Stinky I remember doing that! On text-books, no? Also, we used to say, "Want to know how to entertain a stupid person (it is possible that in those regrettably un-PC years we said 'retard') for hours?", and then hand over a scrap of paper on which was written PTO. On both sides. Geddit? God, grammar-school girls are both hilarious and badass
Poor Aries. You are much too pretty and special to be hurting. Have you bought some Voltarol? It is the good shit, I promise.
Oh hello FarmGirl I was hoping you'd stick around. I see you as being all wholesome and apple-cheeked; good hearted but brisk when the occasion requires; able to either drown an extraneous kitten or bottle-feed a lamb. . . please not to spoil my urban fantasties of another life. Can you make jam?
Saffy love, I simultaneously slap and cuddle you for those sentiments. The slap is because we all read the Grauniad (no? yes?) and know these feelings are beneath us because we weave our own yogurt and positively adore paying a high rate of tax that our less privileged cousins may have plasma TVs and Subaru Impreza Turbos and Juicy Couture tracksuits food, warmth and shelter. The cuddle is because I feel it too. I also think people that permit their offspring to be perpetually plugged into a plastic dummy should be sterilised, and on this matter I say to myself what I say to you: judge not, lest karma sees to it that a gust of wind blows your skirt up on Fleet Street and a thousand passing bankers and barristers get full view of your suetty thighs and your torn greying M&S granny-pants.
I speak purely theoretically, you understand.
Re. piss-sticks: I've just bought 20 off of that ebay for £4. This avoids ne'er-do-wells and their irrepressible reproductive systems, and is also CHEAP.