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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

35+ TTC #1

999 replies

elisev · 02/08/2016 10:49

Hi all,

Just wanted to start a thread for all of us over 35 just starting out.

I am: 36 (37 in Nov)
Cycle #1 CD 22

I've been 'prepping' my body for this for a year, lost weight, increased my fitness levels and been taking vitamins etc so I feel like I've been mentally preparing for this for AGES, as a result I'm finding the waiting game torturous! I've been tracking my cycles, 27 days average, and using OPK's - just started that this month. We dtd the day before getting a smiley face and then twice on the day we got one.

Are there others who feel impatient/worried like me because you feel time is not on our sides? So bloody stressful!

OP posts:
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miraflores81 · 21/11/2016 22:44

Sorry to hear what you've been going through blueberry but glad to hear you've persuaded your OH to do SA and IUI that sounds like a real achievement and step in the right direction. Really hope it works for youFlowers
I got some results back from our (private) fertility clinic on Sunday, and fortunately they all look fine. We are considering hsg but thought we would discuss with gp first. Gp said that the NHS fertility clinic might ask gp to get hsg done, which surprised me because I thought you would have to have had to have seen a fertility specialist first. Maybe our gp was wrong but has anyone experienced getting hsg before referral to fertility clinic? If the NHS fail to offer us hsg soon we will probably get it done privately in January. Am still in two minds to wait til I'm 36 for my free NHS ivf cycle or try a private cycle, possibly abroad...
How is everyone else doing? I'm cd5 and bleeding heavilySad very odd period this month. Hoping cycle 14 will finally get me my bfp!

miraflores81 · 21/11/2016 22:57

Oh by the way, spacecats will the NHS not give you any free treatment in your area? It's crazy this NHS lottery business...
I'm now on my 14th cycle and no sniff of bfp either Sad but hey, got to keep positive mental attitude, let's hope little Christmas puddings for us all!
(Thanks baguette for coining that phrase!Star

SoozC · 22/11/2016 07:21

Ah blueberry, that sounds hard. Hoping things settle down for you soon. Big hugs.

SpaceCats3 · 23/11/2016 11:25

Hi all thanks for the welcome. Took a few days out to try and cheer up, sort of worked. Now only cry a couple of times a day, rather than a couple of times an hour.

@mireflores81 sadly not. I live in Essex, and as others may have mentioned, in an unexplained situation, they will not pay for any treatment until we have been trying for three years. If we absolutely stretch how long we have been trying it will be two years in March, so I would be nearly 39 by the time we are entitled to anything. In principle we could just keep trying until then, but we know that if it ends with IVF the success rate goes down, so we don't really want to leave it that long. I'm also hoping that going down the private route might throw up an issue the NHS don't test for (wishful thinking I am sure).

On the HSG, we were referred for that by the NHS gynaecologist that our GP referred us to. I thought it was one of those 'hospital things' not a GP referral thing.

@blueberry1 sorry to hear this is causing issues with your OH. Does he understand how you feel, but just feels differently?

I had a very odd period last month, spotting spread out over several days and then only dark brown bleed, not a proper period, so I was relieved things went back to normal this month (albeit two days earlier than I thought, because i don't think i calculated my cycle properly last month as the period was so odd). Currently on CD 8.

I would love a Christmas surprise but OH has come down ill this week, so we've only managed once and I think was just on five days out from ovulation so probably a bit too early, and I'm not sure that we'll manage it again.

That said, bar one month when he had to go away for work, we've done exactly what we should do in FW every month this year and it still hasn't bloody worked...

I have decided to see an osteopath about my back problems. I've previously seen a physio but nothing really helped. Very mixed views on whether this could help but probably more helpful than reflexology or buying a spell which obviously I have never done

miraflores81 · 23/11/2016 13:54

Sorry to hear that spacecats hope you get ur bfp soon. Why are they such tight arses in Essex?!Flowers
If it comes to it what are ur thoughts on ivf abroad? (Iam considering this)...
So sorry we all have to go through this...

SpaceCats3 · 23/11/2016 14:29

well, I just had a bit of a whinge at the OH that if we (still) lived in London we'd be entitled to IVF on the NHS already and he said that he'd still go private because the success rates are better and it'd be all the same discomfort for me, but at least going private we have a better chance. IDK if that is true, but it made me feel better

SpaceCats3 · 23/11/2016 14:30

Haven't thought about IVF abroad tbf, maybe we should. My gut instinct is no, because of the travelling time off etc, logistically it seems difficult. But I don't really know enough about it to know if that would be an issue. I suspect OH will be more trusting of UK medicine (but he doesn't know much about it either)

Freedom2016 · 23/11/2016 14:42

Hello. When I was 35+ and ttc #1 I often wanted to shout at people who told me it would happen eventually and to just relax. So I wont do that, just mention a happy end - It finally worked out after 5 years and 2 miscarriages so it does happen. Western medicine didn't work for us - hormones and IUI - so we went to a Chinese dr before moving on to IVF. I had success conceiving and sustaining a pregnancy with the Chinese alternative practitioner.

Good luck to you all. It's very hard.

Lexilooo · 23/11/2016 18:55

Hello everyone, I have just finished readING the entire thread! Phew!

Hope you don't mind me joining in?

Congratulations to Russkispy.

Anyway I am nearly 38, DH is 43 and I'm not actually trying yet but I am on here doing my research and trying to work out what the chances are!

I never really planned to have children but have recently started to feel differently. Not sure how much of that is panic that it will soon be too late and how much is finally feeling like a grown up!

Have got to get my coil removed and get DH on the same page before I can do anything but it is really helpful to know what other people are going through and what I could be letting myself in for!

SoozC · 23/11/2016 19:56

Welcome, Lexi. There are people in many different places here (as you'll know from reading the whole thread - crazy!) and I find the info and support a real help. To know there are others going through it is a real boost.

Lexilooo · 23/11/2016 22:07

Hi Sooz 🙋

miraflores81 · 24/11/2016 17:14

Just thinking shall I update the thread with all our stats? If you could all put updates with testing dates etc...
Any lurkers out there feel free to join!
(I might not get around to it tonight but will do it soon as I can..Halo

SoozC · 24/11/2016 17:54

Okay:

Sooz
35
Cycle 10
Etd 14/12 (DP's birthday!)

SpaceCats3 · 24/11/2016 20:36

SpaceCats
35
Cycle 15
Etd 11/12

JeNeBaguetteRien · 27/11/2016 19:59

Baguette
36
ETD 21/12

Have had some basic tests so far, levels of LH and FSH in normal range, Progesterone test results did not definitely inidcate ovulation (though I got Clearblue smiley face?) so may be repeated.

Welcome Lexi...this group must be due a few BFPs soon.

SpaceCats3 · 27/11/2016 20:13

Welcome @Lexi!
You're right @Baguette, here's hoping for Christmas babies for all of us.

Either way this is going to be the lowest booze Christmas for me in many years

Hopefulbunny · 27/11/2016 20:21

Hopefulbunny
35
ETD 13/12

What are you all doing about drinking during the festive season ?!

Hopefulbunny · 27/11/2016 20:24

Welcome Lexi . I'm with you on the not planning to have children issue in a way, I've always be a bit undecided up until I turned 35! Now I'm obsessively over it!

Hope you all have BFP 's soon!

miraflores81 · 27/11/2016 21:20

Here we are so far!

Sooz
35
Cycle 10
Etd 14/12 (DP's birthday!)

SpaceCats
35
Cycle 15
Etd 11/12

Baguette
36
ETD 21/12

Hopefulbunny
35
ETD 13/12

Miraflores
35
Cycle 14
ETD 17/12

Here's to a lucky Christmas month for us all!
Hopeful I'm not a big drinker but I'm not going to completely abstain for the slim chance of getting pregnant, I don't know... if you've got a good sticky bean then there's not much that can shift it, at least thats what I've heard and it's a somewhat convenient truth!
Good luck all
Welcome Lexi!

SpaceCats3 · 28/11/2016 09:04

@Hopeful and @Lexi I was exactly the same until I turned 35, and then we took about six months to both get in the same place (OH is about 4 years younger than me)

On the drinking. We've instituted a no binge drinking rule, so if we have a social occasion that we want to go and enjoy, it's 6 units for me and 8 units for him. We've also cut out the mid week drinking and occasional glass of wine at home. Obviously it wouldn't work if we were 'not binge drinking seven nights a week' but across the events we do have it doesn't work out too bad. I have an event a couple of days before my period is due, and then my work do is about 4/5 days after. I honestly don't believe a couple of small glasses of wine will hinder conception, we're more thinking about overall fertility.

Quite frankly this is all miserable enough without a cheeky prosecco.

miraflores81 · 28/11/2016 10:56

Hear hear! spacecats Wine

Blueberry1 · 29/11/2016 13:57

Blueberry 41
Cycle 9
ETD 30/11 (tomorrow, but pointless as this month's FW was missed entirely*).

  • in a way it's been a sort of break not to stress (aka incessantly symptom spot) this month because 0% chance of BFP.

I've finally got DP on board (yeah Grin!) with doing SA, got "kit" from clinic, fixed a time to drop off sample, and arranged to work from home so I could do that. So far so good.

However, DP found the "produce sample at X time" a bit stressful (like "TTC today cos I got a smiley face") especially with me in the house. So I sat in the garden (in this bloody weather) with my laptop until my fingers nearly froze (gloves & typing don't go together Wink). Then DP phoned me (I guess he didn't want to shout out of the window in case any neighbours heard..) and said he can't manage by the allotted time (it was getting too late). AAHHH!!!

Anyway I called the clinic and very kind embryologist said he can drop off a sample anytime tomorrow from 9am to 3pm, which is much better for him. Needless to say I will NOT work from home tomorrow.

Blueberry1 · 29/11/2016 14:13

@SpaceCats @hopefulbunny for some time I've cut down alcohol to 3-5 units per week normally and nothing during two week wait. I've become a fan of Fentimans soft drinks (Elderflower; very refreshing!), so I'll continue that during festive season.

I've also cut down caffeine to one caffeinated drink per day. This is based on me reading up on alcohol and caffeine risks (from reputable sources).

SoozC · 29/11/2016 16:12

I've been drinking decaf with the odd caffeine coffee for a while now. Alcohol I've been avoiding but not abstaining, so I had one on Sunday at pub lunch. I don't think a little on the odd occasion will hurt.

Blueberry you did make me laugh with the whole SA thing! My DP hasn't done his yet because he'll have to do it at home as he says there's no way he can perform at clinic! Getting me checked first.

Blueberry1 · 29/11/2016 17:09

@SoozC your alcohol and coffee approach sounds sensible. It's easy to get obsessed about these things. A friend who went through several (sadly unsuccessful) rounds of IVF got a bit neurotic; she went as far as only eating organic food and refusing to use her mobile phone!

This morning was a bit funny, in a "how did we end up here?" sort of way. I did think WTF am I doing trying to work in the garden in the freezing cold while DP is in the bathroom (like your OH he couldn't counter trying in a clinic) trying to think lustful thoughts? Wink.

For future reference, clinics have produce at home kits and sample has to get to the clinic within an hour of it being produced.

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