oldgimmer maybe up the stick, wanna guess who?

[upthestickornot]

right, here are the clues

I 'm 40 in 3 weeks, have planned monumental piss-up, have just got my life where I want it, have bought lots of new undies, a half case of good wine and a bottle of bombay sapphire and a box of 40 tampax. Am 3 days late and belching like a warthog and am on two lots of medication that one should not really be taking when preggo and have been drinking and a little b it of smoking and not a tablet of folic acid or a leafy green vegetable for many moons.

Of course I know that if one lets a boy put his winkie near your front bottom then there is a risk one could be preggo, however it's not like that happens every day.

will do test on the weekend and if negative get appointment for coil fitting PDQ I can tell you.

what makes you thing I'm nearly 40?

what a farkin liberti

Take a test then, michael. There's a less than one percent chance you're pregnant. Certainly a lot slighter than if you were using nothing at all. Thing I don't like about sterlisiation is that increased risk of ectopic, but there's risks with every form of contraception and that one's on the whole pretty darn effective.

expat, not too worried just yet..have had a pretty stressful couple of weeks and that has affected my cycle in the past.

Wandering trolley?

Sorry for any offense caused, but in your profile you do say you "are in the prime of life". So I assumed...

Also, too, and this is aimed at no one in particular, 'Oh, we don't want any more children' and then not use contraception? I mean, DUH!

JUST DO A FARKING TEST

If it is + then go to your GP and discuss your concerns/options.

It's not bloody rocket science.

It's me

Here, here, NDP!

Attention-seekers will be prosecuted.

Yeah, yeah. You're only about 20, IGW.

Nice try though

Well then go wee on a stick, Walrus! Drink a big glass of water!

"Only about 20"

I think I lurve you NDP

(btw, it;s not me really. Just a kidding)

IGW isn't nearly 40!

"Wanna guess who"

No

Either tell me who you are and whether you are in fact pregnant, or don't bother. Who really cares whether 'anonymous' might be pregnant ?

You aren't that much more than that IGW, I'll wager.

'Front bottom' and 'preggo'.

No, I don't want to guess who.

IGW is no more than 28.

God it is irritating me. Who was it who recently said they were nearly 40? Where is that "Who are you?" thread?

And boys with 'winkies'.

IF YOU DON'T WANT ANY MORE CHILDREN, USE CONTRACEPTION. IF YOU REALLY DON'T WANT ANYMORE, HAVE YOURSELF STERILISED AND YOUR PARTNER GET THE SNIP.

That should solve the problem.

The front bottom bit was said tongue in cheek, I'll wager.

a hair's breadth, NDP, a hair;s breadth.

Tongue in cheek is meant to be funny, though.

'Front bottom' isn't.

OK, well-known 39 year olds include:

Mhamai
RGPargy
NotAnOtter.

Remember that poster HughJars? I loved that nickname!

Oi, you bastards Will you stop with the 'ooh, she's not that old comments ....'

was he a relative of HughJanus?