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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

35+ TTC#1 Thread 3

999 replies

Blondcat · 20/08/2018 12:06

We seem to have filled up our last thread so here is a new one.

A wonderful bunch of ladies supporting each other through the ttc journey when trying for a first baby after 35.

Goodluck to all ladies we can do it Smile

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Thread gallery
11
Kescilly · 31/08/2018 13:34

Thanks @Sessy19, I appreciate you sharing that info with us! Might be something to keep in mind down the road.

BambiOnIce80 · 31/08/2018 13:53

Afternoon all 👋 I didn't mean to go off the radar, but the acupuncturist gave me a lot to ponder 🤔 Overall a relaxing experience, but I'm relatively sure that not all first consultations involve the acupuncturist saying "please don't punch me in the face" 😂 He'd asked lots of questions, got all my back history and asked about my cycle and patiently waited through my list of fertility trackers, OPK's, timing DTD to FW and fertility lube. He then politely said that in his 12 years of working in a fertility clinic it was always the case that as soon as couples "stopped trying" and stopped putting pressure on themselves was when they got pregnant... and I've never been good at poker, so I think my face said it all and betrayed me 😤😂 That's when he asked me not to punch him in the face 😬 He then advised me to chuck out my OPK's and he actually flinched from the look on my face after that suggestion 🤣 In all fairness, he pointed out that I have regular cycles, the OPK's agree with my app about when I ovulate, so why am I still religiously POAS and making things more clinical/non-relaxed when I know what the answer is going to be? Good question, I thought. Made me stop and think/not punch him in the face 🤔

So. He thinks that my fertility issue may actually be something to do with a mundane condition I have called hyperhydrosis (which in my case is ridiculously hot and clammy palms and feet on and off). He says this may be causing a fluid imbalance that is affecting my fertility - not sure if I buy it, but I'm willing to stick with it and give it a go for a couple of months. He apparently practices an old fashioned kind of acupuncture that goes for really strong pressure points with fewer needles. Only put 8 needles in me total. The first one (in the top of my foot below my big toe) felt comparable to the 'sharp scratch' you get when you get bloods done, which was fine 👍 He then put 3 along the inside of my right calf and I didn't feel those go in at all 🙂 The last 4 were where it became apparent that he had lured me into a false sense of security - two in the lower part of both index fingers nearly sent me through the 🤬ing roof!! He said that's why he left those until last! 😂

I do feel remarkably chilled today and my hands/feet have been mostly dry for the past 24 hours, but that's not too unusual. I'm seriously thinking about leaving the OPK's alone this cycle because he's right - I know when I ovulate, so why am I doing them? He advised leaving the fertility lube in place though because of the dryness issues (sorry for the TMI!) and said to try and just DTD when we feel like it, rather than just timing it to the FW. We'll try 🙂

DP also proudly came back from the nice GP lady with his SA pot, bless him ☺️ Turns out our local hospital is quite good and has a couple of "production rooms" (DP is already calling them "milking rooms" 🤣) that DP's can use to produce their samples. DP's really happy about that because he was stressing about how he'd get it there in less than an hour with traffic and parking and everything. He's going to go next week 🙂

Apologies for the overly long post! Feel free to rant about bathroom fitters for me @AstroKate! I would've done the same last week, but we're thankfully sorted now. The kitchen fitters are in now, but so far so good there 🙂

Good luck with FW @Oxted2018 🍀

Sorry for AF @Russkispy 💐 Please let me know how you get on with reflexology. Don't know if I can cope with someone touching my feet though!

Melamine · 31/08/2018 14:07

Oh god, I occasionally go on AIBU for the same reason I read Facebook comments - to marvel at how awful people are.

Sounds like an interesting experience Bambi. I do dread hearing the ‘stop trying so hard’ advice. When neither of you have much sex drive, stopping trying would mean no chance of ever conceiving 😂

BambiOnIce80 · 31/08/2018 14:40

Agree completely @Melamine!! 😂

It really rials me when someone says "just relax and it'll happen". Bull 💩! I was perfectly relaxed until the first 6 months went by and nothing happened! And it's not like I'm stressed when we're DTD! When you think about those cases where women have been beaten, assaulted and raped and the poor women end up pregnant, you can't tell me that's because they were "relaxed and not trying"!! 😡 That's beyond ridiculous!! Rant over 🙄😬

... I think the acupuncturist has a point though, clearly! I need to try and be more zen! 😂

Blondcat · 31/08/2018 14:44

@russkispy sorry for af but at least you are feeling positive about moving forward.

@bambionice80 sounds interesting with the acupuncture and not using opks.

I am just into the tww I think about 2 dpo and the joys of ttc have hit me again this month! So after thrush last month I have a uti this month. Been to doc this morning so got ttc safe antibiotics and got her to check as I have a cyst appeared on the lips down below sorry for tmi. Sigh I think it is my body telling me to be prepared for these things when I get pregnant as I understand these are common then. Trying to get something positive out of it Grin

OP posts:
BambiOnIce80 · 31/08/2018 14:52

Sorry to hear you're under the weather @Blondcat 💐

79andnotout · 31/08/2018 15:12

Hi everyone!

Not much news on my end. My period was over a week late this month which I think was due to hopping around timezones. I didn't track temp this month which was annoying as I would have likely realised I hadn't missed my fertile week after all.

Thought I had my first hot flush this morning but realised I was probably just having a insulin related wobbly. Phew.

On the topic of bbting, I take my temps very rough and ready, whatever time the dog wakes me up. My only rule is vaginally and before I get out of bed. It gives me a clear overall pattern even if it's slightly rocky day to day. Dunno if that's just me though but I wouldn't be put off if it looks erratic to begin with.

I'm about to turn 39 and have decided we will ttc for one more year and when I turn 40 I'm drawing a line under it and going back on the pill and getting my life back. And booking some nice holidays and reconfiguring our house to suit a family of two. I can't face years of half living in the two week wait! OH has already started lining up holidays. We are clearly both pessimists :)

79andnotout · 31/08/2018 15:14

That's interesting about the acupuncture @BambiOnIce80
I'm too sceptical about acupuncture although I know lots of friends swear by it. I'd give reflexology a go though cos I love people touching my feet!

BambiOnIce80 · 31/08/2018 15:31

@79andnotout I love your long term plan 😍 I'm a year behind you and think the 40 deadline sounds like a cunning plan. DP and I have already talked about a 2 week tour of the wine regions of Chile or Argentina if no luck on the TTC front in the next year... always good to have a back-up plan 🇨🇱 🇦🇷 🍾🥂😉

79andnotout · 31/08/2018 15:45

Yeah think just for my own sanity I'm giving myself a hard limit and 40 seemed a nice round number to do so.

Ugh TTC is so draining. I have a lot of respect for those of you who have had the strength to do it for years and years.

Kescilly · 31/08/2018 16:20

I’m impressed by the solid plan too, @79andnotout. I think @BambiOnIce80 is on to something. Wine

Oxted2018 · 31/08/2018 16:58

Acupuncture sounds useful @Bambi. I know hearing the "Just relax" speech is frustrating though...

@blondcat - sorry to hear about your TTC troubles. Have you just been away on holiday? Hopefully that will have made for some relaxed and productive DTD! Hope the TWW goes quickly for you.

I'm also loving your long-term plan @70andnotout. To the extent that I'm now questioning my commitment to potentially spending the next few years POAS and stressing about luteal phases, ovulation and all other sorts of things I probably haven't even thought of yet! A lifetime of holiday planning sounds more appealing! Must remember I DO want a baby!! But I also like the idea of trying, giving it everything and then drawing a line and moving on if it doesn't happen and I agree that 40 seems like a good marker.....

If you got pregnant on your last month before turning 40, I wonder if you would be thrilled or a bit gutted?!

Blondcat · 31/08/2018 17:08

@oxted2018 thanks. No next month is holiday but fw fell over the Bank Holiday so got some relaxed dtd in last weekend so fx.

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InDreamland · 31/08/2018 17:22

Good to plan @79andnotout and @BambiOnIce80. Definitely don't put your life on hold. That's something DH and I haven't done in the 5 years TTC leading up to getting pregnant. We've done everything and visited everywhere we wanted to. Only exception was booking our holiday to Costa Rica later this year, got BFP so had to change booking to Seychelles because of Zika! Obvs now having had the mc we're still going to Seychelles because it's now too much to switch back and also can't risk just in case we do fall pregnant again before we go or if we don't can't get pregnant for 6 months after returning.

I get the irritation of well intended advuce about relaxing and that whole "it will happen for you eventually " like so they have a crystal ball and can see into the future? But, and please don't shoot me, I'd pretty much given up because it had been almost 5 years of TTC, then bam, BFP, shocker! I have to admit I think it was because I'd given up. Not now though, I'm really desperate to be pregnant again.

@Blondcat fx this is your month!

PixieN · 31/08/2018 17:47

@Blondcat hope you feel better soon Flowers

I think it’s good to have a plan @79andnotout and @BambiOnIce80 It would be nice not to need it, but it would help sanity levels for sure and knowing that you can have a fulfilled child free life with lots of exciting things planned is a huge positive. We’d all have more money for a start, instead of spending god knows what on all sorts of ttc crap! I’d definitely want a cut off point, but think I’d be tempted to forget about ttc and just not bother with contraception. I like the idea that it could still happen iykwim....

PixieN · 31/08/2018 17:50

@AstroKate I don’t think i’d dare post on AIBU 😳😱

Journey18 · 31/08/2018 19:19

Hi Ladies

I'm new and hoping i can learn from your experiences
I'm 36 and been ttc for almost two years. I have pcos and have been treated for endometriosis in the past.
We have been referred for IVF but currently on a long waiting list.

In the meantime we were advised to start with some supplements to see if they would help. My AF past few cycles seemed to be getting better arriving every 27 days,
I started taking wellwoman preconception tabs a month ago this month af was late by 5 days.

Has anyone experienced anything similar?

Melamine · 31/08/2018 23:01

Welcome @journey18. The first month I took conception vitamins my period was 4 days late. It was a cruel trick! Google told me it’s incredibly common despite denial by the vitamin companies!

BambiOnIce80 · 01/09/2018 08:41

Good morning ladies and welcome @Journey18 ☀️

@Oxted2018 a very similar scenario happened to one of my friends! She wasn't turning 40, but she'd been TTC for 3 years, had had the investigations done and decided that the poking and prodding of IVF wasn't for her. She and her DP had decided that if they weren't pregnant by that Christmas then they were getting a puppy (excellent idea in my opinion - I'd be very happy with a fur baby instead 😉). Then, of course, in November BAM - BFP! She was in pieces!! Totally gutted about not being able to get the puppy 😂 She loves her child now, of course!

@PixieN I agree completely about the money element too. Imagine the disposable income for the rest of your life if there's no baby and no TTC crap to buy?! There would be some very serious holidays! 😄 I'm thinking of adding Tasmania to the list - we were watching a Rick Stein 'foodie destination' programme and Tasmania is apparently where it's at right now 😋🥂😋🥂

I hope you all have a lovely weekend. I'm off to get more paint on me than the kitchen I'm trying to paint 🎨 🙄

Journey18 · 01/09/2018 10:40

arrrh thanks @Melamine. I agree the vitamin companies very misleading?
Have you noticed any positive changes since taking the vitamins?
I'm debating whether or not to buy more as now I will be completely lost with my ovulation dates.

AstroKate · 01/09/2018 11:00

I've been in bed the last 24 hours with a sickness bug and trying to catch up with it all!
@BambiOnIce80 Sounds like you've had a really interesting and positive experience with acupuncture (albeit the pain not ideal on fingers-ouch!) I think your idea to not use OPK and just try and keep it at the back of your mind is a good one-so many stories of people trying for so long and as soon as they stop...bam...baby. However, easier said than done hey?

Welcome @Journey18 . This is also my first thread posting on TTC and after reading a few I found the 35+ conversation seemed to mirror my feelings, questions and concerns more than others!

@PixieN AIBU is just vile I have decided! I'm sure some people are on their just to cause arguments for the sake of it. Feel just awful for some new posters getting ripped apart...but it's like a car crash I can't turn away from!!

AstroKate · 01/09/2018 11:01

Hey @Melamine Which vitamins are you taking? I'm just on folic or is there a trick I'm missing!! Blush

AstroKate · 01/09/2018 11:02

Hope you're feeling better @Blondcat Thanks

Journey18 · 01/09/2018 11:10

Thanks @ AstroKate I agree this conversation seems to b the best one I've come across so far.

I was even just trying to look and c f I could find one about ivf/icsi as wanted to know if anyone has been the process.

Melamine · 01/09/2018 11:37

@journey18 I’ve been taking them consistently since about October 18, and I got pregnant in January, which was unfortunately a miscarriage. Nothing since. I feel like my hair has grown faster since starting them. Nothing else of note!

@AstroKate, i think of it like a multivitamin really, so I’m getting various other minerals that may help my health, vs just taking folic acid. I’ve taken the posh ones (wellwoman) and the cheap ones (Asda) and not noticed any difference so I’m now on the cheap ones, though admittedly they’re not as cheap as just taking folic alone!