Trying to conceive over 40 part 2

[October1979]

Here is a new thread for us girls

[Catconfusion]

@sabtom so you might get some very big movements. I was anterior last time so it took a while for the movements to get established. They were there but not too vigorous until the end. It didn’t make me anxious though as there was a pattern. Xx

[Littlemiss41andfabulous]

Thanks @Catconfusion ,@sabtom, @Marvellouslymadmum and @Marvellouslymadmum!

@sabtom my mother in law is convinced it's a boy as she had a dream it was, and a friend thinks boy because I haven't had much morning sickness (sorry @Catconfusion**!) but I have no clue either way.

Thanks for your encouragement about how fab boys are @Catconfusion. I really don't mind wait her way what we have but find it easier to imagine having a daughter, probably because I am one! I think either way knowing the sex will help me process and get ready for meeting either our son or daughter a little better. I'm itching to know now.

My movements began as faint flutters/elastic band flicks in Week 18 and already by week 20 are stronger and more often and definitely entering the gymnastics category.

[Catconfusion]

@Littlemiss41andfabulous it’s so difficult to know based on symptoms. I was really ill with my son too so I wonder if it’s more down to how the hormones affect you. Great you’ve not felt sick.

I felt really similar to you with my first one. I was convinced it was a girl and could imagine it. I was even sad for a bit when I found out it was a boy. It just felt strange as I couldn’t imagine myself as a boy mum. Being a girl I imagined a girl. Honestly though it’s been amazing. I love him so much and wouldn’t have it any other way.

It’ll be great whatever you have. Xx

[Mattieandmummy]

@sabtom I wouldn't worry about having a posterior placenta, mine was for DD and it moved right up as DD grew. I think it's quite common for them to move up..... But it does mean you feel EVERY little movement / kick / punch / roll 😉

[birdbybird]

Thanks for the new threat @October1979 . How are you?

Wanted to check how you and the other ladies still TTC are doing?

Still trying here and on Day 23 and there is not much cervical mucus, no tingling breasts and temperature has dipped by a degree so I'm feeling dejected now.

This is Cycle #9 overall but Cycle #5 of trying after the early MC.

[Littlemiss41andfabulous]

@birdbybird sorry to hear your feeling dejected, I can totally understand why. The raising of hope and then crushing disappointment each month is so hard to navigate. I had 12 cycles of it.

Thinking of you and others TTC, and hope you get your BFP soon x

[birdbybird]

Thanks @Littlemiss41andfabulous . It’s nice to hear your updates… especially those of you on your way to first baby. Because it is so disappointing at times.

[October1979]

Hi @birdbybird I'm am feeling stronger and doing ok. I'm 7dpo I think. But still not sure I ovulated this month. I have positive opks and temps have went up but no breast tenderness. I always have that just after ovulation so not sure what is going on. Sorry your feeling low. I totally get it and have bad days myself. It's such a rollercoaster and trying to stay positive.
I phoned my gp about progesterone today for those that were interested. My last readings on day 21 were 58.1. Although he couldn't tell me what that meant. If any of you can let me know your thoughts?? I told him EPU said I should get it from him as the waiting list for recurrent miscarriage clinic is about 4 months. He has agreed to phone them for advice and ask about prescribing aspirin and progesterone and if they put it in writing he will proceed. He also said we should be asking for advice. It was good he seems on board. It's been lovely reading all the positive bfp stories and hearing about your pregnancies progress. It's keeping me positive. Hope everyone else is doing well. Good luck this month. Will keep you posted on my progress of what I think is post ovulation. However I think 4 pregnancies in 4 cycles is highly unlikely xxx

[Littlemiss41andfabulous]

@October1979 hi, and glad your GP is being supportive.

We had our 20 week scan today and found out we're having a girl ❤️. She was wriggling a lot but the sonographer got all the measurements needed and all appear normal.

I have to go back for growth scans at 30,34 and 37 weeks due to my 3 fibroids (pesky things were discovered at the 12 week scan) but they don't seem too concerned.

[Littlemiss41andfabulous]

From a month of tears 24ish weeks ago when AF came again, to 2positive lines 16 weeks ago to this today 😊

[GingerFox2021]

@October1979 your day 21 results are very good. Mine were 55.6 mnol and I’ve been told you need to have over 28 mnol to ovulate.

[Catconfusion]

@October1979 it’s really good your GP is willing to put in the legwork to find out what he can do for you. It’s so frustrating when they give you off. A supportive Gp is so valuable in this process. Also glad you’re feeling stronger too.

Remember I pretty much had four pregnancies in a row so you never know. It does sound like you catch easily. I’ll keep my fingers crossed for you. Xx

[Catconfusion]

@Littlemiss41andfabulous aww this is fantastic news. What a beautiful picture too. Congratulations on your baby girl. I found the anxiety got easier to deal with at this point with ds so hoping you’re feeling a bit more relaxed. I’m so pleased all is well. It goes to show ladies our age can have perfectly healthy babies.

I hope your news gives strength to everyone else. It’s certainly made me feel extra hopeful for our 12 week scan on Tuesday. I’m so nervous about the screening tests. I know our chances are good. It’ll just be a relief to get them done and know all is well. Xx

[Geriatric1234]

Ahhhhhh @Littlemiss41andfabulous I’m so happy for you!!! So exciting!!!! Crazy how just a few short weeks can completely change your life!

@sabtom that’s all so exciting too!!!

@October1979 my sister got her BFP on 1st cycle after mmc, and given how hard your body is trying to get pregnant, I wouldn’t be surprised by you getting another BFP. That progesterone result is high - again, to talk about my sister, her day 21 was 62 nmol and she had positive test 3 days later. When doctor called with results they just asked “have you done a pregnancy test” as it’s so high. So based on that you’re progesterone is excellent!

@birdbybird It’s a rollercoaster for sure. I hope you’re feeling better today. I haven’t officially stopped TTC but I have stopped all the tracking and I cannot tell you how much happier I feel. I don’t know how much you’re doing, but a month off might help you feel like yourself again. Sending lots of love xxx

[Geriatric1234]

@Catconfusion good luck for Tuesday!!! Xxx

[sabtom]

Congratulations on the 20 week milestone @Littlemiss41andfabulous Can't wait to reach mine (3 more weeks to go😊) I just wanna go for scan every week so I can see my little man 🥰

I wish for BFPs for all you ladies on here trying, don't give up, it IS possible after 40, we're not out yet!

[ZNation]

Hi everyone starting the journey at 41 years old and wondering any tips or things I should know as I seem lost reading others posts on what I should be doing.
I've been taking folic acid, eating as healthily as I can but other than that nothing else.

[October1979]

Congratulations @Littlemiss41andfabulous you must be so relieved and excited. Thanks everyone for your input re progesterone levels xxxx

[Pamparam]

Wonderful pic and news @Littlemiss41andfabulous!

Don’t be too downhearted @birdbybird. Not only have I been trolled by temps rising and not being pg (so I’m guessing it works both ways) but when I’ve been pregnant there has been zero CM. You’re not out yet!

@ZNation welcome. Look into ubiquinol as it helps our ageing eggs.

I’m hugely symptom spotting this TWw (didn’t last month) and also considered not going on a run today at 7DPO in case the jiggling affected implantation 🤦🏻‍♀️ Honestly, at my age you’d think I’d have some common sense!

[babyreds1518]

All the second guessing is exhausting! I was due on yesterday (exact day can vary).. today I have fresh blood streaked mucous. Not normal for me really.. anyone experienced that?
I should probably put myself out of my mystery and do a test but I would rather wait a few days x

[Catconfusion]

The good news is we generally had a good 12 week scan. Baby is moving and looking very good. Measuring big for our dates as well. Due date is now 31st March. Unfortunately our measurement of the NT (fluid behind the neck) is on the high side. It’s within normal parameters but at the 95-99 centile. This puts us at increased risk of Chromosonal abnormalities and heart defects. We’re now waiting for the blood test results to see what our overall risk is. My consultant thinks it will come out high so it’s likely we’ll need the Harmony test and then the agonising wait for the 20 week scan to see if it’s a heart defect. It seems in most cases a higher nt is fine. Ours is 2.8 and the level at which it’s seen as a big problem is 3.5 so we’ve not been given any referrals for it. I’m still really worried, mainly due to my age and our increased risk of something being wrong anyway. Ds measurement was normal at 1.7 so we came out low risk even though I was 40. I remember the relief and began sharing news of my pregnancy. This time I’m worried to tell anyone in case it is bad news. I’m hoping for a Miracle and for it to come back low risk when we get the overall results.

Don’t get me wrong, we’re so grateful to be in this position. Obviously we’ve not been told anything is wrong. Just that our overall risk is looking high. Chances are it’ll all be fine but it’s so stressful and I wish someone could tell me now it’s all ok. Xx

[Geriatric1234]

@Catconfusion That’s so stressful and I can’t say anything helpful, other than Google supports what you’re saying which is that now it’s just a waiting game. I think we older TTCers are conditioned by the endless pages of statistics to expect the worst, but there isn’t enough information here yet for bad news to be an inevitable or expected outcome. What I would say is, as of right now, your baby is absolutely well within normal NT parameters. High, but on a scale of 0-3.5 2.8 is clearly normal. If subsequent data changes that then you’ll deal with it, but you aren’t there yet.

When do you expect the blood test results? Xx

[Catconfusion]

@Geriatric1234 thank you so much for replying. If it’s a high risk result I’ll get a phone call in a few days. If it’s low risk (consultant thinks unlikely) I will get a letter in one week.

The sonographer didn’t exactly fill me with confidence. She barely spoke to us and pounded my tummy with her hands to get the baby to move. Baby was not in a good position. I felt really sick and my tummy is really bloated due to the hormones so it was really uncomfortable. Later on she wrote on my notes that she had poor visibility due to increased bmi. I really take offence to this. My midwife cleared my bmi as fine when I did booking in. All in all it was a bad experience. She wouldn’t have even told us about the NT measurement if I hadn’t queried it. It’s in the top 5% so obviously could be an issue. My 12 week scan with ds was lovely and reassuring. I couldn’t wait to tell people I felt so confident. This time I just feel really worried. You’re right, there’s so much scare mongering at our age it’s more upsetting to get a less that ideal result. It’s this feeling of, oh no, here we go. I’m now going to be punished for ttc later in life by something being wrong.

Anyway I’m sorry for the rant. I just really hope all is ok. I’m probably being too sensitive but I’m on week 7 of vomiting every day and I’m exhausted. Just can’t wait to get some reassurance and feel better. Xx

[sabtom]

What beautiful scan pic @Catconfusion 🥰 As @Geriatric1234 said, there's nothing helpful I could say, I totally feel for you. Waiting for blood tests/harmony results was just as stressful as waiting to see a heartbeat on a scan. As for waiting to tell people, do what's right for you. If you have people close to that can help and support you through this time then it might be easier for you to share the wait. We decided till the 16 week scan to tell everyone, although I now wish I'd had waited til the 20 week anomaly scan (in 3 weeks). But then again I'm trying to take my DP's advice and enjoy the pregnancy each day, and cross any bridges when we reach them

[Geriatric1234]

@Catconfusion That sounds like a horrible experience all in all. I will never understand why people in healthcare can be so unkind in situations that scream for kindness!! For what it's worth I don't think you're being too sensitive at all. I think anyone who has TTC over 40 has the BAD THINGS drummed into them so the switch from happy to scared is flipped very easily.

Does the consultant have a reason for expecting you to be high risk or is it just age?

One practical thing you might consider doing in advance of results is talking with DP now about decisions you might need to make. I know that isn't exactly a cheerful conversation, but if you're anything like me I would want to feel I was still taking control in a situation where you currently have very little information.

I'm definitely sending you lots of virtual love and am crossing everything that this is a mere blip in your pregnancy and we all forget about it in a few weeks. xx