Trying to conceive over 40 part 2

[October1979]

Here is a new thread for us girls

Thanks @Geriatric1234 I know, it’s so horrible. Especially when they’ll be seeing ladies who’ve had bad news before and need extra reassurance.

My consultant has said it’s a combination of the high nt measurement and my age. Even though the nt is just within normal parameters it’s higher than they would like. She’s told me not to worry as it’s still likely to be ok but to be prepared for the phone call saying it’s high risk. I will then have the harmony which will give a more definitive answer. I just think the NHS combined test is so deeply flawed. I know so so many people who’ve got high risk and it’s all been fine in the end. It’s so much unnecessary worry.

DH and I have just said we’ll discuss it if/when it’s bad news. Mainly because I don’t know what I’d want and feel being in the situation would give me more clarity. Xx

Thank you @sabtom I don’t think I was prepared for how difficult the waiting would be. I’ve just been trying to get through each day with the sickness in full force.

I’m not too worried about who knows. I just feel sad that I don’t have the same reassurances I had with ds. It’s just cast so much doubt as to whether we’re having this baby or not. So it just feels awkward to share it more widely.

I like your dp’s way of thinking. It’s definitely good to just enjoy pregnancy and cross bridges when we come to them. Xx

@Catconfusion I had this exact same thing happen at age 38 with my son. I think his nuchal measurements were the same. I ended up being high risk and the harmony was done for free and it ended up being extremely low risk 1 in 50,000 as a result of the harmony which is much more accurate.

I actually ended up calling the lab where they did the harmony and spoke to the lab technician who was lovely to get the result.

The only benefit of this experience was the free harmony test which is usually a few ££

@Catconfusion try not to worry until you know more, as others said nothing has shown that you little bump actually has any issues only that there is an increased risk that they might. Try to remember it also means they might not.

Big hugs lovely x

Aw thank you @birdbybird it’s really helpful to hear your experience. It’s so nerve wracking isn’t it!? I’ve heard the Harmony will be arranged quickly if the combined result is high risk so hopefully we’ll know quickly. Xx

Thanks you @Mattieandmummy I’m feeling a bit better this afternoon. I’ve got a good feeling it’ll be ok. Feeling sick hasn’t helped my state of mind tbh. I’m just going to take each day as it comes until we know. Xx

Sending love @Catconfusion, keep the faith that you’re in that crucial window of normal measurement. These scans are not an exact science either. Sounds a disappointing experience all round but fingers and toes tightly crossed for the results. I’m sure it’ll be fine ❤️

Thank you @Pamparam I’ve had a lot of scans and this was the worst experience I’ve ever had. I might even put in a complaint to PALS. It’s definitely scary but our chances still seem good. You’re right, I just need to keep the faith. Xx

Hi guys, am I ok to join in?
I've just read through the posts and I've loved seeing your scan photos.
I'm 41, just recovering from miscarriage.
I've been doing a lot of reading since MC to improve my chances of BFP and the things I am trying are:
Taking 300mg of ubiquinol
Vit D
Magnesium
Folic acid
Zinc
Vit c
B12

Reiki to relax me

Just had first fertility acupuncture yesterday

Conceive plus lube/gel has just arrived in the post.

I'm eating well (already vegetarian and eat a mainly whole food diet with very little processed food).

No caffeine

Got a holiday to France booked with my partner. We leave on Monday for 2 weeks.
I feel like I've edged my bets and I'm going to try and relax about it all now.

Welcome @pmtqueen. Sorry about your miscarriage, are you trying for your first or a multiple? Sounds like you’re doing all the right things to both ensure quality egg and conception, I think most of these things are good for just making us feel like we have control over it a bit, as well as improving the environment of course! Good luck!

I just got quite a decent line on a FRRR (bought accidentally when I was testing post-MC as thought they were FRER, I didn’t even know they existed) at 13DPO so back on the rollercoaster now. With my history of double MMC I now have to decide if I have two early scans since my last one didn’t catch any issues last time, or none since they seem pointless now. Bittersweet!

@October1979 @Catconfusion @ponymum1980 @99pctpractice @Marvellouslymadmum
How is everyone doing?

I’ve had 2 BFN last 2 months but now 3DPO…. Hoping this is my month! (Again 😂)

@Pamparam! GRATZ!! Most low-key BFP announcement ever!!! Xxx

Crossing everything for you @Honey2! ❤️

@Catconfusion I’m so sorry to hear about your bad experience at the scan and that the test results are worrying. It sounds like it isn’t conclusive yet, so hopefully it is a false alarm. Thinking of you.

Hi @Honey2 ! Hope this is the cycle for you!!

I have completed my first cycle of ivf with no bfp :o( it did go better than I had expected in some ways, so we’re going to give it another go in October…my consultant (a bit depressingly) said that with someone who is 40, they would expect only 1 in 6 embryos to be chromosomally normal when they do the PG testing so even though they transferred a couple of embryos, it was always against the odds that it would work. Hopefully there’ll be that 1 in 6 in the next round!!

Thank you @99pctpractice I’m sorry to hear about you IVF cycle. I really hope the odds are in your favour next time xx

Congrats @Pamparam it’s such good news. Xx

@Honey2 I’m sorry to hear about your past two months. Hoping for better luck this time. I’m doing well thanks at 12 weeks. Still quite sick but hoping it improves soon. Xx

So after all that we didn’t get a phonecall. The phlebotomist assured me we’d hear wishing 3 days if it was high risk and we’ve heard nothing. It’s seems miraculous it’s a low risk result but I guess maybe my bloods were good and it reduced it down. I still want to look into why the fluid measurement was on the high side. I have read a big baby can give this result. This baby is already three days ahead and our ds was big so maybe it was that. Anyway I’m feeling tentatively relieved this evening. Xx

@Littlemiss41andfabulous that's a beautiful scan pic! Congratulations 😍

Hi @ZNation and welcome, I am taking the following (most of which was recommended by the consultant)
300mg high absorption ubiquinol
Vit b complex
Vit c 1000mg
Vit d high dose
Vit e
Epo until ov
Pregnacare pre-conception
Folic acid
I'm also on a high dose iron, drink pomegranate juice to help the lining grow, eat raw fresh pineapple slice (including core) 5 days befire Ov day and ov day as they're both supposed to help

@Catconfusion aww that pic is lovely, I do hope you get the next results and they say everything will be low risk, I've seen someone else have the same thing recently and all turned out fine. Your sonography sounds very rude! I think I'd ask not to have her again 😡 great news that you didn't get a phone call, so pleased for you

@pmtqueen hi and welcome, sorry to hear of your mc.

@Pamparam hows it going? Tentative congratulations

@99pctpractice
Sorry to hear your ivf didn't go well, 🤞🏻 for the next go! I do think some of these consultants are still working on the statistics from years ago - 40+ is no age to have a baby these days!!

Thanks @Marvellouslymadmum it does seem quite common to have scares with the nhs tests. I completely get why people go private. Yes, to be honest her whole demeanour made me far more stressed about the neck measurement. Now I’m not even convinced she got it right. I think we’ll just wait for the letter to come and decide what to do. I’m still a bit worried and might even put a complaint in. Xx

@Catconfusion id definitely be tempted to put in a complaint if I were you, do you know how much the harmony tests are? I think I read somewhere before someone said about £500 may be worth doing anyway for your piece of mind xx

@Marvellouslymadmum yes I think you’re right. Sonographers shouldn’t be making people feel like that.

I think we’ll wait for the letter and go from there. I’ll also talk to my midwife about the fluid. I don’t know if I’m just panicking about it. It was only just within normal range when our son’s was really low so might just be comparing the two and worrying. We can’t really afford the Harmony so I might see if we can have a more detailed scan instead to look for soft markers. It seems like my blood profile doesn’t fit with a chromosomal issue so that’s good news. If we’re really worried after speaking to someone I’m sure we could find the money for the Harmony. I really think women over 40 should get it anyway. Xx

@Catconfusion yes! They are there for reassurance after all!

Yes that all makes sense, I'd be in the same position. Good plan to speak to the midwife, she should be able to give you some better answers

@Catconfusion Harmony tests are quite expensive, however they do give you peace of mind. You can get some places where it's cheaper than £500, I had mine done for £450 which included a scan but you can just get the blood test for £370. This was in Wimbledon, SW London if that helps?

Thanks @sabtom our local hospital will offer the Harmony at a discount I believe. I think it’s something like £300. We’ll just see what the results letter yields. I’m shocked it would come out low risk with an increased Nuchal measurement and my age. My bloods must have been perfect. I will be really angry if it’s just the hospital being slow with the results. I did tell them I was anxious due to the NT and they assured me the phonecall would come possibly the next day if high risk and certainly within 3 days. I might see if I can speak to a midwife today as I just want to know what the risk came out as and what the bloods are. Xx

I'm sorry to hear you are going through such a nerve wracking wait @Catconfusion. Hold on to the fact you are still in normal range albeit on the higher end. Sending love 💕.
@Honey2 Today is the first day of AF since mmc. Was worried it was never coming. I had a couple of really light frers for a couple of days at what I thought was 11dpo and 12dpo but then nothing. So maybe the signs of a chemical. Or left over pregnancy hormone. Anyway Cd1 for me and completely negative pregnancy test. So back to the start for me which is a relief. Hope everyone else is doing well xx