Whisky-drinking Silk-cut smoking foul-mouthed 30-something hitherto unsuccessful TTCer seeks like-minded companions. Babydusters need not apply.

[BlooferLady]

Now then you lot. I've got a 40 pack of menthol fags from my mate that just got back from Croatia, a slightly dusty bottle of Bison Grass vodka I'm not sure what to do with, and a carrier bag full of cheap eBay pregnancy tests.

Obviously it's a bit lonely in here at the moment so I'd be glad to see anyone, but please be assured that given I've been pissing on my own fingers trying to aim it onto the bloody eBay tests for a year now to no avail, those in the first month of trying for their fourth child might be met with a) a stony stare followed by b) convulsive bouts of weeping .

Disclaimer: you don't actually need to be a smoker. I'm not some kind of maniac.

Folic - I'm with Phoebe and Sherry - you're pg and GP's tests are crap. I'm even surprised that they're using urine tests at all.
BTW - I liked your jaggy fanny/jeans thing - may even start wearing tight clothing, maybe in some magical way it helps :-)

Here I'm going absolutelly obsessed and waisting £££ on HPTs serenely calm, waiting for my period to arrive.
I'm due tomorrow and usually I have 2-3 days spotting. This time nothing. Plus I had a hint of a hint of blood (the only-wearing-white-knickers theme!) at 10 DPO which then stopped. Plus I was feeling sick at 11/12 DPO (although it could have been hangover). Plus I've been having period-like cramps (which I usually get only on the 1-2 day of my period)
On top of that I had 5 BFNs (I'm sure my excessive testing is helping teh economy).

Somebody help me!

Stop it, for the love of God, woman! Put the bag of tests down and back away with your hands where we can see them.

Better?

Folic, you are using lovely expensive Clearblue tests (right?), whereas your GP probably has cheap shitty ones that have been sitting around for the last two years in a cupboard that has a heating pipe running through the back of it. I would put good money on it being that plus weedy wee sample confusing them.

One of my best friends had her 2nd today, so glad she's ok because the first one was dreadful (36 hour labour with massive intervention). I was v v jealous while she was pg but, as Sherry says, it's another off the pregnant list! Just got my SIL and another best mate to go this month

I spent £35 in IKEA today and really couldn't tell you where all the money went.

But the Nutella pancakes for tea seem to have sorted me out a bit.

What have you had on your pancakes?

I had nutella with my pancakes today too!

My necklace finally came, v. pretty - next AF gift will come from High St tho - CD4 is too late to get a consolation prize!

++++++++

Choco-m-h - I agree, hide the tests and just sit it out. Find a distraction - paint your nails, find a good book, or a good bottle, anything to stop thinking about it.

Right well I've spent £10.71 on a clearblue to tell me I'm 3+ weeks now and have collected another pee pot for docs. I swear I'm going to dehydrate myself tonight so my pee is like sunny d tomorrow. Thanks for all the sane chat. I really feel susbserviant to medical people and medical places for some reason, so think their word is The Law. This is why I try not to contact medical peeps about anything. (apart from you Phoebe) I also had a tiny bit of spotting just now, just on wiping and the web tells me everything from it's perfectly normal to it's a miscarriage. I do hate google sometimes.

Chocs step away from the tests! at least for this evening. Good news that period doesn't look like it's arriving any time soon. How many days now til you're due?

Sherry laughing at your description re: Mimi and mum. How are the oily trews?

Jars you are doing well, I have been known to regularly spend about £90 in IKEA on absolutely nothing. Lots of things for £1.25 soon add up eh.

I didn't fancy dinner but had a pancake with butter and sugar. Twas yum.

Am I the last in? Where's the ...whaddya mean it's all gone?

Sherry glad to hear the pendant's turned up - and thanks for the idea for my birthday present from my DH! I subtly shoved a picture in his face showed him earlier the jewellery for "ideas"

Chocs what the hell are you doing??? feel better? Maybe take a leaf from our resident shopaholic frequent visitor to retailers Sherry to make you feel better?

Jars, your pancakes sound YUMMY!!!! In France they make crepes and slather on the Nutella - god, they are delicious...And how's your dsis?

Tante Dubai??? Sounds wonderful, do you have a spare ticket????

Not to bore you too much but I'm all about moving forwards now from my crappy interview. I'm changing the area I look after next month and with that comes a different & better manager. It may not be the most well paid or challenging role in the world (seriously I think a 2 year old could do it if I'm honest) but there might the chance to show off contribute to web projects & change current processes and my big focus REGAIN MY SELF CONFIDENCE as it rather seems to have disappeared...so all good at the mo.Plus the management team of the new department seem to think I'm sort of expert so it's nice to have that trust :)...

...everyone asleep yet???

Folic - I'm due tomorrow so:

• should have been spotting for two days if period is on its way
• somw of these bloody tests should have been positive if I'm pregnant.

I'm in no woman's land...

Or, simply, my period is just randomly late...

Loopy great news about your move- that means you are getting rid of shitty boss yeah? Cheers!

Chocs you so know you are testing again today- keep us updated

Ok, time to catch up, i can't believe how much there is going on...

I'm going to have to do a big old annoying, name-checking everyone post or I'll forget something.

Loopy I'm really sorry about your interview, but it sounds like you've got a good plan for what to do next. I also think it's really important that you've recognised that this is erroding your confidence and you're determined to do something about it not just stay in the rut. Good for you.

Sherry gooooooood shopping. I read last week that the average cost of raising a child is now £200,000. So, surely that means we're all saving ourselves a fortune, why not shop?
Hope the 100mg clomid is still going ok. How long have you been on clomid altogether?

Jars holy shit! Interviewing that crazy crazy wax faced nutjob. Who does your sister write for? I have two generally wonderful and high acheiving (and fertile) sisters and sometimes feel a bit dull and dim in the middle.
Not that I'm at all suggesting you're dull or dim, Jars, just that I think I am

Tante I know it was ages ago now, but your description of the pajamas/curry/mug of tea seduction really made me laugh in recognition.
Also, mmmmmmmmm, holiday. What's happening with you starting clomid? Do you have a plan yet?

Chocs how's it going? Tested again yet?

And finally........

Folic hope you're feeling reassured by another clearblue. I'm sure your doctors repeat test will be fine.

Phew.

Well, I'm on CD9 and went back on clomid this cycle. I was dreading it, because I had really awful side effects for the couple of cycles I took it before IVF - headache, nausea, hot flushes for first half of cycle. Psychopathic mood swings and eeeennnooooormous boobs for the second half. But I took it at night this time and it seems, so far, to be going much better. Scan on Friday to see if I've made eggs......

Good luck for Friday Phoebe !

Am thinking "eggy" thoughts for you & visualising hens laying eggs, Easter eggs & eggs bobbing their way down a fallopian tube for you :)

Hi all!
Christ on a bike, I am mad busy with work, but just bobbing in to say howdy before the weekend - probably won't be on before Monday, but am planning a mammoth lying on my ass, eating nice things, spending 4 hrs on mumsnet evening then after all this crazy deadline shite so I'll catch you all then and respond to all the goss!

folic don't fret, all those CB tests won't be wrong!

Right, back to it yawwwwwwwwwwwn.

Loopyla - glad you have regained some PMA!

I have too - I have signed up for reflexology starting 19 March. That'll work, right?!

CD5, last day of Clomid AF has all but left the building, husband back in UK on Saturday CD8, so festivities can commence thsi weekend. It's all good!

+++++++

Oh I did a BAD THING today. I said a completely unforgivably rude thing to a random pregnant stranger today. She was hauling a toddler into his buggy and had a big pregnant belly. She turned to me and said:'It's hard work when you're carrying one in your arms and one in your tummy' and I just smiled at her and said 'I wouldn't know I'm infertile.' She was a bit nonplussed and made a sharp exit..

I can't stop saying things these days. I kept quiet for years, but these days I don't feel like I want to...

CCM - any testing/AF updates?

Phoebe - what days u on Clomid? My FS says CD2-6, but I'm just nosey..

Good luck for Friday Phoebe! Hope it goes well - you mentioned that before you responded better to clomid than to the IVF treatment.
I like your child raising cost calculation - at least I like it form this side of pregnency.

Talking about the sides - BFN again this morning, period seems to be comming. So it seems like I can go shopping!

We're gong to give TTC a bit of a break. I think I need it - I'm turnin into a fertility-obsessed, not a very nice person. especially this month was hard.

In the meantime... we're going to get married :)
We decided it's probably easier to plan everything when we know where we are with pregnancy (nowhere...) rather than go down the aisle with massive bump or massive boobs leaking milk.

Sherry - I actually liked your remark (although I know I probably shouldn't :)) And I definitely understand it, in my spotting condition

Chocs Yay! Congratulations.

I love weddings. I want every detail. Also, good decision to concentrate on something happy focus less on ttc.

Sherry I fantasise about saying things like that to smug pregnant strangers all the time, so I understand. Not ideal, but also unforgivably rude and not the end of the world. Don't worry about it.

Sorry, Sherry that should have said NOT unforgivably rude. NOT.

Yippee! our first wedding! congrats chocs

...just short message as literally running out door. Back later x

Congratulations CCM! What a nice surprise! It's all going on on this thread - births, marriages..hopefully just those!!

++++++++

Phoebe - oh don't worry - I can also do proper UNFORGIVEABLY rude when I'm in the mood..!

Sherry I'm at the station having just missed the train that would have got me there in good time for my scan (brought forward to today) and waiting for the one that will just get me there if I run. There's a groovey dad near me with his 2 or 3 year old daughter pointing everything out loudly. He just said "look, that's a big train, it must be a daddy train."
It took all my willpower not to scream "stop defining they entire world in terms of mummies and daddies and babies, you self-absorbed arse"

Now that would have been rude.

Wish me luck and think follice thoughts

Well, I made it, but not great news.

Only one 8mm follicle on the left and three really tiny ones on the right. They need to be over 18mm by ovulation to be any good.

It is only day 10, the left might grow a bit, they're bringing me back on monday to see. But it's really disappointing compared with four good, big follicles n my first couple of cycles.

But they were five months ago and I think this is just more evidence that poor old ovaries are on their last legs.

Trouble is, I'm a hopeless, bloody optimist, so I get my hopes up no matter how bleak I know the outlook actually is.

Bugger.

Hey phoebe, I, too am a die-hard optimist, long may it live

What's the alternative, eh? Chin up.

Well I rang the hospital as I am still waiting on the appt where we will start the clomid thing. They told me I had been discharged!

FFS!! So now I will have to wait all over again, won't I? Even though it was their admin error. Grrr.

Darn it. One the upside, DH is due back tonight after working awy all week. I have really missed him! Gawd I used to hate 'needy' girls. We are off to a hotel in Paris for the weekend and I am going to MAKE A FRICKING BABY. That is the end of it.

Right, I won't be going bloody anywhere if I don't meet this deadline tomorrow so laters and you didn't see me!

Grow follicles grow, you little beauties...got to think positive or you may as well throw in the towel Phoebe Hmm bet you wanted to shove that daddy train right up his daddy arse. It's total gender bullshit to teach a child anyway, that's right, all daddies are big? wtf?

Dya know what, I think we may become a thread of romantic cliche conceptions. Ironic innit, as we're a no bullshit thread. I've ticked off Valentine's Day, Tante is going to do Paris for the weekend, Chocs her wedding night (get it organised asap)...what about the rest of you? Find a romantic cliche and live it

Chocs come back and tell us the wedding plans...go on...

OK - my husband is returning from a week in the States tomorrow - I shall sweep him off his feet on his return and make a 'reunion' baby this week - that's my cliche baby!