The 2023 Poncetastic Christmas Thread

[VivaJen]

Welcome to the 2023 Poncetastic thread. With a nod to Fellatio (wherever she may be) at the stroke of midnight, let the poncing commence.

"OK, first of all, I know it's still September by we need to start this thread now because as you all know, having a truly Poncetastic Christmas involves precision planning, strategy, bravery, heroics, and frequently martyrdom.

So, if you, like me, actually want to make the next twelve weeks of your life a misery by hand-crafting your cards, finding a huge bucket for Nigella's turkey in brine, pickling pears, shrivelling oranges in a low oven for those rustic au naturel decorations, dragging half a holly bush back from the woods, and just generally being a smug annoying jobs worth ponce, join me on this thread.

Feel free to post photos of previous tree-trimming, cake icing or table centrepiece triumphs, discuss this year's bauble colour themes, debate the merits of Delia versus Gordon, road-test a selection of canapés and cocktails, (all in the line of duty) and link to lovely inspirational photos/craft ideas for a truly Poncetastic Christmas.

Warning: If your idea of a good Christmas involves Pizza, ITV, gravy granules or anything with 'Aunt Bessie’s' on the packet, this is not the thread for you".

We purposely make it with hot chillies. Gluttons for punishment! 🌶️ 🔥 🤣

I am such a wimp!

Having faffed about in a non-commital way for around the past decade, I'm going for it this year. Fruit soaking in a disgusting amount of amaretto ready for my cakes; rum mincemeat made; Christmas pudding gin steeping and I'm on my second of 3 crochet blankets for gifts. I am unleashed. It will be glorious! <unrealisticexpectationsrising>

@piscofrisco so sorry to hear about your house.
BrandAlley are doing a sale at the moment on Christmas decs and they have some of those paper stars you’re taking about, still not cheap mind but maybe worth a look?

Ooh like the sound of bramble gin, damsons already soaking. Bought cake ingredients this morning & planning to make mincemeat at weekend & pop in freezer.

Old-fashioned coloured fairy lights- aldi had a modern led version on sale last Yr & they were lovely, reminded me of childhood Christmases, I bought a 2nd set for my DP who were delighted!

@thenewaveragebear1983 sharpies! That was inspired!

I put two sets of lights on my tree last year and alternated between the tasteful white ones and the glorious technicolour. But the modern ones are a bit much.

I’m really hankering after Cinderella carriages

This is my kind of thread!

This year we are in our new (bigger) home and now have a baby so the pomp needs to be increased massively! Also hosting for the first time! Very grateful for any tips and guidance regarding starting new family traditions.

Oh @DanceWithYourBalloon the coasters are great. I might copy be inspired to make some in my white and sage green theme.

Also loving the sharpie idea for fairy lights.

Yay! So pleased it's time to ponce again. I'm not hosting this year so I probably need to dial back on the food side of things but I am going to do wreaths, cards and maybe some knitting.

I'll do some chilli jam as well. If you do follow the Nigella recipe it definitely needs another 10-15 mins longer than she suggests. However I strongly recommend not getting distracted with other things and leaving it too long as chilli flavoured treacle is a devil to get out of the gas burner!

@friggingnora Maybe not quite what you are after but I have made this before which was very good.

www.goodhousekeeping.com/uk/food/recipes/a536582/chocolate-and-chestnut-roulade/

That was the year I foraged my own chestnuts. Can you tell this is where I belong 😂

Absolutely narvelllus,.. can't wait for the poncing to begin!!

' I want to knit some mini Christmas sweater gift tags.'

@DanceWithYourBalloon this is just the best thing I've seen in ages! I love this!

I have the pattern saved somewhere if anyone wants it. 🧶

Oh I wish I could knit!

As always, I'm late to the thread! Although, I think I was "on time" last year, maybe 🤔

I haven't really thought much further than baking cakes at October half term, making pastry at the same time & planning to go to York Christmas Market on the train with the girls. Maybe I need a magazine for some inspiration!

Presents are pretty much sorted though - we're going to The Eras tour, which is costing a fair bit, so the girls have been warned there'll be something large but not massive to open (need ideas for dd2), and the rest is likely to be made up of the 'usuals'.

One thing I do want to do this year is master the church for my crochet village! It's been in the naughty corner for a good loooong while now 🙈

I'm loving seeing all the photo's of previous poncing! The polar bear cakes are fab & the snow globe one has reminded me that I have a cocktail bowl lurking from a birthday cake years ago...maybe there's an idea forming 🤔

Please can I have the pattern for the knitted jumper tags.

I saw on Instagram that Poundland had those paper decorative stars.

Thank you, I wish I could knit to be able to do some! It's something that's on my list of 'when the kids are bigger and work is less busy' to learn to do.

I'd love to see photos if you do make them so I can fawn over them

For those who are looking for paper stars, snowflakes and fans, check out Dunhelm. They have a fab collection. Very tasteful 😀

I also did a globe cake a couple of years ago a bit of a faff but quite effective.

I like the idea of using snowflakes on the glass.

Does anyone have a link to a crochet pattern for Christmas stars that would be suitable for a not-quite-beginner-but-rusty crocheter?

@50fedup Thankyou! Will look now

@dance yes please for the knitting pattern. Promise I will post pics!

@BeastOfBODMAS @VimtoVimto

Here's the pattern.
They knit very quickly and I then use wool to stitch the recipients initial on.
They can then keep them to put on their tree. 🌲

If the image quality isn't quite there, I can DM it too

Ooh do you have a link for the chocolate stout cake it sounds lush