The 2023 Poncetastic Christmas Thread

[VivaJen]

Welcome to the 2023 Poncetastic thread. With a nod to Fellatio (wherever she may be) at the stroke of midnight, let the poncing commence.

"OK, first of all, I know it's still September by we need to start this thread now because as you all know, having a truly Poncetastic Christmas involves precision planning, strategy, bravery, heroics, and frequently martyrdom.

So, if you, like me, actually want to make the next twelve weeks of your life a misery by hand-crafting your cards, finding a huge bucket for Nigella's turkey in brine, pickling pears, shrivelling oranges in a low oven for those rustic au naturel decorations, dragging half a holly bush back from the woods, and just generally being a smug annoying jobs worth ponce, join me on this thread.

Feel free to post photos of previous tree-trimming, cake icing or table centrepiece triumphs, discuss this year's bauble colour themes, debate the merits of Delia versus Gordon, road-test a selection of canapés and cocktails, (all in the line of duty) and link to lovely inspirational photos/craft ideas for a truly Poncetastic Christmas.

Warning: If your idea of a good Christmas involves Pizza, ITV, gravy granules or anything with 'Aunt Bessie’s' on the packet, this is not the thread for you".

We put it in jars. It stores well.

Finally caught up with the thread! Happy Poncing Season all!

I’m not really a crafty person but this year am making a wreath at a wreath workshop afternoon in the village at the end of November and I have just ordered a metal advent candle holder and some moss and some candles to make an advent candle wreath.

I bought a Christmas magazine - Scandi Christmas- and have just sat in the sun in the garden reading it. Have decided to go with a Scandi theme this year in the kitchen/dining/sitting area.

The last few years I think I’ve tried to do too much of different styles and it was a bit of a mishmash. So aiming for more simplicity this year. I have a lot (really really a lot!) of Christmas decorations and each year I add more and then try to use them all. I need to learn restraint! Every surface does NOT need a display!

Living room will be quite traditional.

Hallway I think will be quite simple too. Again Scandi theme I think. Might need an IKEA trip!

Food wise I’ve ordered the turkey. It’s just us three for Christmas I think ut have family visiting over New Year so want plan and get ahead with things to make to freeze ahead.

And this year I will actually read Nigel Slater’s Christmas Chronicles!

Depends what they like, but kits they can make are good- make your own bath bombs kit- they’ve got recipes on the bbc food website, and you can put all the ingredients in a decoupage box/ cardboard box with nice wrapping paper? My 7 old loved a diy rainbow slime kit ( again ingredients not expensive) and potions kit (baking soda and coloured vinegar in test tubes to make ‘Christmas elf potions’. Or if you want to make it yourself- scented candles in simple and relatively inexpensive, or some fimo jewellery for older ones? You can get leather look fimo now which is great for making earrings. A ceramic bauble stamped with their name on it is always a nice smaller gift. Hope that helps

Today is cake making day. My fruit has been steeping in brandy and citrus zest/juice for a fortnight. In true poncetastic fashion I have just made my own butter (inspired by a MN thread a while back). If there's any fruit left I'll make my puddings and leave them to mature after the first steaming.

I hosted Canadian Thanksgiving yesterday and made a big batch of Pumpkin Spice so am going to look for some more recipes to use that plus have a go at pumpkin spice coffees at home!

My house is ponced for autumn and I need to start thinking about what needs preparing for Christmas. I think the weekend after next will be Christmas puddings, and this weekend will be sloe gin. I still have bottle from last year, but have 2-3 batches worth of sloes frozen too.

I am feeling a little under the weather today though so need to not overplan the run up to Christmas.

Can anyone recommend a Christmas cake recipe that it’s not too late to start now (fruit cake). After 32 years of marriage I was saying in a group setting yesterday that nobody in our house likes Christmas cake when DH piped up “I love fruit cake, and the marzipan and icing”. Maybe tell me before now?

@Flatandhappy if you don’t regularly make fruit cake and don’t want to spend a fortune on all the individual ingredients you can buy kits in major supermarkets, I haven’t seen any yet though, I think it’s still fairly early for cake-making. I may or may not bother this year, not a lot of it gets eaten in our family.

hi all! Here’s a bit of seasonal poncing that I did last year for those who mentioned wanting to do something autumnal, a seasonal foliage display

@Flatandhappy

I don't start mine for about another fortnight , but like you , have not many fans of it . So I make one full size square one , cut it into two , and use one half for Christmas and leave the other until when it's cold and miserable in February to cheer up a cup of tea 😀

That’s lovely @ManderleyFan

@ManderleyFan I make mine at half term: that gives it two months to reach perfection.

If you keep it airtight it will stay fresh for ages even once you've cut into it.

I've got reships in a vase of glycerine and water to see if it does actually work and they'll look all bright and shiny for the eventual wreath.

M&S have their Christmas cake kits in. The fruit comes soaked in brandy. I think they are about £8. Last year they started reducing them in November.

I've used Good Housekeeping's recipe for the past 30 years. Christ that makes me feel old.

Thanks, I will google Good Housekeeping to hopefully find the recipe. I am in Aus and haven’t seen kits in the supermarkets here although mince pies puddings etc. have been on sale for a couple of weeks!

@ManderleyFan

That is so pretty.

@ManderleyFan love your foliage display!

@NoWordForFluffy how is your move coming along? We are still waiting to exchange, to complete on Friday, it’s bonkers. Everything is packed except for a jumper I’m knitting for DD, so I feel like I’m missing out on seasonal pottering that would have been good for my nerves!

Its lovely seeing what everyone else is up to.

You're doing better than I am, @BeastOfBODMAS! 3 weeks on and still no response to enquiries from the vendor's solicitor (and 2 weeks since the amended plan was sent to them). Sigh. Though 17 Nov has always been our preferred date for completion, so there's time. I'm just impatient!

Good luck with your move!

I use the "As you like it" Christmas cake recipe from BBC good food. It'll be absolutely fine if you make it now.

We moved in the summer so I cant wait to ponce the new house!
Having a log burner fitted in November in the living room so we can have crackling fires all over Christmas! And a lovely wooden floating mantle shelf which I plan to decorate with a lovely garland.

I finally have the space for a real Christmas tree too!

@NoWordForFluffy sounds like you have plenty of time for it all to come together. We’ve still not exchanged. I should buy a bottle of brandy tomorrow, even though I planned to veganise that stout and chocolate Christmas cake recipe so it won’t be needed for that!

@Blixem you’re going to have so much fun decorating, excited for you!

Oh my goodness! I've just checked out a fairly large Tesco order, for the next month ish, and then realised I forgot cake ingredients 🙈 I daren't go back into it - loads dropped out as I was checking out first time round so I went back & added different of the same 🙄

I did buy one of the small cross stitch card kits from The Works though, for my dad, so I'll make a start on that over the weekend.

@lucysmam, does Tesco not have the same facility as Sainsbury's, where you can add extra items (one at a time) without going into the order to amend? I love that feature when I remember items that I want to add!

I don't think so - last time I tried, it opened up the whole order again. We'll have a walk down to little Asda over the weekend for them.

Thank you @Houseofsardines yes definitely helpful and apologies for my delayed response!
Will definitely take a look at the leather fimo - we could make earrings or necklaces for the older cousins.

@ThreeRingCircus thank you.

I love the seasonal displays, but I'm still in my autumn declutter and deep clean phase, and I want to paint a room so that will have to wait for me.

Will make two small cakes this weekend, using an adapted version of Mrs Robin's fruit cake from the old Farmhouse Kitchen book - still my favourite.

Happy poncing