35+ TTC #1

[elisev]

Hi all,

Just wanted to start a thread for all of us over 35 just starting out.

I am: 36 (37 in Nov)
Cycle #1 CD 22

I've been 'prepping' my body for this for a year, lost weight, increased my fitness levels and been taking vitamins etc so I feel like I've been mentally preparing for this for AGES, as a result I'm finding the waiting game torturous! I've been tracking my cycles, 27 days average, and using OPK's - just started that this month. We dtd the day before getting a smiley face and then twice on the day we got one.

Are there others who feel impatient/worried like me because you feel time is not on our sides? So bloody stressful!

Glad you're enjoying Christmas Blueberry, hope the same is true of Pyjamas, Sooz, Hippy, Russki and all the others.
15 weeks Russki, exciting!

I had lots of cheese and cured meats yesterday and much less wine than I thought I would. Glad to see my family at Christmas. DH ever the optimist says maybe we won't travel next year if we have a newborn. I'm trying not to think about it for a few days and just live the moment we're in.
Anyway here's to the second day of Christmas 🍷

Now here's a turn up for the books: CD25, DPO13, no AF as yet (although several brief episodes of discoloured CM) & Fertility Friend is telling me that I'm past my normal luteal phase & should test.

I've also gone off alcohol but that could be just due to seasonal overindulgence (although most I've had has been 2 glasses of wine in one day).

Will do HPT tomorrow morning, but I still do not believe BFP is possible.

Hope everyone had a fab Christmas! I feel thoroughly fat ha ha

Sounds promising Blueberry - have my fx for you!

CD8 here and back on the opks - come on round 7...

@Pyjamas I think everyone feels fat this time of year ; I practically ate my own weight in patatas bravas on boxing day! Crossing my fingers that this month leads to BFP for you.

CD27, DPO14. Did HPT on waking & got clear BFN, but still no AF. What on earth is going on? I haven't a clue

I also feel fat. Will have to dress carefully for a few weeks until I lose my Christmas belly!

Blueberry will you test again tomorrow?

Meant to say I have fingers and toes crossed for you Blueberry, still in with a chance this year. So hope we're all celebrating Christmas with a new addition next year!

@jenebaguette - if you don't have a Christmas belly then you haven't been participating properly in festive fun! As for me am almost certain body is playing tricks on me & no BFP is forthcoming. Won't test again tomorrow but will pop to pharmacy and speak to a pharmacist.

AF this morning, boo! TBH I was expecting it; I simply didn't believe BFP was going to happen.

Cycle was very odd this month. I ovulated early on CD13 rather than usual CD16-18, as per OPKs, CM & BBT (so I don't think I made a mistake). Then luteal phase was 14 days, when it was usually 11 (max 12). WTF??!!

Better luck to the rest of you this month

Blurberry xxxxx

Sorry about af Blueberry our cycles were put on this earth to drive us batshit.

Back in Blighty after an overnight flight and did a cheap OPK which has just come out super positive and I backed it up with the digital which is a static smiley - I'm only on CD10 dammit! Has anyone had any experience with travelling messing with cycles this way? We haven't dtd over the last couple of days thinking we had more time - curses!

Blueberry, so sorry about BFN! How are you holding up? What are the next steps?
How's everyone else doing?
Hope you all had a nice Christmas 🎄

@pyjamas - definitely! How could my luteal phase be 14 days when it's always 11 & still BFN?! .

@Russ - we need to decide whether we try IVF. Consultant said delaying a month or two won't make any difference. Really didn't want to go down this route and not sure DP fully on board yet (he says we can "try harder" next month, but biology is against us ).

I'm OK although had a little wobble this morning, so DP just let me cry a bit & held my hand. TBH I was not expecting BFP especially after results of SA.

On the upside, I drank mulled cider, prosecco & wine at family wedding yesterday without any guilt!

Blueberry - have you though my about trying acupuncture? I have it every week and it's really helped to sort out my cycles - last month I had no period pain for the first time ever xxx

@hippy glad acupuncture worked for you. Haven't tried it, but am taking Maca and Royal Jelly, which are supposed to be hormone balancing and I have noticed PMS symptoms becoming lighter.

I have thought about looking into alternative treatment inc Chinese medicine & acupuncture, but as our problem appears to be with DP (motility) rather than me (nothing other than normal aged related reduced fertility found), am not sure it would help.

Hi all, just checking in. Sorry to hear about af, blueberry, periods have started to become things of mystery to me after mine has been so weird these past months.

DP and I officially not trying due to me wanting to fit into my dress in August, should fate decide to bless us with a bfp in the next few months. We're missing four cycles, first fw is now. Going to use the time to lose some weight (BMI just over 30 so not sure NHS would do fertility treatment on me if we get to that point. Plus I'm getting married!), get DP a SA as he'd need me to come with him to take it to the clinic, and just try to relax about the whole thing. We'll start again at the end of April. So nice to be thinking of something else for a change but a part of me worries that it's a stupid idea to leave it for a few months. Ah well, chances are it wouldn't have happened anyway so trying to focus on happy planning and hope to come back to it with a renewed sense of enjoyment. I'll keep popping in though, to see any bfps. Got my fx for all you guys x

Happy new year everyone!

Sounds like a break from thinking about ttc may be just what you need Sooz. Just don't get as stressed about wedding planning as I did - I'm still relieved it's all over nearly 9 months later!

FF has picked up ovulation, but as it's so early am going to carry on OPK testing this week just in case it's a false start (had happened before). Not temping though - have decided to only temp until ovulation picked up each month so I know when to test as I feel like it unnecessarily stresses me out in the two week wait. It doesn't really tell me anything until right at the last minute and then af arrives so I'd know anyway!

@Sooz - I recommend the app my fitness pal for losing weight. I got quite tubby in 2013 due to a long illness and I found it really helped. I set it to lose 0.5kg per week & I couldn't stick to the calorie count on the days I didn't do much exercise, but it didn't matter. I didn't do anything special; I cut out junk, ate more fruit, cut down portion size and started exercising again. I lost 7kgs, but quite slowly (best way). I would caution two things: do record everything (if you cheat you may as well not use the app), but don't get obsessed with calories. I found myself making lots of little changes eg no wine with dinner during the week, gin & slimline tonic in the pub, cutting down on cheese etc.

@pyjamas - I pay more attention to OPKs than FF as it seems to predict wrong and then correct itself afterwards (in line with OPKs).

Appear (according to OPK & EWCM) to be ovulating in next 48 hours (CD10-11??!!). What on earth is going on? Until last month (CD13), I was always ovulating around CD16-18. All over the bloody place .

Same this happened to me this month - ovulated on CD11 when usually about a week later! I'm blaming the long haul travel over Xmas ... Get into some dtd!

News!
After getting quite despondent after our latest cycle failed the night before my meeting with fertility consultant, having met him I am tentatively optimistic.
He was really nice! I was close to tears tho sitting in a waiting room with people in various stages of pregnancy! But he has ordered an hsg (which I thought I would have to do privately) and I am to do 2 more day 21, although he thinks I am ovulating and sure my tubes are probably fine.

I wasn't expecting NHS to care very much so I was pleasantly surprised! I believe I am entitled to 1 free cycle when I turn 36, which is in Aug but yesterday started looking into ivf abroad, although now I'm not sure what to do!
How is everyone else doing? blueberry are you coming up to testing time?
Sorry I have been away awhile but I needed some time out as was losing the plot!

@miraflores - glad you had a positive experience with NHS fertility consultant. Is it only 1 cycle on NHS? I thought NICE recommendation was 3. Is it CCG decision? Anyway you are young enough that you have some time. Belgium is world leading in fertility treatment and most health professionals speak very good English, but I'm not sure it's massively cheaper than UK especially with plummeting pound.

I am DPO5, but given erratic cycle behaviour this month and last and current strange lack of normal PMS symptoms (no progesterone surge?), I'm not even sure I ovulated. I therefore don't really know when AF is due, but I think I can be sure I'm not pregnant. With my age & DP's motility issue (Dr now advises only IVF with ICSI) it's extremely unrealistic to expect to conceive naturally. Chances are less than 5%.

I have an follow up appointment with fertility clinic the week after next, but DP is still dead against IVF, so I don't even know if he will come.

Hi blueberry yes it's a ccg decision to only have one cycle... how are things where you are?
I'm sorry I can't remember all your background but I remember that your oh is against ivf. I don't know what to say, I hope he changes his mind when he realises how much you want this.
Infertility is really a special kind of hell isnt it?
Are you getting support elsewhere in real life?

Btw blueberry thanks for the advice on Belgium I will look into that, good luck for ur next appt at clinic x

@Miraflores friends in Belgium were helped by Dr Celine Pirard at Cliniques St Luc in Brussels. I think older maternal age was the only factor; they have 3 lovely boys now .

DP not keen on IVF at all; he may well refuse. His view was try naturally & see what happens; if it works that's a bonus, if not life goes on. He is already a Dad (lovely teenage daughter), so he feels differently about this than me. But as only problem found so far is motility and only solution for that is IVF with ISCI (consultant said before ISCI they would have had to advise donor sperm in our situation), that doesn't leave any wriggle room .

I have a follow-up appointment next week at the clinic and DP won't come as he says he's heard enough about IVF already (he came to previous appointments).

CD21, DPO10. Have slightly tender boobs & spots (usual PMS signs). OPKs & CM says I ovulated on CD11 (very early!) and my luteal phase is 11-12 days, so AF maybe due Friday? . I'm sure no BFP (have been drinking ), as I'm not even sure I ovulated this month (couldn't verify due to BBT thermometer misbehaving)

We're going away for the weekend for DP's birthday, so perhaps being somewhere different & having quality time together will be a good opportunity to discuss things.