Trying to conceive at 39!

[Nicsfh80]

Hi, i have just got married and we are ttc our first! We started about 2 years ago but then my husband had an accident and we stopped then we were planning a wedding so we only just started again 3 months ago. I am 39 and my OH is 40. I'm a bit worried about my age and what steps I should be taking etc. Any advice or someone to chat to in the same boat would be lovely as I feel really alone on this journey xx

Hey everyone just found this thread - I'm 39, have a 17 year old daughter from previous relationship. Married almost 2 years (hubby almost 38 with no children) so we decided to try and see what happens! I stopped desogestrel (mini pill) after 6 years and had what I believe is a withdrawal bleed on 20 August lasted 4 days. Now just waiting to see when my period is, how my cycle behaves and of course DTD. Feel so out of touch as my only pregnancy was almost 18 years ago- taking vitamins and trying to be healthy. Feeling open minded and trying not to overthink but that's not so easy with my age! Reading posts has helped and hoping to share the journey with you 💕

Hi and welcome to any newbies

@Bobbielove321 sounds like we may be in similar situations.
I’m 37, I have 3 children already but dp has none, he’s 29. I stopped taking the pill at the end of August. Had a withdrawal bleed, and then ovulated (or at least think I may have done based on cramps and discharge). Then my expected af date was 22nd September but having only recently come off the pill I was basing my expected date on my old pill cycles, so as can often happen it took a little while longer for af to arrive, but it arrived a week later (28th) so I’m currently on cd3 and hoping it might all regulate again from now on but not holding my breath.
Dp and I both have extremely high sex drives thankfully and he’s so excited about ttc that he’s always up for it, so we tend to dtd once a day, although I’m trying to limit it to once every other day as I know it’s better for his swimmers to have time to build back up lol.
I’m a massive symptom spotter and over thinker so I know I’ll be terrible during the tww!

Hello! Thank you for replying!

My partner likes everything to happen naturally and won’t be rushed. He has two teenagers already and I have a 12 year old.
To be honest I think he’d rather just continue like we are, and not have anymore. But I’ve always wanted another.

Should we be noticing changes in cervical fluid 2 DPO?
Surely it wouldn’t change so early? Mine just looks like the non-fertile thick-ish consistency. Driving me mad this is! haha

I work nights so can only try twice a week! You are so lucky to be able to try everyday 😁

Hello! Awww I think we are problem worrying too much. Apparently it can take a year! I hope not!
If we are ovulating we should be able to get pregnant 👍
I hope it happens as I’ve already bought some lovely maternity dresses ❤️

If you are in a hurry ....
I spent / wasted a year following the OPK sticks - didn't work for me. I saw a fertility doctor and he said that if you have sex every other day for 2 months you'll get pregnant. We did ... and did! Did the same when trying for our other children and got preggie pretty much straight away.
Good luck :)

Hiya! Yes i would like to try every other day but I work nights. I ovulated last Friday ( strong ovulation pains ) but had sex on the Thursday. I hope there is a chance? As ive heard sperm can live for up to 5 days inside a woman’s body.
Did you have symptoms 3 days after conception?
I said to my partner we should have tried on the day but he had man flu! I was quite angry as he just had the sniffles to be honest.
I was sat upstairs upset and ovulating, he was downstairs just lying on the sofa. He doesn’t understand me when I say we need to try more! He thinks it will just happen when it’s meant to be.

12 dpo and too scared to test for fear of disappointment 🙄!! When does everyone else test ladies.... I'm going nuts lol! No signs or symptoms at all so I'd guess not but still that little bit of hope xxx

I'm not testing until the TWW is properly up (if AF doesn't make an appearance). If I'm going to be disappointed, I'd like it to be conclusive.

Hello how are we all, anyone nearing the end of the 2ww? x

I'm not in the (agonising) 2ww yet. I'm right in the middle of my cycle and my DP is abroad.

So I’m currently only 10 days into my cycle. Waiting to start seeing signs of upcoming ovulation. I think in a few days I might start to see the but we’re dtd every other day anyway so hopefully will be covered whatever. Although I have a stinking cold at the moment so I’m hoping that won’t mess up our chances this month.
Hopefully a week from now and I’ll be in the tww.
@Elles1980 did you test in the end?
Anyone else got any promising signs or anything?

Hi @Moominmiss yes it was negative and af has showed ever so slightly just this evening....I fear I'm beginning to loose hope! I actually cried 🤦🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️!! Will keep trying but not sure just how long I can do it though, some days I'm tough and other I just can't deal and today is a can't deal day lol xxx

@Icouldstillbejoseph and @Moominmiss same here, mid cycle day 12 waiting on signs of ovulation but nothing as yet. App says today but no sign. DH is away tonght and we only managed to dtd once over the weekend so I'm not hopeful of our chances again this month!

@Elles1980 sorry it was a negative Hope you are a feeling a bit better tomorrow x

@Elles1980 I’m sorry you had a bfn and that af then showed up. It’s so so hard to stay positive isn’t it. How long have you been ttc now?

@Maybebaby2 do you track ovulation or anything? You said your app says it should be now? What app do you use? I’ve always tracked my periods using period tracker so have always had a loose idea of my fertile time which supposedly begins this Friday but since I stopped the pill I’m not sure my cycles are the same. So we’re just dtd every other day to make sure we cover all bases. I know if I actually tracked o with tests or temp I’d get too caught up in it all and it’d end up taking over my life.
Must be frustrating having your hubby away at the moment. But one of his swimmers is all it takes and if you think o might have happened yesterday then you could still be in with a chance!

@Elles1980 I think crying is fairly normal in these situations.

Awe thanks for the support ladies, we started end of January and got lucky first time 😊, fast forward to may 28th and had what the surgeon called 'a freak' MC. I lost over 30 baby sized clots and hemoraged and went into cervical shock and had to be ressucitated so that was an awful time. Then we got caught September we found out 12th September at a hospital appointment to check my bleeding as it hadn't stopped since may, then sadly we lost that one the following day, as you can imagine it's been a rollercoaster of emotions (mainly fear on my part lol). So since the sept MC the bleeding stopped and I somehow thought this was a sign that this is our time and alas it's not 🙄! So hard this TTC it certainly drags and it's never ending it's the build up to ovulation then the 2ww, there's no break. My poor oh has no children whereas I have 4 and he is a wonderful man and so deserves a child of his own! Oh may I add that he'd tried with his ex partner for 10 years and was told after tests he's infertile. But he's got me pregnant twice now. Xxx

Hi @Moominmiss I've got the Flo app and find it quite useful. I don't use opks as yet but found an old pack in the draw so I must have used them at some point while ttc dd. I had the Flo app then as well and it did help but my cycles were regular so it was easier. They are a bit all over the place now so I'm not sure I am ov when it's predicting. My worry is I might not be ov at all so I might have to use the opks to get an idea if I am or not. It can be all consuming once you go down that route though so I'll try not to test every cycle!

Can you believe DH came home tonight but has a stomach bug! He's really not well and I do feel bad for him but at the same time I'm thinking well thats us definitely out this month!

@Elles1980 sorry you've been through such an awful lot this year. Just wondering if it could be that your body is starting to regulate itself again after September and the bleeding since May. If so it might not be all bad that af has arrived if it means you are getting regular cycles again, if that makes sense?

Another cycle ends in another period. I'm starting to think I'm just too old. I had my blood test last week but don't have the follow up gp appointment for a couple of weeks. In some ways I think it would be better to be told its not going to happen because trying hard and failing is so hard to take.

I've got nothing useful to say other than I feel despondent and the same about age. My cycles certainly aren't what they used to be and I never, ever notice egg-white cervical mucous like I used to.
I'm giving up hope tbh and seriously considering adoption

@Icouldstillbejoseph & @BabyMoonPie
aw I really feel for you ladies, this is tough. IV only just started telling friends about my MC and me trying to conceive, it's a weird one because on one hand there all so supportive and have stories of friends, aunts, cousins etc who have had children as late as 47 but then it's the "just relax and it'll happen"!! It's nice to share experiences and to know that others understand how hard and soul destroying it can be some days! Not that I wish this on anyone else, I wish we could all have babies whenever we wanted, and I'm sure we will.... This is just a journey. Just wanted to send you all the biggest hugs and thanks for the support at this time as I do struggle alone so these chats mean alot! Xxx

Hey OP I'm age 40 and 36 weeks pg with my 2nd DS, having had 3 m/cs in between. I'd also recommend It Starts with the Egg and to get some ovulation sticks which really helped us get the timing right. I almost gave up last November when I had my 3rd m/c, but at Christmas we decided to make a final effort. I had fertility acupuncture for 6 weeks and we did everything we could to optimise conception.

It's completely draining and exhausting and we nearly gave up but I'm glad we made that last effort. Good luck.

Hello all, I’m 39 and TTC no2. Conceived at 35 with DS and been trying for no2 for over 2 years now with no luck. I’m using OPK, pre seed and taking conception vitamins. My two closest friends and I all decided do go for no2 together and they both have already had their babies now (they are 35 and 33).

I’m getting really fucked off and feeling very sorry for myself, had two false positives last cycle with coop pregnancy tests so never ever use them ladies, it was a horrible rollercoaster. I’m starting to get hot flushes here and there so I’m worried I’m too late and I’m getting really stressed about it which won’t help!

I got my blood test results yesterday and all are OK. My GP said to assume everything is fine and keep trying and go back in January if I'm not pregnant and he'll make a referral as it will have been a year. While it's good that theoretically I can get pregnant it's frustrating that it's not happening. I'm trying to be relaxed but it's hard as all I want for Christmas is a positive pregnancy test

I'm glad your results were good. Hopefully you will get that BFP for (or before) Christmas.

I had my first at 37 and my second at 39. I hit peri-menopause on the early side.

My friend, after 5 failed IVF attempts and only managing to harvest to viable eggs on the last attempt, tried medical quantities of coenzyme Q10 and had a natural pregnancy. So there are ways to boost your egg strength.