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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

The 37th Just Shaggers are on their way! Watch out for accidental erections and bruising injections, polish your perfect ovaries, we're climbing a mountain and digging deeply to get our BFPs!

999 replies

honeysucklejasmine · 14/01/2015 16:46

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

  1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
  2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
  3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
  4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo


ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also know as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage. Self explanatory, who wouldn't?

ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Option decorations include photographs of political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like <strong>something</strong> = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedingering!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing A lemon = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

The link to Part 36 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2263704-O-Come-all-ye-Viroids-joyful-and-triumphant-Deck-the-halls-with-Contraband-All-I-want-for-Christmas-is-a-BFP-Just-Shag-all-the-way-no36" target="_blank">here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/a2272951-The-JS-Grads-turn-19-Were-cooking-and-popping-out-our-JSing-babies-with-style-co-ordinated-changing-bags-and-a-healthy-dose-of-humour" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a>

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7
rachelrawrrr · 23/01/2015 22:07

cuntsalad has to be the funniest thing I've read in a long time Grin

hmmmm never thought of adding food to the mix, again. we did once with ice cream, was absolutely horrible! and the worst part is that he can't even remember it Envy I bloody do!

justtheonethen · 23/01/2015 22:09

Food and sex are not a combination for me....I'm boring that way!

Ainat266 · 23/01/2015 22:15

It depends what food... lickable stuff is good... It does make a mess though. I ended up with jam in my hair earlier this week...

RhiannonElward · 23/01/2015 22:22

Food and sex isn't my favourite combo, I prefer sex and then pudding given the option. I have only done it once before, and it didn't go overly well but that was with nutella. It put me off nutella a bit, I can still picture the hairs poking through the brown smears and it was all wrong. I think sweets would be alright, and I also wouldn't mind being a human naked table, serving his food off my back. The problem there is I couldn't serve it onto my own back. hmm.

Anyway, a bit of a dampener, dp text to say he's giving his bil a lift out after work so he's not going to be home until gone 1am and his phone is dying so I won't know when he's due. I think I will write tonight off. Hmph. Tomorrow I have my brother staying over so that's unlikely too. Balls balls balls. Sunday is going to have to be a proper Shagfestival Sweetstravaganza.

townsender · 23/01/2015 22:23

Heheh, jam in your hair WTF!!!! Love the Haribo idea Rhi, good luck with that. I've never tried mixing food and sex.... now thinking I should give it a go. Cuntsalad alert!

Sorry to hear our POAS party has been diminished Sad, tink have a great holiday, and county nonk kerazooenjoy your Friday night wine. I'm still in...no sign of AF yet..bought pissy sticks on the way home and they are sitting in the bathroom starting at me.

Was getting all excited and reading through fred, when DP (who was trying to remove our old dishwasher) managed to break the mains hose and flood the house. Cue water pissing everywhere at mains pressure and me rushing around trying to remember where the mains valve is. Eventually found it, now got a pile of very wet towels and the fan on at full blast to try and dry everything out Shock. Took my mind of POAS nerves, but not recommended!!

RhiannonElward · 23/01/2015 22:27

How late are you town? You might be our good news viroid and I think we could do with one of those. When are you POASing?

townsender · 23/01/2015 22:30

POAS due tomorrow morning! But that's CD35 out of a 32-38day cycle. But really no signs of AF, and normally I do get a bit of spotting for a couple of days, so there is certainly a chance ....

justtheonethen · 23/01/2015 22:32

Argh town what a nightmare! Am i still in or out?...no af today but bfn this morning and weird one day bleed a week ago. Should i just assume that was a period even though it was really early and not really period like? clutches all the straws

rhi think sex food should never be brown and shit like in appearance

RhiannonElward · 23/01/2015 22:37

Ooh, that's quite promising! I have gx for you. I'll be sure to check back in the morning to find out the result. I think we're owed a bfp and you might be the one to get lucky. Maybe the flood is a premonition of waters breaking in the future?

daisyspice · 23/01/2015 22:41

Aw sorry the witch has come to so many wat a cow!!

I'm really freaked out and definitely TMI but dtd tonight and noticed a weird brown spotting but since then has become a bit more discharge like....I'm so confused don't know if it's AF or not? Confused

lildottie · 23/01/2015 22:45

evening viroids.

sorry the witch showed up tink noniks kez and just. kez please don't be disheartened. one way or another you'll get there. I felt the way you are feeling so often but here I am, injecting twice a day like its as natural as eating! be patient and positive, and some day it will happen.

as for PMA transplant, just remember there is always someone worse off than you. I don't mean that to sound like I'm saying I'm worse off than you so buck up, I mean things aren't as bad as they seem. oh you all know me by now you know what I mean!

tink have a lovely holiday. at least you can keep that wine glass topped up for mountain to stare at

as for me, I have 7 eggs on the right 9-19mm and 11 on the left 6-16mm. of those about 8 will be good for collection, maybe 9. a lot are sat at 15mm so they have delayed ec to Tuesday to give them a chance to fatten up a bit. so I do my last injection 10pm Sunday! ive been told to drink 2 protein shakes a day now until I'm told otherwise as my ovaries are doing too well so can leak protein apparently! starting to panic im not going to get all my work done so at least that means I can work on Monday. off for a spa day tomorrow for my pg friends 30th so won't be around much over the weekend. good luck for the solo poas party tomorrow town

pooch thanks, I'll be equally happy to leave iyswim! never thought I'd be on this thread 2 years later when I first joined!

justtheonethen · 23/01/2015 22:47

lil so exciting, keeping everything crossed for you x

lildottie · 23/01/2015 22:48

sorry just it was.t you, didn't mean to write you off. the 1 day bleed could've been a light AF. how much bleeding was there?

townsender · 23/01/2015 23:06

lil 8 eggs is loads! My pg friend went through IVF and she just got the one egg, and it stuck, so 8 is great news. Relax and enjoy the weekend. No spas next month when you're pg!

Just that's very strange Confused. Hopefully the all knowing lil can help, as I don't have a clue. Maybe if nothing shows up in a couple of days, POAS again?

justtheonethen · 23/01/2015 23:11

No offence taken, it was heavier than spotting but not as heavy as af. Like the very beginning of af for about an hour then just spotting when i wiped for rest of day. Could have been af i suppose but normally v regular and lasts 4-5 days. What do you think?

justtheonethen · 23/01/2015 23:59

town I'm hoping lil the oracle will know! Its annoying that my body is a mystery, in your 30's you expect to know whats what! Massive massive good luck tomorrow, I will don my party hat for you and eagerly await your news

Toast85 · 24/01/2015 00:50

Very late to the party but I hope you'll let me in? I've just spent the last 1 hr or so reading the posts whilst hubby is alseepin beside me and had to bite my tongue to stop from LOLing, many times!
I am:
Toast85
29
No kiddies, 1 cat
Ttc: 1st month.

Well, first month in reality, more like 2 years in my head- hubby is completing a degree and Finally finishes in August- so will be back to working full time before even the earliest sticky bean should pop out.
Main things about me- love a G&T or a large dry white (and missing both ATM!), don't opk/temp, and I'm a total cat-person.
Will love and leave as I have work tomorrow and should be asleep.
Good luck to those still waiting this month - I am twotting til 2nd feb.

rachelrawrrr · 24/01/2015 01:35

welcome fellow cat lover! Grin

have you worried about how your kitty will react to having a child in the house? I'm worried my little girl will be scared or will become moody, because she's a never been around children and she's a little diva!

australopithecus · 24/01/2015 04:16

Yay more cats! Grin

Toast85 · 24/01/2015 06:44

Rachel I do! I swear she thinks she is more person than cat and I am sure she'll be more than a little put out. Haven't really explored t'intiernet yet for how to prepare a cat for a baby's arrival. No doubt she'll find some way of protesting madly by vomiting in baby's cot or something. But now I feel I'm getting waaay ahead of myself. Could still be a long way off!

jellypi3 · 24/01/2015 07:58

Welcome toast :)

lil that's fricking great news. Well done, EC Tuesday is amazing!

Any news from our remaining pissers this morning?

townsender · 24/01/2015 08:07

Drum roll please........

Eventually gave up sleeping and went to POAS at 5:45, and....

BFP Grin!!
Nice strong line too.
Phew! Aaaaaarrrrgh!

australopithecus · 24/01/2015 08:12

Whoooo! Pissy party weekend positives!

Jcandy · 24/01/2015 08:20

Congratulations toast!! Grin

I'm glad you've broken the witch appearing cycle Smile Sorry for those that AF has appeared Flowers

Jcandy · 24/01/2015 08:24

FF has put me back to 3dpo (instead of 5) I'm so glad I carried on shagging Grin means more waiting though. Looks like I'll be testing on the 4th which is also supposed to be the day I have my wisdom teeth out Confused

Oh well, off to get my hair cut and try not to think of the twot ...........

How is everyone this lovely Saturday morning?

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