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Janet & Roy mystery round-robin

407 replies

AndHarry · 19/10/2014 16:56

Are we doing Janet & Roy this year? I haven't spotted a thread yet.

OP posts:
CaffeLatteIceCream · 04/12/2014 21:42

I sent this one last year:

Dear X and X

Season's Greetings!

Well, what a year it's been...although, rather less eventful than the last one you'll no doubt be relieved to hear!

News item number one....Alan and Kylie presented us with some very "nappy" news back in February...the birth of our third grandchild, little Dayzee-Leigh. She is a dear little thing and obviously very bright. Perhaps it's slightly too soon to be sure, but we rather think she might be gifted. She is Alan's daughter, after all! We'll keep you posted on that.

Colin is still living in Tooting with his best friend, Guy. It must be cramped for them both, squashed into that tiny one bedroom flat, but they seem happy enough. No doubt one of them will get a girlfriend at some point and move on, although Colin assures me that they are both confirmed bachelors! They just haven't met Miss Right yet, I always say!

July saw Roy elected chairman of the local Neighbourhood Watch group. Not before time. And what a difference he's already made - our little cul-de-sac has never been so crime free. We did have an uncomfortable incident when Roy had to explain to Constable Patel that he wasn't staring into Mrs Weaver's bedroom with his binoculars - but rather at the youths congregating in the next street. Thankfully, the misunderstanding was soon cleared up and Mrs Weaver now keeps her curtains firmly closed while undressing.

In September, Janet had rather a nasty shock when she discovered via Ancestry.com that her great, great grandmother had been illegitimate, "father unknown". It is never easy to hear something like that about your own kin, but as Roy remarked, it's better than having a family history filled with prostitutes and thieves! Like his.

Big news - Janet has decided to apply for next years Great British Bake Off, which should be a lark. As you know, her baking is the stuff of legend and the opportunity to share her gift with the public, and perhaps educate them a little, is too great to pass up.

Anyway, that's all for now, I think. We are so looking forward to seeing you in the New Year, thank you so much for inviting us. If you'd like me to bring my famous Sherry Trifle again, please do ask.

With much love,
Janet & Roy
xxxxxx

PS: Almost forgot, Roy's mother died in May, but it was not unexpected as she was 97 xx

MrsCosmopilite · 06/12/2014 23:00

I have very recently had a long discussion with my 'victim' about who the hell these people could be. :)

Fantastic!

glidingpig · 07/12/2014 00:53

Bit late maybe but if anyone has a victim in mind I'm happy to write one from South Wales. Grin

badfurday · 07/12/2014 07:31

Oh oh me me!!

FuckYouChristmasAndThatClaus · 07/12/2014 08:21

Cafelatte, I love yours. Beautifully believable :)

Am I too late? Would love to send one as well as have one sent for me :)

I'm in Mid-Wales. It would be brilliant to have a Janet and Roy from Reading, the other ends of Wales or London.

Would it be really evil to request a paragraph saying, "We're going to be in your neck of the woods the first week of January and would love to drop in. Unfortunately Roy managed to kill his mobile phone the same week as my handbag was stolen from under my chair in a local cafe (I didn't think that sort of thing happened around here), which meant that my list of phone numbers and Roy's magical phone's phone book were all lost at once (thank goodness I still had a list of addresses from last year's Christmas cards or I'd feel quite lost!). So if you could please drop us a line to let us know when's best for you, that would be super! Don't worry if you're busy with all those grandchildren, we will be back again I'm sure."

andadietcoke · 07/12/2014 08:31

I'm in London for work on the 16th so could post then - presumably that's not after the last post?

FuckYouChristmasAndThatClaus · 07/12/2014 08:38

I wouldn't have thought so :)

Even if it was, that might be more fitting knowing the people involved.

MrsCosmopilite · 07/12/2014 16:34

Pennies don't forget to update me on what you want and who for :)

xalyssx · 09/12/2014 17:07

No one asked me to write one for them Sad

NickMyLipple · 09/12/2014 19:16

Ah, I need one of these in my life! My DP would be so miffed!! Happy to return the favour, too.... Someone PM me!

mummylin2495 · 09/12/2014 19:42

My brother and his wife have received a very strange letter from people they don't know today ! They are completely confused and it was so hard not to laugh when they told me this afternoon . Dh and I have said it must be someone they met on holiday and have now forgotten.They agree that's who it probably is Xmas Grin

Many thanks to FloatingPorpoise.

Leeds2 · 09/12/2014 19:47

Maybe xalyssx could write one for NickMyLipple?

Are you going to tell him, mummylin?

mummylin2495 · 09/12/2014 20:24

No. Not at the moment, I have been waiting years to play a prank on him and I'm going to savour every moment !! I will leave it a few months then I will reveal all. I have been waiting for him to tell me about the other card he would of recieved in the last few weeks. But he didn't tell me . Today they said they have had one previously and also told me about today's. I wasn't expecting it and could not look at them whilst they were telling me. Nor could I look at my dh ( he knows ) it's hilarious.

InanimateCarbonRod · 10/12/2014 07:58

These are fantastic. If anyone wants one from Dublin PM me. Grin

InanimateCarbonRod · 10/12/2014 20:52

Oops did I kill the thread?! Blush

purplepingu · 12/12/2014 12:54

I've just PMd you InanimateCarbonRod, if you can't send me one can anyone else not near Yorkshire send me one please? I'm happy to send one back in return if anyone wants to PM me!

EElisavetaofJingleBellsornia · 12/12/2014 13:04

Can anyone send one from Lancashire or thereabouts for me? Ideally with the "See you on the 28th" line. Thank you!

TheCunnyFunt · 14/12/2014 21:55

Can someone do my mum one please? I'm in Lincolnshire so anywhere but here'll do! Happy to reciprocate :)

Nativity3 · 14/12/2014 22:32

Would anyone be willing to send one for me?
I know it's a bit late but I'll happily post one for you too! Please Pm me if you can Smile

christmascazza · 14/12/2014 23:45

Anyone still looking for one? I'd be happy to do one from West Sussex.

Nativity3 · 15/12/2014 21:52

Yes please Cazza.

To the person that Dmed me... I can't find the messages you sent and can't remember your username to message you again! Blush

Pennies · 15/12/2014 22:31

Cazza, I've PM'd you. Have printed off yours and am already to post!

SueDunome · 15/12/2014 23:01

I love this, but you all need to change the names. If you google Janet and Roy this thread comes straight up.

christmascazza · 16/12/2014 06:46

Nativity 3 - pm with the details you'd like sending to and a few specifics about the people I'm sending to that I can throw in!

FruVikingessOla · 16/12/2014 10:41

CaffeLatte, I had a good old at yours - not least of which because I used to know a Colin and Guy who lived in Tooting Grin