Whether icing, twotting, or in need of a dip in the pity paddling pool, come stroke the friendly orange cave unicorn with us. (Chocolate pretzels are on the house). It's JUST SHAGGING THREAD 17!

[EssieSaysRelax]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share and with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo;

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others.

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce in other posters).

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in!

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession.

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

The link to Part 16 is here

The link to the latest grads thread is here

Happy shagging shaggers!

yep, Star Trek! My hormones have decided scales are sexy this month, I don't know why!

Though a life-sized Captain Picard wouldn't come amiss, either...

Hello newbies kitkat and others i might have missed.

essie before my mc i had the implant for two years and no regular cycle on that (spotted or bled lamost constantly for two years - awful!). Then i only had one full cycle before getting pregnant, it was 40 days though...

Picard? Really? I'd more more inclined to have a bit of Riker myself :)

Hi ladies can I join?

Am TTC have gone mad with bad banned contranban items and no BFP so have decided to JS every other day and see what happens, have no idea about ovulation dates as CM and OPK contradicted themselves! Grrr fed up of weeing in a tub and dipping all manor of sticks in it!

Don't know a lot and maybe wrong but I you have a short luteal phase sometimes the lining can breakdown before proper implantation causing a chemical pregnancy?? Might be worth a trip to the quacks as think they can give you something maybe progesterone to help? But not sure

Hola chicas.
How's everybody on this thundery Monday? I've just returned for the 3 hour meeting with the mortgage advisor. It's officially happening and I am bricking it!
Oooerr, all this talk about life insurance really puts the willies up me (sounds a bit rude but hey).
In other news still no PMS coming which is odd and I'm pretty sure I'm due on tomoz, even though a day late according to the app. But this morning, early like every time ERTD shows her face, I woke up with a (tmi) weird warmish feeling in me fanjo. I'm now worried I'm coming down with a water infection. Gah. I didn't even DTD loads this month so I know I'm not pg but this would just be my luck to get cystitis.
And last night I dreamt me and my sister went to boots and did matching tests and my turned to + straight away..
Baby on the brain or what!

It is all ultra confusing and I have not got my head around my cycle at all either. Just when I think I know what its doing then my body throws in another weird one. Like now!

Welcome Curly!

Downstairs, from what I understand your literal phase should be the same each cycle. However, mine has been 14 days ish for the last few cycles when I've used contraband a bit to try and suss things out, but this cycle, if the contraband is correct, I am now 18-19 dpo, so either that theory is cobblers (probably) or I am up the duff (probably not as my sculpture of bfns if taking shape nicely). So frankly, I don't have a clue! Probably won't do any harm to see your GP if its worrying you though.

Bear Thanks for assigning the next delivery to me! Hope it doesn't get lost in the post! I've only been doing internet cheapie pee sticks as thats all I've got. Bfns on those, but ERTD still absent, along with all pmt, so I'd be shocked if she made an appearance now tbh. A few days ago I had a few cramps and a headache (and a thousand spots - NOT exaggerating - I look a fright), but then that all went away and now nothing. Should I splash out on a digital test, I thought the cheap sticks were as sensitive as the rest?

I've left a message with the colposcopy clinic to see if I should postpone my appointment on Weds too. Wanted to get that out the way too. Boo.

Wish someone would invent an iphone app that could just unravel all this and tell me what the feck is going on!

Ohhh Minion - we got our mortgage insurance from legal and general a few weeks ago and got £50 of free M&S vouchers - they might still have that promo on. Great that its all happening on the house! Yay for you. Very exciting.

Hope your dream is in fact a premonition.

Just a quickie for downstairs - there's a thread called the short luteal phase gang who might be able to help a bit more.

Essie- I don't know why exactly but people on here seem to say that ICs are more sensitive than digis, but I can't tell you why. Sorry! I'd test, but then seeing a bfn doesn't upset me as much as waiting. But that's just me.

I don't want to fork out on an expensive test if there is no point. Think I'll stick to testing with cheapies every couple of days for now and see what occurs. I was under the impression the cheapies were the most sensitive too.

*aloho^ was a bit that you were fantasizing about the Kardashians!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I know the cheapies are meant to be the best but I still can't help my mind thinking 'have I got time to get to SuperDrug and get a first response?'

I have a question, whilst we are talking about literal phases! If you have a short one (think mine is 10 days) then when should you test? Cos the day AF is due might not actually be long enough for it to show on test, if that makes sense. Ie. I am 10dpo (in theory) but today AF is due so testing is bound to be BFN anyway, isn't it? Not that it stops me..,

Ertd is on her ugly way.
I can feel it.
Witch.
But on the plus side I hope it means I hardly get any PMS symptoms before she arrives... (wishful thinking)

down thanks for the vino, gulp gulp

Ok ladies im confused; so if my last cycle was 50 days and I'm now on CD24 CM says I ovulated 14 days ago, stoopid OPK says I haven't ovulated and logic says ovulation should be in approx 12 days, what is with the twinge I keep getting in my uterus!! I hate my body! I agree with Essie there should be an app to say do it now for BFP!

Have decided that maybe I should just resolve myself to being childless and have more cats :-/

I'd do the more cats thing too curly, only my current cat is evil and tries to deck all other cats! .. He is cute though if you are not feline.

I think ertd might be coming. Got cramps in the last hour and that dull ache like my trousers are too tight except they're not. :(

I tried to do a smiley cat but it just turned out as two full stops. Also the drama crown as gone!

At least my 3 cats don't look disappointed when I get a BFN secretly I think they do voodoo when I'm asleep as they don't like the idea of not being the babies anymore!

I think I may have sum messed up cycle this month and my twinning is actually ERTD on her way :-/

so who is yet to test? good luck viroids,

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