Poncetastic Christmas 2021

[VivaJen]

Welcome to the 2021 Poncetastic thread. With a nod to Fellatio (wherever she is), at the stroke of midnight, let the poncing commence.

OK, first of all, I know it's still September by we need to start this thread now because as you all know, having a truly Poncetastic Christmas involves precision planning, strategy, bravery, heroics, and frequently martyrdom.

So, if you, like me, actually want to make the next twelve weeks of your life a misery by hand-crafting your cards, finding a huge bucket for Nigella's turkey in brine, pickling pears, shrivelling oranges in a low oven for those rustic au naturel decorations, dragging half a holly bush back from the woods, and just generally being a smug annoying jobs worth ponce, join me on this thread.

Feel free to post photos of previous tree-trimming, cake icing or table centrepiece triumphs, discuss this year's bauble colour themes, debate the merits of Delia versus Gordon, road-test a selection of canapés and cocktails, (all in the line of duty) and link to lovely inspirational photos/craft ideas for a truly Poncetastic Christmas.

Warning: If your idea of a good Christmas involves Pizza, ITV, gravy granules or anything with 'Aunt Bessie’s' on the packet, this is not the thread for you".

@HollyandIvyandAllThingsYule I can definitely relate to the perfectionist meltdown! I might get a kit as well just in case

I am really keen to join the ponce, as much as my 11 month old baby and pre-schooler allowed. I convinced the pre-schooler to help me make potato stamp home made christmas cards, I hope the recipients will appreciate the effort and thought more than the skill.

I have ordered tons of dried fruits in tomorrow’s Ocado and will attempt Delia’s creole cake this year. I am also emptying out our freezer ready for other Christmas bits.

I love the fallen branch idea, if only I had a way to string it up in our kitchen

Have started on my pouncing. Made a trial run of Xmas chutney and some beer and bacon jam. Won't eat either of them myself but DH enjoyed eating the bits that wouldn't go into the jars.

Trumpton
@AnneOfCleavage
Oh I really don’t know about your narcissus triandus tresamble !
I have been flailing around the internet but can only find reference to Paperwhites for Christmas.
The other types seem to more for outside and spring flowering .
I suppose you could always try them and see but allow a longer grow time. Paperwhites really only need 5-6 weeks.

Thank you @Trumpton I will do as you suggest and start them earlier.

@SevenSwansASwimming I love the idea of Christmas Booties

@HoHoJ0 awesome wrapping!

@Trumpton I normally do bowls of hyacinths for a few people but this year you have inspired me to do Paperwhites (when a Sarah Raven brochure popped through the letterbox 2 days ago I took it as a sign). I potted up some for DM last year and the smell was gorgeous but they were huge, so keeping them a bit shorter has swung it for me!

@lazylinguist

Joining in this year! I normally just read the thread but I'm determined to do more poncing this year

Me too! I am not generally a fan of early Christmassing, but definitely a fan of poncetasticness . I'm a knitter and crocheter, so looking forward to finding things to make (did someone mention snowflakes?) and I'll have to start anything crafty early because I'm sloooow at making things! Not even sure who we're hosting/visiting and when over the Christmas period yet...

I'm crocheting snowflakes ❄ So far I've done 6 of each of these using a white twinkle yarn (James C Brett I think 🤔)

They definitely need blocking and then starching but they look very pretty already. The curly cue I crocheted did not good

rather like an enormous tampon!

I should have mentioned that both snowflakes take around 10 minutes to do. Very easy once you're in the swing of it.

I’m in!! A couple of years ago I went crazy on making Hama bead snowflakes. They’re all unique and look beautiful tacked to the wall I might have to make some more this year, but try them stuck to the window.

I'm very excited to join this poncefest. Am totally rubbish at crafts and baking but love to cook and decorate so maybe it's still for me!

Just ordered my copy of Nigel. If you order from Waterstones (rather than the dreaded Amazon) it's free delivery.

@lachy I may have to try those snowflakes. I'm very new to crochet, really a total beginner to be honest but I've found Bella Coco videos very clear and helpful so perhaps I'll give them a go!

Did someone mention a rosemary wreath? We have tons in the garden, a huge bush ( fnar, fnar) so would be good to use it. Think might have a go at making a wreath as also have holly which normally has lots of berries.

I had rosemary in my wedding bouquet (and rose hips; autumn wedding). I could get on board with a rosemary wreath. 🤔🤔

[quote FireworkParrot]@lachy I may have to try those snowflakes. I'm very new to crochet, really a total beginner to be honest but I've found Bella Coco videos very clear and helpful so perhaps I'll give them a go![/quote]
Honestly they are so easy, Bella coco is obviously in English, the other is US terminology but US straightforward enough.

They do need blocking as you can see, but very pretty with the slight shimmer in the yarn.

Thanks @lachy! I've never knitted or crocheted with anything sparkly before

Hubby sent me this yesterday, alternative use of Rosemary and other christmassy scented bits?

Huge rosemary bush in my garden too...

@Candlesonthetable

I am going to properly join this year, after many years of lurking. I have already made damson cheese, and this weekend it's the turn of the mincemeat (delia recipe with some of the currants swapped for cranberries and cherry brandy instead of brandy - hope it's OK!)

Other than that I plan to make:

1. Wreath always with things from our garden. The garden is a disaster all year, but is amazing for wreath making - right down to the moss from the lawn! I make two, one for the door and one as an Advent wreath. *@Thisisbatshit* I like this youtube tutorial - but I never use holly myself, even with gardening gloves it is very prickly!

1. Anna del Conte's chocolate and nut Italian Christmas cake. I would make a fruit cake, but only me and MIL will eat it. Won't be able to make this until nearer the time though.

1. A garland for the stairs, again foraged from the garden. The trouble is that we have horizontal banisters which seems to make it difficult to attach. Two years ago I made a garland to go around our doorway as you come into our house out of birch twigs, juniper and baubles. I am not sure if something similar will be flexible enough to go around the bannisters though.

1. Embroidered Christmas napkins with everyone's initials. I am not a good embroiderer, so we will see how that goes!

1. Stained glass window biscuits after a great thread on them a couple of years ago I want to perfect my technique!

1. Gingerbread House. We usually buy the lidl kit, but I am tempted to make my own this year. I am just worried it will make a nice activity with the children a little stressful! Maybe we will need two!

1. Orange pomanders. We always dry oranges, but I bought an unexpectedly large bag of cloves earlier in the year and am tempted to make proper studded oranges. Possibly also sew some little bags to house the (many) cloves to hang in wardrobes to keep clothes smelling nice.

1. Hand lettered Christmas cards for nearest and dearest. DD is now old enough (and interested enough) to make some of these too.

I will be looking out for more suggestions on this thread, though, and will be joining the Christmas Chronicles read along thread.

I do Anna's braised beef at Christmas (I call it Italian pot roast!) t's delicious. I found the recipe years ago in a Sainsburys magazine.www.foodsmatter.com/freefrom_recipes/recipes/fm_meat/manzo_alla_california05.10.html

I'm not sure if this is appropriate for this thread or not.

Today I purchased two panettone from Wilkos one in a lovely Christmas tin, there's a choice of four designs online (my branch had two in store) I went for the classic red Father Christmas. They're £3.50 in a box or £5 in the tin and smell lovely through the wrapper.

I wanted one to make Delia's Panettone and zabaglione trifle if that helps with the ponce factor.

Anyway, in summary, lovely big tin for an extra £1.50.

@DiamondBright it’s very appropriate! And a great tip! I’m going to pop in to Wilko tomorrow and have a look.👍

[quote HollyandIvyandAllThingsYule]@DiamondBright it’s very appropriate! And a great tip! I’m going to pop in to Wilko tomorrow and have a look.👍[/quote]
It's a 1kg panettone so a nice big tin and it does smell lovely.

I got one in a box (£3.50) just for toasting or making into french toast for an easy breakfast.

@VivaJen thank you for this thread ! I do want to join in ,have recently moved house and nearer to woods so have found a holly bush already!! I'm abs rubbish at most crafts , and baking but as this year it's just me and my 9 year old DD i really am up for trying !! Loving all of your posts so far ,thank you all

Last year’s gingerbread house.

I’ve decided I might make a train next year. DH won’t let me do anything gingerbread construction related this year as I promised I wouldn’t!🤣

A thrifty tip for smaller households is that Morrison's do really lovely plain fruit cakes, I buy the smallest one, I feed it and cover it in marzipan and royal icing just like I would homemade but the cake costs £4 and I'm not left with lots of half packets of ingredients. I guarantee no one would know you hadn't baked it yourself and you still get to spend an afternoon rolling out marzipan etc. while listening to Christmas songs on the radio.

If you're going to use the rest of the fruit in mincemeat or chutney or whatever that's different of course, but the last few years there's just been me and DD and Christmas has been a small affair.

@DiamondBright I agree that’s the much better option when it’s just two of you. We’ve always bought our Christmas cake up until last year because DH was the only one who ate it (I used to dislike anything with dried fruits but have actually found I’m able to eat a little now, but both my daughters still hate it) but now that we live near IL’s quite sizeable family there are enough people to eat it so we made our own last year and will do the same this year.