Preconception planners - still planning

[Bells3032]

Hi all. thought i'd make a new thread as the old one getting close to a thousand. Don't forget to rejoin!!

For us, COVID has actually helped our situation. We were going to start end of 2021 to give us time to save bit more money. But we are both working from home saving lots in travel and food/going out. It made us appreciate what we have already and we thought why delay it by a year. I also decided to come off Cerazette as I realised it was having massive effects on my mental health and had enough of feeling like rubbish.

Can I join?

This is our first month of TTC baby no 1 after coming off of the pill, despite being in a semi-long distance relationship in the process of moving in together. We do like a bit of drama in our lives

We are both on the vitabiotics conception vitamins at the moment. DP is just as involved as me and its lovely to be on the same page!

What's everyone's thoughts on caffeine? Do you cut it out completely for TTC and pregnancy? I only drink one cup of coffee a day so really not much but getting varying information about caffeine.

@mackjm20 yeah same, not giving up the wine completely just yet but I do need to cut down a bit, it goes down a bit too easily sometimes (a lot of the time 😂) I would like to lose a few lbs before ttc and cutting down on the wine def helps!

@TTCWC2 we really can’t put it off any longer given we are both already 35, only reason we are waiting till Jan is to give us a chance to get the house on the market. I am one of those who had to cancel and rearrange their wedding (supposed to be married April, finally managed it in August). Rather than make me want to push things back Covid has actually had the opposite effect on me as I have realised you can plan and plan and plan everything to the last detail (2 years of wedding planning 🙄) and it still won’t turn out how you thought, so waiting until everything is perfect just seems pointless. Honestly knowing what I know now I really wish we had just had a small wedding to begin with and had already moved and ttc but hindsight is a wonderful thing! In fairness DH and I have only been together 3.5 years and things moved pretty fast with us so there were good reasons not to totally rush everything but it feels very different now staring down the barrel of my mid-late 30s!

@Toobroody welcome! Good luck with ttc!

I don’t drink much caffeine anyway, usually just one cup of tea a day, maybe 2 at the weekends , and don’t drink coffee. On the one hand it’s not a lot so I’d probably be ok but on the other it’s not a big deal to me anyway so it’s easy enough to make the switch to decaf, I’m planning to do that in the next month or so (not ttc until Jan). I have told DH he will need to cut down the coffee though as a book a lot of us on here have read (The Impatient Woman’s Guide to Getting Pregnant, would def recommend!) suggested that a few cups of coffee a day can really cut sperm count 😱 he’s happy enough to try decaf so on the hunt to find a good one for him. I think it’s probably a judgement call based on how much you drink (sounds like you don’t drink much) and how healthy your diet and lifestyle is in other respects.

@Toobroody welcome welcome! I am debating the same myself. i don't drink coffee but i love my diet coke. I am trying to switch it out for caffeine free. Thankfully with the lock down hopefully no one will notice the removal of my favourite drink for a lowly cousin!

@TTCWC2 a lot of people seem to have put it off the first few months of the pandemic and now are realising they have no idea how long this will last for and we may as well just try and get on with life. For us it has been more to do with the timing of husband's fertility treatment, we just can't afford to wait.

Feeling pretty rough today. having terrible muscle spasms in my shoulders and neck so had to resort to some diazapam. i have no idea what i am gonna do if this happens during a pregnancy as i can't take my medication or use any of the deep heat etc i usually use to try and ease things.

So after discussion last night we managed to find a slot tonight for husband to do a SA. So a bit anxious about tonight as it's the big one. if there's zero improvement we may have to consider what other options there are out there. (for those who haven't followed previous threads my DH is a cancer survivor which damaged his piturity gland which produced all the hormones etc and we are coming to the end of 18 months of hormone treatments).

So today is gonna be a tough day

@Bells3032 Sending you lots of luck and really hope today goes the way you want it to 💗

@rosiefl so good that it’s had a positive impact somewhere :) exciting that you have moved it forwards!

@Toobroody welcome :) ah how exciting! That will keep you busy :) so nice that dp is really involved too :) I have not cut out caffeine or alcohol (I have reduced) but rightly or wrongly will probably only cut out once I get a positive test. If it takes a long time I may reconsider but not currently done so.

@TheNewMrsW hahaha I hear you! Love wine and cheese I will miss both of these in pregnancy haha! Yes I am the same I know that cutting down will help shift the Lb as I still have quite a bit I want to lose eek

@Bells3032 I am the same my weakness is Pepsi max but I’m sure that will probs have a lot of caffeine in!

So sorry to hear you are feeling rough today, bless you! I’m keeping everything crossed for you on the results of the s.a.

Sounds like you will need some wine and choc by the end of today! Sending love and well wishes to you and dh x

I wondered whether it is 'normal' to become obsessed with the idea of having a baby. I've started looking at nursery ideas and clothes etc. Is that odd?? I'm not even pregnant yet. Wondered if anyone else goes through spells of this?

@Bells3032 all the luck in the world for today 🤞

@mackjm20 well we can encourage each other to cut down a bit and lose those last few lbs!!

@rosiefl not weird at all I'm the same obsessively reading MN and googling things and looking at baby stuff. It's like once you make the decision a switch is flipped. Either that or it is weird but I'm just as weird as you are 🤪

@rosiefl i think it's normal - but i am a bit insane so may not be the best things. Before lockdown i was so anti wanting a baby. Suddenly lockdown meant a switch went in my brain and I became obssessed with checking out maternity hospitals and deciding on what buggys i liked. I even made my DH discuss names (we don't even know if we can have kids).

The clinic called my DH and said they'd double booked his slot but can do this afternoon. he's quiet at work today after three weeks of chaos. So it's being done 4 hours earlier so means 4 hours less of anxiety.

I am also waiting for my AMH results - should get them today or tomorrow. So end of tomorrow should know if we are ready to go or not.

PS thanks for all the good lucks

Blooming heck, 1000 messages! Haha we are a chatty bunch aren't we!!

@mybobowler @ttcwc2 @rlou3 @rosiefl @toobroody welcome to the group!!

@thenewmrsw really? I had no idea either, although I have stopped drinking tea and have not had it for quite some time! Only go for a tea if I really fancy it, otherwise its coffee for me! Caffeine is a hard one to hit tho, but the switch to decaf has been OK, but I sometimes forget how much its in other stuff like chocolate! I drink a lot of coke zero so should check to see if there is any in there.. cant remember if its just usual coke and diet its in?!

@bells3032 ouch the spasms doesn't sound good! Someone once told me that potassium is supposed to be good for that, but I never tried it. Hope the SA goes well for your OH, I can imagine that must be so daunting! Hope you get your AMH results soon too! Sending you lots of love.

So turns out that the wedding I have been planning my TTC around might not even go ahead now in Feb, so I am torn between starting TTC earlier or just keep to the original plan.
Cons of starting earlier:
The wedding might still go ahead so I may not fit in to any of the outfits
I still have a few lbs to drop before I am at a healthy weight
Pros of starting earlier:
Starting TTC earlier

Hubby is not so fussed, but now my mind is torn! I mean to be honest its the difference of one month. Someone help me. I thought about doing the NTNP method, but who am I kidding, I have been tracking my ovulation for 3 months now, there is no way im not going to be able to plan.

@rosiefl haha I’m not sure I would say normal but for this group it’s normal we are all obsessed lol!

@TheNewMrsW omg yes! Let’s do that that would be amazing!

@Bells3032 that’s good that less 4 hours to wait ah I so so hope it goes well for you! M

@CookieMonster3001 ah that’s so exciting! Not about the wedding but potentially earlier. LOL that’s abit like my ”ntnp” as I obviously know when I’m fertile lol but it does feel abit less pressure :) I would say go for it as there are lovely maternity outfits you can buy and tbh it may just keep getting moved :) cannot predict in this ‘new normal’ life. I am still trying to drop some weight but just doing that whilst “ntnp” and see what happens... in my mind telling myself “ntnp” reduces the pressure/ disappointment as the original plan was nov. After November I’ll be like DTD at set times of day etc if it improves chances haha!

@CookieMonster3001 for the sake of a few lbs and a wedding outfit I say go for it! You can still continue to lose the lbs whilst trying and if it does happen straightaway well who cares! I def wouldn't take the wedding into consideration at all if they have started talking about it not happening, there's just no way of knowing what will happen and if there is a second wave over the winter all bets are off. If it does happen and you have a bump you will look lovely anyway, you can get some lovely matty outfits these days!

@CookieMonster3001 I wouldn't wait. You can always buy a new dress if need be and a few lbs isn't really gonna make a massive difference. go for it

Ok I was a bit pissy cos they won't give the results til tomorrow evening....but the instructions just came to make sure he throughly washes his hands and genitals before coming in. omg we laughed and laughed (we get it's a very serious covid measure but still)

Ahh thanks guys!! I think I'm gonna have another chat with OH tonight to make sure he is happy, although he thought we were going to start one month earlier, so don't think he will be bothered!! The dress situation is a bit of a sore spot, because its an Asian wedding, which means I have already brought 3 outfits, and they probably cost me around £6-700, but I suppose worst case scenario I can try get them altered.

And I think you guys are right, I want to lose around 10lbs and I can still do that between now and October. And who are we kidding, I'm probably not gonna get pregnant the first try anyway!

Would be so amazing to announce to everyone around Christmas though!!!

Eeek @CookieMonster3001 that's sooo exciting, would amazing to have a BFP for Christmas 😃 I'm sure you can get the dresses altered, or try to sell them on to cover replacements? Aren't Asian weddings typically large in numbers and involve a lot of the activities that are currently banned for wedding that do go ahead? That makes me think even more that they will opt to postpone, suppose it depends how desperate they are to be married though, no way we were waiting.

@Bells3032 😂😂😂 that's so funny, just hose down his junk with sanitiser 😂

Can I join? I may win the record for being the furthest out but we’re planning to TTC from May next year when we’re due to get married (another corona reschedule!) we were going to have a big wedding with 100+ people but we’ve scaled it right back to around 30 and now having it at home which will be great. We should have been trying for a baby right now (straight after our original date) but I try not to dwell on that too much, otherwise I get a bit sad. It also seems that all my friends are now getting pregnant, and I’m delighted for them but also feel a bit jealous (which is crazy as I’m not even trying yet), but there’s lots of baby chat which is making me even more broody!

My plan is to lose some weight and tone up. I’m about a stone over my ideal weight at the moment (although not technically overweight).
Start taking preconception vitamins in like February (both of us)
Have my coil out in about March / April time.
Anything else I’m missing?

My OH is a few years older and he would start TTC tomorrow if we could! Unfortunately Vegas isn’t open yet...

Can I join?

We are going to start TTC #2 in December. I have a 14 month toddler and both me and hubby have just started taking the conception vitamins. Can’t wait to get started but at the same time I don’t want to wish time away! Hoping to spend the next couple of months enjoying the food/drink I won’t be able to have when pregnant and lose some weight (though that does directly contradict enjoying food and drink so might not go well ha ha!)

Morning peeps I see the new thread and promptly followed...

Think I've got AF on the way today or tomoz after a few days cramping. I'm relieved in a way to start tracking now. 😁

baby dust ✨ for everyone

@TheNewMrsW yep pretty much!! there were 500 people originally invited and she has said if they don't change to guidance to allow at least 100 then there is no point in doing the wedding, which is fair enough!! Feel so bad about the amount of money she has already paid out for the wedding to maybe not even be able to do it at all. Covid sucks!! haha

On another note I have developed 2 new obsessions:

• Balsamic tomatoes and onions on toast
• Watching one born every minute

The 2nd one is making me beyond nervous as well as excited. The two feelings mixed together make me queezy! haha

@Upupupintheair hey there, I feel you on the wedding stuff, our big spring wedding was Covid cancelled, ended up having a small wedding in August! I think I would have ended up really resenting still having it hanging over me and not being able to move forward even those few months drove me crazy! So yeah totally get where you are coming from. Hopefully the time will pass quickly and you are ttc-ing in no time!

@CookieMonster3001 OMG I keep thinking I should start watching one born every minute but I'm too scared 😂🙈

@CookieMonster3001 totally agree with others that the dress can always be altered :) shame that it cost so much but I’m sure there is a way of fixing it seamstresses are amazing! You can defo still try to lose lb whilst ttc that’s my plan :) announcing at Christmas would be amazing!

Wow 500 and down to 100 that’s no easy task. Your poor friend. Based on numbers I would not be surprised if it got pushed back further... maybe your little one could attend if it was later in the year :)

OMGOSH I am obsessed with one born! It’s like a sick obsession though as I watch and so desperately want it to be me but at the same time crossing my legs like dear me it looks painful haha! I’ve been rewatching them all haha! Oo I need to give the toast a try :)

@Bells3032 omgosh the instructions! Not surprised you both laughed :) it’s so nice you can find humour :) it’s like they expect him to use the sanitising wash on it!

@Upupupintheair welcome :) so sorry to hear about your wedding so many in here have had the same! I think you have covered a lot of bases there on the vitamins, lbs and coil out :) can take a while to settle so may be worth having it out a little earlier if you want to know your cycle by May :)

@RandyGiles06 welcome :) that’s so exciting :) haha I know what you mean I’m trying to shift some lbs but can’t bare to give up what I love before I get pregnant haha! wine mostly

@gems05 ah you made it over :) fingers crossed you will be able to track more of a cycle :) hope it’s just a quick af for you :)

Haha. It's good to laugh. It does say mot to use gel and just water though.

Unfortunately due to work commitments the tests have had to be pushed back to tomorrow. Waiting to see if that means we will have to wait til Monday for the results or not