Poncetastic Christmas 2021

[VivaJen]

Welcome to the 2021 Poncetastic thread. With a nod to Fellatio (wherever she is), at the stroke of midnight, let the poncing commence.

OK, first of all, I know it's still September by we need to start this thread now because as you all know, having a truly Poncetastic Christmas involves precision planning, strategy, bravery, heroics, and frequently martyrdom.

So, if you, like me, actually want to make the next twelve weeks of your life a misery by hand-crafting your cards, finding a huge bucket for Nigella's turkey in brine, pickling pears, shrivelling oranges in a low oven for those rustic au naturel decorations, dragging half a holly bush back from the woods, and just generally being a smug annoying jobs worth ponce, join me on this thread.

Feel free to post photos of previous tree-trimming, cake icing or table centrepiece triumphs, discuss this year's bauble colour themes, debate the merits of Delia versus Gordon, road-test a selection of canapés and cocktails, (all in the line of duty) and link to lovely inspirational photos/craft ideas for a truly Poncetastic Christmas.

Warning: If your idea of a good Christmas involves Pizza, ITV, gravy granules or anything with 'Aunt Bessie’s' on the packet, this is not the thread for you".

Checking in, i have grand ambitions to have made all the prarie schooler barnyard Christmas ornaments but as I've been working on one for the last 4 weeks I might have to just choose a couple.
Ready for another year of resisting the felt ornaments kit because they are beautiful

Thanks SevenSwans - I hadn't started looking for recipes yet so I'll put that at the top of my list.

I'm looking for a wreath making course. The company that used to do ones near me aren't running them this year and I'm struggling to find any others.

Forgot to mention earlier, I also have a foam wreath I'd like to crochet over, some jars I'd like to decorate with frosting spray then use them for candles and a cross stitch of horses which (if I can get it done) will be a gift for my MIL.
Oh and a hamper for my dad

Pics attached of the cards completed so far, purely because I like it when people post photos on this thread

I won’t be poncing nearly as much as you all, but I may join and look on in awe

@OnTheHillNotOverIt I have made my first Christmas cake (did that at the start of September) and I'm trying Delia's Creole Cake this year so the fruit is currently soaking and I will bake that on Wednesday or Thursday next week.

Over the years I've put together a Christmas to-do list that I pencil in dates that work for me. In January I took my calendar and looked at the tasks and I put a note when would be best, I usually have some time off work in September and try and get a lot done then.

I might not do everything every year but here it is - hope it helps

• Set Budget & Make Lists Jan
• Set up Planner
• Check Gift Shelf
• Buy Christmas cards in sales
• Buy Christmas gift wrap and ribbon/note what I have
• Book Christmas Train (if going) Feb
• Order Country Living Christmas Fair Tickets Aug
• Book tickets for Christmas Concert
• Plan Christmas crafts
• Order Craft Supplies
• Schedule Appointments July/Aug
• Start to buy wine & beer for party August
• Empty freezer & defrost
• Bake Christmas Cake x 2 end Aug/Sept
• Make Mincemeat
• Make Christmas Puddings
• Make Chutney or Chili Jam
• Christmas Bulbs September
• Make extra food for freezer November
• Organise Christmas catch ups
• Buy Advent Candle
• Buy Advent Calendars September
• Plan Thanksgiving Menu
• Order Thanksgiving turkey
• Plan Christmas Day Menu
• Plan Afternoon Tea with friends
• Plan Boxing Day Menu
• Plan New Year & Hogmanay Menus
• Practice new dishes
• Shop for Christmas clothes & PJs
• Take DNephew to see Santa December
• Make Mince Pies for freezer November
• Make Sausage Rolls for freezer November
• Make J.O Vegan Gravy November
• Order photos/ photo cards
• Order photo albums/calendar
• Buy cracker fillers
• Bake gingerbread men/Christmas cookies
• Check guest room
• Plan Neighbour party
• Order Party Invitations Black Friday
• Order booze for DH work gifts Black Friday
• Order Marzipan Fruits Start Dec
• Buy Christmas Stamps November
• Take DN to Pottery Studio
• Make snow globes

• Forage for wreath materials end Nov/start Dec
• Buy tree 8th Dec
• Buy/make wreath start Dec
• Make garland

• Dry Oranges 15th Dec
• Orange pomanders 15th Dec
• Decorate outside 29th Nov
• Put lights round windows 28th Nov
• Decorate inside 30th Nov
• Buy Christmas stamps 3rd November
• Write cards and update Christmas card list September holiday
• Post cards 3rd December
• Change crockery 28th Nov
• Buy items for Christmas Eve box & fill
• Order cemetery wreaths start Dec
• Deliver cemetery wreaths. around 15th Dec
• Make/buy centerpiece for dining room table 23rd
• Fill crackers 23rd December
• Dress table 23rd December

Sorry about the bad formatting

Checking in! I’m planning to do targeted poncing this year, and get as much as possible of the Christmas present-buying out of the way as early as possible, so I can do a few more things with DD, like baking biscuits and making clove oranges and tree decorations.

This year I plan to put up the decorations and tree a bit earlier than usual. We normally put them all up in a mad rush mid-December, but I’d like to get a lot of them up around the first and then get the tree by about the 7-10th or so. After last year when DD really missed all the usual build up to Christmas, I’d like to do a few more carol concerts/Christmas trips, too, and a bit more Christmas cooking and crafts 👍

I have found my people.

I will follow, but as we are mid-house move, I think this year’s poncing will be low-key with the aim of at least doing our traditional bits and pieces.

Most excited about having an actual mantelpiece to hang our hand stitched needlepoint stockings from, so will focus on that. Woodland-themed poncey fireplace decoration ideas welcomed.

I also binned the tatty fake stair garland, so ready to create some real Swags.

Wooohooo! We are up. I had to stop myself on the prequel thread from asking about wreath classes as I felt it should wait until today- glad to see I am not alone. I've looked online at a couple of YouTube videos and may just try making my own. The online courses seem extortionate given that it's not at a venue etc.

Has anyone a good video or method to follow? We could all try together. I have loads of Holly in the garden but is is really sharp so maybe not the best!

So pleased to see you all. Been here years under various names. Can't wait to see @Trumpton wallpaper theme (it is you who re papers the dining room each year isn't it?). I also used to love following the progress of someone called I think hairspraybabe and her amazing gift hampers of hundreds of jams and chutneys. Are you still here somewhere?

I also seem to have loads of you on Pinterest. Love this wee community- excited to resume! [Fsmile]

@VivaJen

Thank you for sharing your to do list. I’m clearly leaving it too late every year. Will start with cake and pudding then.

Well helllooooo 

Marking my place as I ponce onto the thread.

Thanks for the list @VivaJen.

This years plan includes

1. Baking Delias Creole cake next week and Nigels on stir up Sunday. Might do a pudding, might not.

1. Wreath making. I'm also going to follow a YouTube tutorial and kind of wing it. Where are the best places to forage? I honestly don't think I've ever seen a holly bush locally!

1. Christingle making

1. Continue with the Christmas cross stitch starting tonight.

1. Practice some new recipes. I'm thinking nigellas chilli jam, some nice sausage rolls and something fancy with the Brussels. Hairy bikers maybe.

1. Papier-mâché and cinnamon scented salt dough decorations with the kids. We live on a popular walking route so leave them outside for people to help themselves

1. Paper chains with the kids. Simple but effective and one of our nicest afternoons last year.

1. Might do something poncy with candles, don't know what yet but I'm thinking Nigel will inspire me during the CC read along.

1. The garden needs attention this year. Maybe lights or tea lights in decorated jars to line the path.

10. This might be ridiculously ambitious but I'm thinking of ways to use the kids tiny Christmas jumpers from years gone by. Can never bear to part with them so thought maybe I could make bits of them into decorations, a cushion...blanket maybe? Christmas pouffe? I don't know. Any ideas or links gratefully received!!

Happy poncing everyone and keep the pics coming. Love it.

I want to join in this year! I have bought some mini Christmas cross stitches and put them in a drawer
I started crocheting a snowflake around 5 years ago, would be nice to finish it and make the garland I imagined at the time!
I also have the fabric to make a table runner to match our placemats. That's only a 3 year old project so I'm doing well

I shall be starting my Nigel Slater's The Christmas Chronicles Read Along Thread in mid October, to give people a chance to buy a copy for when the fun begins in November.

I feel the idea has a Pontastic flavour to it, so please keep a beady eye open if it appeals!

Gah, *Poncetastic!

@Dillidilly

I shall be starting my Nigel Slater's The Christmas Chronicles Read Along Thread in mid October, to give people a chance to buy a copy for when the fun begins in November.

I feel the idea has a Pontastic flavour to it, so please keep a beady eye open if it appeals!

I'm really looking forward to this 🎄

@VivaJen me too! I'm hoping some people will be trying his recipes too...I'm not much of a cook, so would love to see how they turn out

I’m going to hop aboard. Baby number 3 is due early October so I might not be poncing as much as you all. I have started a Christmas rug in the shape of Santa. Currently only his feet are done but I will get there!.

Popped into Wilko and couldn't see any paperwhite narcissus but did find triandrus tresamble which look very much the same so do you wise ponceastic people think these would work just as well?

Attached pic 🤞

I have ditched the wreath making workshop this year in favour of a christmas candle making workshop, looking forward to it. Last years workshop was rescheduled a couple of times then I couldn't make the date they ended up doing it so giving it a miss this year. Lovely reading everyones posts 🎄🤶

@NigelSlatersXmasTaters, our opposite neighbour has a massive holly bush. Not sure I've ever seen one elsewhere mind you!

I had somebody make our kids' Christmas clothes into a cushion cover. It's lovely!

Oh, and I ordered my garden lights yesterday, to go with the mini Christmas tree lights I got last year, which run along the edge of the path. They were dispatched today.

A repeat of what I've already written. J thought the other thread was the proper thread! 🤣

I am slowly making my way through last years when the toddler will let me! 😂

So far I have:

• made 3 litres of damson gin. Ageing nicely for Christmas in a dark cupboard.
• have ordered material to sew my own Christmas napkins.
• have ordered some festive yarn to knit everyone a tiny Christmas jumper with their initial on it. Will use instead of gift tags and then they can hang them on their own trees.

I plan to:

• make the Christmas cake according to the gospel of Delia.
• make the marmalade gin off last years thread. I think it was @Trumpton who posted it! It looks amazing! 🤩

Ooh I need to order some Christmas lights. I also need to get stuff for the kids to make their grandparents Christmas gifts

May I ask is this the recipe for Mary's Christmas cake? And also would you mind sharing the recipe for the gin marmalade? Sounds delicious.