Jizz in your eyes, raining out of your arse or just feeling boggin? Come and join the JSers for fun and frolics! And some of them drooling over Ian McShane, whoever he may be! It's Just Shagging 29!!

[lildottie]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others.

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in!

ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession.

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture!

TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

The link to Part 28 is <a class="break-all" href="//www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2179455-Break-the-bed-marvel-at-the-ghost-sperm-ignore-the-fuss-about-avatar-pandas-and-whatever-you-do-dont-eat-the-jizz-Its-Just-Shagging-Part-28?" target="_blank">here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="//www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2186417-Just-Shagging-12th-Thread-for-graduated-viroids?pg=31" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="//www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a>

Happy shagging, shaggers!

If anyone hasn't added stats yet, put them up and I'll update roll call again later.

I think we should start doing roll call when we get to 900 on thread, then we could put it in OP.

gliding sorry about your BFN but agree with lil, no AF, no giving up!

mountain as someone in the medical profession, can't you appropriate the pathology department's wares to sort something EXACT out???? ;)

900? Posts?

Extra Slice finished. Time to dig out the paint.

Lil, i had streaky bacon and cooked it American style. Different but equally yum.

mountain - get shagging ( probably wait til your shift's over)
gliding and jelli how many dpo are ya?

OK viroids- I need some shagging advice...MrB's not as young as he used to be and struggles to keep up with the JS demand at times, so I'm trying to make sure we use his precious resources efficiently...but that obviously gives me angst as to when to start the shag-fest so as not to run out of steam, so to speak...
Last 3 cycles: 28, 29, 25 days
Last cycle positive OPK:day 13 (first time with contraband so no idea before that)
Currently on day 6 of cycle...
So, assuming we can 'manage' DTD every 3 days...do we go 7, 10, 13 and then try and get a bonus one in if OPK is helpful at any point? Sorry if this is TMI- I just always get stressed about it!
x

bother smep suggests starting EOD on cd10 then when opks + do that day and following 2 days then 3 days later.

I have long cycles and use cbfm so we start EOD when cbfm starts saying high.

Also is he taking bits? I noticed dhs non existent drive improve when he takes zinc.

PS: with this new Fred title, when I have the tab at the top of my screen but am working on something else less interesting but have to at least keep up the pretence of doing my job all I can see is 'Jizz in your eyes'...nice!

Wow, I missed a proper love in last night!

I also offer big squishes & big love to you all in for your support, sanity & many giggles.

bother reckon your shagging plan seems sound, just keep an eye on those signs if you need to cape it up one more day

Ha just seen my autocorrect fail. Don't make him take bits. I meant Vits!

Man vitamins - am on it - thanks for the advice...glad I'm not the only one with this 'issue'...difficult to find the balance of 'we've got to do it -now!' and putting too much pressure on and risking it not 'happening' at all! Had an incident last month whereby I'm fully caped up, giving it all my best (obviously not very good) seductive techniques and Mr B asks why I'm being 'weird'...not my best moment, and needless to say, the deed did not get done.
Does anyone actually give their OH a plan? Would save a lot of stress trying to engineer situations if we both know the plan and stick to it...romance is not dead!

lil -I've been trying to get him to take my bits - that's the problem!

Don't take bits, take vits - ha ha!!

Yes - I also give Mr La a plan - he works shifts so when it's coming up to icing we work out his shifts around it.

bother I would start EOD on CD10, up to 3 days after icing. Don't make the mistake of stopping too early which is what I realised I was doing only after using CBFM (I was ovulating CD25 and stopping at CD20).

Mr La is on Pregnacare for him vitamins - it helps their soldiers to be healthy.

I'm back on all my vits now - I'd forgotten how much I was taking! Vitamin B complex, Pregnacare conception, Eve primrose oil. I'm rattling! Also on codeine in evenings to make me sleep.

Bizarrely Mr La is on phone - I asked who he was phoning and he said 'The Congo to find out if they have enough Um Bongo'. Strange thing is he's actually serious. He runs a bar. I don't think it's the 'actual' Congo though - better bloody not be as I'm not driving there this afternoon.

And bother there was nothing like the wrath of La one month when it was icing day and Mr La couldn't perform. We had to drive up to York afterwards and I refused to speak to him.

The amount I fucking spend on pissy sticks, monitors, vitamins and all he has to do is one. bloody. job. I poas every morning for my monitor, pop pills, don't drink, eat healthily and he has one.....job.....

Rage.

Also keep looking at the tab that starts 'Jizz in your eyes' and for some reason my head finishes the sentence with....

...'and not in your bum'.

I'm weird.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha! He must be speaking to someone whose first language is not english.

All I can hear is him going 'UM....BONGO!'. 'UM BONGO!' 'IT'S A CARTON OF JUICE!''

Um Bongo, Um Bongo, they drink it in the Congo! The python picked the passion-fruit, The marmoset the mandarine, the parrot painted packets that the whole caboodle landed in. So when it comes to sun and fun and goodness in the jungle, they all prefer the sunny, funny one they call Um Bongo!

la that'll be the ass babies on the brain!

As for plan, mr lil gets told when it's cd1. he then asks when cd 10 is about a week later and he knows from cd10 we try to do eod, but that the pressures on when the monitor hits high. that way at least he's getting a "clear out" early on! i tell him every morning what the monitor says and he's usually around when i do the opks so he knows what a negative one looks like and what a positive one looks like. He's pretty involved actually! then after icing he usually asks (within a day) when are we due to test. I usually add a day or two so he doesn't get his hopes up if i'm a day or so late.

Lol at the Congo La! Guess what line I'll be repeating all day?!

Lil good idea about the roll call before next Fred - OP will be massive tho! Maybe on first post after OP?

I WILL do some studying today! Going to go to library as their internet is shit so less likely to spend all day Mning and Fbing, more time being bored with Word.

Ha - I didn't know Um Bongo still existed! Just has to look up the lyrics of the song, so perhaps Mr La would like to sing it down the phone?
"Way down deep in the middle of the Congo,
A hippo took an apricot, a guava and a mango.
He stuck it with the others, and he danced a dainty tango.
The rhino said, "I know, we'll call it Um Bongo"
Um Bongo, Um Bongo, They drink it in the Congo.
The python picked the passion fruit, the marmoset the mandarin.
The parrot painted packets, that the whole caboodle landed in.
So when it comes to sun and fun and goodness in the jungle,
They all prefer the sunny funny one they call Um Bongo!"

yeh all i keep seeing is "Jizz in your eyes" lol!

Calli, if I worked it out right I should be either 13 or 6 DPO :p

I hate to be a boring wildlife bore but marmosets aren't found in the Congo. Do you think I should write to the company?

This cycle we are going to try for 3x pw except for ice week when we will go by what the new piss sticks tell us to do! Mr tink has cancelled atrip and everything !! I think he knows this next few months is it bless him.
Personally, I'm more of a Ki-Ora fan ;)

I think you should. False advertising and, not to mention the miseducation of the kids

Don't tempt me, Popz, the rest of the bottle's in the fridge!

JS, Mountain, hedge your bets so to speak (but not in the department) :)

I'm loving the um bongo singing and impressed at your marmoset knowledge la! Are you a wildlife expert of some sort?! I used to be an urban ranger but that didn't really stretch much further than oak trees, mini-beasts and squirrels!

La - I think you should write the company a strongly worded letter. I've lived my entire adult like thinking marmosets live in the Congo...I feel robbed!

Oh my god. Paint the kitchen for an hour and its gone all tropical! For the record:
-Um Bongo is as nice as any fruit drink but i never learned the song as we weren't allowed them do probably didn't know they existed till i was an adult

• we dtd all the time (newlyweds) which in practise is eod anyway, with exception of af week and tends to tail off towards the end it won't last

-La i know that rage! When Mr Honeyddint finish one morning i was not impressed. Neither was he to be fair. When i had that tear he very gracefully agreed to finish himself so i could be sad.

Right! Jumping in shower and going to coffee with a mat leave friend.

Oh, and if the neighbours dogs bark at my cats, minding their own business in my garden, one more fucking time, i will shoot them.