Poncetastic Christmas 2021

[VivaJen]

Welcome to the 2021 Poncetastic thread. With a nod to Fellatio (wherever she is), at the stroke of midnight, let the poncing commence.

OK, first of all, I know it's still September by we need to start this thread now because as you all know, having a truly Poncetastic Christmas involves precision planning, strategy, bravery, heroics, and frequently martyrdom.

So, if you, like me, actually want to make the next twelve weeks of your life a misery by hand-crafting your cards, finding a huge bucket for Nigella's turkey in brine, pickling pears, shrivelling oranges in a low oven for those rustic au naturel decorations, dragging half a holly bush back from the woods, and just generally being a smug annoying jobs worth ponce, join me on this thread.

Feel free to post photos of previous tree-trimming, cake icing or table centrepiece triumphs, discuss this year's bauble colour themes, debate the merits of Delia versus Gordon, road-test a selection of canapés and cocktails, (all in the line of duty) and link to lovely inspirational photos/craft ideas for a truly Poncetastic Christmas.

Warning: If your idea of a good Christmas involves Pizza, ITV, gravy granules or anything with 'Aunt Bessie’s' on the packet, this is not the thread for you".

@SevenSwansASwimming I started another thread here about Nigel Slater's beautiful book, The Christmas Chronicles. It's a mix of recipes, photographs and writings about the winter season, and the chapters start from November.

I explained that I had bought a copy each for myself and my daughter and that we had decided to share our experiences by reading along together.
This idea then grew into a read along thread for Mumsnetters!

I'm going to start it in mid October, to give anyone else who is interested a chance to get a copy.

@Trumpton wow! That’s amazing! Definitely that sort of thing I’m aiming for. Fingers crossed it doesn’t wind up looking like a dogs dinner when I get my shovel hands on it 😂🙈

I was fully planning a poncey Christmas in the USA.
But we can after two years visit the UK, so my MIL's m&s oven ready Xmas awaits.
And honestly I am thrilled, DH and dc are tearful with joy.
I love my MIL even though her Xmas is rather dreadful.
Then it is on to my family for a Scottish new year.

I will join Nigel's read along because I particularly adore the Christmas diaries and I need a little poncey Christmas in my life.

candlesonthetable and other nervous gingerbread house builders, here is a great tip.

@catflapkitkat that's hilarious and would definitely please DS!

@didireallysaythat thanks for the website, maybe I could make two small cakes, one for me and one for MIL. The trouble is that I will also eat the chocolate nut cake, so am then having double amounts of cake which my scales will not thank me for! Certainly one to ponder. I think I will see how much left over dried fruit I have after today's mincemeat is prepped.

@Trumpton thank you for the link. That chandelier wreath looks amazing..

@Catflapkitkat always good to have a back up plan

@2018SoFarSoGreat your poor kitty!

@theworldsbiggestcrocodile

I was in the woods yesterday searching for a suitable fallen branch to drag back, dry out, spray paint and attach to My kitchen beams and trim up. My last years one wasn't big enough. I need full impact this year!

This sounds amazing, please can you provide a photo of last year's log?

We've bought our free range turkey this week, it's obviously still running round a farm 10 miles away in the Dorset countryside, totally oblivious...

Fellow knitters! I always post a link to my Snowman wreath pattern on ebay.
Hope you don’t mind me re-posting it this year too.
Off to soak my fruit for my Christmas cake!

www.ebay.co.uk/itm/224574914862?mkevt=1&mkcid=1&mkrid=710-53481-19255-0&campid=5338273189&customid=&toolid=10001&pub=5575378759&icep_ff3=1&ipn=psmain&icep_vectorid=229508&kwid=902099&mtid=824&kw=lg

Can I join?

This will be our first Christmas without renovation work going on & I’m determined to have a poncy decorated house! I had zero decorations for our new kitchen so I’m starting from scratch. I don’t have much of a talent for crafts so I’m expecting lots of fairy lights.

I’m also hosting my first ever Christmas dinner on Christmas Eve for my ILS. Excited & terrified. I’ve seen some printed menus on Etsy - that’s sufficiently poncy right??

Oh & most of my presents have been bought & I’m picking up my wrap today (choosing this year’s wrapping paper is one of my favourite parts of the build up). I’m going for forest green, gold & Kraft with matching twine & bows. Would LOVE to make some fancy gift toppers but not sure where to start.

Joining in this year! I normally just read the thread but I'm determined to do more poncing this year as I've got some projects to finish that have lingered for a few years!

We always do a gingerbread house in December - train last year, maybe train station this year if DS is persuasive enough - and always do a Christmas cake for us, and one each for two relatives, so I'm doing those this week. We always do our own sausage rolls too, so I'm making some traditional ones for DH and DS, and veggie ones for me, then freezing the lot. After freezer jenga, of course.

I've also got felt animal ornaments to finish (from 2018!), cross stitch card ornaments to do (from 2016, don't ask), and this year I'm making a felt pizza and cake for DS's wooden kitchen he'll be getting. We've also collected a bunch of pinecones from the park I'm going to turn into a table centrepiece with some red berry battery lights.

@Catflapkitkat that's genius! I shall keep our dinosaurs on standby.

Joining in this year! I normally just read the thread but I'm determined to do more poncing this year

Me too! I am not generally a fan of early Christmassing, but definitely a fan of poncetasticness . I'm a knitter and crocheter, so looking forward to finding things to make (did someone mention snowflakes?) and I'll have to start anything crafty early because I'm sloooow at making things! Not even sure who we're hosting/visiting and when over the Christmas period yet...

Does anyone use the Team TOMM Christmas plan? I find it really useful as a focus: it inspired me to defrost the freezer this week, ready for the Christmas goodies.

Oh my,
Love the chandelier, the fruitcake recipe for a tin can (do you use a big or small can?), the cross stitch ideas though I am not much of a sewing girl. I was looking at similar large wreaths made from pool noodles on pinterest the other day and was pondering what to use to wrap it, I have a large ball of twine but imagine it would take a LOT. The covered wire stuff looks like a good thing to have in the craft box, thank you for all the sharing. Suddenly I feel the need to whip up a batch of sausage rolls, can't think why lol

PAPERWHITE NARCISSI FOR CHRISTMAS

I ordered my bulbs from Sarah Raven they should be delivered soon. I grow mine on pebbles in hurricane lamps. Generally start them on November 11th .
When the shoots are 3inches high carefully tip water out and replace with watered down gin or vodka SEE HEREThis stunts the greenery so it’s less floppy but leaves the flowers intact .
I’ve been doing them for about 30 years now and only ever had one failure and that was due to cheap bulbs I think.
@Trumpton I couldn't find paperwhites in Wilko yesterday but found Narcissus Triandrus Tresamble instead - do you think they would work just as well? I posted a pic further down the thread and they look so very like paper whites that I just bought them as they were the closest thing. Thought you were the perfect person to ask 😀🤞

Hi everyone. I have been waiting for this thread to start again (And name changed specially so I can share pictures of poncing results)

I think a lot of the wreath workshops are a massive rip off. Last year I was in the pub when one was happening and they didn't even make anything- just paid £55 to tie some decorations onto pre made greenery!

Last year I bought a wicker base from hobby craft and made/foraged stuff for it. Total cost about £6 and it was really easy. Didn't even really need florists wire/tape as you could just weave the stems in. I think it looked alright and the bonus is I can keep reusing it.

So sorry to hear about your cat @2018SoFarSoGreat I hope they are ok and thanks for the warning. I had no idea they were toxic.

I need to order my copy of Nigel slater. I'm quite excited about that!

@noodledoodler

Oh my, Love the chandelier, the fruitcake recipe for a tin can (do you use a big or small can?), the cross stitch ideas though I am not much of a sewing girl. I was looking at similar large wreaths made from pool noodles on pinterest the other day and was pondering what to use to wrap it, I have a large ball of twine but imagine it would take a LOT. The covered wire stuff looks like a good thing to have in the craft box, thank you for all the sharing. Suddenly I feel the need to whip up a batch of sausage rolls, can't think why lol

It's the fuzzy warm nostalgia that makes you want to make sausage rolls (Delia's mother Etty's are the best!) At Christmas I feel the need to pickle things I'd never eat usually, watch 1970s Christmas specials and look longingly at Avon soaps shaped like pipes and streetlamps and other randomness of bygone simpler times.

@AnneOfCleavage
Oh I really don’t know about your narcissus triandus tresamble !
I have been flailing around the internet but can only find reference to Paperwhites for Christmas.
The other types seem to more for outside and spring flowering .
I suppose you could always try them and see but allow a longer grow time. Paperwhites really only need 5-6 weeks .

Placemark

I can't believe I haven't found this thread before!
I LOVE a poncetastic Christmas. I always make my own wreaths but have in last year as had a little baby so bought some ready made ones. Unsure if I will use them again or go back to my hand made ones.
Failed miserably at the little dry orange slices last year 😂 don't think I cooked them for long and low enough so they were still a sticky mess on the inside and burnt around the edges.
Looking forward to getting more ideas from this thread

Would anyone recommend a recipe for gingerbread? I fancy making a house from scratch this year.

@SleighQueen I love that wreath.

I made a cute little gingerbread house last year. Promised myself never again (I had a perfectionist meltdown of epic proportions...)! 😆 😆 I think I used a Mary Berry recipe, IIRC. Or it might have been one out of my Scandinavian Christmas cookbook.

Will post a photo for extra cosiness later!🎄

Yes @doodlejump1980 & @SleighQueen both your wreaths are wonderful!