Crikey!
I'm slightly startled by a new face and surprised that anyone has been following our dysfunctional rambling and wanting to join in, but HorseyGirl1 you are very welcome.
I won't insult you with crass sentiment and platitudes, but I am so sorry for your unimaginable loss.
Right. Weddings.
Well, I'm glad you've all already jumped in with all your advice, because I was worried I'd be letting the side down by being all girly and wedding mad.
I love wedding planning.
I got married almost exactly four years ago, our anniversary is the week after next. It was really important to me to get married and I loved the day and love the feeling of security and togetherness we've had since. That's just me, obviously, I also know great couples who have been happily unmarried for years, but for me it was important.
We had a biggish (120 people, is that big?) white wedding, because it was what we wanted, and I didn't find it stressful, but of course you have to plan whatever is right for the two of you.
I'd echo what Folic said; set your budget and then decide on the five or so most important things to you. Spend most of your money on what's important and everything else (Favours? Whatever.) can be done on a shoestring or not at all.
Don't be afraid to say things are too expensive and ask for alternatives. When I first told our florist what I wanted she came back with a quote for over £1000. For flowers FFS. I told her it was too much and she came up with loads of ways to make it much, much cheaper whilst still sticking with the concept I'd first come up with - I'd started out saying masses of red roses. In the end I had red roses, but the other arangements were mostly red tulips and foliage. That's just an example, obviously, but the point is, if something sounds unreasonably expensive, say so.
I also asked MrC what five things he remembered from weddings we'd been to to try get some perspective. He said: venue, dress, food, drink, first dance. Things like favours, themes, flowers completely passed him by.
We did have kind of a theme, in that stuff coordinated, but it evolved as we chose things we liked rather than being prescribed from the start.
The bottom line, though, and I say this as someone who really really did get excited about the details, is that at the start of the day you won't be married and at the end you'll be married to the man you love. Everything else is just window dressing and it's really important to remember that.
Ooooh, I'm feeling all warm inside now. I almost wish I could post up some of our pictures.