Jizz in your eyes, raining out of your arse or just feeling boggin? Come and join the JSers for fun and frolics! And some of them drooling over Ian McShane, whoever he may be! It's Just Shagging 29!!

[lildottie]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others.

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in!

ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession.

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture!

TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

The link to Part 28 is <a class="break-all" href="//www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2179455-Break-the-bed-marvel-at-the-ghost-sperm-ignore-the-fuss-about-avatar-pandas-and-whatever-you-do-dont-eat-the-jizz-Its-Just-Shagging-Part-28?" target="_blank">here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="//www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2186417-Just-Shagging-12th-Thread-for-graduated-viroids?pg=31" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="//www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a>

Happy shagging, shaggers!

Think I might have missed the bit about men pushing babies out of their cocks???

La that one annoyes the shit out of me too. My mother came out with it, then when explaining the pco she came out with 'well no one in the family has ever had that' followed by a load of bullshit that Wikipedia said about it because I only have 6 years of medical training so don't know what I'm talking about

Sorry don't think I should be allowed to drink!

In other news, the very naughty clearblue seems to think I'm icing again on CD 8 ? Better get my shiney pants out just in case..

la big hugs xxx

I was quite proud of the men pushing babies out of cocks statement. But it came too late in the day (hee hee that sounds dirty) for new title.

Am happy now I've ranted, thanks. And yes lil I do understand what you mean, i think I'd probably feel the same. Of course I'm not going to rant at you, you've been brilliant!

bother we can blether alright!

La I'm sorry, I said that to you. I said it probably because for years I've been convinved that I was infertile - I don't know why, there was no basis for it but I just assumed I would be. So it was a massive shock when I fell pregnant and I was still in shock when I miscarried pretty much as soon as I found out. I couldn't stop sobbing over my baby who died, I wanted to know what happened to it, there was so much I didn't understand and I needed to know. It was (and still is) a horrible, empty, lonely, guilty feeling (for me anyway), and the only positive thing I could drag out of it was that I knew I could conceive. I'm going to stop writing now because there's a lot of snot threatening to drop on my clean jumper. Hope you are feeling a bit better. x

Oh no calli of course I didn't mean you!!!! Oh no I'm so sorry I made you cry :( you don't deserve that, you've been so amazing. It's the people who've no idea, those who say it flippantly. My friend in America said it and then went on to say how her sisters ectopic was the worst story than any other.

Noooo, please don't cry. You are amazing and you've been fantastic. It was other people Xxxxxxxx big squeezy hug to you

I feel terrible now :( I made a pregnant lady cry. :(

Honestly please please don't think it was you. It was my mum, my friend, my cousin, my aunty and everyone else who said it breezily. I know what you mean and I do feel exactly the same. Sending you a big hug xxxxx

calli lovely please stop snotting - washing wool is the worst job! I'm so sorry for all you guys that have been through mc, I dread it with equal measure to the excitement I feel about getting upfuffed. It must be the worst :( I'm so sorry you feel like that today - We all just have to focus on the end result of all of this - we will all one day have babies to do the snotting on us instead!! la you too - you guys have been through an awful awful thing xxxx

I'm guilty too, meant in the nicest way though :( I know how shitty it feels - look after yourself and do exactly as you need

upduffed not upfuffed - but I quite like that x

Can all if you on here please stop feeling bad/guilty! None of my rant was directed at any you. You're all amazing. You guys are the ones who know how I feel and know what it feels like to try month after month after month, think it's never going to happen, get hopes up during twot, poamfs and get bfn after bfn, only to perhaps get bfp and then fecking mc three weeks later. None of what I said is directed at any of you because even if you did say that it's meant in a lovely sympathetic and understanding way, not flippant like I'm getting from people outside of here.

Can we have a big JSers hug now please? I feel crap and rubbish because I should've phrased my rant differently so you knew it's not at any of you.

And washing wool really is a nightmare...

Oh dear, a lot of sad people. I might rant too...

One of my friends told me i was pretty much crazy for coming on here because "there's nothing wrong with you!" Well. It might be easy to say that with your two children you had no trouble conceiving, but tell that to my dead baby. She was proper rude, told me not to get all obsessed and "turn crazy". She doesn't understand how i can be so nervous about it. And she never will, unless it happens to her (which i hope it never does!).

I don't blame her for not understanding, but i do blame her for being so blasè about it.

I agree to group hug!

GGRROOUUUUPP HUUUG xxx

Huuuuuuuuugs!

People can just be so blinkered sometimes they don't think about those around them! Don't let it get to any of you, you're all strong women who are on here trying to do something about it!

Chin up and cape on!

Sorry La - HUGE HUG! I didn't mean to make you feel worse! I just felt the need to let you know why I said it. It wasn't you making me cry, it was thinking about the mc, and I do that all the time, I still cry about it and tbh it does me no harm to cry about it, it's normal and helping me grieve. So no guilt, PLEASE feel free to rant as this is why we're all here - I came on here straight after mc because I needed to speak to people who had an idea what I was going through and it made a change from spending every moment I could with Dr Google and it's been helping me so much. And don't worry, I didn't let the snot near my favourite jumper :D

Honey don't let her get to you. She was a gimp to suggest you're turning crazy, and we're here giving the hooyahs for if/when that happens, Jsers are the antidote to craziness (we just wish we could give her a hooyah).

Love you guys

Exactly Calli I joined this Fred in particular because its not as crazy as it could be but she thinks forums in general are for weirdos. maybe she could join one and learn how to stop her eldest being a knob

Ahem. Nothing to see here.

Love you all!

Anyone watching GBBO?!? Shitdaughter? Bumcookin?! "Bumcookin are made on a spit"?!? This is why I love this programme. Also Mary Berry is back to wearing blazers=all is right with the world.

Missed start as was watching Pitch Perfect. Will have to watch on catch up tomorrow. Glad its a good'un! No spoilers please!

Gbbo - Oh yes. And salted almond toblerone - very happy.
I have 2 comments:
1: 5 hours to make some cakes?! I could fly to France and but the feckers in that time
2: why would you make a cake that tastes like grapefruit? What kind of evil shit would do that?

I'm saying nothing Honey, apart from the fact the Berry said my favourite word - 'bulbous'.

I'm such a man. You lot are watching bake off and I'm watching the football whilst DP is at badminton lol!

I'm sorry jelly, but I'm just not sure you're a good "fit" for this organisation. I think we are moving in a different direction, and might have to part ways.

No! Please don't! I can change I swear it! I'll watch football in secret lol!