Preconception planners - still planning

[Bells3032]

Hi all. thought i'd make a new thread as the old one getting close to a thousand. Don't forget to rejoin!!

[Curiosity101]

@French2020 Welcome!

I think I was probably similar to you when I fell pregnant with my son. I struggled to really enjoy pregnancy for one reason or another. I also struggled to bond with him whilst pregnant because of my anxiety. Admittedly we did have a lot of issues so I'm probably atypical, but I felt that way long before I could've know I'd have such a rough pregnancy so it wasn't based in logic.

I do think being a bit nervous/apprehensive about pregnancy and giving birth is normal, but not to the point it should completely over shadow your day to day. Personally I'd recommend seeking a couple of counselling sessions if you feel like this is likely to overshadow your day to day life? It might help you to work through some of those anxieties and hopefully end up in a place where you're happy/excited by the idea of pregnancy and birth.

Personally I'm equal parts excited and terrified about the idea of another pregnancy. But I just love DS too much and since having him I can't imagine a family life without two children (DH feels the same). So I've kept in contact with the therapist I had after DS was born and will be keeping on top of my anxieties from the get go.

[Curiosity101]

Morning all - Happy Sunday! Hope everyone is having a nice lazy day so far . DS slept in until 6.50am which is unheard of , although I did have to go in at 5am to tell him it was still the middle of the night... but he listened and went back to sleep.

DH and I have been talking. He has brought up the possibility of a September baby... So we may well be TTC as of next cycle, I've officially left DH in charge of contraception so it's his call.

I'm excited by the idea but I really wanted to lose a few more lbs. Pregnancy is really tough going so although I'm only 1lb over my initial pregnancy weight I really wanted to get lower before conceiving. I think I'll need to double down on my efforts, cut out alcohol completely and just see where my weight ends up. Who knows how long it'll actually take to get a BFP so I could be worrying about a none issue.

How's everyone doing this morning?

[MayDay27]

Morning @Curiosity101 that's exciting! Do you know when your fertile window would be for a September baby? I think from this month I'm also going to cut out the alcohol which is going to be hard to do around Xmas time!! In what ways did you find pregnancy tough the first time? Since it's our first time TTC next cycle I have literally no idea what to expect! I hope I will try and keep up with exercise in some form.

[Curiosity101]

@MayDay27 19th/20th December is likely to be ovulation, so from the 14th onwards I guess. I'll wait and see what DH thinks nearer the time, it's his call. I feel the same as you about drinking, but tbh I think even if there's a chance I conceive around the 19th/20th December I'll still have a few glasses of Prosecco over Christmas Day because my dad has already started asking about whether we're going to have another and I know that a little bit of alcohol wouldn't do any harm so early on. It's just easier all round and I'm a god awful liar... literally no poker face at all.

Disclaimer - some people breeze through pregnancy with no aches, pains or struggles so don't let the next bit worry you!

Personally, I only got to 33+2 and I wasn't exactly huge on delivery day but I was already starting to feel the effort of getting myself up off of the bed or out of a chair. Also turning over in the middle of the night was really difficult. Oh, and having to sleep on your left or right side all the time was tough on my hips cause I'm not naturally a side sleeper. Walking anywhere starts getting tough too. It's basically just a huge strain on all your muscles and joints cause it's effectively putting on loads of weight over a really short period of time. Plus your body releases a load of Relaxin as you get further on in pregnancy, it's important to allow muscles and ligaments to stretch ready for birth, but when you combine that with the extra weight it just makes everything a lot harder. Also, DS was 4lb 11oz when he was born and he did not feel that little in those last few days. My poor ribs and my lungs were definitely starting to feel cramped.

Being fitter (aerobically and muscle wise) and lighter will definitely make pregnancy easier to get through. Oh and not to mention labour, that's pretty physically intensive so being fit and healthy is likely to help that side of things too.

[sunflowersaremyfav93]

Morning @Curiosity101 or I should say afternoon now!
Ah that is SO exciting!!!! I'm literally counting down the days.. 70 days to go I'm getting impatient! I think your weight is fine, you sound like you've got a good plan in place. I'm excited for you. When's your fertile window going to be?

[Curiosity101]

@sunflowersaremyfav93 How're you doing today? We're doing a dash to the shops for some 'essential' Christmas decorations then operation 'decorate the house' is on! 😁

My window should begin on the 14th December. I definitely feel the impatience. It's not a given that we're starting then though. It could still be January. Apart from anything else, if lockdown restrictions allow then we'll have my FIL staying over Christmas so that might put a dampener on things if he arrives early.

[MayDay27]

@Curiosity101 what you've said about pregnancy does sound pretty tough! It's all worth it in the end though! Now that we are quite close to TTC it's pretty much all I'm thinking about!! Does anyone know of any decent podcasts or anything about conceiving to listen to?

[Curiosity101]

@MayDay27 Oh yes! Pregnancy is absolutely worth it! DS is literally the best thing to happen in my life without a question.

I can't recommend any podcasts or anything. One thing I would recommend though is making sure you've got lots of hobbies etc to keep you occupied. One thing I have noticed in my time on these boards is that allowing TTC to take over your thoughts often leads to a lot of stress.

[MayDay27]

@Curiosity101 that sounds very good advice! I think lockdown has made me a little more obsessive than I would normally be as so much has been cancelled. I've been running so I'll keep up with that and just trying to plan nice walks with the OH and the dogs to keep me occupied!

[wrensandrobins]

Well I have just ovulated for the last time without TTC. I have been using natural cycles to track my BBT- every other month I have ovulated on day 17, so I was certain we would know exactly when to Aim for when TTC.
This month it's all gone to pot and my temps went up and down and then up so it's saying I ovulated between day 12 and 17! So not really sure now :)

It's a bit scary being this close. I keep having nightmares about dropping babies and leaving them in shops 🤣

Also really really wanted to be quite a way into my 'overweight' BMI and I am still 2 pounds to lose to leave 'obese' the messages yesterday have strengthened my resolve, I had been starting to think it was too late but even a few pounds more is better than nothing, and if I give up losing weight, I will inevitably start gaining Christmas weight before baby weight!

Back on the healthy regime!

[Curiosity101]

@wrensandrobins I felt very similar to what you've just described. I was hoping to make it into 'healthy' before conceiving which was my target weight. But I'm taking an every little helps approach now.

Both me and DH are getting back to losing weight now. We said similar to you this morning that we need to allow for the Christmas weight gain 😂. Blueberries and Greek yogurt for breakfast this morning, banana pancakes (just egg and Nannan) for lunch... Then a sensible relatively low carb dinner tonight, possibly bolognese.

When are you due to ovulate next month @wrensandrobins? Sounds like you're on a similar cycle to me...

[wrensandrobins]

@Curiosity101

I'm currently predicted to ovulate on the 20th of December, which I'm happy with as last week it was showing the week of Christmas and with going to my partners mum and dads, it was going to be a no go month haha hopefully it doesn't move, I guess it will depend when my period comes!

[wrensandrobins]

@French2020

Just reading back I'm completely the same, very anxious about having a miscarriage even though there is no reason I am likely to, also really anxious about my job, I have been in it a year now but I feel like they waited a long time for me (I had a 6 months notice period) it feels like I am betraying them by TTC and I love my job.

[wrensandrobins]

@French2020 hit send too early.

Also my relationship with my partner, I worry it will change how happy we are, or put a strain on his mental health, although we both want a baby he isn't as excited as me and I worry he is doing it for me, although he says he isn't!

[Curiosity101]

@wrensandrobins Yep, same as me. Predicted 20th but I suspect either 19th or 20th are possible.

[Curiosity101]

Haha, just noticed my typo earlier. I'll not be having egg and Nannan pancakes for lunch 😂🤣

That should read egg and Banana. They're pretty much Banana omelettes shaped like little pancakes but I'm a big fan as they're sweet, warm and reasonably filling.

[sunflowersaremyfav93]

@Curiosity101 Did you get all your Christmas stuff up? I love it, my fav time of year. I'm doing good, waiting for a referral for private for these scans and what not. Done all my Christmas shopping (omg so expensive) and I am absolutely now ready to get this year over and done with!

I have a question as well... so on your apps (I use Flo) what counts as last day of your period? I'm not wearing a pad today but there is some brown residue (is that the right word) so does this still count as me being on? Or should I log my app as last day being the last day?

[Curiosity101]

@sunflowersaremyfav93 How have you done all of your Christmas shopping already?!?! That's some next level organisation there!

Yes we did put our decorations up. Our house is lovely and Christmasy now. DS (15 months) even tried to help put baubles on the tree. He's going through a really cute phase at the moment where he's trying to copy everything we're doing. 🥰😍 He did also take some of the baubles off the tree though... So needs a bit more practice ☺️

I use FF and I'd probably not have registered what you've described in it. If I did I'd register it as spotting so it wouldn't count. Having said that though, apps normally only care about when your period starts and aren't bothered about when it finishes?

[sunflowersaremyfav93]

@Curiosity101 I had absolutely nothing sorted on Friday morning, not even one thing and I went into panic mode and got it all done, I really did try to use small businesses where possible as well but now I need to wrap it all.
Aw that sounds sooo sweet that he was trying to help you, sounds like a nice age and it'll be a nice age gap as well by the time you've carried and given birthday to baby number two.

That's a really good point about them not really registering when you finish, I always wondered if it did matter but I've just had a ply with the dates on my app and it didn't change anything. ☺️

Have you and your DH spoken anymore about when you'll start? Are you kind of waiting for him to give the green light?

Ladies I started another thread too but not sure how to link it on here, I think I tagged you all.

[Curiosity101]

@sunflowersaremyfav93 I keep saying I want to do more of my shopping locally. Amazon is just so damn convenient though. What sorts of things did you buy (if you don't mind me prying)? I love wrapping presents, I tend to only do a few per session though. My back isn't as good as it once was .

We've not talked about it more since but I definitely get the impression we'll be unofficially trying as of next cycle.

[Curiosity101]

@sunflowersaremyfav93 I looked up and down the conception board and I don't see a new thread . Also, I can't see an email notification or anything in my inbox.

[sunflowersaremyfav93]

There's an Instagram page called the happy newspaper on Instagram so I got somebody a subscription to that, I also found some nice pyjamas from a small business. Then I went on Zara for my niece.. hmm I got some Emma Bridgwater mugs personalised, bit a small business but so cute. A modern calligraphy workshop from my friend who runs a small business. Then I got some earrings for bf's mum, some Ugg slippers for my mum. I found a really nice Mary Poppins art print on Etsy as well. If I had thought about it more in advance there's a page on Insta I think her name is Mok illustrations and she does really cool portraits. It's so hard though because it's convenient to buy at big businesses isn't it! All very expensive though now, my spare room is full of Christmas gifts.

I'm so excited that you're starting next cycle! I literally cannot wait to start, are you excited?

Hmm I'll try figure out how to copy and paste a link 😂

[sunflowersaremyfav93]

I hope this works.. here's the new thread when we get to 1000. 🥰

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/4082925-pre-conception-planning-and-trying

[Curiosity101]

@sunflowersaremyfav93 They sound like amazing gifts. Funnily enough, I almost bought a subscription to the happy newspaper for someone!

And I'm not sure. I am excited, but it's full of a lot of apprehension for me. I didn't make the best pregnant lady even before the complications started. I'm a little too independent and strong-willed. Having to stop, ask for help and let people do things for me is really tough. And surrendering myself entirely to fate is something I struggle with. Not to mention trying to cope with nausea and exhaustion during the first trimester whilst looking after DS.

Technically there is a very very very small chance I could get pregnant this cycle. It happened at 1DPO and I reckon it was at least 36 hours after ovulation so I'm not expecting anything. But I guess it made it all feel a bit more real?

[Curiosity101]

@sunflowersaremyfav93 Oh and I see the link to the new thread.Thanks for setting that up!