The 2022 Poncetastic Christmas Thread

[VivaJen]

Welcome to the 2022 Poncetastic thread. With a nod to Fellatio (wherever she may be) at the stroke of midnight, let the poncing commence.

"OK, first of all, I know it's still September by we need to start this thread now because as you all know, having a truly Poncetastic Christmas involves precision planning, strategy, bravery, heroics, and frequently martyrdom.

So, if you, like me, actually want to make the next twelve weeks of your life a misery by hand-crafting your cards, finding a huge bucket for Nigella's turkey in brine, pickling pears, shrivelling oranges in a low oven for those rustic au naturel decorations, dragging half a holly bush back from the woods, and just generally being a smug annoying jobs worth ponce, join me on this thread.

Feel free to post photos of previous tree-trimming, cake icing or table centrepiece triumphs, discuss this year's bauble colour themes, debate the merits of Delia versus Gordon, road-test a selection of canapés and cocktails, (all in the line of duty) and link to lovely inspirational photos/craft ideas for a truly Poncetastic Christmas.

Warning: If your idea of a good Christmas involves Pizza, ITV, gravy granules or anything with 'Aunt Bessie’s' on the packet, this is not the thread for you".

@CuriousEats I love those mice!!!

See, now I want tiny cheeseboard mice too! & I'm already mentally working out how to fit all the things into just about a month 🤣

Thanks all <preens whiskers>

@MammaWeasel the hearts are so lovely! Very impressed. Love the embossed lights, such a good idea.

I’ve got a bag of air drying clay which I’m supposed to be digging out (I want to make little hearts for a garland on the staircase) but I’m putting it off because I’m such a perfectionist that contemplating trying something new really stresses me out. I’ve been avoiding it for weeks. 🙄🙄 But seeing your creations is very inspiring! I might go upstairs and fetch the bag today. Any tips or guidance for someone who’s not worked with it before?

Ah! Mama Weasel. That could be me. Deep breath. Channel your inner Voltaire:
The best is the enemy of the good. And off you go....

@Bideshi I think that was for me...you’re so right. I know it rationally but I struggle with it so much.

Deep breath. Will at least get the clay out today.

Oh yeah. It was. Not with it today.
I'm terrible with the perfection thing. I'll either not start or I'll do 7/8th of something because if it's not finished it can't be judged. I am the Empress of Unfinished Projects.

So I made the key lime pie.
Now how to get the base of the tin off the bottom and get pie in freezer in one piece 🤔

Freeze it for a little bit first, on a tray or something, then remove the base once the crust is frozen?

Looks great btw! 😋

@TangledWebofMincemeatDeception Good idea, might be less crumbly.

@Trumpton as the resident paperwhites expert I've got a problem... think they were too warm/light and now one has shot up it's definitely more than 4 inches but the rest of them aren't... what do I do?!

I've had a sudden panic that I should paint the kitchen prior to Christmas?!

Nooo @OrigamiOwls don't do it! Too much stress and hassle. Just add tasteful ponce wherever it’s looking a little tired...works particularly well with the modern Scandi aesthetic!

This! There are 32 days until Christmas!!'

@OrigamiOwls I wouldn't even think about a whole kitchen redecoration at this point! I did clean all my walls the other day though, which has had a surprising brightening effect.

I'm poncing the booze corner, and since I'm doing that, the worktops where I cook & my herbs/spices live. It all looks much better shame there's no cupboard for the worktop of kitchen gadgets to live in and minimal spend/disruption.

And, since I'm aiming for giving it all a bit of a lift, I've bought a new table runner & napkins, and am going to attempt making napkin rings.

Anywho...all that to say, no, don't do it! Ponce with what you have for the moment 🙈

I'm not getting far with my church, I dropped to a 1.25mm hook & it's still slightly too big for the blocking guide. Not sure whether to buy the other village pattern I have saved & try the church from that 🤔. I'm going to risk soaking the rest in a very weak bleach solution & then rinse incredibly well, so I can start blocking and assembling next week.

I wouldn’t worry about the tall one at all. You can put them in a cooler room/ place for a while but just wait for the slower ones to grow a bit. I have been away from home for a week and go back tomorrow so I don’t know what mine are doing!

Few thanks! I will do that then:)

@OrigamiOwls how bad is it? It'll take you a full day or a weekend if you have "help".
Get yourself to B&Q, pick a colour and go for it.
You'll be all finished by Monday at the latest.

The second robin for my friend is in progress; I think I prefer this one to the first but am a tad wary of fiddling with the first to straighten his tail feathers and move his eye 🙄

Ah @lucysmam that’s so lovely!

You might be able to change the other robin by fiddling about with the head instead - add some more head on top to fill out the space between head and back/tail feathers and it may well fix the eye placement too.

(not sure I explained that in a way that makes any sense at all, sorry)

If you don’t want to change the original robin then it’s still a perfectly nice bird too!

Yes, it does make sense @TangledWebofMincemeatDeception and I think it might "fix" him. I'll try tomorrow. It's not hard to sand it back if I need to.

Does work poncing count too? I'm chief story prop person at work (eyfs) & just started drawing out areas on peg dolls so I can slowly make us a nativity set.

@lucysmam work poncing definitely counts!

Well I think the 2 baubles I made have survived (can't take the out of the kiln just yet as it's the community one and I'm not allowed to). Tried to attach a pic but it rarely works from my phone.

Oooh the baubles are really lovely.