Whisky-drinking Silk-cut smoking foul-mouthed 30-something hitherto unsuccessful TTCer seeks like-minded companions. Babydusters need not apply.

[BlooferLady]

Now then you lot. I've got a 40 pack of menthol fags from my mate that just got back from Croatia, a slightly dusty bottle of Bison Grass vodka I'm not sure what to do with, and a carrier bag full of cheap eBay pregnancy tests.

Obviously it's a bit lonely in here at the moment so I'd be glad to see anyone, but please be assured that given I've been pissing on my own fingers trying to aim it onto the bloody eBay tests for a year now to no avail, those in the first month of trying for their fourth child might be met with a) a stony stare followed by b) convulsive bouts of weeping .

Disclaimer: you don't actually need to be a smoker. I'm not some kind of maniac.

I'm a chain smoker (rollies always) don't drink and am not even considering ttc and probably never will again. But I like you lot....

(lurks)

Cheers Aries, Belu. Here's to better luck in the future [raisedglass]

Gosh, and there's so much smoke in the air in here now, you could cut the atmosphere with a cake slice and serve it at a Heston Blumenthal banquet. Where's my pipe?

Evening all! Work is finished, so it is not just a virtual drink I am enjoying ce soir!

Hurrah! I must say this is a blessed relief. Sorry for all the ttc shitness being encountered by all here, but on the plus side it is soooooo bloody (geddit? me too with the shite puns!) good not to have to be all morose but brave and watery-smiley about difficulties.

I care, really I do, I er, just can't be arsed dwelling on it!

But then I also need someone to have a good guern to at the same time!

Contrary? Moi?

I can't believe I got to 38 without ever having tried Port. Had a snifter this afternoon afoer making paper mache baubles (fingers still feel a bit itchy after being covered with wallpaper paste). It's bloody lovely. And I can see how it will go so well with a nice bit of pokey stilton.

Darn it. Another food discovery which is chock full of fecking calories.

Princess - port is great, agreed. (But have you tried chocolate port? It's sort of dessert and an after dinner drink combined. Saves time, which is important anway.) Nice to wash your folic acid tablets down with something other than water from the bathroom sink I think.

I'm on CD19, testing in 9 days..

Evening all!

Couldn't agree more - I've done morose but brave and watery-smiley and I'm bored of it now. I've moved on to life as normal, with the occasional waily drown sorrows in alcohol.

PrincessBoo - I'm going to have to dsagree. Port is the one drink I can't stomach. No idea why but I feel the hangover coming on as soon as, I sniff it.

Love the stilton though. I could live on cheese.

Anyway - it's been a shitty old week at work so am off for a vat glass of wine. Will regret it in the morning....

Blardy LOVE port, mind you I am not really very fussy when it come to alcohol, have been known to partake in the cooking sherry

How about SWEET SHERRY Rocket??? A nice bit of Harvey's Bristol Cream?

Where is SweetSherry anyway?

I prefer a medium dry Amontillado Aria (no offense SS) chip off the old block in that respect.

I accidentally had a massive swig of G&T at a party last night, I thought it was my soda water, mmmm, it was like nectar!

G&T makes me barf. Think it's the quinine. No, port is definitely the way forward. I simply cannot stomach whisk(e)y, rum, brandy or any other spirits, though this may be my body still rebelling at the memory of going through the parents' drinks cupboard at the age of 16 many many years later.

I sound really boring This is abominable.

Anyone got any POAS action coming up? Any SWI? Or even SFF?

Good morning! I hope the sherry hangover is wearing off.

Rocketleaf - how did you manage to 'accidentally' down half of someone else's G&T? What happened? Did you slip and fall, with your mouth hitting a table of drinks?

I always think something similar when someone claims to have 'accidentally' gotten pg - 'how? Did you trip up and land on a penis?' I mean, otherwise, if you have sex, you have to accept that pregnancy is a possible side effect...

I'm just jealous - I'd love to get pg by accident. For me, it's more akin to a military campaign. And I'm losing..

++++++++++++++

I've now entered the 1ww - testing next Sunday, which will be 12dpo. This is a Clomid cycle, so - until the tests say otherwise, if they dare, I'm going to assume I'm pg with octuplets.

I'm PUPO - pregnant until proven otherwise. As the babydusters might say..!

Good luck everyone!

Hello Harvey's. My cousin apparently conceived twice whilst on the pill. The bitch.

Drives you properly mental doesn't it? Hope the Clomid does its thing. A lufferly lufferly friend from another thread TTCed for AN AGE and was put on Clomid. Didn't appear to get anywhere and ditched it, then was up the duff two months later

Well, you know how it is when there is a table full of clear drinks with slices of lime in them

Accidental alcohol imbibing is rather a speciality of mine, unfortunately getting up the duff not so much. 2 years + of no contraception, 'if it happens it happens' followed by 1 year of 'shit its not happening what are we doing wrong, shit shit shit i am 38, go straight to IVF, do not pass IUI, do not collect clomid prescription. EEEEEPPPPP! So I sympathize with the military campaign aspect. We were very luck and got a FUFC win without having to go thru any treatment but I know how much of a head fuck it can be. So yes, let's assume PUPO (i like that) & fingers crossed for next weekend.

Hmm, I love port as well. And to me it doesn't seem alkie because it's kind of posh, innit?

sweetsherry I like your style. PUPO. I will therefore let you all into an embarassing secret.

A few Sundays ago, I had a 'pretend I am pregnant' day

The logic was as follows:

Everyone around me is pregnant and I am very nice to them - buying them things they crave, taking on some of their workload, telling them to have a sleep in the day, etc

Well! I want to sleep during the day and eat random things and not do as much work! ANNNND it seems doubly unfair that I don't even have a bloody baby to look forward to!

So I decided to indulge myself and lay on the sofa and had a wee nap in the afternoon and consumed lots of chocolate ahhhhh.

And enjoyed having all the pg benefits without the nausea, heartburn, etc. Great stuff.

Good luck wih the clomid! And all others -join me in a Sunday evening tipple?

Oh that sounds like fun..

I'm going to pretend to be pregnant in work today! I'll roll up really late, citing nausea, then spend all day ostentatiously rubbing my stomach, knocking back bags of crisps and chocolate, belching and then rest my forehead of the computer wrist pad all afternoon.

++++++

Maybe I'll have time to nip into Mothercare at lunchtime, and buy a 'I love my bump' t-shirt. And then send all my Christmas cards with 'love from bump!'

I see your saddo and raise it!

Hello to all, new and name changers. I've been around for a little while on these boards and wanted to offload share my news.

We got our results from months of tests on Friday, and I have a medical diagnosis of BARREN. (Well, nearly). Am very :(

AMH level of 2.5 with no other problems, so basically, I'm just old (at 38 ).

We've got Clomid to try to improve our chances but as we don't have a problem that it can treat, it's just a case of boosting the statistics.

Have been trying to be positive all weekend, many others are in a much more difficult position than us, but today I'm just .

Hello FarmGirl. I've wondered where you got to from time to time. God, I'm so sorry to hear that. I'm not surprised you're :(.

This is a shitty game at times isn't it?

Delrking/ FarmerGirl my AMH was 2 so I feel your pain. What was your FSH like? AMH is still a relatively new method of testing your ovarian reserve and is based on a small sample set so don't lose hope just yet. Get yourself on DHEA supplements, 75mg daily (unless you have high testosterone levels or have been told otherwise by your Cons). On fertilityfriends website there are lots of stories of laydeez with worse AMH levels than ours spontaneously getting pregnant so it can happen. What treatment are they giving you? It's not the end at all. Feel free to PM me if you want to know what treatments I've had and what I'm doing about it all. Big snog and a kick in the fanny.

'Tis not easy, certainly.

It's good to see friendly faces around, but I wish you weren't still here (in the nicest possible way of course).

Fanks, I has sent you a massage message.

Have DD already but want to lurk as v you are all v funny. It seems better if I tell you I'm lurking instead of doing it secretly.

As you were

Shitty news, Downonthefarm. Hopefully the DHEA can help you and really it's a silly non-predictive statistic as BB says. Nice to see you anyway.

And good to see you too, BB. How are things going?

I'm not doing too bad GG. Trying to keep out of the WOOFLing (2ww madness) and so on, I should be going for IUI next year with some different drugs. I might post more when I'm actually on some treatment again and when I want to dive back into the madness again. All the different threads and stuff have been a bit weird so am keeping quiet so as to not offend anyone! Obviously I obsessively stalk keep an eye on you all in the different threads so no one can escape that easily...Hope you are feeling ok? I see the BESH thread has gone BFP crazy!

Glad you're keeping ok, BB. At least you get to enjoy Christmas properly before next lot of treatment. Yes, it has gone a bit mad. Was something strange in that Nile water.

I'm fine thanks for asking. Booked an early scan at 8 weeks to check everything ok (two more weeks to wait). This week is week I miscarried last time so hopefully will feel bit better next week.

Ah that's a tough time GG. Hope it all goes ok at your scan.