TTC after MC - October 2020 (Thread 14)

[VP91x]

Morning all xx

BFPs as I know you all check in and I love updates 💕

@1990EM
@Tink20058
@SmileyT
@2020wish
@Pugprincess
@Lollol86
@MrsK21
@Bellabubble
@MinnieMouse4
@Jazper

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@VP91x
@MichT4
@Rainbowhope11
@Diorissimo1985
@Northernsoul90
@Firevie
@chloedancer897
@Happyvibes
@susiebluebell
@Furbsies
@Runnergirl1
@RichmondLady1981
@familybythesea
@Sallyjo27
@2alreadywantanother
@bxiiboo

I don't think I have everyone tagged so please pop yourselves in.

Anyone else that would also like to join please do, we are a supportive bunch💜xx

@Firevie we're trying for our first too, DH left the full time army 5 weeks ago after 6/7 years of living away from home :) he's joined a reservist unit as he still wants to do deployments, but he's been away 12 out of the last 15 months so other than 1 shot in February we've not been able to TTC until he came back from deployment in July.

Never know, this could be it for us, here's hoping!! Fingers crossed for us all that we get to have our first Xmas being pregnant :)

@MSG92 oh wow must have been so hard having been away from him! Yay good luck to you and enjoy TTC! Here’s to our Xmas pregnancies xxx

Oh yay to your static @Firevie it sounds like you’ve got it all very well covered for the FW so sending you lots of baby dust 💫 xxx

I’ve just had the weirdest feeling. 6 of my close friends are currently pregnant, 1 just announced today. I had the weirdest feeling of not being upset this time. I think I’ve just come to realise and accept that what will be, will be for us. It’s a very odd feeling cos then not being upset, makes me wonder will I just be like this forever? It’s so hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel and I think I’m just now numb to the heartache.

I don’t really know why I’m typing this tbf hahaha. Just kind of therapeutic I guess to sometimes share emotions xxx

@HappyVibes if sharing makes it better. Do it. I understand you thought sometimes we need to give our hearts a way out and somehow your mind has decided this is it. And I'm sure this won't be it forever.

There's no time line to follow like others. You can have your own. I recently decided to apply for a university course. I had wanted to do it straight out of school but didn't have the means then. Now I do. So I did. I'm 10 years late. But hey. My own timeline.

But I totally get you. I am from an Asian background where there's a lot of pressure for me to have kids once I tie the knot. Literally been dealing with several older relatives asking me every week if there's any "news"... Its at the point where I've stopped picking calls or answering messages.

Ah sorry ended up venting out myself.

We are all in this together. Hope that as time goes on you find it easier and also get a BFP soon xxx

@msg92 omg 6 out 7 days. That's definitely dedication. I've been going at it every other day now. Did every day earlier in the month when I thought I had my peak. But will definitely dtd today then skip a day and then dtd and that will be it for this cycle for me. I'm exhausted. Just totally knocked out earlier during my work lunch break, and seem to be having massive headaches this month.. Grrrr

@Furbsies haha I know! I can assure you it's not out of choice, on my part anyway lol. I just need to know that I have done everything possible! I had my peak yesterday at 1.66 and today its down to 0.44 so think 1 more tonight should do it for a few days, thankfully! I just need it to happen, it's driving me insane!!!!!!

@Firevie your poor mum! I hope she's ok! I've had a rollercoaster month thinking I wasn't ovulating because of my temps and then getting bloods done to confirm ovulation but I'm 12DPO now and feel like AF is coming. Sharp pain down low and sore boobs so she'll be here like clockwork as usual! I've reserved myself to the fact that I don't think this will happen and going to stop tracking after this AF. It's been too long and I need my life back. Also had to get a bloody covid test today so that was less than fun! I've already ordered my box of lush treats for AF coming and bought myself some new clothes as a treat and planning another tattoo. I've been putting tattoos on hold (hubby is a tattoo artist!) so I'm just going to get on with my life now!

But like I said before, I'm lingering on the thread to see all your BFPs!

@HappyVibes I am so hopeful for you this month, your positivity is just amazing. When are you testing?x

Ah you sound so much more uplifted @chloedancer897 than when we last spoke. I do hope that AF doesn’t make her grand entrance for you.

I do fully agree with you re: trying to enjoy life. I’m going to do the same next month too, if this month isn’t my cycle. I’ve been holding back on going heavy in the gym (not going at all in TWW), not having massages, hot baths, botox, henna brows etc. I’m just gunna resume to all things normal life related for me after this cycle.

Oh gosh I don’t feel overly positive at the moment. I just feel like I’m accepting that my journey is not as easy as it is for some. I feel a bit flat at the moment like so much less excitement and optimism now - think because i convince myself each month, and now I’m just being realistic.

I’m not 100% sure you know re testing. Ideally next Saturday so I know for sure. I still can’t find any FRER around here! Madness! So I never trust anything even if I do test early. I might get some FRER online. But then again with my lack of optimism at the moment I feel like I’d be wasting money. I don’t know why I’m lacking optimism, we have done all we can. But I guess it’s probably just self protection mode?

I love hearing the BFPs - I wonder who our next testers are eeek 💓💓💓

@HappyVibes I know that it's coming and I had a good cry about it knowing it was our last month TTC but I have to accept that it's time to close the door on this journey. It would have been wonderful and an absolute miracle if it was this month but I just know deep down that it won't be.

I went back to drinking coffee this month and even got lip filler which I had intended to do for years so I'm glad I'm finally getting to do the things I want for myself. And I plan on losing a bit of weight and working out more and just taking more time for myself
3 years is a long time to put your life on hold and it was enough for me

That sounds lovely that you’re focusing on yourself and your family. And if you don’t use contraception for the foreseeable, then who knows what the future holds but without the pressure of it being a must for you. I admire your strength and determination lovely. Happiness in life is the key & if we know some things are not making us as happy as we can be, then we need to do something about that. Lip fillers are a dream - again, something alongside my botox that I’ll be topping up too xxxx

@msg92 same here. Just want it to happen, my DH has asked me to go opk free next month. Not sure if I can do it. It will test me.

I had my peak yesterday with 2.33 and it went down to 1.35 earlier today and now its 0.75. So that was definitely my peak and I'm so so happy I kept testing.

we are in the tww now. I feel quite optimistic.

I was about to start a new thread when found this. I am undergoing a MC after my 2nd IVF cycle. If it had stuck; this would be the 9th week :( :(

My hcg this Monday was 78. Have to go to repeat next Monday. EPU wouldn't discharge me until it's below 20.

I have already bled twice. 7 days in 6th week and 6 days in 7th week. Since then no bleeding; pain has almost gone.

EPU nurse tells me that my body is doing what it's supposed to do.

I know each body is different; so can't compare with other people. But do want to know when did your body come to normal state after MC? My cycles are fairly regular.

I also want to know how soon can I start trying again after MC? Is it true that you are more fertile after MC?

Did you do anything different or took special care after MC?

@ttcaftermc sorry you find yourself here, it sounds like you’ve had a journey that must be very emotional.

In terms of cycles post MC - they do vary from person to person but the general consensus is that they generally do change our cycles, even if just for a short while. For example the length of cycles can often change. I was a regular 28day cycle kind of gal pre MC, I’m now averaging about 34day cycles.

In terms of when you can resume TTC, you can start straight away and don’t need to wait for AF. Medical advice is often to wait until your first AF - but this is so they can date you accurately should you conceive that cycle. However, there are no physical medical complications or reasons why you can’t. It does however depend emotionally of course when you and OH feel ready.

If you are ready straight away, you count the first day of the bleed as CD1, to help then to track ovulation. I ovulated 13 days post MC for an indication for you.

They do say you are more fertile within the first 3 months post MC because of your hormone levels. This helped me emotionally to have my optimism and look forward at the early stages post MC.

Sending you lots of warm thoughts.

Please be very gentle and kind to yourself going through the emotions, they can be very difficult. My advice would be to allow yourself to feel each emotion, none of them are wrong, it is all part of the grieving process. I would also highly recommend being very mindful of your OH also going through the same emotions as I do think that they often don’t get much consideration in this often heartbreaking journey.

Sending you lots of warm thoughts & healing vibes 💓💓💓

@HappyVibes I like seeing your positivity in your messages to others, you are so kind to them even though you’re going through it yourself. I’m on the same as you currently 6dpo and AF due next Saturday 7th Nov - so will be testing if it’s not then. Have you been tracking OPK and BBT?

@ttcaftermc so sorry to read that and to see you here on this thread. My body seemed almost back to normal after a few weeks, but I was so exhausted for my first cycle if not more. I’m now nearly three months since my MC and my body is feeling back to normal, still no baby though so not sure about being more fertile! I’ve heard a lot of stories from friends who conceived straight away or within a month or two so fingers crossed for you 🤞🏻

Thank you @RubyRainbow16 that is so lovely of you to say. I have used OPKs to detect my peak & did test for a few days after too, just for reassurance that it was my peak. I don’t track BBT so just waiting it out in the dark at the moment.

How about you lovely? Me too re trying to wait out until next Saturday - see how long I can stay strong for haha.

Xxx

@HappyVibes this is my first month of using OPKs and BBT and had my peak last weekend so it’s a relief to know you’re actually ovulating! It’s so hard to wait another week yet, last month I tested early and started imagining symptoms like nausea so I don’t want to get in that frame of mind just trying not to think about it (as hard as it is)!

I’ve done that a few times @RubyRainbow16 and it’s heartbreaking but absolutely crazy what your mind does to you playing tricks on you. That’s why I’m going to hold out testing as long as I can. I used to always work out the earliest date I could test with an early detection and use that as my testing date but I’m over that now ha learnt my lesson. How are your temps showing atm post ovulation? Xxx

@HappyVibes it’s so crazy how your mind can torture you like that?! How long have you been trying for if you don’t mind me asking? Yeah the temps are always up and down but you can see a clear increase about 2 days after my peak OPK and now it’s going back down to where it was at the start of the month so it seems to look as expected. I’ve been tracking both on the Premom app which has been really handy because it’s all new to me!

Ah I said I’m gunna start BBT next cycle if I need it, it sounds super helpful.

Yeah course lovely. We’ve been trying 12months in November. We had a chemical in Jan, then conceived again in March. Sadly it was a MMC that we found out at the 12week scan in July. We had another chemical that same cycle straight after MC. So we are now 3rd cycle post chemical 💫 Something is obviously working well for us in terms of conceiving - just need an extra sticky bean 💓

How about you lovely? Xxx

@RubyRainbow16 sorry forgot to tag you xxx

@HappyVibes oh no so sorry to hear that sounds like it’s been a tough year for you. Really hope it all works out for you soon 🤞🏻 I guess we will find out on the same day this month!
We started fully trying around June, conceived in July so faster than expected then miscarried in August. Now 3 cycles in since the MC and finding it draining emotionally. But I feel like that’s nothing compared to what you’ve gone through this year! I’ve found it tough recently as my sister is 2 weeks ahead of where I was and she’s just found out she’s having a girl and it’s just so bitter sweet that it would have been us! Really praying to conceive again before when I was due in April I would really struggle facing it!

@Firevie hey! Thanks for checking up on me. I'm fine thanks ☺️ how are you doing? xxx

@Jazper how are you today? xxx

Sorry to any newcomers, sorry you find yourselves here. Sending lots of love to everyone xxx

Ooh goodness @RubyRainbow16 it is hard with people around you expecting, and so hard with people around you expecting similar time to your date. I’m the same with my sister-in-law being 1.5 weeks behind us. It’s a whole mixed bag of emotions is this journey.

Aww that’s very reassuring for you that conceived so quickly when first trying, hopefully that brings you some comfort and hope lovely.

Thank you for your kind words 💓

@HappyVibes I get the number thing too! Mines 11, I see it everywhere everyday it’s mad. I always say thank you angels 👼🏼 it’s been happening since the first baby I lost. But I always had the time 11.11 since a teenager too x