35+ TTC #1

[elisev]

Hi all,

Just wanted to start a thread for all of us over 35 just starting out.

I am: 36 (37 in Nov)
Cycle #1 CD 22

I've been 'prepping' my body for this for a year, lost weight, increased my fitness levels and been taking vitamins etc so I feel like I've been mentally preparing for this for AGES, as a result I'm finding the waiting game torturous! I've been tracking my cycles, 27 days average, and using OPK's - just started that this month. We dtd the day before getting a smiley face and then twice on the day we got one.

Are there others who feel impatient/worried like me because you feel time is not on our sides? So bloody stressful!

Thanks blueberry hope this weekend goes well for you. I feel bad that the journey has been so tough for you so far.

I'm on day 6 but I have completely given up hope of a natural pregnancy. At the moment am stuck as to whether to wait til august for an NHS ivf cycle or go abroad, with or without telling NHS (if we have a private treatment we'll lose the right to an NHS cycle) but one of the Czech clinics we approached wanted infectious disease screening, not sure how to get this without telling NHS...

@Mira as you're still only in your mid 30s (so good age for IVF success) why not do one cycle on NHS and then take it from there? Alternatively, get the infectious diseases screening done privately, then NHS won't know .

Just take care that NHS offer the most suitable treatment for your precise situation because that doesn't always happen. A friend had low & declining fertility in her mid 30s although NHS didn't explain this very well and insisted on trying clomid & other options for 18 months instead of IVF. By the time those options had repeatedly failed, her fertility had decreased so much IVF was no longer possible. She went to a private clinic, which told her that if they'd seen her initial test results, they'd have advised going straight to IVF and pretty quickly.

DP & I had a lovely weekend away (winter sun!) and he has now said that maybe we can try IVF. He didn't come to clinic appointment yesterday, but to be honest it didn't matter as it was just greater detail of IVF (timing, procedures, costs etc), which related to me not him (he already knows what he needs to do). Still no decision, but looking a bit more hopeful .

So glad things are looking up for you blueberry!

Hi guys, just checking up. Glad to hear DP is coming on board, Blueberry. Is probably try the one free NHS cycle first, mira, but we're all different.

DP and I still in our waiting window. He thinks it's silly to wait just because of a dress but it's been so good to have a couple of months relaxing. Af has come and I haven't been depressed about it, in fact almost excited because it means we're that bit closer to trying again. I've had my fitness pal app for years but used it only sporadically. This time, I've used it every day for 3 months and lost 7lbs so far! So that will help when it comes to IVF as I won't be as overweight.

So I think one more cycle (CD2 now) and then we'll start trying again, but I'll be relaxed; no opks, no BBT, just lots of dtd.

I will say though we're both considering adoption as an alternative. So we say "when" we have a child, not "if".

Hi all,

I am 41
I have 3 children who have grown up and left home. (Mad I know).
AF is due the 14th, no idea when or if I ovulated as only went by the predictions of my cycle.
Going to take a frer early response test tomorrow

Hello Sooz, good to hear that the few months off have been relaxing. Hope you have been enjoying your wedding planning and good luck when you start trying again.
No news to report here, waiting to see consultant to discuss options for the future but like you, DH and I are considering other ways of becoming parents.

Glad you're getting excited about your wedding Sooz. Hope it all goes well. Keep up the myfitnesspal; I lost 7kg (a stone?) using it.

Hi OldSchool41, crossing my fingers for you.

Like JeneBaguette I have nothing to report. The chances of us conceiving naturally are extremely low and DP has been feeling under pressure which makes them even lower (last 2 months no on target DTD at all).

DP not on board to try IVF, which is deeply upsetting for me. He doesn't say no, but he doesn't say yes, which is really no . He wants me to "move on", but that would leave a huge "what if" that I am not sure I can cope with. I could cope with IVF not working because although it would be distressing, it would be definitive.

This is causing a lot of tension between us and making me feel sad. I feel like whatever I do, I lose (chance to have children, DP or both) .

I'm 36 and trying to ttc #1. Came off the pill at the end of the May last year and have been properly trying since Sept. Should I make a GP app now (the NHS website suggest you may want to see your GP after 6 months if you are 35+) I know this is not a long time compared with many people but I'm worried that if we do need assistance to ttc then sooner may be better?

Have been tracking using CB fertility monitor (most months) and always seem to get a LH surge in day 13. Cycle length varies but last cycle was 27 days.

I don't smoke, rarely drink, exercise, normal BMI. I am taking folic acid. Is there anything else anyone would recommend?

Hi usernamegone, I have also been taking:

• coenzyme q10 (supposed to improve egg health, but evidence inconclusive)

• maca (supposed to improve fertility; only anecdotal evidence although tmreasonable evidence of its hormone balancing effect in menopausal women)

• royal jelly (hormone balancing effect)

My consultant said there's insufficient evidence for the coq10, maca & royal jelly in terms of improving fertility, but they won't do any harm. Dr did say to check vitamin D levels and supplement if needed (something to do with being a vegetarian and winter?). I haven't actually checked, but my preconception multivitamin has vitamin D in it (as well as folic acid & other stuff).

I've also cut down on caffeine (to 1 cup of caffeinated tea/coffee per day, then decaf or herbal the rest of the time) and alcohol (currently nothing for lent, but usually a few units per week then nothing between ovulation and AF).

I haven't got pregnant despite trying for a year, but given that although clinic found everything working, I am now 41 & DP was found to have less than ideal motility, so we're not at our peak .

Hi

So glad I've found this thread! Not had chance to read it all yet though. I am quite confused about all the abbreviations!

My story: 38 (39 in september), been with partner almost 2.5 years. Had been engaged to someone else at age 30, but 6 months before wedding he ran off with someone else. Cue years of nob heads and heartbreak!!! Until met my love. Wonderful (though not perfect - who is?!), sexy, funny as hell, moral, clever. Just lovely. We have decided to start TTC probably after this AF (due fri according to clue but had some bleeding this am which now seems to have stopped) as we move into the house we've bought together on 13 april and DP didn't want to start TTC until we knew that was a certainty as he knows stress really affects me. My diet is terrible and I drink too much. Though have cut down on this recently and been taking pregna-care pre-conception and trying to eat more fish and veg. Also used to have a lot of coffee so have switched to decaf. Weight isn't too bad though could do with dropping a stone to a stone and a half but ran a marathon last year so can't be in that bad shape!

Scared it won't happen and not really properly started on the OPK's yet though keep meaning to. Came off pill in december so cycle could settle and seems ok.

Help!!!!

Hi Coastalchick & welcome. From what I've learned:

• cut down alcohol & caffeine. Re alcohol if you can't stop altogether then cut down and try not drinking during "two week wait" (from ovulation to AF) then if AF comes you can have a drink & if not you're up the duff so won't care!

• take conception multivitamin & consider other supplements but be aware of weak evidence (see my previous posts)

• do exercise, but not too much; I was marathon training last year (running 4x/week and 40m/week at peak) when we started TTC and Consultant said that level of exercise wasn't advisable, but what I do now (3x per week 10-20 miles) is fine.

• use OPKs (I recommend clearblue dual one as it pinpoints up to 5 fertile days) and track your cycle (I use Fertility Friend). Before I did this I didn't know that I tend to ovulate later in my cycle but have a short luteal phase. This meant I falsely thought I was 5 days late and got dead excited .

• Also pharmacist told me that regardless of usual cycle length it's best to wait until 14 days after ovulation to do pregnancy test as hormone levels might not be high enough before that for test detection.

As for me, I've now entered land of no hope as DP won't agree to try IVF and after 1 year TTC with no result natural conception highly unlikely . Did manage to do one on target TTC this month, so a miracle might occur but am not holding my breath.

oh blueberry - so sorry to hear your plight. I have my fingers and toes crossed for you that it does happen. Please try not to give up hope (easier to say than do I imagine) x

Thanks for your comments - will def order the digital OPK. And using Clue but see on here some say it's not very good so will try some others too and the one you recommend. Bit thrown by an early AF (just been to bathroom and it's back) but last 2 weeks have been really stressful with at one point thinking we weren't going to get the house and my poor cat has had to have 3 operations and at one point we were really worried about him.

Drank loads at a mother's day lunch yesterday so going to try to completely stop for a while now

Current status: CD17, I think I ovulated on CD15/16, but need to wait for 3 days of elevated BBT to confirm (1st elevated BBT today). On target TTC took place on CD15.

Fertility Friend says AF due on CD27 (Friday 7 April), but cycle keeps changing, so who knows? .

In any case, highly unlikely to get BFP; it's been 1 year of TTC with no result, my egg reserve is low (as per AMH/AFC) although "good" for 41 and DP's motility was found to be suboptimal (although count/morphology were normal). Miracles welcome !

After saying I ovulated on CD16 (1 day after DTD - yeah small chance of BFP), which corresponds to CM, Fertility Friend now saying it was CD19 (no DTD on 5 days before - no chance of BFP ).

But as I started getting progesterone related PMS symptoms before CD19 (tender boobs), I'm not convinced FF is right. I think a faulty BBT (my thermometer is a bit temperamental) may be to blame. Anyone else have similar problem?

My luteal phase is usually around 12 days, so AF is either due next Sunday (1 week from now) or a week on Thursday. Talk about confusing!!!

My Babi in HD format done on Saturday, at 29+1. She's got my lips and chubby cheeks when I was a baby. She's smiling and chewing on the cord.

@Russkispy wow fab! How exciting! Hope you're keeping well too.

Thanks blueberry. Getting bigger and heavier but ok, otherwise. Thanks. And here's my bump 🙈🙈
How are you getting on?

Entering the land of no hope unfortunately . It is possible, but unlikely for us to conceive naturally (it's been 1 year & nothing), and DP doesn't want to try IVF. I did ask about Clomid/IUI but consultant said likely success rate not much different to natural conception, so he couldn't recommend.

There is I suppose a small chance I'm pregnant this month, but I'm not holding my breath. In the meantime, I'm eating even more healthily, have cut down caffeine to 1x/day, am taking oodles of supplements (CoQ10, maca, royal jelly) & have stopped alcohol entirely.

There isn't really much more I can do except get DP to TTC more often or change his mind about IVF. You'd think formee was obvious, but DP is a spontaneity bloke so if he knows it's my fertile window he gets put off/feels under pressure. Consultant told me this is not uncommon. I don't think there's any chance he changes his mind about IVF. It's causing tension as you can imagine.

Sorry to hear it, blueberry! Just don't understand why he's not wanting to try Ivf?! You want children whatever it takes bu he doesn't? So where's the relationship going since there's tension because of it?
But I'll try IUI nevertheless as you never know! It worked for us from the first time against all odds. I "prepared" my body with acupuncture and healthy eating and we did Clomid+trigger+IUI and it worked. Hope he'll be on board with you

Hi can I join in please? Not had a chance to read all the messages as there are lots but will do when I have more time later.
I'm 38 (39 in sep) and DH is about to turn 42 in May. Both been in previous long term relationships which didn't work. Met each other 3 years ago, fell in love and now desperately want a family but worry that we're too old! TTC #1 about 15 months or so. I came off the pill and have been having regular cycles (27-30 days) Have done some tests and looks like I'm not ovulating and last week found out my AMH is low for my age (4) We've both been eating much better, exercising more and taking pre conception vitamins. I don't smoke and am not drinking. I don't drink coffee but I've cut back on tea consumption.
Currently on clomid cycle 1 but D21 progesterone was only 25 which was a bit disappointing. Consultant wanted it to be over 30 to definitely indicate ovulation. Currently on CD29, no AF and BFN! No idea what's going on so waiting for AF or BFP whilst driving myself crazy!

@Russkispy DP was never as keen as me as he's already a Dad (teenager at university now) and feels a bit too old (he's 50) to go through it all again. He was up for trying to conceive but took the view that if it worked that was a bonus and if it didn't then oh well. I feel differently.

He was OK to try IUI but then consultant said not really worth doing and better do IVF. Then DP decided he didn't want to try IVF; not sure he would even do IUI now. He hasn't insisted we start using contraception again, but that's probably because he doesn't think we'll conceive.

DP thinks I just can't accept us not having children and that I need to move on. My problem is that without trying IVF (which would solve only problem identified so far; sub optimal motility); I will simply never know and it's the "what if" I struggle with. If we did IVF and it didn't work then that's it; it's definitive. So now am left not knowing what to do (except hope we get BFP against the odds).

Blueberry, a consultant in london also told me to go straight to ivf but I was hesitant and wanted IUI first.
And he's saying to move on but how can you without fulfilling your dream? To move on with him or without?
I'm really sorry you're going through this without his full support

anyone mind me joining?

DH and I are having to use a donor as he had the snip at 23! now 47, i'm 39 and feel like there is a massive clock hanging over me, we did try IUI 7 years ago without success, more settled now and about to try all over again.

dreading the 2ww and im sure aunt flo will be a nightmare, but here is to the scariest journey!

@Russ - DP means move on with him; just accept we won't have any kids and enjoy our life. Don't feel able to do that now.

Hi @Louste78, welcome. 39 is still young enough! A friend got married a few months before her 39th birthday and got pregnant right away (don't know if they were already trying). TWW's are horrid.

Currently DPO10 or DPO7 (depending on whether I'm right about when I ovulated or app is...). I have some mild cramps, but skin/boobs not as bad as usual. BBT still high. LP is usually +/- 12 days, so AF due either Sunday or next Wednesday. Waiting is tortuous!!! I'd have a drink, but I've given up alcohol for lent .

thanks @Blueberry1 sometimes feel really old! :O

CD13, still no +op......we are off to a wedding this weekend and Donor is away until sunday, will check monday see if we have a flashy smiley face...and then try!

I have 3 apps, all have same info from me yet I now have 3 dates for AF....22nd/23rd/27th......i dont drink but think this will drive me to it LOL :D