The 2022 Poncetastic Christmas Thread

[VivaJen]

Welcome to the 2022 Poncetastic thread. With a nod to Fellatio (wherever she may be) at the stroke of midnight, let the poncing commence.

"OK, first of all, I know it's still September by we need to start this thread now because as you all know, having a truly Poncetastic Christmas involves precision planning, strategy, bravery, heroics, and frequently martyrdom.

So, if you, like me, actually want to make the next twelve weeks of your life a misery by hand-crafting your cards, finding a huge bucket for Nigella's turkey in brine, pickling pears, shrivelling oranges in a low oven for those rustic au naturel decorations, dragging half a holly bush back from the woods, and just generally being a smug annoying jobs worth ponce, join me on this thread.

Feel free to post photos of previous tree-trimming, cake icing or table centrepiece triumphs, discuss this year's bauble colour themes, debate the merits of Delia versus Gordon, road-test a selection of canapés and cocktails, (all in the line of duty) and link to lovely inspirational photos/craft ideas for a truly Poncetastic Christmas.

Warning: If your idea of a good Christmas involves Pizza, ITV, gravy granules or anything with 'Aunt Bessie’s' on the packet, this is not the thread for you".

I'll be back later on to catch up on the thread; in the meantime, until I come back, could I have thoughts on my robin please? My friend wants a couple for her tree but I'm not sure about it...

I love the garlands @MammaWeasel

Love the robin @lucysmam
Might I suggest an eye slightly further forward and a straighter tail ?
but I would be very happy to have that robin bobbin’ on my tree!

Oh the garlands are gorgeous

@HintofVintagePink the garlands are beautiful lit up.

@MammaWeasel I quite like your hearts as they are too. I'd happily have them on my tree.

@Trumpton yes, looking again, I think you're right about his eye needing to be lower. I'm going to try a different one tomorrow that I've seen. I'm not sure if my friend wants them to match or not so will give her the choice once I've done a couple.

Ooh I'm
Loving all this!! Tried to make a mini version of the gift bag tonight but sewing machine went all weird. Think my stitch size too big or something. It was puckering. I'm loving the garlands and the hearts and the robins !

@Livingonjuice sometimes just unthreading and re-threading will fix your issue 🙂

Cheeseboard poncing practice!! The mice are home grown winter radish which are blushed pink on the inside.

Superb!

Oh wow! That's some proper ponceing. Love the mice

Oh wow, the mice are amazing!

And also, for those of you making mulled wind from scratch, may I suggest instead of simmering the spices and lemons then serving immediately, add lots of sliced autumnal fruit such as plums, pears and apples, a couple of sweet oranges and the whole spices, bring to about 70 (before all the alcohol burns off) and turn the heat off. Allow to poach for a couple of hours then strain out. Serve the poached fruit with brandy sauce, cream and a light coloured sponge cake like an apple and almond variety. 👌food of the gods. I had the leftover fruit and brandy sauce on top of my porridge this morning, and I suspect it will be wonderful on top of pancakes tomorrow morning too. The colours look amazing. Brandy sauce recipe attached.

Theyre very easy but they do need the roots to look proper mousy!
You just slice off 2 corners which make the ears, and slice off a few more slivers to give it a pointy shape. I cut some slits and pushed the ears into place, added cloves and that was it!

Mulled wind! Top typo! Is that what you get after eating a whole rich fruit cake?

@MammaWeasel 😂fragrant farts! That is taking ponceuseship to a whole new level. Perhaps we could suggest it to the R&D team at Shreddies.

😂😂😂

@lucysmam I would be happy to hang your Robin on my tree. I agree a straighter tail would look good, but I like this one too.

@HintofVintagePink the church garlands look fantastic. I can see all the garlands in my mind's eye and they look amazing!

@CuriousEats that is a seriously ponced up cheeseboard! I also like your suggestions for the fruit from the mulled wine (or cider in my case)!

I spent this afternoon poncing about sewing the backcloth for our village. The actual sewing was fine, but oh the difficulty of threading the needle!

@Confusedmeanderings you need one of those old fashioned needle threaders, you know, the ones that break after 1 use...
I even found some ponced up ones for you.

I thought that too - I even managed to get one in our little corner shop. But the eye of the needle was so small, I couldn't get the threader through!

Oh, They're pretty! You could hang them on the tree!

Oh my goodness the mice!! Love them. Haven’t read back through the thread yet but those were so cute I had to comment. Would love to make them if I can find the radishes (bright pink mice wouldn’t have quite the desired effect, I don’t think 😄).

@CuriousEats Love the cheeseboard and most of all winter radishes.
<adds to seed list>

That cheeseboard is amazing. I need some white radishes.

If I plant radishes with my Paperwhites will they be ready

@Trumpton 😄I sowed them in July or August I think. You could try them indoors. Especially if you've got a grow lamp or a particularly bright light to put them under. The website does advise they take 55 days to mature so you might be looking at baby mice!
The variety is Watermelon Red Meat Winter Radish. A packet of 600 seeds is a quid from Premier Seeds Direct.