35+ TTC #1

[elisev]

Hi all,

Just wanted to start a thread for all of us over 35 just starting out.

I am: 36 (37 in Nov)
Cycle #1 CD 22

I've been 'prepping' my body for this for a year, lost weight, increased my fitness levels and been taking vitamins etc so I feel like I've been mentally preparing for this for AGES, as a result I'm finding the waiting game torturous! I've been tracking my cycles, 27 days average, and using OPK's - just started that this month. We dtd the day before getting a smiley face and then twice on the day we got one.

Are there others who feel impatient/worried like me because you feel time is not on our sides? So bloody stressful!

I've cut out caffeine completely because I found only having one made me a bit jittery, but I only drank coffee, and not tea or soft drinks, so it wasn't too hard.

I can't cut out alcohol completey in the two week wait. Not least because this year both Christmas and New Year fall then. I can guarantee when I inevitably find out I am not pregnant again early January knowing I denied myself one glass of champagne on NYE is only going to make me feel even worse and very foolish

Sorry, when I say I can't, I mean I don't want to.

I've cut down on alcohol in general, a lot of the time when I socialise I don't drink (this was a cunning plan devised ages ago so people wouldn't guess immediately when I got pregnant, but hasn't happened yet).
I don't drink in the 2WW - I crack open the wine as soon as AF arrives and I will definitely have some wine or champagne over Chrsitmas.

I had alcohol-free wine a few months ago when I was convined a BFP was on its way. Sadly it was not but the wine wasn't bad - tasted like a very young fruity wine.

I mainly drink herbal tea so no issues with caffeine there but my chocolate intake might bump up the numbers!!

Blueberry, that is so funny! But just so glad he's on board now!

received my NIFTY/Harmony test results today and it's all clear/low risk! Thank god! What a relief! And I'm having a Babi girl!!!! Absolutely surreal!!

How's everyone else doing/feeling!? Sending you all 💐💐💐💐🤗🤗🤗🤗

Great news Russki glad to hear it's all going well. How are you feeling?

Blueberry my fingers felt numb with cold reading your post. Thank goodness for the human at the end of the phone...so many "computer says no" types, glad you didn't encounter one today.

Insomnia is still killing me and nausea is still here, bad at bedtimes! Keep cat napping during the day and still going to acupuncture twice a month.

@jenebaguette - My alcohol intake has gone down as my running activity has gone up, so people are used to me regularly not drinking alcohol/drinking very little. However Christmas & New Year might be tough as many family events including a wedding when I'll be in 2ww. Not sure I will be able to refuse EVERY glass of bubbly .

@Russkipsy - Glad to hear it's all going well; just the usual pregnancy discomforts which of course you won't care about once your daughter is born . Also wanted to ask you (if you don't mind), how old you are. I ask because you used Clomid + IUI, which we are now considering (depending on SA results) and consultant said we could try, but due to my age (41), the chances are only slightly higher than TTC naturally.

Blueberry, I'm 40 and will be 41 in April. DH will be 42 in May. When I returned from working in Iraq in April this year, I found an acupuncturist who was preparing my body for pregnancy, from foods to vitamins to twice a month treatment. And we were trying naturally in the meantime which didn't happen and instead of waiting longer we decided for an IUI. And it was with clomid+trigger+DH's fresh prepared and washed sperm. And it worked from the first time! I'm still in disbelief as statitists are not that helpful. Prior IUI my doc suggested 3 attempts and then IVF. Thankfully we didn't need it. Really lucky! I asked her if she thought acupuncture helped me in any shape or form?! She believed so and told Me to continue with it. DH'a sperm was in good shape too as he was eating the same foods as he and taking vitamins for improving sperm quality. I'm still seeing my acupuncturist as we're going through milestones. The First trimester is almost over and then she'll treat me through week 20. And then it's up to me if I want to continue. Otherwise she'll then prepare me for the birth.
I really hope you'll get you BFP soon! And I'll be rooting for the other ladies!!

Thanks @Russkipsy, you're a , that's really helpful info. DP has now handed in sample at clinic for SA, so at least Consultant will soon be able to advise us more precisely.

And now my cycle has gone a bit mad. According to OPKs, I ovulated slightly earlier this month, as first high reading was CD11 and first peak reading was CD14 (EWCM matched this). In previous months first high was never before CD13 and peak was on CD15 or CD16, so ovulation was around CD16-18 (so FF said), but regardless, AF was always 12 days later, ie a consistent 11 day luteal phase.

Now FF is saying it can't say when I ovulated??!! This is probably because I've been doing BBT and missed CD15, 17 & 18, so crucial data is missing and temperature fluctuations are "too erractic". I got temperature dip on CD 14/peak reading i.e. before ovulation if OPK correct, and then temperature increase from CD16, which stayed high until this Monday (CD26). Monday was DPO10 if ovulation was CD15 and I got some pink CM, which I assumed was AF coming next day or so.

Am now definitely CD28, DPO12 ish??, but no AF. I surely cannot be BFP as both appropriately timed DTD attempts didn't work properly as DP too stressed . So what the hell is up? Where is AF? Should I do a test tomorrow morning just to exclude BFP?

Stranger things have happened @blueberry but it might be worth doing a test just to rule it out/put your mind at rest?

@spacecats that's what I was thinking. TBH I'm more worried there is something wrong than excited it could be BFP. One thing for sure am not telling DP he will think I've lost my mind!

No AF this morning so did test & was BFN (as I fully expected; I had no hope for BFP at all). Slightly worrying; if am not pregnant (as appears), then why no AF? Even DP noticed last night; I just told him "was due today or tomorrow", which isn't strictly true, was actually due Tuesday by my calculations.

I've had 2 cycles this year where I've been 3 or 4 days late for no reason. It's worth testing just to make sure.

I'm cd17 and no +opk and no BBT rise. Thank god I'm having bloods taken on three days next week because I've no idea what's going on. Haven't dtd "successfully" since Sunday so will have to do tonight and hope DP can relax.

@Sooz -when you were late were you sure when you ovulated? I did FF chart going back to July based on OPK, CM & AF, but only did it in September. This showed luteal phase always 11 days. So in fact when I thought I was 5 days late in August, I wasn't.

Still no sign of AF??!! If am not PG (BFN this morning) then what is up?

@blueberry I was two days late in July, I thought I knew when I ovulated and as a rule, I'm extremely regular. I did a test in the morning and AF turned up the next day. There's every chance you're just a bit late

Yeah, blueberry, I do opks and temp so pretty sure when I ov. My LP is generally 13-14 days. I hope it sorts itself for you one way or another soon.

blueberry any updates? Fingers crossed you get a good result

In other news epo has worked really quickly for me, don't usually have much vag discharge, now got loads! But now I'm worrying that I must have had some sort of deficiency the trials of infertility for you eh?
Am ovulating about now and me and dh put effort into covering fw really well , I'm hoping this makes all the difference. Hope it doesn't ruin xmas if I get another bfn

@mireflores crossing all the fingers and toes for you!

And yes, any update @blueberry?

@Miraflores - sounds like a very on target FW. Fingers crossed for an extra special Christmas present .

As for me, AF came properly today. Am kind of relieved as was 99.99% sure BFP was impossible, which was in a way more worrying (as in maybe indicating further declining fertility??).

DP now signed fine with trying IUI (assuming SA results OK for that), and can now talk about the possibility of IVF, though still not keen on it at all. This is progress and I have told DP what a he is for putting up with all of this.

I know that IUI and even IVF may not give us the result I hope, but while there is a chance (my fertility is not that low...), I feel I have to try all reasonable options in order to eventually accept (if that is what will be) that we can't have kids. Of course I hope for a different outcome! A friend in a similar situation/same age, had failed to conceive for a year and was about to start IVF when she got pregnant naturally, although she knows they were very lucky.

blueberry that's great news, I'm really pleased for you as I know you were worried that he wouldn't be up for treatment at all hope this cycle is the one!

Yay, blueberry, great to hear DP is on board. Fx you won't need more treatment but it's good to know you're both on the same page for potential next steps.

mira, am also ovulating (pos opk today) and dtd yesterday "successfully", so feeling positive about this cycle (positive thinking is my new thing about all this). Determined not to let a bfn ruin my Christmas! I'm glad to hear the epo has worked wonders. Do you use preseed or similar? DP and I have found that really good to boost EWCM-feeling as I get a day or two but not loads.

Fx to us all. Let's hope for some Christmas bfps on here! :)

Hi sooz we have used pre seed but sometimes have difficulty with the applicator!

I'm not a tampon user so not as sure of my anatomy down there as I should be! -have ended up jabbing myself a few times-

@SoozC, crossing my fingers you get a very special Christmas present

My next 2ww will fall exactly over Christmas, so not drinking at all (as I have in previous months) might be a bit difficult without drawing attention to myself. Luckily my reputation as a light drinker & the fact we're running a 10km race on Boxing Day (why??!!!) might help .

Clinic now saying we need appointment with consultant following DP's SA (he hasn't had results letter yet) and they postponed the HyCoSy I had booked for Friday. Not sure what this means. My guess is that SA was not tip top and clinic will advise IVF is only option. I hope I'm wrong as DP still not keen on idea of IVF and I prefer to avoid if possible.

Are you at private fertility clinic blueberry? Hope u get appt soon, it seems cruel to leave you on tenterhooks like this... hope you are wrong and you don't need ivf.

Afm I'm in 2ww about 8dpo took an ic hpt bfn obviously, I was feeling quite hopeful but starting to diminish now which seems to be the pattern for me now. I'm pretty much convinced we'll need ivf.
But being gloomy isn't helping anyone so trying to take more pleasure in things I can control, trying to keep positive mental attitude like some ladies I've read on other threads. I do have a job, my husband and my house and I'm lucky to have them.

@miraflores - I like your attitude . I should remind myself of the positives in my life more often. Am crossing fingers for BFP for you this month!

FYI a pharmacist advised me not to test (even if AF definitely late) until 14DPO as before that hormone levels likely to be too low to detect BFP.

DP has now got SA results letter, which says something like (I haven't seen it as am at work) natural conception is possible as long as partner ie me, doesn't have problems, but chance is low, which is a bit vague. They didn't do FSH levels or HyCoSy on me yet and have cancelled (postponed?) my HyCoSy appointment for tomorrow. We have follow-up appointment at 16.00 today to see consultant. And yes it's a private clinic; as am over 40 & trying for less than a year, I wouldn't qualify for NHS treatment.