The 2023 Poncetastic Christmas Thread

[VivaJen]

Welcome to the 2023 Poncetastic thread. With a nod to Fellatio (wherever she may be) at the stroke of midnight, let the poncing commence.

"OK, first of all, I know it's still September by we need to start this thread now because as you all know, having a truly Poncetastic Christmas involves precision planning, strategy, bravery, heroics, and frequently martyrdom.

So, if you, like me, actually want to make the next twelve weeks of your life a misery by hand-crafting your cards, finding a huge bucket for Nigella's turkey in brine, pickling pears, shrivelling oranges in a low oven for those rustic au naturel decorations, dragging half a holly bush back from the woods, and just generally being a smug annoying jobs worth ponce, join me on this thread.

Feel free to post photos of previous tree-trimming, cake icing or table centrepiece triumphs, discuss this year's bauble colour themes, debate the merits of Delia versus Gordon, road-test a selection of canapés and cocktails, (all in the line of duty) and link to lovely inspirational photos/craft ideas for a truly Poncetastic Christmas.

Warning: If your idea of a good Christmas involves Pizza, ITV, gravy granules or anything with 'Aunt Bessie’s' on the packet, this is not the thread for you".

I’ve seen this thread title many times over the years, always read it as pon-te-cas-tal. I presumed it was some kind of cooking method that i’d never heard of. For the first time I’ve read the title and intro properly and I’m GUTTED at all the poncing I’ve been missing out on!! I am absolutely all in for a poncetastic Christmas!! Very excited for our local Craft shops yangstravagansa Day tomorrow and intend to stock up on materials.

@Houseofsardines
thank you I would love to see your handmade wreath

I have found my people! I am going to have two trees. One with pink ribbons, glass baubles and swans. Another with pear baubles and partridges. Not sure I can commit to making popcorn garlands this year as they take hours! I’m also going to get a small dowel and hang it thought the pendant light over the dining table and festoon it with greenery and maybe some dark mercury baubles. Loving everyone’s plans ♥️

@Neekoh @Trumpton I think I might look at cross stitch, I haven't done any in years! I think one of the little ones you posted should work up fairly quickly Trumpton. I've got a "coffee date" with dd1 on Monday so she can spend her Costa voucher (from her birthday in January), so we'll have a look in The Works then. Thank you for the offer to post one though 😊

I'm going to get out my village tomorrow to wash it. Some of it's a bit squished from being stored. I'm hoping that, a year on, I have less troubles with the gauge for the church. No idea what I'm doing differently with that building but I've tried it the past 2 years & couldn't get it the right size.

If I still can't get it, I did download another village pattern for some aspects of it (bird bath, streetlamp, bridge) but it's buildings need to be supported with a block of...something inside them. Unless I can work out the net of them & construct the same way as the original 🤔 then I could try that church.

<adds to to do list>

Oooh ! There I was in Sainsbury’s today , when the Good housekeeping Christmas collection caught my eye ( which of course I bought ) , and I thought it must be poncetastic time . And here it is . I'm so happy .

Seeing as last year our old faithful 25 year old Christmas tree lost a leg and spent the season propped at a drunken angle , I'm in the market for a new one - so am debating whether prelit or fibre optic is better . With a lunatic dog with no spatial awareness in the house , a real one would be bald in a week , so contemplating which one to go for . Fruit goes in this week , spending tomorrow making quince jelly , and debating whether to weave lights into the bauble wreath for the mantelpiece. Decisions decisions.

Various wreaths through the years. One hung like a chandelier.
But my favourite one is the biggest one in two halves that open when one of the double gates open. Each half has its own battery lights on a timer.
it started off as a large willow wreath that I cut in half !

I know that this is a poncetastic Christmas thread, but are any if you doing any autumnal poncing? I've just been scouring the internet for seasonal recipes, making up a batch of thieves oil, collecting conkers and am planning some seasonal decorations for the office, because one of my colleagues is a fellow seasonal poncer.

I don't do any autumnal poncing (although I'd love to) as it's a busy time of year for me.

Back to French Christmasing, there are lots of lovely things to do here. Most towns have Christmas markets, with things like jewellery made from repurposed nesspresso capsules (not my cup of coffee tea), hand crafted donkey milk soaps, or beautifully hand carved wooden toys for example, the smaller the town the more likely the produce is locally made.
My personal favourite is a stall that sells huge pain d'épice that you can buy by the slab. The owner is a lovely former pupil and he usually gives me an extra slice if I remind him of how talkative he was in class 😁 .
There are usually Christmas parades on too, with the streets all decorated with lights and the smell of mulled wine and roasted chestnuts, it's really lovely.
Shops usually start selling Christmas stock after Halloween, but it does seem to be getting earlier each year.
We don't have boxing day here, but everything does close earlier than usual on Christmas eve (the main meal is served on Christmas eve).

However at the moment it is over 30⁰ and I'm starting to get quite annoyed about not being able to do all the autumnal things mentioned on the other thread.

www.mumsnet.com/talk/_chat/4902019-i-want-something-autumnal-but-i-dont-know-what

I'm currently felting a pumpkin for part of my display. I'm also drying out all of the teases in the garden for autumnal ponceness. They were going to be used for a door wreath, but I've changed my mind as they are too prickly. I'm now contemplating a basket arrangement for the hearth.

I've already made chilli jam from the dozens of beef tomatoes we still have growing. It's weird as I was trying to remember the origins of the recipe, but it's been tweaked so much over the past 24 years that it's not the same recipe anyway. I've been collecting conkers every day too and have made an arrangement in the hallway with some warm orange lights. I've now got my eye on one of those vintage glass light bulbs to make the hallway light more 'glowy' for want of a better word.

A couple of poncetastic projects that I have done (need to get some photos of my own versions)

Adent calendar https://www.purlsoho.com/create/2013/11/03/corinnes-thread-advent-calendar/

And this white felt wreath
https://www.purlsoho.com/winter-wreath-kit.html

the kits for both are mega pricey but you can buy a downloadable pattern and get the stuff yourself much cheaper. Both turned out unusually close to the pictures!

Love that wreath @Zitouna! Definitely giving that a bash!

The Christmas tree has been ordered!

I like the idea of all-year-round seasonal poncing, but tbh I have enough trouble finding the time for Christmas poncing! I will be in Germany for a week in late November, just in time for the Christmas markets, so I'm hoping to pick up a few poncetastic items from there (although I won't have much space in my luggage!).

Christmas cake ingredients assembled. Now waiting for DGC and DDs to arrive to make it and stir with the special spoon.

I do do other-season poncing, I have various sets of crochet bunting for the windows (pumpkins now, followed by poppies, Michaelmas Daisies, then Christmas decs - I haven't got any Christmas bunting though, Easter eggs and daisies for summer). I also have autumn and spring wreaths on the front door, neither are home made though. We have an Easter tree (hazel twigs hung with wooden eggs which also get decorated for Christmas with tiny baubles). Other Easter bunting for the fireplace. A front window full of Hallowe'en decs on the day itself.

Also I have an allotment so jam, pickle and chutney making as and when.

I like a bit of seasonal poncing. It makes me happy.

My booze shelf is currently decked out with pumpkins, and leaf fairy lights. I want to try the ghost painting I've seen on Tiktok too, but haven't been into town lately to look in charity shops for paintings/prints to upcycle. Dining table has a runner with pumpkin print, pumpkin s&p pots, and seasonal coloured flowers.

Living room has pumpkin lights, autumnal cushion covers (I really want some rust coloured cable knit covers but haven't found any yet & don't have time to make), and a pot pumpkin my dad bought me.

I'll add in Halloween slowly now we're in October.

Weirldy maybe, I enjoy taking it all down too ready for the next thing to go up 🤷‍♀️

Lovely photo @Trumpton! I've also made the Christmas cake this morning (it's currently in the oven.) Additionally I'm making Christmas puddings for the first time as I had all the ingredients anyway and can't believe how easy they were..... we'll see how they taste!

The puddings are steaming as the cake is baking and the house smells absolutely amazing. I may have put Carols from Kings on as I was mixing everything up 🎄😉.

Photo of the cake mixture before it went into the oven. It's so full of fruit and nuts that it was an arm workout making it 😂.

The photo would help!

I've spent the afternoon getting a bit more organised with the poncing. A blanket to crochet and I want to try sloe gin this year.

Does anyone do a craft advent calendar? I saw this on etsy and thought it might be fun. I was thinking I could print one for me and one for my DD. So I can let her join in without getting control freak perfectionist at her 😂

@TreesandRug I downloaded this Hattifant one last year, but never got round to actually making it. I should do this year, I think, I've dropped all sorts recently so have much more free time.

I've had my village out this evening, checking it doesn't need any repairs & just needs washing then re-shaping again...I'd forgotten I managed to dye it ever so slightly pink last year 🙄 so, before I assemble it I need to work out how to remove the pink! Maybe Milton 🤔