35+ TTC#1 Thread 3

[Blondcat]

We seem to have filled up our last thread so here is a new one.

A wonderful bunch of ladies supporting each other through the ttc journey when trying for a first baby after 35.

Goodluck to all ladies we can do it

Good luck @CNizzle. I hope it isn’t to unpleasant for you. And sending luck to everyone for the coming month. I feel like I’m not even in the game.... still no ovulation. Because I’ve jumped in the convo quite late. I feel like I don’t know enough. What is everyone’s story of you don’t mind me asking? X

@Carley32, what CD are you now? I've found the stressing about using OPK's and waiting for ovulation is nearly as bad as not tracking it!! I've decided to not track it this month to try and not put as much stress on myself (previous OPK's tell me that I ovulate on either CD15 or 16, so don't see the point in constantly POAS!). The down side is I'm can't be so sure about how many dpo I am, but I'll be somewhere between 7-9dpo now.

Cycle 6 (but 39 previously and investigations with the ex), so will be booking blood tests if/when AF shows up on Friday. DP had SA done a week ago and he'll be getting his results this week, so that should shed some light on the TTC fun!

Hey @Carley32
Im 38, ttc #1 officially since the beginning of the year. But came of cerelle/cerazette about 18 months ago. Never had a bfp. never seen even a hint of a second line.
Been with OH for 16ish years (not married) just never managed to actually get our sh*t together and be adults really!
Finally got a house & garden, & slowly realising we left it all a bit long to start adulting.

Hi @Bambionice80. I’m on CD 18. Iv been using them because I have only had 1 natural period since stopping the pill 4 months ago. So have nothing else to go by really. I’v been getting the faintest line on the OPK but that’s been for 4 days now m, so not sure what’s going on there.

I’m not to in in the lingo yet... what is DP SA? Fingers and toes crossed for some positive results.
Who knew ttc was so hard.... I suppose you never really here the concerns only the pregnancy news. So until ttc you just don’t get how tricky it can be x

@CNizzle we have done the same. You think you’re doing a good thing waiting for the time to be perfect while being able to provide the best life... and don’t actually take into account that it could be trickier than it looks. But sending so much luck to you. It’s good to have these sites. It’s a little bit of heaven being able to talk x

@Carley32 completely, my friends either have kids, and i dont realky know how to talk to them about this stuff, are eternal singletons, or staunchly anti-kids. Ive a couple of pals who've been thru ivf, but only one of them would be someone i could talk about it. The other (i thought a v close friend) told me she'd had ivf but swore me to secrecy & made me feel v uncomfortable about asking even when i said we'd been having issues.
Its nice here to not feel like you're the only one going a bit nutty!!

Sorry @Carley32, I'm so lazy! 😂 DP is dear partner and SA is semen analysis.

I'm 38, was with my ex for 10 years before we got married and started TTC, followed by 3.5 years before we got a diagnosis of unexplained infertility (and then divorce-mostly unrelated, I hasten to add!).

Queue 5 years to build a new life and be fortunate enough to fall in love again... but unfortunately it's looking like infertility has followed me into my new relationship 🙄

@CNizzle, I've never had a hint of a BFP preg test either - it'd just be nice to know that sperm could meet egg, wouldn't it?! Fingers-crossed for a lucky month for everybody 🤞🏻🍀

@BambiOnIce80 so nice that you found your new love. My OH has his SA on Wednesday. Im due to ov next monday or tues (cs15/15), but am staying down in england at my parents thursday to saturday so a bit worried this month is a bit tight on time.
I suppose another reason we're ttc now is that my dad is very ill and we'd hoped he'd see me have a child (my younger sister already has two) so feeling a bit of a failure on that front too. Life's a total pig, right?

Its brill that you’ve found a new love @BambiOnIce. Something similar happened to a friend. She first had trouble with her ex then carried on with her treatment and testing with her new partner. She had a baby last year thanks to IVF.

@CNizzle you are not a failure... always remember that. I’m sorry to hear about your dad. Good luck for squeezing a quickie in somewhere along the week.

No there is literally no one I can talk to except 2 friends which one has had IVF and tried for about 10 years before so she won’t really have the patience with me being concerned yet. And the other I don’t get to see so often but she does have 2 kids both in which conceived as soon as she started trying.

I know it hasn’t been to long for me ttc but between the irregular if any period and the lack of ovulation I am getting concerned. I am thinking of starting yoga or something that may help me get a little fitter as well as stop the stressing. Again I wish I had someone to go with mind lol.

I definitely recommend yoga @Carley32. I (re)started yoga a few months ago - used to go weekly for years but moved and never found a teacher I liked - was feeling anxious a lot about work/TTC and it definitely helped. And I’ve never gone with anyone, you can’t talk to them during the class anyway! I recommend trying to find a more ‘gentle’ one, not a gym type yoga for maximum relaxation effect x

Hello I'd like to join you ladies on this thread as you seem like good eggs! (no pun intended)

Age 36
Ttc #1
Cycle #2

I've only just begun and am a 'reluctant mum' in that it all petrifies the life out of me.

Also - I am astonished to find how common it is to have difficulty conceiving, mcs and all that. I never really thought about it before. I always assumed it would be easy, since my family history is one of EXTREME fertility! My maternal gran had about 82 descendants before she passed. Slightly fewer but still huge amounts on my dad's side !

So I've started to make myself a bit nervous about what I'm about to go through and this seems like a super place for moral support.

You can talk to us, @Carley32! I’ve never gone to a yoga class but I do videos at home and I think it’s really helped me. There’s a YouTube one I like doing before be done because I think it helps me sleep.

@CNizzle it’s difficult to fit in TTC around life sometimes, isn’t it? We are going to stay with relatives for a week or so and normally I’d be annoyed to have AF while away, but now it’s probably better. Hope you manage to get in a quick one or two!

My story hasn’t gone quite the way I planned. I was with my first husband from a fairly young age. We dated for many years, married at 25. I thought we both wanted kids and we TTC’d briefly, but he kept moving goalposts and eventually we divorced. It wasn’t a pretty divorce (and it wasn’t about having children) but I got through it fairly well.

I didn’t think I’d ever get married again, but ended up falling for someone on the other side of the world. So here I am, living in a country I never imagined I would, with a husband I wasn’t looking for!

@carley32 I love yoga and it really helps keep me loose and flexible after sitting at a desk all day. Helps with the stress too. The gym ones are a lot more fitness based generally so less about reflection and relaxation but you can get a good teacher and what you want from it. I go twice a week and one is much more my style than the other but can't justify the extra cost to go to yoga and pay for the gym.

Welcome @beeseeinya.

I'm so sorry your Dad isn't well @CNizzle 😔 I completely understand wanting him to see his grandchild. I was hoping to do the same for my grandmother, but I can't see it happening (she's got a tumour and is deteriorating, slowly but surely). Fingers-crossed you manage to get a couple of DTD's in your fertile week this month 🤞🏻

@Carley32 it can be really hard finding someone to talk to who gets it/has been there and done it. I was really lucky last time round that a really close friend was my go to and she was in a similar situation. She's had 2 kids since, doesn't live anywhere near me anymore and is married to the ex's bestie, so don't think having a chat with her is really an option anymore 😄 This group is definitely a god send 😇

@Beeseeinya welcome! 💐 I absolutely thought I'd fall pregnant on the first attempt 🙄 Reality does bite a bit for some of us! Hopefully your family genes will kick in and you won't be TTC for long 😉 My family looks to be the exact opposite of yours! I'm an only child and an only grandchild, so several lines will end with me. In some kind of weird genetic procreation kind of way, I'll be even more sad if we don't have any success with TTC for that reason -feel slightly pathetic putting that in writing, but it's how I feel 😣

I do love a happy ending @Kescilly 😊 How are you getting on? Remind me where you are in your cycle?

I'm in the TWW again - AF due Friday... and going to a wine tasting Thursday night! Think I'll have to crack open a FRER Thursday morning so I know whether I have to spit or whether I can swallow!! 🍾🥂😬 My inner symptom spotting psycho is driving me nuts too 🤪 I'm trying to ignore her, but she won't be stopped - she's reading pregnancy symptoms in the most mundane things 😩 I've got my third acupuncture session this evening after a 2 week break, so hoping that might relax my mind and calm the symptom spotting psycho down 📍🤞🏻

You’re quite right of course @blondcat, there must be plenty of lovely zen gym yogas and intense non gym yogas! A mix of both is ideal. I think trying a few classes is the key. Can’t wait to be able to go back. Ommmmmmmmm 😂

Welcome @Beeseeinya and fingers & toes crossed @BambiOnIce80 🍀

Welcome @Beeseeinya! Also reluctance/fear here. Hence getting to 38 & on this forum!

@Carley32 yoga is great, not done it in ages, I used to do Body Balance too, which is the sort-off fitness class version, and i found, although it was hard and more of a gym class, i still felt relaxed and acomplished at the end.
These days its all-hands-on-deck trying to reduce the bmi, so I'm spin-class crazy! Still the fattest sturdiest one in the room, but pedalling like the clappers!!!

Welcome @Beeseeingya!

@BambiOnIce80 my Ovia app keeps encouraging me to look out for symptoms that I've conceived and I'm all nooooo don't encourage me! I think I'm about 9dpo today but I doubt that this is our cycle. We only managed once during my FW and my thyroid levels aren't normal. I thought I'd be a bit more sad about that but I'm not feeling it right now, just thinking about trying again next cycle!

Wine tasting sounds great! Are you going somewhere new? Testing Thursday morning sounds like a good idea, could put your mind at ease.

Fingers crossed for some successes this month @bambionice80 and @kescilly

Snap @Kescilly!! I think I'm between 8 & 10dpo (because I've laid off the OPK's this month as a "relaxed approach" suggestion from the acupuncturist, I didn't track my LH peak this cycle and I don't really know when I ovulated except for when I got ovulation twinges at CD14 😒). My Flo app is the same about encouraging symptom logging - nooooo, don't tempt me!! I've had a weird taste in my mouth on and off since Friday and my inner symptom spotting psycho is making a really big deal out of that 🤪 Dr Google says the most common cause of that is stress, followed by menopause, so really don't think I can read too much into it! 😂

The wine tasting is the free one that our local Majestic puts on every few months 🍷 As I've never had so much as a sniffter of a BFP in the 44 accumulative TTC cycles, I'm not thinking cycle 45 is going to be any different 😏 Sods law would be that with a wine tasting booked this would be the one! 😂

Thanks for the support @Blondcat 💖 Thursday feels like a loooonnng way away, but I'll keep you all informed 🙂

Anyone else cheesed off the the similarity of early Prego signs, AF symptoms and the chuffing menopause!

AF due tomorrow. Twinges in my tummy and after IVF-Gate clanger from OH i didn't want to look at him, let alone hump him this month - so I'll poas and then have a glass of wine tomorrow! X

Oh @TheNewbieStep, cheesed off is putting it very mildly indeed!! 😂 Imagine my tentative hope when I read that the 'weird taste' thing I've got going on could be a sign of pregnancy (🎉🤩🎉), only to then read that stress is more likely and menopause is in with a shout too (🌩️😱🌩️) 🙄 I was wondering how you were getting on post IVF-gate - I take it things aren't quite sorted out yet? Does he still not want to talk about it?

On the subject of perimenopause (my current obsessive reading matter 😬), I truly give up trying to self diagnose and am just going to wait to get bloods done to tell me if I'm in it or not. Symptoms include being too hot or having chills 😕 Having lighter or heavier periods 😕 It may or may not affect your fertility 😕 I 💩 you not ladies - what's the point in obsessing when we don't stand a chance at figuring it out on our own?!

@TheNewbieStep yes! I stopped symptom tracking once I realized pregnancy and AF symptoms were pretty much the same. I can’t even think about menopause!

How have you been doing?

@BambiOnIce80 I wish that I could step away from the OPKs. Everything went irregular once we started TTC and I’ve ovulated anything from CD12 to CD19 the last few months.

Maybe we all need to make plans that aren’t child-friendly. Splashing out on a trip to Vegas and the Napa wine valley while selling and downsizing to a one bedroom flat ought to cover it!

@Kescilly non-baby plans sound good, I really fancy a cycling holiday, ive seen one that's Vienna to Budapest, mostly flat (im not a maniac!) And not too tough, & theres plenty of wine opportunities along the way, but i cant quite bring myself to book it.

I think I can already feel AF coming on 😕