35+ TTC#1 Thread 3

[Blondcat]

We seem to have filled up our last thread so here is a new one.

A wonderful bunch of ladies supporting each other through the ttc journey when trying for a first baby after 35.

Goodluck to all ladies we can do it

I totally understand where you are coming from @Noodella18. What I wouldn't give to get a positive FRER just once, even if it didn't stick! I think I'm just a medical oddity that can't get pregnant for unexplained reasons 🙄 To know I'm even capable of conceiving would be something 😂 Keeping everything crossed for you that it's just your DP's surgery uses crappy preg sticks that are muddying the testing waters! 🤞

@Oxted2018, I wilfully skipped over the part of getting allergic asthma from cats in my cat owning dream 😬 The quarter cat remarkably doesn't seem to kick that off, but that's maybe because she's not with us all the time and I don't let her anywhere near my face 🙄 I have to pop antihistamines like tick-tacs though. A dog is the real dream, but sadly doesn't fit in with working. If I can afford a dog-walker in the future, then a puppy will happen 😍

... I wonder if work would let me take a years puppy leave if I never get to use the maternity leave 🤔

Won’t deny there’s a tiny bit of me hoping it’s implantation and was a tiny spot with nothing yet today, buttttt I’d rather not get my hopes up. Certainly emotional enough for AF (am a stone hearted sort the test of the month while OH cries at movies!).

Get a cat! I adore mine with every fibre of my being, they are so therapeutic to stroke and have on lap, and loving...though there are crap cats out there. Eg the ones that bite Noodella! 😂 I have pedigrees and I feel a bit guilty when there are rescue cats out there but You know exactly what kind of personality you get. ditto Oxted, if I can’t get pregnant then I’m getting at least one more cat. 🤣

Also there are breeds of cats that are low allergy... 🤗

We will end up a bunch of crazy cat/dog ladies!

Ha, @Bambi, I campaigned for pet-ternity leave when I got my dog but it was unreasonably refused. But DH and I do both WFH a bit and the hound goes to doggy daycare on the other days! I realise how ridiculous that sounds!! It is like having a child :-D

Er I have two cats and a dog and would definitely get at least another dog and a cat if the OH would let me. If we had more of a garden I would also have chickens. And if we had some land I'd have some goats to milk and some pigs for the company (I could never eat them). This will be our life if TTC doesn't work out :) OH would be happy with just one cat, and if we ever split up that's what he'd get.

Anyone else finding all the first day at school pics a bit tough? I'm usually fine with all the Facebook posts about people's kids but so many are starting school today and they all look so excited and bushy tailed!

@Noodella18 hope it sticks. Step away from the tests for now!

Got an appointment with the gynaecologist next month to discuss next steps but with my work schedule we've missed three of the four fertile weeks since I was last at hospital. Grrr bloody work. Will try and get us into a routine of more regular sex when I get back from the next trip. I might sell it as core building exercise as he's been complaining that his stomach is feeling a bit loose after all the canteen dinners he's eating at his new place of work.

My dog comes to work with me half the week. She sits behind my desk and you wouldn't know she was even there except for the occasional smell, or a nose in your crotch if you're eating a sandwich at your desk. If you're having a particularly stressful day she's always good for a hug!

@noodella18 step away from the tests for now. There are lots of things which affect them at this early stage.

@melamine fx for you and the blob keeping the distance.

I am a cat person but haven't got one at the moment had to put our elderly lady to sleep end of last year and decided after 14 years of cats to have a little break before getting another.

Approx 6dpo here the uti thankfully had cleared up but still feeling a bit run down can't

Oops hit post to soon bloody phone...

Can't decide if I have sore throat or ear ache or a bit of both. Getting bored of body being a bit crap tbh. Looking forward to my holiday in a couple of weeks.

@79andnotout - I am so jealous you can take your dog to work with you. I would love that. Not sure everyone else would though as he is rather large. Think we were definitely mis-sold him - he is at least 3/5 horse !

@Blondcat - hope you're feeling better soon. Holiday will definitely help. I'm away from the 19th and can't wait. Although I am concerned about the amount of work I have to get through first. Not concerned enough to get of MN though tit seems!

Oh no, I've missed so much! How do you all keep up?

@Noodella18 congrats on your BFP!

@AstroKate I can't imagine how frustrating that must be. I think any little delay with TTC feels like an eternity, so you're totally entitled to feel annoyed.

I have a cat. I didn't like cats and never wanted one, but my exH did. By the time we got divorced I couldn't imagine life without him. He helped me get through the divorce and I think I felt less alone because I had him.

And to be honest, I think he likes my second husband more than he ever liked the first one. 😂

I love cats 💕 One of mine is currently purring away on my lap while i’m catching up with the thread. My friend’s bf has allergies, but he’s fine with her long haired cat for some reason.....

@AstroKate sounds like you’ve had a tough year I’d want to keep ttc too in your situation - sounds very frustrating!

@BambiOnIce I know what you mean about cocktails. Very annoying when you do without, for AF to appear anyway. Sometimes I have a mocktail and pretend it’s the real thing lol

I had my blood test results back and everything is fine apparently. DH’s turn next.

Hi @PixieN - did you get the specific results out of interest?

@AstroKate - I would definitely carry on TTCing too. I would definitely trust your consultant over the box ticking person. It just sounds like a pointless delay for the sake of repeating what you already know.

Hi @79andnotout - no, should I have asked for something more specific? I hadn’t heard anything back so I asked reception and they just told me that the results were normal.

Hi @PixieN I can't remember what tests you had but I had FSH and Progesterone and were told the results were normal (in a letter by post) but when I phoned up and asked for specifics I found out my FSH was 12.0 - which puts me in perimenopause and rules me out for IVF aged over 40 in my area, and my progesterone levels (day 21 tests) were 20 which is considered borderline for confirmation of ovulation. So, although I do just about fit into the normal category, the results were right at the bad end of normal.

I've had hormonal problems before (thyroid etc) so just like to have actual figures for my own records anyway, so I can monitor things over time.

Hopefully your 'normal' results were way better than mine!

Thanks @79andnotout I had progesterone- not sure about FSH. I hadn’t realised that there was a whole spectrum within what is classed as ‘normal.’ Sounds like it would be a good idea to find out the exact figures as you know where you stand then, but it is worrying! I know that some of you have Science backgrounds, which must help - I am useless at this sort of thing. Would you want to try IVF? I hate the fact that it’s a postcode lottery. Have you been offered anything else to help with ttc? There must be more support? I wish I was a bit more clued up!

Hi @PixieN yeah I'm one of the science nerds on here so I like to get immersed in the figures! I'm sure the medical staff sigh when they get me on the phone.
I've got an appointment with the gynae next month as his last advice was carry on for now. I'm fortunate to live in the north west which has the best nhs fertility help in the UK, I believe, but as my fertility markers are bad I wouldn't get any help post age 40, so I only have a year now. I think I'd like to get one round of nhs ivf in before I turn forty if we really go at it the next six months and still nothing happens. Then will feel like we tried our best at least. I've also saved some cash in case I need to go private.

If you just had progesterone then they were likely just checking you were ovulating and chances are it was a clear yes, which is nice.

@PixieN, I absolutely agree with @79andnotout - make sure you get actual numbers and the reference range for anything you're tested for. My ex had SA done and the receptionist told him it was normal (he was over the moon of course and gleefully said "at least we know it's not me"... can't imagine why we're divorced 😂). When we both went in for the follow up appointment with the doc to come up with an action plan, it turned out his forward motility was just below the reference range (queue his fragile male ego being destroyed and the beginning of the end for us; but I digress 🙄). The receptionist made a mistake because she wasn't used to reading the results and there weren't any flags generated in the computer system for that type of test 😕 I'm sure your progesterone level will be fine, but just a cautionary tale to make sure you ask for the reference range with results 👍

@Oxted2018 my DP works for an American company and they're looking at bringing in paid pet-ternity leave - I'm so fricking excited!! 🤩 I'd love a dog, but we can't really have one at work 😏 I've asked my boss if we could get a medical detection dog for the lab (to save money on analysers and expensive reagents for cancer markers, etc) and I promised I'd absolutely look after it... felt a bit like a 6 year old trying to convince my dad to get a puppy 😂 I will look into hypoallergenic cats too 🙂

@79andnotout, I'm heading to the docs for bloods after next AF. Have a sneaky feeling I'm peri-menopausal too 😒 Will be nice to just get the tests over with and know, one way or another. I've already checked out the lay of the IVF land for our health board too 😉 You've got to have been trying for 2 years and get 2 goes, 1 year apart, if you're under 40. In 2 years I'll be 40, so those rules mean I'll get 1 NHS IVF shot at best. Better than nothing 🤞🍀

Glad you're feeling better @Blondcat 🙂

@BambiOnIce80 good luck with the tests, I'm always interested to compare! One thing I haven't had is an antral follicle count which is the best indicator of ovarian reserve. I might pay for that myself if it's not offered to me as that would shape how soon to give ivf a go, or if the results are bad, then lower my expectations further. I already had an ultrasound to check my lining as I was having mid cycle bleeding every month, wish they'd counted my follicles at the same time! Maybe they did but didn't think I needed to know. Hmm.

@79andnotout, might be worth asking to go back through your intrauterine ultrasound result to see what there was to say about your follicles. Mine definitely checked out my endometrial lining and ovaries/follicles, so you'd imagine there's a good chance yours would have been as well if they're all following national guidance 🤞

Even though I was investigated 5 years ago, I bet that all counts for nowt now and I'll possibly have to go through the whole palaver again 🙄 A part of me hopes that the blood tests come back with a clear peri-menopausal result so that I can draw a line under it and move on from the craziness and uncertainty 😒 My fertile window starts today, so I think I'm going to have to dig deep for some positivity! 😂

Dig deep @Bambi and get cracking with the baby making!! I always have mixed feelings when FW comes around - it's nice to know that you can now be proactive but it puts the pressure on!

I have just been reading on AIBU (I'm addicted!) about a lady who is being regularly hit and verbally abused by her autistic 13 year old. It sounded like such a difficult situation and she, understandably, sounded so sad. It's just not something you (or at least I) really think about when TTC and it has given me a wobble. Maybe need to go and look at some cute baby pictures for balance...

@oxted I was reading that too (when I should be working, oops) and it was horrendous, and yes, made me feel a little freaked out! But I guess it's like anything, no point in worrying til it's actually happened.

Much like I am totally not worrying I'm in the midst of a CP. Not at all. [hmmm}

@Noodella - Have you taken any more tests?

@oxted Not yet... The FRER I did on Sunday was a solid positive, not a squinter at all, but I did have extremely concentrated wee because I'd got drunk at a wedding the night before Then the two tests I did the next two days were the much less sensitive ones and there wasn't much to see on the Monday and nothing at all on the Tuesday which freaked me out (and my boobs have stopped hurting too)... I'm concerned that I'll freak myself out even more if I do another FRER and get a fainter line because I'm not so massively dehydrated as I was on Sunday morning. Period is due tomorrow so grimly hanging on til then and if it doesn't arrive I guess I'll test on Friday...

Keep going fingers & toes tightly crossed for you Noodella.

I haven’t had any spotting today & The Blob was due yesterday (little bit of spotting then) so that’s... a thing. No testing till Saturday though, ie when Flo’s revised due date after my CD18 OPK... 🍀🍀🍀

Not sure where the ‘keep going’ came from there!