positive.

Hoping that lifts your spirits and THANK YOU all again for all the kindness and support. Happy Friday x

Hopefullywaiting01234 · 17/12/2021 11:21

@Carla2601 that is fabulous news for you!

FlyOnTheWall89 · 17/12/2021 11:34

@Carla2601 wow this is AMAZING news wahoo! Xx

Tinkerbell098 · 17/12/2021 12:25

@Carla2601 great news! So good to hear. Fingers crossed for you that it’s an easy fix xx

Carla2601 · 17/12/2021 14:32

@Hopefullywaiting01234 @Tinkerbell098 @FlyOnTheWall89 I know - @tinkerbell098 I’m crediting you for asking for the miracle 😊. Such a weird feeling as if we’re lucky we’re back at square one, which could be good or could be bad. But it feels a lot better than the it most likely won’t happen for you so we’ll definitely take it! No guarantees the surgery will work but we’re staying hopeful for now. Any other news from anyone? X

LucyAnne34 · 18/12/2021 18:11

@Carla2601 that’s great news 🥰 I bet it feels so good to have that hope back ❤️ Xx

Tinkerbell098 · 19/12/2021 05:49

@Carla2601 miracles do happen 😊 I’m so pleased for you that there is hope. Keep us updated.
I had a weird cycle last month (think it’s due to the new supplements I’ve been taking) so not sure what to expect this cycle. I’m CD 30 today so af is probably around the corner.

Carla2601 · 19/12/2021 20:08

@Tinkerbell098 not out yet then....I’ll be keeping everything crossed for you ☺️

kmbegs · 19/12/2021 20:28

Hi everyone, hope you're all doing well feel like it's been a while since I posted. @Carla2601 fab news so pleased for you - what brilliant news! You must be so happy to have hope back. @BritInNZ nice to see you back but sorry if that means things have been tough. I obviously will keep everything crossed for a BFP for you but if it doesn't happen next cycle it might not be as bad to get to 12 months as you think. For me the build up to turning 35 having spent 9 months TTC was horrific, but once it was over it almost felt like a relief to just have it over. The world didn't end which it almost felt like it would. If that's not helpful then feel free to ignore it.

I got a call from my GP last week saying the fertility clinic asked for some more details about me (weight and height) and for a chlamydia test. So had the test done on Friday (which wasn't pleasant but at least it's done and I already know I don't have that). However I'm hoping that means the fertility clinic will accept me even though I'm over 35 and have a child or surely they would have just said they don't accept me rather than asking for more info and tests. Fingers crossed, will be months before I hear anything else I imagine.

Now 11DPO of cycle 10 so I'll be put out of my latest round of misery soon. It's so hard not to be full of hope but also prepare for how hard it is when AF comes, especially at this time of year. I really never appreciated how hard TTC would be over the holidays, and it's not even christmas yet.

kmbegs · 20/12/2021 09:44

Hi everyone. 12DPO today and decided to test, which was negative (and a FRER so should be accurate). Why is it so hard every time? My daughter is also going through a real daddy preference phase right now and just keeps saying "I don't want you I want daddy". I normally have some resilience to deal with that and take it for what it is but not today, today it just makes my heart so sad. Going to let myself feel sad today then focus on christmas and surely a BFP in 2022.

Tinkerbell098 · 20/12/2021 10:28

@kmbegs so sorry to hear. I had a BFN this morning too. AF is due today/tomorrow. So feel a bit deflated myself. Also sorry to hear about DD wanting daddy more, but I'm sure she doesn't mean it. Big hug to you xx

kmbegs · 20/12/2021 11:54

@Tinkerbell098 thank you, big hug to you as well. 2022 got to be our year x

LittleMysSister · 20/12/2021 19:47

@kmbegs Ah sorry about your negative, and also about your daughter being cheeky and wanting daddy :) I bet she says the same to him when you're not about!

@FlyOnTheWall89 I just wanted to thank you for your recommendation on Evening Primrose Oil, I have been taking it this cycle and I have, for the first time ever, noticed some EWCM!! I never had any before to the point that I actually never really understood what it would look like.

Unfortunately, I've also got positive OPKs today - 2/3 days earlier than expected!! - when DP isn't coming home until Wednesday night so think I'm out this month again :(. We only DTD once yesterday and that's it, because I didn't think it was my fertile time yet. Annoying.

flipflop76 · 20/12/2021 19:47

We got there eventually though it took 7 years!

Original poster
BritInNZ · 20/12/2021 20:07

@kmbegs @Tinkerbell098 sorry to hear about the BFNs and imminent AFs. CD1 always sucks so bad and nothing you can do makes it any better. Thanks for your thoughts about the imminent 12 month mark - it will be a horrible AF and I will be mega depressed but like you say, once I get over that mark there's no more big milestones like 6 months and 12 months so might get a little easier.

I haven't tracked at all this month which has been lovely. Although it's still kind of impossible to completely block it from your mind! I had really bad ovulation pains and some spotting over the weekend. Not unheard of for me - actually had an ultrasound as the doctor wanted to investigate the bleeding around ovulation time but nothing of concern came up. If I did actually ovulate when I got the pains or 24/48 hours later, then it would mean I ovulated a few days early this month which could be good. Either way, I'm still just on countdown to that January fertility appointment and AF arriving so I can get my HSG booked in.

Can't wait to finish up work this week and chill out for two weeks!

OP posts:
FlyOnTheWall89 · 20/12/2021 20:33

@LittleMysSister really good to hear! It is a really noticeable quick change. I got loads this month, earlier than I would usually so wondering if I ovulated earlier too. Haven’t used any OPKs or anything. Annoying your DP is away but at least you have DTD yesterday. 🤞🏻 For good long life on those swimmers.

@BritInNZ hang in there - this is my fav thread to check because I am so so hopeful you or one of the other girls gets a BFP soon xxx

Tinkerbell098 · 20/12/2021 20:54

@FlyOnTheWall89 I am also thinking of using EPO from my next cycle. What strength is would you start on?

FlyOnTheWall89 · 20/12/2021 21:09

@Tinkerbell098 I have used 1000mg total, 500 twice a day. I know you can take more but this works well enough for me / is a good starter amount and you can always take a bit more if needed! X

FlyOnTheWall89 · 20/12/2021 21:10

@Tinkerbell098 oh ye and only take it up to ovulation, so your CD1 until you ovulate as it can interfere with implantation. X

LittleMysSister · 20/12/2021 22:16

@FlyOnTheWall89 Yeah it has been a really noticeable quick change, I am stunned!

My capsules are actually only 600mg once a day as well so even that smaller dose has really mad a difference. All thanks to you :)

FlyOnTheWall89 · 20/12/2021 22:31

Yay, glad it helped. Guys I’m on another thread for 8+ months TTC and someone got their BFP cycle 9! IT DOES HAPPEN GUYS.

WE CAN DO THIS 💕💫💕

Original poster
BritInNZ · 20/12/2021 22:42

@FlyOnTheWall89

Yay, glad it helped. Guys I’m on another thread for 8+ months TTC and someone got their BFP cycle 9! IT DOES HAPPEN GUYS.

WE CAN DO THIS 💕💫💕

Cycle 9 seems so long ago for me 😭😂
OP posts:
Borolass84 · 21/12/2021 00:40

I’m going to try evening primrose too as it seems to have some good reviews. I haven’t had ewcm for a long time so hope it helps with this issue.

kmbegs · 21/12/2021 20:16

Thanks @LittleMysSister and @BritInNZ.

@FlyOnTheWall89 it's nice to see a BFP from someone who has been trying a little longer like us. It's so painful to see all the BFPs all the time from people saying "we weren't even trying!" eye roll