Ttc for what feels like an eternity? Then you've found your bus! No fertile unicorns here, only infertile donkeys!

[notyetamumbuttrying]

Buckling up our are usual riders...and their stats on the fertility/infertility train 🚂
@Annny27 29, no1 since June 19
@RobinRose 27, no1 since Oct 2019
@kerrym87 34 no1 since sept19

@Motherofkittens28 39 no 1 since aug19
@Yutes 34 no1 since aug19
@Crazydoglady123 32 no2 jan19, ivf in April21!
@Marvellouslymadmum 41 no3 since April 18
@Tofu35 35 no1 since sep19
@Hayley19835 38 no1 oct18
@Narwhal88 32, no1 since jun19
@Dogmum13 29 no1 since dec19
@SlothMamaToBe
@Theawkwardblonde no1 for 18 months
@CreativeThinkerTequilaDrinker 15 months ttc ivf in June, ov 8th April
@2020mission 33 no1 14 months ttc
@Sjhigs 37 no1 since sep18 ivf consult mid April
@crazycatlady1981 39 no1 since Oct18, ivf in May
@PeanutButterBrownies
@Juno231 33 no1 since jan20
@clolo 31 no1 since jun19
@Aimzie 28 no1 4 years NTNP 22 months ttc
And me 😊 35 in a matter of hours no1 since sep19, ivf may/June

@Crazydoglady123 @crazycatlady1981 thanks both, I have done nothing all afternoon 😝

@notyetamumbuttrying yeah my manager and my deputy both know. I told my deputy as didn't want her thinking I was randomly having loads of time off and abandoning her! My manager is supportive and said I don't need to use leave for appointments (which goes against hospital policy) but I just feel bad and wonder what my team will think (I directly manage 3 but have a large team). I also wanted to be off for my mental health and so I wasn't stressed. If I did it again I could probably go to work during stims now I know what it's like.

On the subject of pets, I am a big animal lover but only have a dog. I could probably be a crazy dog lady too 🤪 we would need a much bigger house though! Me and DH aren't a fan of cats - I think this is due to the fact my mum had a mental cat that hated me (she was her first baby lol) and it used to try and attack me all the time when I was little. My DH is actually allergic to dogs as well but not ours as she doesn't shed.

Congratulations on being PUPO @Narwhal88, that I wonderful that you have one in the freezer as well so another chance from this cycle. As someone else said some others might still catch up as well. It's crazy the drop off rate, that's why I still can't believe we got to 5 day transfer when we only started with 1 egg!

@Crazydoglady123 thank you that would be a great help! I think I'm going to speak to the lady from the private scan place again and see if she will be able to check afc or for pcos with the scan too, then it's just amh to get done and I can go from there.

Morning all - still here, counting down to a week off work after today!

Lots of messages to catch up on congratulations @Narwhal88, now just to stand on your head for a fortnight 😉 sending lots of positivity your way!

I love all the pet talk, we officially have 2 cats, plus one that moves in when it’s too much at his and 3 strays that eat in our garden but never cross the threshold into our house (dusty, rusty, and musty - they’re all farm strays here)

I cannot believe some of the journeys you have been on and the waits that are faced, seems ludicrous when we all know, as women, age is a big factor, it’s almost like we’re left to drift into infertility in some cases 😞 keep your chins up!

I’m assuming my bloods won’t come back before b/h now so who knows if we tick the referral box or not 🤷🏼‍♀️ still I’m going to enjoy my birthday and try to relax x

I'm now 13dpo and these pains are now so bad I can just about stand up and walk😥it feels like lightning crotch but only on the left side. Really tender to touch just below left ovary area and feels like stabbing pains. Same stabbing pains down below too😬 has anyone ever had it this bad before? I don't fancy this being a new monthly pre af symptom 🙈

@Dogmum13 that sounds awful! When are you due af? I haven’t ever experienced stabbing pains, I just tend to get cramping, aches and sometimes a cold feeling in my uterus from about 7/8dpo.

@Dogmum13 if they're that bad I would definitely call your doc as it could be an ectopic, I'm not sure of the exact symptoms but I know it's very painful

Sorry ladies trying to catch up @Narwhal88 fingers crossed for you❤️❤️

I got a WhatsApp last night that another oe woman in my work team is 10 weeks pregnant 😭 her and my manager, like I don't even know them that well but they will be mentioning it on every team meeting 😔 so hard to not be bitter 🙈

@Marvellouslymadmum it might help if you keep ringing the secretary and explain your worries and highlight your bloods and the time critical element. If they get cancellations they won't call you but if you keep reminding them you're there and you ring asking for cancellations then you may get one. I kept ringing about my lap cos they couldn't give me a date even and said can we not use private hospital and strangely the offered me a slot to get it done. Sometimes those that shout loudest get heard and seen (shouldn't be that way i know) x

@Aimzie so so hard, every pregnancy is a blow... Then the constant reminders... Then the baby arrives... It's so hard not to be bitter. I hate myself for that, never thought I'd feel so resentful when someone else announced a pregnancy! You're certainly not alone!

@polejunkie I know isn't it such a horrible feeling, feeling guilty for being sad and resentful 😔 I even find it hard when my baby sister sends me videos of my nephew and that's so awful 😔😔
Can you believe some women decide not to get pregnant this month so they don't have an Xmas baby, imagine we had that luxury 😂

Thank you for the lovely welcome ☺️

@Marvellouslymadmum I think I'm 5dpo today, I took the trigger on Saturday (and actually had a positive opk lunchtime that day) and strong ovulation pains dubday evening. The letrozole actually pushed my ovulation day back by about 6 days, but I usually ovulate early anyway. So I think I'm due af a week on Sunday.

Congratulations on being pupo @Narwhal88 I picked up an embroidery kit from aldi (made a squirrel!) that was supposed to keep me busy in the tww, I've finished it already 🤦🏻‍♀️ hope you have things to keep you distracted.

@crazycatlady1981 @Crazydoglady123 thank you both. I have 2 cats! Dh would love a dog but he inherited my 2 😂 we have talked about maybe getting a dog, I am allergic to some though, but I know some don't shed and are hypoallergenic.

That's really hard @Aimzie ❤️ I find other people's pregnancies so hard to deal with.

I'm sorry you're in discomfort @Dogmum13, have you tested?

I think I might have missed some people! Hope everyone has a lovely day, I've been off all week, in for one day (working from home) then off for a long weekend. Shame the sun has buggered off xx

@Narwhal88 fingers crossed!
@Motherofkittens28 you can self refer to NHS counselling services online if you can't get services through fertility. There should be provision as soon as you're in the clinic system though and they told me u can access from the point you've been seen even if you're not receiving treatment yet.
@Aimzie its a bummer isn't it, so my friend has a miscarriage and sent me a message after I sent a funny pic with kids on at work (didn't kniw she was ttc) saying she'd had it just to let me know. All the times people sold stuff that cut deep I never once said anything felt sorry for the mc but also passed off as at least she could fall pregnant (I felt so bad for that but couldn't help it) then she fell next cycle. She's now on mat leave and now restrictions easing suggested we all get together at a park or someone's garden for tea and cakes....not sure I can handle it but equally at some point I can't keep running away from pregnant people. The babies are fine, I work on a baby unit and it satisfies the baby contact its the preggo people that gets me!

@Aimzie OMG I remember when we first started trying, working out what the due date would be and we even had that conversation about a Christmas baby... Seems so silly now after 18+ months of trying. Thing is I feel guilty because I already have a little girl and it's like it doesn't give me the right to desire another baby so much, like I'm a fraud - For context my daughter isn't from this relationship which is possibly why we want a baby so much, so my OH has a biological child, but don't get me wrong I am super lucky to already be a mum x

@Motherofkittens28 did you get a small rash with your buserelin? Mine was really itchy like a mosquito bite for half hour after the injection. I did it at 7.30am. Itching went after about half hour and the rash is going down now

@polejunkie noo never feel guilty, it doesn't matter if you already had a baby, (in the nicest way possible) your feelings are very very valid & secondary hurts just as much ❤️❤️
@kerrym87 your so strong I don't think I would even be able to work around babies, I'd just cry, although the dopamine from them would probably help that 😁❤️

@Crazydoglady123 not a rash as such but if you don't inject it deep enough (or just randomly sometimes) the fluid sits there for a bit until it gets absorbed. I don't remember it itching but I certainly remember a few times having a raised lump for a couple of hours.

@kerrym87 it may be worth a go, I was thinking of talking to them today and finding out if there's anything else they can do from there, can't hurt

@Aimzie Im completely with you on the baby announcements etc! I get guilt for feeling this way but it's impossible not to!

@VenusStarr I'm right with you then, 6dpo here I think. I cross stitch which keeps me pretty well occupied a lot if the time

@polejunkie I sometimes feel like that, I know I'm lucky because I have two children from a previous relationship and so does my partner, but we don't have any together and desperately want one. It would really bond out families together. I do feel guilty though because I do have children (albeit nearly grown up strop bag teenagers)

@Motherofkittens28 thank you. It was definitely in all the way and had no leakage. This is how it looked after

Thankyou @Aimzie and @Marvellouslymadmum I feel you, a baby would complete our family and I'd love for a sibling for my daughter but it's in the hands of the gods now!

@Crazydoglady123 I used buserelin for my trigger and I had a red patch exactly the same as that and it itched for a bit. Completely normal I think. I held on ice pack on it after which helped.

Omg I have woken up with extreme vertigo this morning. If I'm not laying down and not moving everything spins. Seems it's a side effect of high progesterone.

@Narwhal88 ah good they know. I'd be the same as you with the stress management. I've heard from others that stims aren't too bad to so that's the only reason I'll work through that (if I find it ok of course, I guess I could feel different). I passed on going for a promotion as it would involve line management and more responsibility and I just thought I can't when I'm about to go through all this. My boss asked me why I didn't apply...I just said for personal reasons, it'll all make sense when I tell her about ivf I guess!
@polejunkie when's your birthday?
@Dogmum13 I would test in case it is an ectopic. Hope you're ok
@Aimzie gosh that's tough! I had that when my male colleague was back from paternity leave, constant questions to him with me just sat there on zoom like 😒
@Crazydoglady123 ooh is that from all the injections? I've got flab on my belly so hopefully they don't leave a mark on me lol!

@Crazydoglady123, yeah I think sometimes it did look like that. The important thing I think is if it goes down/stops after a while. If it stays like that all day then I'd probably contact the clinic and double check with them. My clinic were always really good with responding to random questions.

@Narwhal88 I think I had some dizzy spells post transfer, I think its from all the hormones as you say.
@Aimzie and @Marvellouslymadmum I am horrible when other people get pregnant/have their babies, just consumed with jealousy. Of course I'm happy for them deep down, but sometimes it feels very deep down!

@notyetamumbuttrying my birthday is Sunday - luckily I can have some drinks with friends in the garden at least!