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These be our very C's & our U's 'N our T's proudly JSing their way to poetic BFPs in #49.Together we Shall take off our robes (to shag),put on our crowns (to copulate);we have/immortal longings in us!

999 replies

Augusthomotherium · 10/06/2015 19:57

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

  1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
  2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
  3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
  4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.
  5. Thou shalt not be offended by the word vagina.

JSing lingo


ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also known as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit), or PIATLH (Tea light holder), PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage (Self explanatory, who wouldn't?)

ROC = Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Optional decorations include photographs of controversial political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like Something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband (or Cuntraband) = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

SOTM = Shagger of the Month. Awarded with varying regularity to those viroids who go above and beyond EOD shagging in pursuit of that BFP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedingering!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing A Lemon = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

Miroid - The male compadre of a viroid

Cat - Compulsory

Skittletits - Killer molten painful tits and nipples

Ghost jizz/goat jazz - When the amazing foof sucks up all the jizz - achieved when coming at the same time/nearly the same time.

The link to Part 47 is HERE

The current Grads Fred is HERE

The current Mumming Fred is HERE

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is HERE

The Fred about 'how wooode' our Fred is darlings can be found HERE and HERE

Stats sheet is HERE

The JustGiving page to donate in memory of TinyChat is HERE

We are the dark side of MN... Welcome!
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31
ThursdayLast · 12/06/2015 20:37

Oooooooooh Ben & Jerrys good plan Grin

justtheonethen · 12/06/2015 20:40

Hi viroids. Not had a chance to read back so I'll just dispense gin and hugs as necessary!

NFMV: af reappeared for an hour.

I temped for first time! Hurrah! Quick question, under or over the tongue? For the th

justtheonethen · 12/06/2015 20:40

Oops too early! For the thermometer obvs!

justtheonethen · 12/06/2015 20:44

Ben and jerrys. Ooh yes! Which flavour? I'm drinking wine and eating dominos! What's with all the weight loss on here? Can't we just shag more? Bet you're all bloody gorgeous.
Anyone else totally have an image in their heads of everyone? Also occasionally look around train carriages etc wondering if any js'ers are near!

justtheonethen · 12/06/2015 20:50

thursday that's what I'm doing! Is everyone else shagging or something?

WouldRatherHaveWine · 12/06/2015 20:53

just I think everyone else is gorgeous. No chance of bumping into anyone though Sad

ChatEnOeuf · 12/06/2015 20:54

No shagging here, DH returning from a week in Amsterdam with pizza...still can't stand the smell of red wine such is the weirdness of my body.

Just, no idea. Is contraband, I know nothing of such things...I'd guess under.

ThursdayLast · 12/06/2015 20:57

No shagging for me - DH gone out. Also he thinks my periods are longer than they are BlushGrin

I ate ice cream too, inspired by you lil. I'll run it off tomorrow.

ThursdayLast · 12/06/2015 20:58

Oh yes, sorry Just I've absolutely no idea re; temping.
Waaaaaaay too much of a noob

justtheonethen · 12/06/2015 21:00

Did he bring the pizza back from Amsterdam chat

thursday so does mine! I thought I was the only one!! Ha ha!

justtheonethen · 12/06/2015 21:01

Why not wine? Are you an Eskimo or something?

CountryGal4 · 12/06/2015 21:02

Under the tongue just weird. Your fanjo wins bonkers fanjo of the month!!
Haha I do the same. Actually completely convinced I got vit advice off of one of you in holland and Barrett!! Id love for everyone to draw a picture of what we imagine eachother to look like.

ThursdayLast · 12/06/2015 21:04

Hehe, poor DH. Though he looked so tired this evening I don't think he would have been up for it any way.

Who am I kidding? Of course he would. A very reliable husband for when specifically timed shags are necessary Grin

That does seem a long way to go for pizza Chat Grin

lildottie · 12/06/2015 21:09

under the tongue just, why would you ever take a temp over? Confused

poor dh is very well informed on my cycles by now! He could probably tell you how long af is, when i usually ice, what my pre and post ov temps usually are and how long my lp is!!

As for the ice cream, fudge brownie. I feel guilty and fat and full now! only had about quarter of the tub (dh is now finishing it!)

And as for what people look like, the facebook group was a real eye opener!!

justtheonethen · 12/06/2015 21:09

Ha ha did your holland and Barrett woman start talking about cm? Yes let's all draw a pic! Ha ha. In so curious about what you look like, I'm not a stalker promise!

CountryGal4 · 12/06/2015 21:11

Know she just knew actually what vits to take as she was taking them and suggested vits for dh without even asking. Which one of you was it! Own up!!

Ok what do you reckon I look like hahaha

5hell · 12/06/2015 21:13

just under under under

Came home from work to a v horny dh so evening started with a shag, then dog walks, wine, dinner n now tfi friday which is making me feel old young n nostalgic all at the same time sigh

justtheonethen · 12/06/2015 21:16

Quarter of a tub? You should be ashamed of yourself. Half a tub is mandatory!

Facebook group? Do you all know what each other look like?

CountryGal4 · 12/06/2015 21:19

Half a tub... Can nail a whole tub no problem. I'm on the fb group anonymously and as only on here on my phone haven't looked at others profiles. I must say as this shit goes on I'm getting less and less bothered about outing myself

justtheonethen · 12/06/2015 21:19

I'm watching it too 5hell! Feeling old!

I thought under, that's what I did, just wanted to check! Can't cope with the temp in centigrade, no idea what 36.35 is in real temperature!

country obviously I know what you look like, you're me!

lildottie · 12/06/2015 21:21

There's quite a few of us on there. if anyone wants an add pm me your email address - the one you use for facebook

and i know, but i'm not a massive fan of chocolate ice cream - i plan to finish dh's cookie dough!

lildottie · 12/06/2015 21:21

why didnt you buy a farenheit one then Just!!!!

justtheonethen · 12/06/2015 21:23

Ditto, whole tub usually. Dp knows not to bother asking for more than a spoonful! I am a massive pig for ice cream and cheese, oh I bloody love cheese, and bread and all carbs

Am I the only one not on the fb group? Doesn't it come up on your feed etc? I am also getting less and less bothered about outing myself but perhaps not to my whole fb list!

I'm actually getting more and more convinced that country is my real life best friend, who is also ttc and is always same place in my cycle! You're not Irish are you?!

WouldRatherHaveWine · 12/06/2015 21:23

What is the Facebook group? A ttc one?

justtheonethen · 12/06/2015 21:24

I thought I was lil! I just bought the babymad one and didn't check!

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