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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

These be our very C's & our U's 'N our T's proudly JSing their way to poetic BFPs in #49.Together we Shall take off our robes (to shag),put on our crowns (to copulate);we have/immortal longings in us!

999 replies

Augusthomotherium · 10/06/2015 19:57

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

  1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
  2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
  3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
  4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.
  5. Thou shalt not be offended by the word vagina.

JSing lingo


ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also known as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit), or PIATLH (Tea light holder), PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage (Self explanatory, who wouldn't?)

ROC = Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Optional decorations include photographs of controversial political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like Something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband (or Cuntraband) = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

SOTM = Shagger of the Month. Awarded with varying regularity to those viroids who go above and beyond EOD shagging in pursuit of that BFP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedingering!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing A Lemon = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

Miroid - The male compadre of a viroid

Cat - Compulsory

Skittletits - Killer molten painful tits and nipples

Ghost jizz/goat jazz - When the amazing foof sucks up all the jizz - achieved when coming at the same time/nearly the same time.

The link to Part 47 is HERE

The current Grads Fred is HERE

The current Mumming Fred is HERE

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is HERE

The Fred about 'how wooode' our Fred is darlings can be found HERE and HERE

Stats sheet is HERE

The JustGiving page to donate in memory of TinyChat is HERE

We are the dark side of MN... Welcome!
OP posts:
Thread gallery
31
Jcandy · 15/06/2015 06:47

Totally believable honey! But what are you going to use for your 'pissing every day to see the line get darker'?

Hobbit19 · 15/06/2015 06:53

Eeeeeeep!!!! Those are LINES Honey!!! Very excited for you my dear!!!! Grin

Ain626 · 15/06/2015 07:01

honey !!!! Yay!!!! So excited for you! That has definitely made my Monday morning.

Grin Grin Grin

justtheonethen · 15/06/2015 07:11

honey eeeeep! Bloody brilliant news! Congrats darling

honeysucklejasmine · 15/06/2015 07:28

Thank you! Its a huge surprise! Had pretty much given up hope... Seeing consultant tomorrow! Need to phone and ask what to do, considering it was to discuss fertility problems!

JC you naughty bugger, obvs not encouraging me! Ha, erm, have one more superdrug cheapie in cupboard, and one more IC too. might buy some more if still preg next week

bellybuttonfluffy · 15/06/2015 07:34

Woo hoo! Congrats honey!

CountryGal4 · 15/06/2015 07:36

Honey wtf I go disappear for one bloody day!! Nice one :D

Chat glad it was lovely for Sam. Hope you're ok

LaLaLaaaa · 15/06/2015 07:41

Waaaaaaaaaaaaajhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!! Fucking get in!!!

Honey!!!!!! I'm made up for you - congratulations!!!!!!! Yaaaaay!!!!

jellypi3 · 15/06/2015 07:43

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Actually a bit teary eyed here! Hormones I swear!!! I'm so fricking over the moon for you honey :) :) :) well fucking done! We weren't that out of sync after all Wink

DulcetMoans · 15/06/2015 08:05

OMG congrats honey! I can't see the pictures yet (but will because I want to see all the many tests!) but I think others reactions are clear that you are UPDUFFED!

Tinkfromlovejoy · 15/06/2015 08:07

Yay! Back off hols to that amazing news! Congratulations honey - so pleased for you! Now feet up and legs crossed and get thee to the grads! Flowers

Fleurchamp · 15/06/2015 08:08

Congrats honey awesome news Grin

honeysucklejasmine · 15/06/2015 08:10

Aww, you are all so lovely! DH and I are dead chuffed. Will phone consultant secretary today for advice re appointment tomorrow!

Will say hello on grads, but not going to get carried away yet. I want to make it past five weeks first!

totally haven't been lusting after pushchairs this morning

lildottie · 15/06/2015 08:15

honey yay! congratulations! really hoping for a sticky bean for you Thanks

Purpleball · 15/06/2015 08:21

Awww honey congratulations. I'm delighted for you lovely. Gx for a sticky bean Smile

stoatystoat · 15/06/2015 08:29

honey wonderful news, lovely start to the day. Stats?

pud Hmm. Yes. I was supposed to go to the GP last week but had to cancel because of a work commitment so do need to rebook. I don't quite know what to do about it. There is only one doctor at my practice that I would want to see regarding it. The problem is getting to see her when I'm having a bad day, like yesterday would have been great as I was crying all day but it was a Sunday. And last time I saw her, I had pre arranged the appointment and was having a better day. I think now we can all agree (you poor buggers, my poor family and DH) that my mc grief has segued into depression (which is not surprising, I've suffered from it before). I just am at a loss as to how to tackle it. I'm having counselling weekly (my last session was especially helpful). I have an interesting (albeit unstable) job that means likely no maternity leave or job to go back to. I run fairly regularly so getting exercise. I'm getting out a bit. I have previously been on antidepressants and don't have issue with them per se, but I would rather not be taking them when TTC and supposing I do get pregnant, wouldn't be keen on being on them. Me and everyone around me are just at a total loss. I have been better since DH got home and so as controlling as it sounds, I think it's best I am not left alone for the time being. I wasn't expecting to be like that, pre mc he went away regularly and I was always ok with it so it did rather blindside me.

honeysucklejasmine · 15/06/2015 08:30

Yes indeed! Stick, little bean, stick!

lildottie · 15/06/2015 08:32

if we all think glue like thoughts maybe that will help honey!

stoat honey posted stats at 5.13am

gaggiagirl · 15/06/2015 08:36

Honey waaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! That is all!

stoatystoat · 15/06/2015 08:44

Damn I missed that (haven't had a coffee....). STICK!!!!!

honeysucklejasmine · 15/06/2015 08:54

Eugh, 5.15 am! Why do I always poas so EARLY?! fucking creepy pregnancy dreams, that's why

ThursdayLast · 15/06/2015 08:55

What wonderful news to wake up to!
honey congratulations!

SockQueen · 15/06/2015 09:04

Woo, congratulations honey - what a fab array of BFPs!

Cake looks brill too, nutty

NFMV: Managed to get a drunken shag out of DH on Saturday night when he finally got home. Back on nights again, and contraband is not being helpful - they were starting to get darker late last week, but then faded to almost nothing yesterday. Good news is that I have lost 4.2kg in the last 4 weeks, fingers crossed I can keep it up!

ColdFeetWarmHeart · 15/06/2015 09:34

Congratulations honey Grin Flowers Cake Cake Brew Biscuit Flowers Cake Flowers Cake Flowers

WouldRatherHaveWine · 15/06/2015 10:04

honey I'm so pleased for you, congratulations sweetie!! I will miss you on here when you and your sticky bean bugger off to the grads