1001 Fallopian Nights: The BESH-Harem Opens for 30s TTCs & their silk pyjamas. Sherbert on tap. Baklava made by doe-eyed boys freely available. Kelims provided for SWI. Hookahs optional but welcome.

[Headbanger]

Scented silken tent opens its flaps* for business. Nubile veiled houris available for deep tissue sandalwood massage for that pre-droidal unease. Starlit pit tended by gleam-eyed sheiks proffering rum-soaked dates on golden platters. Goatskin rugs laid beneath hanging brass lamps for the un-PC BESH to frolic in furs. Intriguingly tarnished lantern housing benevolent Zita-Genie buried beneath piles of embroidered cushions. Don your curl-toed slippers & coin-fringed skirt, and I'll see you in the corner with a young Omar Sharif and ice cubes made from Tanqueray laced with desert honey and no you can't talk to him he's mine...

Aw, good luck to Museneff .

I think I have calmed down a bit now, sorry about that. V.pleased with the 'suetty thighs' phrase, HB sadly not far off the truth.

Boo @ Mr O being shagknackered. I had to contend with a large bout of that from Mr Bun earlier this month and I think once they decide it's not happening, it's just not happening no matter how much we grind our teeth, damnit.

WHY is suddenly last orders at half nine round here?

Oh that reminds me, on the isle of wight last weekend I was sitting in a pub garden when the barmaid came round announcing last orders.... at 9pm on a Friday night. What is THAT about???

Eh? thats well odd.

Glad all is quiet on the stewpot front. When do you get your own laptop back?

I don't knoooooooooooooooooow They said at least a week, gah. Do they not UNDERSTAND that I have no life in the real world?

How are you lettuce ?

How could I forget Lolly's tango feet?!? I knew there was something. St Tropez do a fake tan stripper that you pour into a bath, presumably you could just pour it into a bucket of warm water and soak just your feet... or yes, some chemists sell fake tan remover wipes.

ohhh thats HARSH!!! almost as bad as MN being banned in my work. I'm ok thanks, just watching 10 things I hate about you (shameful) and crocheting, and MNing. I am WOMAN, see me multitask

Anyone just watched that dreadful old (30!) hag glamour model putting down her intelligent daughter for wanting to study? MrSquash and I had many a grrr moment.

Hey ho, tis def quiet here!

Can only be quick, but just want to light candle and send huge luff to MuseNeff. Just cos it's a v common thing doesn't make it less scary for the family. Special big squeeze for lovely AuntyMuse

HB, I'll send my Mum round yours - told me facts of life at 5.

Lozza, your tangoed-tootsies can't be more gross than my all-natural feet, so don't worry about the foot-lady's reaction. I have to* regularly pick huge chunks of dead skin off mine and that's not even the worst of it: ex-dancer, innit

Devon is having a deliciously sexy effect on TYF. I'm supposed to OV today but didn't get my usual signs. Doesn't mean I didn't, of course. TYF's cousins' kids flocking to me like I'm the Broody Pied Piper (5 mins of chatting and the little girl is curled up next to me talking about ballet and asking me to play with her hair ). Subtle inferences that it's a shame I'm too old to have kids cos I'm so good with em. ARRRRRRRRGH! Everything clean but have had a little cry at how fucking rude everyone is. Is not out-and-out-rudeness; is non-intentional exclusion and being treated like an outsider and so on. Ho hum. Can't wait to get back to my eccentric, soppy, passionate, slighty-smothering, caring parents who make everyone feel so welcome and wanted and for whom no topic is off-limits for a good natter or debate.
Blahblahblah, MeMeMe.

*Like to.

Sorry Scorps that you're having a lonely time down there; but great at the effect on TYF!

I think I worked out (in a dream, of all stoopid things) that SWI = Sex with intent and SFF = sex for fun?

I have, on the millionth time of trying, managed to connect to this thread on my phone. I never knew what sff was either, and bit embarrassed it never occurred to me either!

Squishlet , it is indeed.

Hoorah for the Devon-Effect, scorps , long may it continue! Maybe you can pack up some clotted cream and take it home to prolong it a bit.

It seems we all have slightly manky feet, tango'ed or not. Perhaps that is also a BESHthing that comes with being 30+ and haggish? Can we no longer reach our toes to titivate them? Buggeration.

Morning all! Massive lie in this morning as WFH today, Actually feel human for a change. Sposed to start in 5 and still in my nightie.

scorpelina Glad TYF is feeling fruity but pls to ignore all slights however unintentional, small people flocking to you only goes to prove what a wonderful mum you will be one day v v soon. I currently have Mt Vesuvius festering on my chin and one of the girls in work said 'oh, you're not pregnant are you? sposed to make you spotty." To which i replied "I wish" That shut her up. Seriously do people not think that might not be the best comment to make to a childless 38 yr old? Morons.

squishles dreaming about MN? oh dears. I still don't know what BOC stands for. Maybe it will come to me in a dream.

yeye for cass and geekery success, i gave up trying to get mn on my phone as it takes to long and is too small to read.

Morning!

muse shed load of positive vibes musenephew way. Hope he's back home & having lots of cwtches soon, x

Well, despite your best efforts neither lemon juice or toothpaste worked. So I just loofah'd & pumice-stoned to within an inch of my raw flesh & I have reduced my feet to a mild peach colour. Whacked some matching polish on toenails & jobs a good 'un. Ready for baybee inducing reflexology on Sat.

OK, 'nother dilemma that is acksherly TTC related. Who'd have thunk it?

I'm still trying to temp, though its more addiction as its not really showing any definite patterns. However, temp has risen this morning - I'm only CD 9/10. I also have a sore throat & am frantically fighting off a cold - could this cause temp increase or have I ov'd & facing another crazy short month?

I'm clutching at straws as I did have ovary ache & pant snot - I don't want to ovulate so early, droid has hardly finished, hardly any time for SWI.

scorps glad to hear Devon is having desired effect on TYF - enjoy!

aries how's your neck this morning?

Sorry, yet another selfish post. Have some danish pastries & a toe stamp by way of apology.

Lozza - What's your normal cycle length? General rule is that you know you have ovulated when you have 3 temps that are higher than the previous 5. Are you using Fertility Friend? If so, post the link to your chart and we can have a look at it.
Fighting a cold/infection will def. raise your temp, so it may just be a blip.

You can get pant snot several days before you OV as the oestrogen builds, so you need to get to it until you see a sustained tmep shift.

My chart has just shown that in fact I OV'd on day 24 (I disagree and think it was on day 25 but that's just splitting hairs), so poor Mr O can be rested (I'm making him sound like a work horse!). We tried to SWI this morning but to no avail. He left for work asking if he can have tonight off. When I said I wasn't sure yet he muttered something about not ever wanting to shag again .

Morning loulou I am temping for the first month this month and i hadn't even THOUGHT about what would happen if i became sick. I'm guessing that could be what's throwing your temp out. Also shouldn't pant snot come for a few days prior to OV rather than the same day. I'd be inclined to err on the side of caution and make like bunnies for the next few days. Endorphins also good for fighting off colds so just see it as medicinal either way (I'm such a romantic)

On the other hand, wouldnt a fever be a much more dramatic change in temp than a fertility one? Sorry not being much help.

Actually just doing the FF 'course' on charting and this ones on BBT so will see if it says anything about sick temps and get back to you.

cross posted orc for you and Mr O, must be really hard. It hasn't quite got to that stage for us yet, mainly because I am a bit crap and sometimes cant be bothered even if i know we should (no wonder still haven't won a baybee) I am all over it this month tho so might be a different situ in a few months time.

Oh OrchideePerfume that is tough, sausage. 'tis also something I have said many a time, and have accused the OM of secretly thinking.

Thanks ladies. orchid usual cycle length is 31/32 days, but last month was a novely 24 following 3 months on Clomid. It seemed to completely mess up cycle. I'm not using FF or anything - being honest I don't really have a lot of faith / luck in my temping anyway as I'm quite a restless sleeper. Just gone a bit more menkal & crazy this month after novelty 24 dayer.

Poor you & Mr O. Tis tough, non? I apologetically tell the boyf he's on duty - he says great, he'll never tire of it but after 14 yrs together I can detect a hint of "trying to keep me happy". He just knows better that to voice it

I'm still seeing the thread, woohoo! Lolly a rise in temp is one of your immune system's first responses to infection, to help isolate and kill off any nasties. So it's likely just that. Trust me, I'm 2/5 of a doctor :-)

Mebbe give him a month off, orc - or at least tell him you're having a month off TCC then craftily do OPK etc anyway and attempt to shag him bandy on the appropriate day?

Er...which I have never tried to do, honest.

Charting sounds difficult. I have enough trouble hauling my sorry arse out of bed in the morning without remembering to do thermometer thingy beforehand.

Cass I hope you are the top 2/5 as the legs probably wouldn't give terribly good medical advice.

saffy only just started the charting but finding it difficult to get out of bed would prob be an advantage, i'm the other way and keep forgetting not to speak/wee/throw the cat off the bed. :D But other than that it seems to be going ok. Think weekends are going to be the sticking point for me as alarm goes off at 6.30 in the week and even tho we normally wake up pretty early on the weekend i am loth to set an alarm for 6.30 at weekends just to take my temp :S

now have an image of cass in a v short white coat covering the 2/5ths of her that is a doctor

That reminds me, bombe de salade - how is Mt Vesuvius this morning? I have a Mt Etna festering on the edge of one nostril, it looks lovely.

Still enormous, red and sore. Its pathetic for me to complain as I have otherwise quite good skin and I only get one spot at a time but they always seem to be the grandmother of all other spots and therefore more noticeable. And recently they have left a scar for months afterwards which is obviously a sign of my increasing decrepitude.

MrB asked me last night which head I was going to kiss him with, cheeky sweat.

Poor Salad. Does it look like this --> ? Let's hope it doesn't explode, killing the population of an entire town and submerging them for a couple of thousand years. Was that Vesuvius? Or was it Etna? Why are random spots so much worse in your thirties?

Poor ScorpsInDevon . Not too long now.

Neck's getting better thanks. Phew. I have done Cass's stretches too. I tried temp taking. Am I right in thinking it's fairly pointless if you don't get more than four hours of unbroken sleep per night? I wake up often so the few days I did temp take were so stupid I stopped in disgust, thinking I was clearly a freak.

Yep thats was Vesuvius, the city of Pompeii was flatted as soon as I got in the car after work yesterday :D I have no self control hehe.

Temping is more accurate if you get at least 5 hrs altogether and at least 3 hrs sleep before you wake up, so if you get up for a pee at 3 ish you should be ok if you are temping at 6.30 for example. I often half wake up/doze before the alarm but unless I actually get up and move about I have just used my temp from 6.30 and they seem to be pretty much the same as when I've slept right through. This is my first month tho so who knows if thats right. I am finding it quite interesting at the moment but who knows if the novelty will wear off or if my obsessional side will kick in and I will become super experienced chart lady. At least I feel like I am doing 'something' so it appeals to my controlling side. Do you have VERY broken sleep patterns then air?