TTC after miscarriage - January 2020

[MilsCookie]

Hello all (and late Merry Christmas!)

Looking for TTC buddies in a similar situation! 👋

In September I accidentally became pregnant. We had planned to begin TTC in Jan 2020 anyway, so we were really excited. Sadly, at my 12 week scan on 25th Nov, I found out I had had a missed miscarriage and the baby had stopped growing at about 9 weeks. The week that followed was one of the most traumatic in my life, having failed medical management and then an ERPC. All this happened whilst I was in another country.

Since then my recovery has been okay but all I can think about is wanting to be pregnant again and have been hoping and praying that my period returns soon so that we can officially start trying.

This morning I have had brown discharge and cramping, so it does feel like AF is on the way. So I guess I am going to count today as CD1 of my first official TTC cycle?

I wondered if anyone had been through anything similar and if so I am so sorry for your loss and what you had to go through. It really is a horrendous time. 💐

Anyone want to join me? 💕

I'm on CD3, but now we've decided to start trying this month I'm impatient to get going.

We've had a lot of success with SMEP, and as I have short cycles (23 days pre-MC, 25 days after), I've been pretty accurate at predicting ovulation so no need to temp or use OPKs at the moment.

I can't say I've ever really noticed EWCM at ovulation, but I don't have a lot of discharge generally. It's a good thing we're all friends on here, isn't it

@GemLou88, as ELM7 said, some days you handle it but others you hide in the stationary cupboard don't. You just have to get through it your own way, but feel free to let it all out on here because most of us will be feeling the same!

Hi @Sparkl, my cycles have been slightly longer since MC, but still relatively short, and I only ovulate a day or two later.

@Honolulu1 have you tried booking a holiday? Getting crazy busy at work? Those were the only things that distracted me during the 2WW!

Welcome @Pancakes26. Some phones automatically translate the abbreviations (my work one does), otherwise there's a list somewhere, I'll see if I can find it for you. If you're not sure, just ask.

There's Doing The Deed (DTD), and then I've used 2 week wait (2ww), miscarriage (MC), Egg White Cervical Mucus (EWCM), Calendar Day 3 (CD3), Sperm Meets Egg Plan (SMEP)

@Bath3020 glad you got to speak to someone who sounds like she knows where you're coming from emotionally. OPKs can pick up and react to pregnancy hormones, so you might be better waiting for a negative HPT before using them.

@Pancakes26 abbreviations

Hi gals, some 2020 baby dust to you all! And some questions that I’ve been wondering about if you have any input at all for me? Like all of you, I’m looking back at my pregnancy and wondering what I could have done differently and what I could do this time around. I know I shouldn’t be beating myself up though. But, should I have exercised? I run anyway, but should I have stopped? And should I stop exercising now I’m TTC again? Or just stop during the TWW? I really don’t know. Is there anything else I can or should be doing in this cycle, a paper from using OPK to help me get pregnant? Any advice at all is so appreciated.

Thanks @Honolulu1 and all you ladies on the thread, it’s good to know others are going through the same thing even though I wouldn’t wish it on anyone.
I’m back to CD1 today but since MC had 22, 26 and just now had 29 day cycle. But I only got peak OPK on CD20 leaving only 8/9 dats for luteal phase.
So I’ve gone from googling pregnancy symptoms to googling luteal phase defects. The googling is definitely making me more stressed but then what if I miss some symptom that would explain what’s going on.
I find getting out and walking good for distraction, with a podcast or something.

@Pancakes26 I was thinking about acupuncture too, would definitely be interested to try it. Tbh would try anything right now.

Planning on trying a few supplements to bring OV forward.

@GemLou88 it’s so hard, I’ve two friends due when I would have been. But even seeing the baby boards here sets me off on bad days.

The lady who did my scan and broke the news to me told me she miscarried her first pregnancy, gave me a massive hug and recommended that I get acupuncture with a lady she had gone to in my home town after she miscarried (subsequently had two lovely children). I’m going on Friday morning.

I had acupuncture before for nerve damage in my boob of all places (I wish as a result of a boob job but unfortunately not 😩) and it definitely helped me. The guy who did my acupuncture that time had all these thank you cards in the reception with parents and babies on them and I asked, at the time, and he said they were all the ladies (and gents) he had done fertility acupuncture for.

It’s worth a try anyway so I’m going to give it a go!

Other than pregnacare and the likes what other supplements do people suggest is it mainly an omega 3 or anything I’m missing?

Feeling so down today. I’m about 4dpo I think! But I just feel hopeless. I’m getting lots of aches on my left side where my tube was removed in October. So stupidly have been googling all sorts of rubbish and read that after an ectopic the opposite tube only catches the egg 15% of the time. So if I have ovulated from my left ovary the chances are slim that my tube will catch it. I get myself so excited every month and think surely this will be my month and 85% of the time it’s unlikely to be! Feeling sorry for myself tonight! Sorry for rambling 😩

Sending virtual hugs @DisneyMummySince2010

Try to stay away from Google! You are doing your best and you caught ovulation which already a good start !!

@DisneyMummySince2010 I defo don’t want for you to go to bed upset. I am the last person from positive thinking. Thank god for my husband who keeps the positivity going in my house.

I have two close friends who both had ectopic pregnancies.

Friend 1 : 27 very healthy Girl but had first pregnancy as an ectopic one. She tried again and another ectopic pregnancy god love her so she has both tubes removed. Now in that case she needed ivf just because of the tubes issue and after her second ivf she had him - gorgeous baby boy.

My second friend a fertility nurse previously lost a Fallopian tube and panicked knowing all the cases that come into her. She had an iui and it took first time. Iui not ivf!! iui is a daily quick procedure the docs time depending on OV She got pregnant on one iui procedure.

I’m so conscious not to give you false hope Whatsoever but I definitely think these stories bring hope and a nice sense of positivity that you need tonight to sleep better maybe. I hope so anyway and I am thinking of you because I go into these fits ofdispair as well. Good night pal hope you sleep xx

@Bath2020 I was reading about Vitamin C and B for lengthening LP and selenium which you can get in Brazil nuts. But I also don’t want to go mucking about and cause unintended changes to cycle. I had been taking pregnacare conception before MC and was reading about people who OV was delayed by that so 🤷‍♀️

Am going to try and find an acupuncturist and see what’s involved.

@DisneyMummySince2010 I’m so sorry you’re feeling like this. Had a pretty hopeless day too but tomorrow (today!) is a new day! The best thing is to talk and talk some more.

@Brodijen the midwives were so kind during my MC, I was asking all the questions you were and they said you should see the kinds of things that people do and go on to have healthy babies, and then you can do everything right and it doesn’t work, I think there’s very little we can do on the ‘outside’ that can really make a difference. I know you’ve probably heard all that before and totally understand wanting to do things differently. But try not to be hard on yourself

Thank you for your lovely messages and stories 💕 and your support too!

TWW is starting to feel like forever... 1dpo

Anyone feeling the same?

I will be testing on 18th Jan but will be abroad for the weekend so if it turns out negative at least i am having a good time !

Who else is testing around this date??

My fertile window won't start until Sunday, so I won't be testing until the very end of the month. I'll be keeping my fingers crossed to see lots of BFPs before then!

@DisneyMummySince2010 how are you doing this morning?

@Brodijen most of the time, it's just bad luck. Nothing you have done. If you ever read up on all the things that need to be just right for an egg to be fertilised and grow into a baby, it's astounding we ever reproduce, but if the conditions are right they're very resilient! You will just stress yourself out if you second guess everything. Concentrate on taking care of yourself

Thanks for all your messages of support. And sorry to those also having bad days. Glad we are all here for each other xx

@Michette I reckon AF is due around the 15th/16th January (hard to know as I haven’t had a full cycle yet since the miscarriage - I’m going off when I think I ovulated) but I'm gonna hold off testing as long as possible! 🙈 IF I do get pregnant I’m sure I’ll know, and especially if no period turns up, but my plan is to not test until the end of the month if AF doesn’t show, so by that time I’d be between 6-7 weeks. I just don’t want to see a positive test again and go through those awful couple of weeks getting to a ‘safer’ stage 🙈 but who knows, I may cave haha

@TerribleImagination i know exactly how you feel and told myself the same but then i also remember that i just want to know so badly
I am so torn! I wish i could also wait at least 7 weeks to test

@Michette I know, I’m so envious of those women who don’t even realise they’re pregnant, and find out at like 7 or 8 weeks or something and can instantly have a reliable early scan! I deffo think my body is too sensitive to hormones for me to be in the dark about it though, especially having been pregnant before, I’m anticipating when/if it happens again that it’ll just know... So I don’t know why I’m planning on holding off testing really... bit of self-preservation I guess!

Hi please may I join?
I got my bfp Christmas eve and bled heavily on 3rd Jan, was on holiday which was completely rubbish.
Home yesterday and tested, bfn. So at least I know where we stand.
I'm devastated and just want to be pregnant again, been reading around mumsnet and am now hopeful it will happen again soon. The tww was torture last time and I tested constantly, at least if I've no idea of dates this time I can just test once a week if I get symptoms maybe. I had symptoms 3dpo with this pregnancy and also with my DS so am hoping for the same next time.

@Bath2020 let me know how the acupuncture goes on Friday. I am booked in on Tuesday! She’s a fertility specialist so I’m sure she’ll be Able to give me some more advice on it!

@Michette @TerribleImagination
I may be testing buddies with you both as I think I will be due AF around 22nd Jan but as I am just coming off the miscarriage and not a proper cycle so it’s just a guess really!

I think I may have ovulated already but I’m not sure so il keep doing OPKs and if I don’t get another spike then il assume I’m due 22nd

The TWW is pure torture and on both miscarriages I was testing lots in the TWW but on my daughter I didn’t test until I was 8 weeks .... it was better that way but there is no way I can hold off now, I have zero will power now 😣

Sorry..... just checked app.....
It’s the 19th not 22nd 👍🏼

@Cruiser1 Hi testing buddy 👋🏻 I’m in the same boat as you with the guess work for when AF is due! Did you know you were pregnant with your daughter and just waited to test? I’m really hoping I can hold out until at least 6 weeks 🙈

Has anyone had light pink discharge at ovulation?

I just noticed now and it never happened before... not sure what to think

Sorry gals I can’t keep up with this thread haha! Sorry to hear some of you are having bad days. I keep thinking I’m fine and then something will hit me! Like just now I went for my smear test and the lovely nurse said she was sorry to hear about my miscarriage and then I burst into tears!! She was so lovely and reassuring. But yeah it turns out I can’t actually have a smear test until I’m at least 12 weeks past the surgery date (so end of Feb/start of March) so I said I was hoping to be pregnant again by then! And then she told me they don’t do smears during pregnancy (of course) so I will have to wait and see what happens!

Cycle buddy @Anny27 how are you getting on? Do you think you’ve ovulated yet? I think my body is gearing up for it as I’ve had a lot more dc today (but not EWCM yet).

Big love to all of you and lots of baby dust! I’m already so excited for all the BFPs at the end of the month! 💖💫

@TerribleImagination no 😂 I didn’t know - or didn’t want to know! My husband says he knew but I was too scared to test lol 😂 I should have known when I wasn’t in the mood for wine 🍷😮😂

@Michette no not for a while but I have had that before, apparently it’s due to a dip in estrogen just after ovulation

@Michette I’m the cycle I conceived I had a light pink smearing when I wiped. Only ever had it that one time I wiped and I never had it before. I’m pretty sure that was implantation bleeding. Think I got this at some point in the last week of the tww. Can’t remember for sure as I wasn’t keeping track due to moving house. Hopefully it’s to do with that for you too x