30s TTC: Back to school at BESHory Towers. For spiffing gels who've been TTC since before rationing ended and find conception harder than Double Latin, chiz . What ho!

[Scorpette]

Come along, we haven't got all day. Pop off your blazers and straw boaters for a mo and listen up. As Head Girl, I think you ought to know that my dear chum Darrell Rivers tells me that we're really letting the side down with our lack of baybee-winning. To that end, instead of prep and lacrosse, we'll be TTC. I know some of us are losing hope that we'll ever win the Motherhood Cup for our house, but chins up and think of England! We don't won't to end up like the bitter, childless, dried-up old spinsters running this place, do w... oh, hello Matron! Yes, yes, we're going now...

Super! We've been given the attic dorm - bagsy the bed by the window, what! We won't be disturbed when we're enjoying midnight feasts, unbridled lesbianism, pillow fights and sneaking in fellows from the nearby boy's school for some ghastly dreadfulness.

So let's pop some Joyce Grenfell on the gramophone and crack open the tuck boxes! Mater's made me a huge ginger cake and oooh, I see someone's brought pontefract cakes! Yummo! Humbugs, sherbet, elderflower fizz, eccles cakes, a whole slab of choccy - what a simply smashing haul! Hmmm, this ginger beer smells suspiciously gin-like...

Oh yes

Ariesgirl is so shit and boring. Must be more creative. Ummmm...............

Today is Day 9. Should I clamber on this eve, do you think? Given the Promise and all? He may be asleep, but that shouldn't matter should it?

The problem with that, ArioCookie is that gravity is against you! See, I would find it all a lot easier if I could clamber on, do the biz, and ge'off. But nooooo, the bugger must be on top. That wasn't your question, was it?
When do you usually OV? How's the FJ? What's the whining about creativity?

Tis easy; clamber on, do the dirty, clamber off and stand on head for, oooh, until you start feeling odd. This should ensure white goods end up correctly located. Er...possibly.

Re creativity - I am bored of my username and admire your new one.

Re clambering on. Sperm can swim upwards. Trufax. And you can always flop down immediately.

Re OV. Dunno. Am hoping Pol's device will help me out.

Re FFJ. Well a bit. But not loads.

I think I'm barren anyway. And I'm a horrible rabble rouser who brings packs over to other threads to bully. Oh!!!!!

More wine I think.

Thank you lovely SheRamsTheBoyDown.

Reeeealy? 'Tis my favourite pozish! Nothing else works as well for us.

'Ere, 'ere rest on my ample bosom. 'Ell, there is even space to rest the wine glass. Now to serious business: do it every other day from now on. Start today or tomorrow. You have to listen to me, I have a elfmolester prefect badge!

Nothing wrong with a Horoscope-based name

Can I call you TheSeaSpider instead? (You know why )

Call me daft, but these latest posts suggest that you need to have sex with a man to win a baybee. None of the specialists I have seen have recommended this nastiness, so I will give it a miss, ta.

You know, sometimes I do feel like the possible IUI is there as a response to our failure to do it frequently enough. The fact that the jizzults are not that great does nothing to dissuade me that it is our fault and that we really do not fulfill our bonking duties. Therefore the docs must bonk for us.

I am a bit tired, perhaps I should stop talking.

"The Sea Spider" . I like the sea part but you know my feelings about spiders.

So in essence, people who need help conceiving don't bonk enough? It's a thought, certainly, and could be ample reason for my failure to diff in the MSDP.

But Spiderella do not take it as an accusation! I was just displaying my own menkulnes, which, yes, runs along the lines you just described. Essentially it is all my fault. What's that test someone posted once about whether you think things are your own fault or faith or something like that? Anyway, I think I am a kind of person that always thinks everything is my fault.

Hey the new Hawkins book looks good, anyone read it?

No no no! God! I thought it was funny! We certainly haven't shagged enough this summer as we're just too knackered. The last couple of times the droid has turned up I've felt like saying in a friendly fashion "Oh hi! I was expecting you!", whereas the couple of times before that, I was genuinely mizz because I thought we'd done all the right things. It's deffo my fault! I'm with you on that one.

Apologies to all for the over-enthusiastic use of exclamation marks in that last post !.

I hear ya girl, I hear ya.

Well I'm going to Bedfordshire.

Night Mountie Elffucker HopOnLegolas.

Night any lurkers.

Night lurkers.

night

Ha, ha! They come out at night.

I propose Ramalamadingdong as a new name for EducatingRieta

Just realised that the MSDP is over and I failed But now we have the Mass AUTUMN Diffment Project and birthday luck has to be on my and Lyra's side (and anyone else with an Autumn birfday)!

Do we have a lot of lurkers? Hello and nightnight, lurkers!

I distinctly remember discussing at the beginning of MSDP that it stretches into September. So there is still time. Otherwise MAD may suit some of us better .

CH's birfay in Autumn, does that count?

I am quite fond of lurkers. I imagine them as our own pet fireflies. Indeed, I propose a nightly well wishing for lurker flies.

We only come out at night, the days are much too bright We only come out at night...

Darlings! I feel wretched that appear to be paying not the slightest bit of attention to what's going down on the Dorms. I promise I am reading all, and lighting the BESHcandle wherever appropriate, but life has become unbelievably hectic lately, which given I actually am the laziest sow that ever lived is not good news. Yesterday I worked a 12 hour day on one banana, three squares of Turkish delight and a cup of tea, which at least might help my "Try not to be so fucking fat" campaign .

Anyways, sorry for the absence. Another hectic day beckons. You'll all have not the slightest notion who I am by the time I get round to posting propply again

Meanwhile I have to also try and clamber on (top phrase!) tonight, as my CBFM has given me two bars. Also, I feel like a shag.

KTHXBAI

Amendment: Eleven hours. And I had two cups of tea. I must learn not to exaggerate.

Banger me old Mash! What's all the work about?

We have two tasks in common: clamber on and reduce self. I think OV is late this month, but am expecting egginess any of these days. As for self-reduction, I am starting today . But you have to come back and tell me whether to go for SW or not! Otherwise I have to use my own brain, and that's already used up on dodging work.