35+ TTC#1 Thread 3

[Blondcat]

We seem to have filled up our last thread so here is a new one.

A wonderful bunch of ladies supporting each other through the ttc journey when trying for a first baby after 35.

Goodluck to all ladies we can do it

@Oxted2018 those wobbles happen to me everytime I see a child in full meltdown and their poor parent trying to placate them/keep their 💩 together, which seems to be pretty much weekly! DP and I went to the zoo a few weeks ago and we both looked at each other and said "why do we want one of those again?? Let's adopt a penguin instead🐧" 😬 And yet that irrational longing for a baby is still firmly there...stupid hormones! My poor DP is going to have to dig deep today too - he started his day off by visiting our local hospitals "milking room" to produce his SA sample 😳 He's embracing the challenge of DingTD tonight though, even if it's been a while since we've been a twice a day kind of couple 😄

@Noodella18 I can't imagine how much waiting to find out what's going on is wrecking your head 😔 Please keep us posted, if you can face it.x

Ooh good luck ladies!

Yeah Bambi you will likely have to do all the tests again, five years is a long time in fertility time.

I'm also concerned about problems with a child at this late stage of conception. I'd hope my added years would help me deal with the problems a bit better, I would've had no chance in my twenties. Poor woman, it sounds insanely tough.

@Melamine, that does indeed sound like a thing 🤞🍀🤞🍀Roll on Friday!

@melamine - thanks! FX for you too. Good luck, keep us updated.

@bambi thank you. I'm actually not too bad, it's more of a low level worry mixed with impatience rather than a frantic pulling hair out kind of thing. I do want a baby but am slightly conflicted about things because getting family (mother) pressure to get married first. Even though I'm not going to bow down to her just because that's what she wants, in some ways I think it's making it easier to feel like I just need to detach from it and see what happens. Like it's ok whichever way it turns out? I get that sounds callous because of how much some people on here are struggling, and I do feel very very lucky just to be able to have a fertilised egg full stop! I guess I'm clinging onto anything that will stop me freaking out! Good luck tonight, maybe get some oysters in to help things along?!

@Noodella18 it sounds like you've got an excellent way of looking at things right now 😊 You don't sound callous at all! I'm still struggling between 'yes, I really want one/hmmm... do I?!' 😂

My kitchen fitting is still in full swing, so DP and I are currently eating out for a week and a half on the Scottish equivalent of Groupons (we do love a bargain 😉). Tonight's eatery only offers the humble burger, so I think oysters are out for this evening 😂 DP has been reading that chilli is a good aphrodisiac though, so whatever he'll be having tonight will need to be extra hot 🔥🌶️😉

@bamboo @melamine so I got myself into a bit of a tizz on my drive home and took a detour via boots on my way home, bought a 5 pack of cheapos (when gp partner has brought a million home from work!) and some FRERs, marched straight into the grotty b and q toilets and POASed! Had drink two big glasses of water before leaving work and hold was only about 90 mins and the wee was seriously so clear it was the colour of water and... faint positive on one of the 25miu tests! Definitely darker than the shadowy/non existent positive on the 25miu tests I did yesterday and day before. Woop! Going to do a FRER tomorrow morning with FMU and hope for a proper strong result!!

That should have been @bambi not bamboo!!

Awesome @noodella18!! I’m so pleased for you. Keep us posted tomorrow x

Enjoy the burgers Bambi (and the new Kitchen, I’m jealous!)

@79notout I’m not too worried about issues with kids due to age... yet. I’m not sure if I’d opt for the usual tests. Will cross that bridge when I come to it!

That’s great news @Noodella18 hopefully that’s put your mind at rest x

Thanks @79andnotout and @BambiOnIce I think i’ll ring my GP and see what the specific results were. Really appreciate the advice, especially as i’m not very clued up. This thread is great! My DH had a call from the Drs about organising his SA which he was a bit shocked by lol. Didn’t get chance to speak to him properly about it beforehand. He wants to give ttc a good go for a few more months first and I can’t really blame him. We’ve agreed to give it till Xmas then he’ll get tested if nothings happened by then.

I’m also worried about disabilities and how we’d cope. I know someone with an autistic child and her life is very hard. I’m also not very good with screaming babies, though everyone says it’s different when it’s your own!

Ooooh @Noodella18 that's definitely a line and a fabulous sign, especially if it's dilute wee! 🎉 I'm hoping for a picture of a strong BFP FRER tomorrow 🤞🍀🤞🍀

@Melamine, burgers were pretty good thanks 🍔😋 DP got extra jalapeños and chilli on his 🌶️🍆😉 We're off home for bake off and then DingTD... there's obviously no stronger aphrodisiac known to man than the GBB! 🍰😈😂

@melamine hahaha well I guess a Hollywood handshake does sound a little dirty!!

Phew, solid bfp this morning on FRER and also 25miu cheapy

Top pic is Sunday’s FRER, so I’d say that was a progression, I guess my hcg wasn’t high enough to detect on the cheapies on Monday and Tuesday (or the tests gp partner brought home from work are just shit!!)

@Noodella18 , beautiful lines this morning!! I think now you need to stay away from the tests and relax a bit!! It's all heading in the right direction! Everything crossed for you!

They are indeed beautiful lines @Noodella18! 🎉💐🎊 It wouldn't surprise me if the GP surgery tests were crap - you'd be surprised that they don't necessarily check the sensitivity (or even the expiry date!) of the devices.

Great stuff @Noodella18 that's a relief!

Conversation with OH last night about ivf since we have an appointment coming up and pretty much his only response to anything I asked him was 'I haven't thought about it' in a sullen voice. I bet anything that if it came to him having to do his bit for ivf he would back out. God this process is bloody difficult when it feels like you're extracting every bit of emotion or cooperation out of a sponge.

I'm going to book myself in for another AMH test and see how much my ovarian reserve has gone down since last year. Maybe it hasn't. Maybe I have time to find a man who knows what he wants!

Maybe I just go it alone and sod men altogether.

Sorry, ranty morning...

@noodella18 congratulations that is definite progress. As @russkispy said step away from the tests now

@79andnotout, never apologise for needing a rant! Rant away! Sounds like you had a particularly crap conversation last night 😔 It's odd how guys seem fully on board with TTC until things aren't straightforward 🤔

The ex was the one who instigated TTC way back, but as soon as we were packed off to the assisted conception unit he clammed-up. The rest is history. I've already spoken to DP telling him to have a really clear idea of whether he wants to go there with IVF or not. If he moves the goal posts when we're through the ACU doors I'll never forgive him. At the moment he's on board with the one cycle we'll possibly be entitled to, but I think that's where our line in the TTC sand would have to be drawn. It's not fair for me to move the goal posts either 🙄

Yeah @BambiOnIce80 that's great advice. I think a frank conversation after our meeting with the specialist next month and both of us deciding on a plan/compromise and neither of us moving the goal posts is a good idea.

If my AMH hasn't changed much then that takes some pressure off. I hope that's the case.

Our neighbours and friends are on their fifth round of ivf at the moment and that definitely colours things. He's probably worried we'd end up going the same path, but I know we wouldn't. It consumes your life.

I'm really worried about my ovarian reserve too @79andnotout 🙄 It was awesome 5 years ago... but that was 5 years ago and pre 6 cycles of clomid 😕 Time will tell, I guess🤞

5 cycles of IVF sounds horrific!! 😱 Your neighbours must have the most rock solid relationship in the world!! I know a couple who've had 3 rounds of unsuccessful IVF and sadly their marriage hasn't survived it. They're starting divorce proceedings as we speak 😔

Top news @Noodella18!

All sounds tough @79andnotout. Another test for your peace of mind sounds like a good plan.

The thought of the stress of IVF and it possibly ruining my lovely relationship would put me off. I did some idle research yesterday and my borough has a cut off of 39 & 2 years of infertility so I don’t think I’d qualify. Hopefully won’t need to find out.

On that note, still no sign of full period. Not allowing hope in...yet! 🤞 touches wood

@melamine keeping everything crossed for you.

I agree about the relationship stress for me I don't think I would want to go through it. We don't get any ivf here they took it away last year I think it was so if nothing happens naturally won't be going that route.

Crikey ladies! Talk about a post code lottery! 😲

Keeping everything crossed that AF leaves you alone @Melamine 🤞🍀

Fab news @noodella x

Fingers crossed for you @Melamine x

I know how you feel @79andnotout and hope you can have a discussion to come up with a plan together. My DH isn’t keen on the idea of IVF either so think we may need to have that conversation too at some point. I know what you mean about goal posts changing as my DH changed his mind about wanting children as I approached 30 and I really wanted them (deafening biological clock lol). We went from planning/dreaming of baby names and how we would arrange childcare to him deciding he didn’t want a child after all. It was a really horrible time and we split up for a while. Then we started working on our relationship again as I knew I wanted him in my life (and resigned myself to being childfree) and DH came around to the idea. Then I got cold feet lol and it was put off for a bit longer. I finally feel that we’re on the same page, but can see how ttc can drive couples apart. 5 rounds of IVF sounds hideous and completely emotionally draining. Like you @BambiOnIce I would be gutted if we needed it, decided to go for it and then DH changed his mind at the last minute. Don’t think i’d Forgive him either

Urgh. Im out this month. Can feel the starting cramps of AF & been spotting all day. Off to bed with a cuppa & a all the drugs to ward off the agony. Was pretty hopeful for this month too, gutted. Shouldbe guessed she was on the way when i was crying watching Hollyoaks earlier!!!

Ive been switched from mefanamic acid to naproxen for period pain because of the cost to nhs (M-acid is about 20x the cost of naproxen!), but it doesn't seem to work quite as well, i get pains in my belly & legs that make me unable to think, or stand up straight and the pain causes restless legs at night, i actually am fearful of them coming. I was on depo/cerazette from 18-35 because of the pain (obvs convenience too!), and just assumed wrongly that they'd be all better and easy when i was older. No such luck!! But the starting twinges give me the fear.

Need to get OH chased to get his SA done ASAP too, he's been dragging his heels for over a month. Sick of seeing the little pot and info leaflet in the house.
@pixieN my OH has changed his mind a few times over the years (been together nearly 17 years now) went from initially really keen "when we get a bit older" to (when my clock started to tick a little bit) definitely no kids, and only in the past 18 months since we moved from a flat to a house with a garden has he properly come round to the idea of kids . Not sure how he would be if the pressure mounts , with potential ivf etc though.