TTC after miscarriage - January 2020

[MilsCookie]

Hello all (and late Merry Christmas!)

Looking for TTC buddies in a similar situation! 👋

In September I accidentally became pregnant. We had planned to begin TTC in Jan 2020 anyway, so we were really excited. Sadly, at my 12 week scan on 25th Nov, I found out I had had a missed miscarriage and the baby had stopped growing at about 9 weeks. The week that followed was one of the most traumatic in my life, having failed medical management and then an ERPC. All this happened whilst I was in another country.

Since then my recovery has been okay but all I can think about is wanting to be pregnant again and have been hoping and praying that my period returns soon so that we can officially start trying.

This morning I have had brown discharge and cramping, so it does feel like AF is on the way. So I guess I am going to count today as CD1 of my first official TTC cycle?

I wondered if anyone had been through anything similar and if so I am so sorry for your loss and what you had to go through. It really is a horrendous time. 💐

Anyone want to join me? 💕

@mlax I definitely think in your circumstances it really is ok, as well as healthy, to be able to say 'fuck them those bastards'. It just feels so good saying it doesn't it? 😏 You are given by me at least a TOTAL free pass because of what you have been through when it comes to the subject of a particular couple who every time you think about their pregnancy you just feel absolutely gutted. I hear you girl! And when it's family I mean really! You must have been like 'your bloody joking?!'

I feel like if one can't occasionally kind of beat someone with a virtual therapy foam bat on this thread then where can you do it 😆

On the test side of things I think just not having them in the house is the only way really, the temptation is gone so cold turkey kind of thing. Once the cycle is broken of testing early it does get easier as well because it's not part of the routine of things any more. It is dam hard though, it's another focus and feels a proactive thing to do but it can be counterproductive that's for sure.

@mlax the addiction is real! I don’t even want to add up how much I’ve spent on sticks to pee on! Hopefully it’s not long until it’s the last time we all pay out to pee on a stick

Usually I get a very defined LH peak the top two were taken this morning (before 10am) and the bottom 2 were taken this evening (after 6.30pm)

Do you think I could have got the LH peak surgery between them and perhaps not have caught it on the OPKs? I guess we will find out when j temp in the morning but just wondering whether we should DTD tonight if I have ovulated

Will reply to all the other messages when I have had a chance to read but just need some advice!

Surge* not surgery 🙈 basically the top two were nearly positive so wondering whether my positive might have happened during the day and now LH has reduced if inhav ovulated?

I’m also after advice on OPK. Haven’t done it before as last time I went by Flo App but thought I’d try as not sure if cycle has gone back to norm since the MC so ordered some from Amazon.

Just wondering how often a day you ladies test and what time of the day?

Hi all, sorry I can't keep up with this thread at the minute 🙈 having a busy week which has been a nice distraction.

@milscookie I don't discuss it at any length with my husband. He's very much in the 'ignorance is bliss' camp whereas I'm more 'knowledge is power' and have googled the life out of everything. I genuinely think I know enough about conception and miscarriage to write a book 😂 my husband thinks I'm driving myself slightly mad and it's causing me to overthink everything (which the rational part of me knows he IS right but I'm not feeling too rational at the minute!!). So now I just don't say too much to him. He regularly asks me what I'm googling now or if I'm on Mumsnet again 😂.

Good luck to you all in your fertile week or TWW 🤗

Oh and it probably doesn't help that I've rationed his alcohol 😂 he is on board with anything that will help but he does enjoy a beer on his rest days from work and I've told him he needs to cut down as part of our healthy regime because I've read somewhere that alcohol may effect the dna in sperm and lead to miscarriage (told you too much googling!). He's on board but I keep getting a few raised eyebrows from him 😂

please tell me I'm not the only one?!

Yes @Anny27 DTD just in case! Xx

Hi Ladies, can I join please?
Had an MMC in Dec, found out on 10th December- I was around 10 weeks and the baby only measured 6 weeks with no heart beat. This was after we saw a perfectly growing baby and heartbeat at 6 weeks!!I opted for surgical management as I wasn’t bleeding and it was done on 18th Dec. I am absolutely devastated, the last few weeks have been very difficult. I have still not emotionally recovered completely but trying to stay positive and hoping to start TTC again soon. We have decided to wait for 1 period before trying. Got BFN last week, so hopefully period will come in the next few weeks and will start our ttc journey again!!
So sorry to hear about all your losses.
Wishing a year of BFPs and healthy pregnancies to everyone.. xx

@disneymummysince2010 we DTD just incase so 🤞🤞 just before I spotted some EWCM as well so even if I dont OV tomorrow, hopefully it means soon 🙌

@GoldenBauble totally I think DH thinks I am psycho constantly asking him if he thinks an LH test is positive and reminding him that we need to DTD haha. We arent big drinkers but I have been reminding him when we go out to limit the alcohol!

@ELM7 I take them twice a day around fertile week, once in morning and once early evening:)

@MilsCookie yep DTD every day sounds like a good plan! We have been doing every other day untill yesterday and now we are doing every day hopefully! Sometimes DH takes some convincing when usually it's me that takes some convincing haha!

@ChampooPapi @AlviesMam yes hopefully!!! I am genuinely really excited to see who will get their bfp this month on the thread! I am the same when someone gets their bfp it gives me so much hope and really brightens the day! Ooh glad DH will be home soon and the DTD can commence haha

@StephyRose yep it gets exhausting after a while! Every other day is usually fine for us but when it gets near ov and I want to do every day it can get a.bit much haha! Hope you managed to catch this month 🤞🤞

Annie0425

I can't keep up with who said what, sorry, but having a safe space to say the things we can't say IRL is a great idea.

I should be 8 months pregnant, my due date for the pregnancy I miscarried is coming up next month. It's going to be incredibly hard, especially if I'm not pregnant again, and it's not fair, dammit!!!

My fertile window is due to start on Sunday. DH knows I have done a lot of research into ovulation/conception, and for a couple of months we used avoiding the fertile window as contraception, but we don't discuss it much in detail. Partly because it kills the 'magic' a bit!

@FireflyGirl it's hard isn't it? The consultant told me my twins would have been delivered by 34 weeks. 34 weeks is 25th Jan, my brother's birthday. My girls would have been born this month.

I'm bloody symptom spotting. In both my pregnancies I had really vivid dreams prior to taking a test. I haven't really dreamt for a long time. Last night I had 2 really vivid, clear as day dreams, ones where I woke up crying. It could be just that my brain is in overdrive after returning to work, but can't help but wonder.

@ChampooPapi honestly, when she did tell me I genuinely said 'are you fucking joking' as it was a total shock and I wasn't expecting it so soon after. I apologised a few hours later as I was probably a bit nasty but I can't hold back.

I only have 1 test left in the house now which I'll use if I have missed my AF next week. Fingers crossed 🤞

@FireflyGirl that is absolutely Sh*t ..... I would be the very same if I were you! It’s so not fair!

@Anny27...... I’d go for it just Incase! I think you only regret the deed you didn’t do 😂😂 when TTC of course lol
For me it gets a bit tiring .... I would not normally be looking for sex on a Tuesday evening when I’m exhausted and up at 6am but sure here we are 😣😂 but then if I skip it il over think it later and regret not doing the sex 😂

Oh how this process turns me a little (more) whacky 🤗😝😂

@Ejb86 I also had really weird, vivid dreams just before I got my BFP in October. Fingers crossed for you!!! 😃✨👣🎇

“He regularly asks me what I'm googling now or if I'm on Mumsnet again 😂.”

^^ @GoldenBauble this made me laugh out loud 😂 - do we have the same DP? They sound exactly the same - mine is definitely ‘ignorance is bliss’ and I’m ‘knowledge is power’ - when it comes to anything to do with my body particularly haha! Google is like my best friend (except we fall out when it doesn’t give me the answers I want 😂) I haven’t had to ration his alcohol cos he doesn’t really drink very much but I do have to keep reminding him to take his vitamins! 🙈

Welcome @Annie0425 hope you’re doing okay lovely. Your experience sounds very similar to mine and just nothing can prepare you for the shock and heartbreak you feel. For yours to happen just before Christmas as well you poor thing. Sending lots of virtual hugs!! Hopefully we can support you here 🤗

@Anny27 what did your opk look like this morning? Fingers crossed you’ve ovulated or you’re close!! 🤞 xx

Can I join in? I found out that baby had stopped growing at 7.5 weeks a few days after Christmas. This was after seeing a heartbeat on Christmas Eve. I had an erpc at 9 weeks as nothing was happening. I'd been very nervous all along but it still came as a massive shock and I've been crying most nights. Husband tries to be understanding but don't think he gets it. I do have a gorgeous dc so I know I'm lucky but I'm
Desperate for a brother or sister. I'm not sure how dh will feel about trying I'm actually nervous about broaching it with him. I'm still on heparin injections which I didn't know you had to have following a surgically managed miscarriage and antibiotics for a suspected infection. I'm not sure I'll ovulate any time soon but I've bought some sticks to see although I think pregnancy hormones can effect them so might have to just look out for the usual stitch in the side

@MilsCookie @GoldenBauble mine is the same. He knows what i an doing but keep asking if it’s “mumsnet again”. He also makes jokes about climbing ranks in the mumsnet community lol
Tbh he makes fun of me because every night i say something like “so i googled today....”
But he also does a lot of googling and is as into this as i am...

It makes things easier but also makes it harder when it’s bad news...

I am trying to symptom spot and keep doing opk in the hope of seeing some progression as last time it’s how i found out i was pregnant with positive opk few days before AF due

Anyone got symptoms yet????

@toomanyleggings i was also on antibiotics after my MC for infection and still ovulated...
I just stopped them after ovulation on Monday just to make sure it doesn’t interfere in case it was successful...
But tbh now i am a bit worried that i should have done the full 10 days instead of 7.
Good luck to you!
The best thing is to really talk with your DH and say how you feel, perhaps he wants the same thing

I’ve felt crampy the past couple of days, and today have been getting some short sharp Uterus pains... Trying to not over analyse 🙈 but I know I felt crampy earlier than usual the month I fell pregnant before... but very aware my mind / body could be playing nasty tricks on me!!

I’m day 27 since miscarriage bleeding started and I reckon either 7 or 8DPO, based on when I think I most likely ovulated. I reckon AF is probably due in a week... but planning on holding off testing until the end of the month if it doesn’t show!

Hopefully this time next week we have a few positives from people , including me hopefully!

Hi Ladies 👋🏼

@toomanyleggings you sound just heartbroken, I’m so sorry for your loss! I’m a bit numb.... I just don’t want to cry anymore but when I start I can’t stop and then I just get a headache and a puffy face 😥

Symptom spotting - I’m bloated and exhausted! Iv had a bit of a headache the last 2 days. Also a bit of nausea but mild.
I don’t think I am pregnant to be honest, i think I’m clutching at straws! 💔

For me in the past increased progesterone has mimicked pregnancy symptoms ..... it’s cruel 😭

@Cruiser1 Oh I get that every month too, but waaay worse since I started TTC, which is mean 🤣 I get proper strong nausea and fatigue and everything. It’s such a pain isn’t it?

@Cruiser1 yes but I remember thinking when they were walking me down to theatre about how many women must have done the same walk with no beautiful dc at home or with a much more developed pregnancy. I think motherhood is such a difficult journey for a lot of people. It's nice that there are women here talking to each other