TTC after miscarriage - January 2020

[MilsCookie]

Hello all (and late Merry Christmas!)

Looking for TTC buddies in a similar situation! 👋

In September I accidentally became pregnant. We had planned to begin TTC in Jan 2020 anyway, so we were really excited. Sadly, at my 12 week scan on 25th Nov, I found out I had had a missed miscarriage and the baby had stopped growing at about 9 weeks. The week that followed was one of the most traumatic in my life, having failed medical management and then an ERPC. All this happened whilst I was in another country.

Since then my recovery has been okay but all I can think about is wanting to be pregnant again and have been hoping and praying that my period returns soon so that we can officially start trying.

This morning I have had brown discharge and cramping, so it does feel like AF is on the way. So I guess I am going to count today as CD1 of my first official TTC cycle?

I wondered if anyone had been through anything similar and if so I am so sorry for your loss and what you had to go through. It really is a horrendous time. 💐

Anyone want to join me? 💕

My DP knows enough to know when he’s on duty for SMEP! But is also in the ignorance is bliss camp. Thinks that overthinking leads to stress but he’s not the one with twinges and sore boobs that could mean anything or checking for ovulation all the time. We do talk if I’m feeling really down but not about gory details so much. I’m drip feeding him info about what things mean as the months go by.
I guess one of us has to stay calm!

@Cruiser1 I’m the same with the symptoms, get sore boobs and dizziness and nausea during TWW and I remember none of this from before TTC!

Hi,
Just looking for some support. I found out I was pregnant on Friday and started bleeding Tuesday evening. Not enough to fill a pad and a few small clots started this morning. It mainly when I wipe and bright red. Apart from a really bad backache Tuesday evening and a bit of abdo cramping ( lasted about 2 hours on/ off) I have no pain. Gp sent me for a scan yesterday morning (should have been 5+3). But they didn’t scan me because they said the pregnancy test they did was negative. When I explained I was still having headaches and nausea ( still am nausea this morning too) they said well you shouldn’t be having those symptoms with a negative test And told me to re-check with their test ( which they gave me) in 1 week. Has anyone heard of this? I had a mmc 10 months ago and they told me to check for a negative 2 weeks after bleeding stopped. Many thanks

@MilsCookie well my temps didnt increase this morning and not getting positive OPKs so assume that I havent ovulated yet....... gah it's so frustrating just want my cycle to be back to how it was

@Cruiser1 what was your temp this morning? I love and hate temping at the same time - I find I get less sleep as I am waiting to find out what my temp is!!

And yep would definitely regret not DTD over doing it. But have to admit it is turning into a bit of a chore and a routine these days 😬

@TerribleImagination fingers crossed those twinges are implantation!!!

I genuinely feel like I could work in my local fertility clinic and EPU now after my knowledge of everything haha!

Hi @MilsCookie
I had a mmc 10 months ago. Mine was pretty straight forward in that I didn’t need medication or surgery it all passed naturally within 2 weeks. I’m currently going through a second miscarriage which I have just posted about on here.
I like you was desperate to get pregnant again and was all I could think of. It took us till a week ago to get our first positive. I’m not really sure how I feel/felt about it I was numb and just kept thinking the worst ( which is now happening). Right now I can think of nothing worse than being pregnant again. For me these 2 losses have taken energy physically/ emotionally and I just don’t know if I have the energy to put myself through it all again. I thin’ you need to make sure you have fully recovered from the mmc ( mine was pretty traumatic) and left me in quite a depression. Like you I was so fixated on just being pregnant again would solve it all. Unfortunately I don’t think it works like that. This is just my opinion. I guess I just say make sure you are fully recovered and I wish you all the best

@Confused38 so you did a test on Friday and then it was negative a few days later. That sounds like a very early loss. Happened to
Me three times before I had my dc.

**I genuinely feel like I could work in my local fertility clinic and EPU now after my knowledge of everything haha!

@Anny27 that made me laugh. We could probably all work there tbh
I was even joking with DP that i would open up my own ultrasound business and offer membership for people like me who need cnstant reassurance!!!

@TerribleImagination hope those cramps are a good sign
I also had them when pregnant! Fingers crossed!

Nothing on my side just super hungry but been that way for 30 years so....

@Confused38 sorry to hear. It does sound like early loss...
Have you tried doing another pregnancy test with your FMU? As i assume at the EPU was not early morning?

@Confused38 sorry that you are going through your 2nd loss:( look after yourself xx we waited for my first period to arrive (6 weeks after surgery) before trying again and it definitley helped me to heal

@Michette I'd certainly sign up to ultrasound membership - especially if it included a continuous supply of pregnancy tests as well 🤣🤣

@toomanyleggings
Hi, yes I got a positive on Friday third after being a week late for my period. It said I was 1-2 weeks. 4 days later I started a bleed and the test the epu did said it was negative. I’m still having symptoms though. Is this normal?

@michette correct the EPU test was done at 1:30 in afternoon. I have some more tests arriving today so will do one when it arrives.

@Anny27 thank you. We waited for 2 months after mmc last year then started trying again.

Also sorry, my mind is a bit behind. What counts as a early loss?

@Confused38 those clear blue digital pick up very low levels of hormones. I had 1-2 on one on New Year's Day 2013 ( I remember thinking what a nice day to find out you're pregnant) two days later I tested again and 'not pregnant' came up. I didn't use them again before I had my dc. I used only the line tests and then I could see how strong the line was before I got too excited.
I say early losses but other people call them chemical pregnancies but I think it's a bit of a clinical term. It's when you fertilise an egg but it doesn't implant or doesn't properly implant. It releases a very small amount of hcg, enough to trigger a positive test but the pregnancy doesn't progress so test turns negative a few days later and the egg is reabsorbed and she'd with your normal period. It's very disappointing when you're trying for a baby

@toomanyleggings
I see. Thank you

@toomanyleggings hello and welcome. Really wanted to send a wave and a virtual hug. Really sorry to read about your loss. This is a good place to help the healing, it's open season for all the grief and all the joys and everything in-between. As well as the ubiquitous cervical mucus discussions as well 🤔.

Its never to early for a cervical mucus joke surly?

God this week is just going so unbelievably slowly, I can finally start the dance of the baby tonight as the Mr returns. I'm obviously now freaking out he'll have some kind of accident which will render his penis useless in some way. My mind is cracked officially but I'll sex my way to positivity o we the next few days.

✨🌈👣 To every amazing one of you , just a week and we might get our first positive test on here!

@Confused38 I’m so sorry to hear what you’re going through. If you’re still having symptoms this may just because your hormones are a little up and down and your body is processing your loss. It does sound like a chemical pregnancy from what you have said. Rest lots and take a bit of time for yourself xx

Afternoon All,

Truly Sorry To Hear All Your Stories
I Miscarried My 5th Child On Boxing Day , I Was 11 Weeks And Its Been A Struggle. I Had To Have Surgical Management In Theatre Which I Was Expecting When I Was In The Ambulance To The Hospital As I Haemorrhage After All My Labours.

Any Ideas On When I'll Be Fertile Again Or How To Work Out When I'll Be Ovulating Again Before A First Period.

Good Luck To You All

@Confused38 I’m so sorry you find yourself here 😢 I miscarried at 5+3 a few weeks back and it’s just such an awful shock isn’t it.
Sending love ❤️

@ChampooPapi sorry I have just read back further (I get so lost in this thread!) and saw your message. Yes you can be my spirit animal haha - can I be yours?! I love your messages on here - you make me laugh! This week really is going soooo slowly. I just want to ovulate already! Only on CD15 but it must be approaching! Just haven't had any EWCM yet... oh the joys!!

Hey @Confused38, I'm so sorry to hear of your losses. It must be extra hard having been trying again for the last 10 months. Sending a big virtual hug your way! hug I know what you mean and to make sure you're properly recovered... I have had one period since my surgery and mentally and physically I do feel ready to try again. Being pregnant is literally all I can think about at the moment! But as I'm just back from travelling DP and I are in the position of looking for new jobs and moving house so we've got a lot to occupy our minds which is a good thing! Really hope you're okay lovely. Feel free to vent on here! xx

I am literally so excited for the first BFP on this group... I am sending everyone ALL the baby dust I can muster and hoping it's just one BFP after the other this year! Roll on the January, then Februrary, March and so on BFPs! xxx

@Anny27 hmmm that's interesting as the ones you showed us on here looked quite dark so almost about to ovulate? Is that what you thought? I have never done them before so tbf I have no idea what I'm talking about! how long is your cycle usually?

Hey ladies can't keep up with this thread its booming!
I'm wanting to ask a TMI question lol!!
Obviously it's been ovulation week... do you ladies have a certain position when trying? I've been spooning quite a lot and I know it sounds crazy but this process makes you crazy!! But I panic incase the sperm doesn't reach the egg if I don't do it missionary...but we prefer to spoon as it's quicker.
I know it sounds so stupid but I'm willing to try anything to make it happen! I've ordered some wheatgrass to drink apparently this is amazing for fertility and egg quality xxx

@Michette

I am extremely tired but I'm not sure if this is just my hormones/being back at work/the January blues but I dont remember being this tired early on last time as my BFP came as a surprise.

I've also had tingly nipples and only ever had them in the TWW last time but then I did have them after my MC so I feel like again just hormones?

This TWW is making me miserable as I'm sorry to say ladies, I just feel hopeless. I'm not sure I can do this every month until BFP.

I just want to be pregnant again. I feel like someone is saying to me 'You dont deserve to be a Mum.' 😥

@AlviesMam love it! I think spooning is fine... the time we conceived we had done doggy 🙈 Sorry if the next bit is TMI... (we’re all friends here aren’t we?!) but when he came it felt like he was really deep and I literally remember his sperm shot out so fast cos I felt it 🙈

I have no idea if that is why I became pregnant but we’re gonna do it like that again this month around ovulation day!! 🙊

@AlviesMam The time I conceived before, he was behind. And we usually end up that way! Soz for the TMI 🤣🙈🙈 xx

@AlviesMam we just cover all of them around ovulation. But avoiding me on top as gravity is against us. But we also did it the month i got pregnant so not sure it makes a difference.
I just make sure i lay down after...

But agreed doggy allow to go deeper....

@stephyRose sorry to hear you are feeling that way. It’s a tough process and we really need to be patient and try to live our lives normally but i totally understand your feeling. Sometimes i also think life is basically telling me “nope not you sorry” and i get worried I’ll never have a kid.
I had a termination when i was 17 at 7 weeks and last month i MC at 7 weeks so sometimes i think it payback... i know it doesn’t work like this but cant hell get these thoughts and feel guilty