Whether icing, twotting, or in need of a dip in the pity paddling pool, come stroke the friendly orange cave unicorn with us. (Chocolate pretzels are on the house). It's JUST SHAGGING THREAD 17!

[EssieSaysRelax]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share and with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo;

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others.

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce in other posters).

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in!

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession.

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

The link to Part 16 is here

The link to the latest grads thread is here

Happy shagging shaggers!

oops sorry for double posting!

zing burnt tyres and motor oil - yuck! ertd due next Friday or Saturday so not peeing on anything until Sunday. I really don't believe it could be atm tho. I think my mind has pulled out some self defends mechanism. I feel completely resigned to this monthly dance we all do!

Sorry to hear things aren't going to plan Bear - fx for a positive outcome!
It really is raining too - monsoon style in Yorkshire! Just got in from driving back from a friends house & my right shoulder is soaked because my car window leaks! Pah.
I think if I ever get a BFP I will just tell my 2 best pals til 4!months. I know it'll be really hard, but my mum won't want to know unless it's a pretty sure thing. She tried for 4 years TTC me and had 2 quite late MCs (3 months & 3.5 months) before being on bed rest when she got upduffed with me, so I don't think any old BFP would be solid enough for her to get excited about. I get a lot of 'I don't wanna hear about it' vibes from her even just with us trying. I told myself not to get too hung up on TTC in case the same happens to me, but I think I've already mega failed there
Finally got round to reading the SMEP plan and realised why it's a Fred no go with it's naughty contrabandy ways but reckon its worth a go this month!

Sorry bear :( I started spotting today so I am feeling down too. DH looked so sad. We have to stay positive. But after a good cry. Sometimes they are necessary.

so sorry bear

Sorry red . Squeezey hugs for you too. Xx

Sorry red. It's shitty isn't it?

Thanks for all your good wishes.

I just wish they had done blood tests for this cycle. Next cycle it will probably go back to normal and then I won't ever know what really happened.

I bought two dresses and booked myself onto a French course yesterday to cheer myself up. I may have no money left by the end of this Ttc lark, whenever that will be!

congrats to all the bfp's! I've been lurking in the thread for a few weeks but think we will have to take a break from ttc until I have some tests to find out why I'm so ill (nausea, wooziness, tiredness and palpitations). Got to have blood tests and an ecg :-(. I'm hoping its a virus but don't want to risk pregnancy incase it is heart/ thyroid etc related.

I will still lurk if that's ok and return ready to js asap :-)

That sounds like it could be implantation Downstairs, although I don't mean to get your hopes up too much either! I think mine is too early for implantation.

Hello all

Off to Wagamama's today, which is the best food ever!!

And of course its just another worry, who knew pregnant women shouldn't eat bean sprouts!! There is so much off limits now, i need a little pocket note book to carry round all the with a list of all the things i can't eat any more

Coffee hope your ok, and you find an answer!!

Bear oooh a French course, your brave i failed miserably at French at school, that does remind me though to get back in my courses learning sign language. Thats the second language i am slowly learning.

Hello Newbies

I am loosing all brain power, one of my friends picked up a chest of drawers when i went outside, i said lets put it in the oven, meant car, and some horses and dogs went past, looked over at the dogs, which were huskies/wolf like and said that an unusual looking horse!!

Errr, so now I appear to be icing so says contraband so confusing!

bear what CD are you on?

downstairs 7dpo is def implantation time so fx.

red

I'm off to my mums for bacon and egg sarnies for lunch. lovely

Hi viroids!
Back from my last Cuba longhaul yay, but have left my phone on there boo.
Lost all me pics and numbers. Grrr. Also thought I was insured as I've had the insurance since 2005, but no, some incompetent fuckwit at O2 cancelled it without telling me. I was not a happy minion I tell thee.
So now I'm resigned to a tiny phone till April, then I can have an all singing, all dancing extravaganza of a moby.
Nice new Fred, fredders!

choc huge congratulations to you both, great news and bear I'm crossing, fingers, toes, legs, arms and eyes for you that this icing spike is of the oop duffage variety.

Ending the twot here. Supposed to see the ERTD arrive in all her misery, today. Nowt as yet, but I got that EWCM a day late so tomorrow is d-day I reckon.

But for the first time since coming off the pill, I have no PMS except tender nips!
No cramps, no spots, no backache, nothing, nada, zip! I'm very very happy, even if I have bawled my eyes out the last week.

Right, I'm being lazy and am still ensconced in my duvet so shall disentangle myself and face the grey skies.
Thank goodness for lazy Sunday fumbles!

Xx

minion I've got no pms this cycle either, absolutely nothing, and now I'm late too and officially on my longest cycle now, tested this am and bfn though. Most irritating.

bear are you going to pee on a stick of the legal variety?

cookie enjoy wagas, what's the issue with bean sprouts!?

coffee sorry to hear you haven't been well when will you have some tests?

Hi to everyone else too, hope you are all having a good weekend. Xx

thanks all. blood tests are on this and ecg I have to book next week.Just awaiting call back from nhs direct after passing out coming out of the shooter this morning and coming round with the dog licking me frantically. thinking I may have to call the in laws as worried about looking after ds alone when dh is working...

coffee you poor thing that sounds rubbish! Hope they get to the bottom of it soon

bear fingers crossed this is all building up to your BFP and you can tell the fertility docs you won't be needing their services!

I'm not well today totally self inflicted, hen party was good and our club had s club 7! actually s club 2, only Bradley and Paul

Aww Cookie- that's lovely.

Managed to squeeze some shaggedy in just to cover all bases. What a roller coaster this is!

Coffee- how awful! I hope you find out what it us so you can fix it soon.

Welcome back minion!

Enjoy Wagamamas Cookie! How yum! Going to try to convince DH to go for quaffee and cake this pm.

I'm on cd 18 so could be implantation I guess? But probably isn't if I got 'signs' that I'm icing. There's also the BFP scenario but I think it's too early for that even. Such a mystery. Feel like Sherlock Holmes trying to figure this out!

Hello all! May I join you?

Not quite ttc yet, but when we start I reckon this might be a better approach than all those things you sensibly call contraband...so can I get to know you now, get a bit excited about the whole prospect?

Refoca
Ttc soonish
1 DS aged 4

Oh coffee you poor thing, how horrible. Glad you are able to get tests done soon and hopefully they'll be able to give you some answers soon and get you on the mend. Take care of yourself. Xx

fifi were they actually performing?!

bear I'm on coffee and cake mission this pm too. Enjoy yours!

Hi refoca, welcome!

Aw it's got a little bit down in here today. Hope everyone has had a treat to cheer them up.

Never been to wagamamas, what am I missing??

Welcome refoca. JSing is the best way. To start with anyway! Lol. Doesn't last long until you'll drive yourself crazy though...

Knicker watch here. AF due tomorrow...