The 2023 Poncetastic Christmas Thread

[VivaJen]

Welcome to the 2023 Poncetastic thread. With a nod to Fellatio (wherever she may be) at the stroke of midnight, let the poncing commence.

"OK, first of all, I know it's still September by we need to start this thread now because as you all know, having a truly Poncetastic Christmas involves precision planning, strategy, bravery, heroics, and frequently martyrdom.

So, if you, like me, actually want to make the next twelve weeks of your life a misery by hand-crafting your cards, finding a huge bucket for Nigella's turkey in brine, pickling pears, shrivelling oranges in a low oven for those rustic au naturel decorations, dragging half a holly bush back from the woods, and just generally being a smug annoying jobs worth ponce, join me on this thread.

Feel free to post photos of previous tree-trimming, cake icing or table centrepiece triumphs, discuss this year's bauble colour themes, debate the merits of Delia versus Gordon, road-test a selection of canapés and cocktails, (all in the line of duty) and link to lovely inspirational photos/craft ideas for a truly Poncetastic Christmas.

Warning: If your idea of a good Christmas involves Pizza, ITV, gravy granules or anything with 'Aunt Bessie’s' on the packet, this is not the thread for you".

Yay! Poncing!

This year I am determined to give hand made gifts to the (adult) DCs. I am considering hats, mittens, maybe a throw for a couch.

First time Christmas poncer here and excited to get stuck in! I've much more spare time on my hands at the mo, and much less disposable income... 😬 ... so I'm wondering how many presents I can make - we only really give to the kids in the family though - ages 7, 11, 14, girls... does anyone have any ideas? I'm arty and crafty but not a knitter! Thanks!

Put the tree up today! Too soon??

Thank you @TreesandRug I bought this yesterday on your recommendation. It looks really good. Something I plan to sit and colour with my DD over a few nights. The plan is that it will be quite calming and get us into the Christmas spirit. Fingers crossed!!

😱😂😂

Hello! I've previously admired these threads from afar, this year I'm hoping to have enough time to join in properly. I started on Saturday with my first ever jam-making exploits: raspberry and vanilla. Worked a treat, will never buy jam from a shop again.

Already made the Christmas cake, other planned poncing includes gingerbread house and whatever I manage from Nigel Slater this year.

@Nothingbuttheglory raspberry and vanilla sounds divine! What recipe did you use? I do not have time to delve into jam making

@stupidtia if you follow Hattifant on fb (maybe insta as well, I think) she sometimes posts freebies too - I have Christmas trees & some woodland garlands, as well as bookmarks & globe ornaments downloaded too. Definitely worth a look.

I downloaded a house one from somewhere for free last year too, but cannot for the life of me remember where - I'll see if I can find it again later on & see if it says where it was from.

@lucysmam I simplified the BBC Good Food Easy Raspberry Jam recipe.

1 kg raspberries
1 kg jam sugar
Juice of 1 lemon
4 tbsp vanilla essence
Knob butter

Put the ingredients in biggest pan. Heat up. Rapid boil 7-8 mins. Test jam by dropping on to a plate that's been in the freezer. When it wrinkles as you push your finger through, bung it in sterilised jars. (I followed the Delia method of washing jars in soapy water, rinsing, then baking them at 180°C for 5 mins)

The raspberry/vanilla is not my idea, but a truly delicious jam that now costs north of £4 per small jar. So jam-making partly intended as a money-saving measure. And even including the cost of all ingredients, buying new jars and a flipping jam funnel, I'll have saved money after eating 2 batches.

That recipe makes around 1700 ml

Excellent...I shall invest in raspberries! Thank you.

Ah ok, that sounds great, thank you!

Your post's just reminded me to look! It was on this page.

I've just checked & you have to scroll past all the star stuff first...not sure if the star one's free or not but I'll be looking later on 🎅

@CrushingOnRubies Not too soon if that's what makes you happy :)

It's because we got a good early bird deal on the one we wanted. And We had to check that everything was ok and working (inbuilt lights) so out it up admired it . Praised the puppy for not attacking it and then put it away again.

@CrushingOnRubies Haha, we did that last month, got a bargain tree and had to put it together to make sure it was all ok, otherwise sods law would mean when we did want to put it up, you can guarantee something would be wrong!

Tch. I've had no time for ANY poncing yet. Determined to get to hobby craft this eve to buy felt for my wreath at least.

@Nothingbuttheglory that sounds delicious, I love raspberry jam. Re costs, I have an allotment and had a bumper strawberry crop this year and made most of it into jam, like you I calculated the cost versus a good quality bought jam and calculated I saved about £25 which is enough to pay my allotment rent for the year.

Hi ponces. Had a difficult year this year (having lost my lovely dad) so looking forward to doing some nice Christmassy things to cheer myself up. I want to make my own selection boxes for my daughters this year, preferably something that can reused each year - any ideas or tips? They’ll be 6 and 9 at Christmas so I’d like to make or buy something that can be used again and again.

@Irritatedmum could you make something like a crayon roll but big enough to put a chocolate bar in each slot? Use Christmas fabric and they'd roll up and not need much storage room for the rest of the year.

Oh I am so excited for this!!! Placemarking.

5 jars of chilli jam made and a batch of mushroom soup to use up some fading mushrooms.

@Irritatedmum I'm sorry for your loss.

Would a hamper work? Hobbycraft have loads of wooden crates that are great for painting/decoupage/whatever, and picnic baskets etc as well. Might be worth a look. Could use them to store Xmas decorations between times.

@Trumpton that looks delicious!

I'm currently in the market for a mincemeat recipe if anyone has a firm favourite.

I love this one.

Sorry. Method here!

@NoWordForFluffy Oooh thank you! Does it have to go straight into pies or can you jar it, do you think?