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Christmas

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Janet & Roy mystery round-robin

407 replies

AndHarry · 19/10/2014 16:56

Are we doing Janet & Roy this year? I haven't spotted a thread yet.

OP posts:
Eastwickwitch · 16/11/2014 20:16

Mines waiting for approval, it's been harder than I thought.

Eastwickwitch · 17/11/2014 15:36

Here's mine

Dearest xxxx
What a wonderful year we've had.

Young Peregrine is still the light of our eyes. He's 18 months now and enormously looking forward to Christmas. Janet will be providing her usual spread of 3 birds in one with the special lemon roast potatoes but I expect she'll do a special meal for Perry, his favourite is slow roasted lamb with a pomegranate molasses glaze. We'd send you the recipe but of course you prefer good old M&S ready done.

We thought from birth that Perry was rather bright (don't all grandparents?) but it turns out he has a gift for languages. His English is 'within the normal range' according to the Health Visitor but his French & Mandarin teachers are very impressed, a little one to one tuition makes all the difference. With his swimming, Tai Kwon Do & French horn lessons he's a very busy boy.

We were delighted to hear that Catherine & William are having another one. With the mix up over the last Christening invitation to young George's do we're expecting to be invited to the next one. We totally understood that the wedding was a state occasion (Rachel's was just the same with Roy's associates from Bentleys) but a baptism should be for close friends and loyal supporters. A trip to John Lewis millinery department will be on the cards.

Sadly we didn't get to Cyprus this year, we took a super cruise around the Balearics instead. Roy took part in Celebrity Cook off with tv chef Marco Pierre White who said he'd never see a croquembouche like it, you know Roy he does like to be different. We were lucky enough to be able to show our dancing skills in the evenings, the other guests were in awe of our Tango and we regularly were invited to do a solo performance with the other dancers standing on the edge of the dance floor in awe. There was a small incident involving a marabou feather boa but luckily the other guests saw the humour and the ship's doctor was on hand.

Janet is still knitting, although not up to the standard of our dear friend xxxx. Her depiction of Stockport in the snow bought tears to Rachel's eyes but rather than let Perry use it she's going to keep it as a family heirloom.

It seems we may soon be film stars. Our lovely neighbour Ken (you would adore his Dublin lilt) has installed a video camera for home security but we haven't be able to resist teasing him a little. Roy pretended to put a key down the side of his Audi and Janet pruned his prize roses back just before the village show. Apparently Ken is going to put the film up on the internet for all to see, he even gave it to the Police for them to have a laugh. We'll soon be able to send you a link.

Wishing you a happy & healthy 2015 (without the need for any more charcoal tablets!)

love from

Janet & Roy

CaulkheadUpNorth · 17/11/2014 15:43

I'd love to write one and send one if anyone wants to receive or have one written?

MrsCosmopilite · 17/11/2014 19:54

Mine was quite long. Janet and Roy assume everyone they send this to (it's a generic letter) know their family. Here's a few snippets:

"I'm sure you'll be as thrilled as we were to hear that Kayla has moved back home, after the Zachary 'debacle'. Joseph is gearing up for his GCSEs and is predicted at least two B's."

"Ptolemy has been abroad on another dig. This time to Hazor in Israel. We understand that he met many interesting people there, including a lovely greek chap called Michael, who he went on to Poland with. Rhiannon tells us that he's barely been home since!"

"Imogen and Henry have moved again, and are currently converting a barn in the Oxfordshire countryside. The project has been quite difficult as the architect discovered bats in one of the other outbuildings, and the lack of connection to the mains sewerage network has been problematic."

HavingAnOffDAy · 17/11/2014 21:35

These are brilliant!!

I'm in the north west, close to Liverpool & Manchester, if anyone wants one sending.

I definitely have nominees in mind

JenniMoo · 17/11/2014 21:40

falgelednl did you find anyone to write for? I'd love one to my dad if not. Happy to do one from Hampshire if it's useful to anyone.

makemineapinot · 17/11/2014 22:08

Here's mine - been approved and is ready to wing it's way from Scotland complete with recipe and a few suggestion - Ebay and caravanning - from the instigator in Canada!
December 2014

To all our dear family and friends.
Well, it's that time of year again, and can you believe it's been 12 whole months since we last shared our annual news with you all?! 2014 certainly has been an eventful year 'chez nous' - we survived the referendum, Roy's retirement and the Commonwealth Games with our usual stoical approach - you may have caught Roy on TV during the referendum campaign - he was even interviewed by a journalist eager for his opinion!
Colin and Morag produced a very healthy sprogette early March, finally making us grandparents! Verity-Jayne is just delightful and is already walking, talking and showing an avid interest in reading! She particularly loves poring over Roy's Daily Mail and is the image of Janet - although she does have Roy's chin! Such a poppet! Morag managed an all natural birth (with us vigilant grandparents sitting in the waiting room with our flask and picnic!) and coped superbly with Colin's expert support and guidance . He really is a hands on father and helps Morag with everything - even the nappy changes! Although we are sure Verity-Jayne will soon be potty trained, she is such a clever girl!
Son and daughter in law #2 are busy house hunting and have seen several rather cute 5 bedroom detached new builds already, although Roy does remind them that older houses have Christmas Tree Windows! Alistair is performing marvellously in his new highly promoted role but has asked us not to brag so I will say no more! He is pleased that last year's 'situation' is long forgotten and he and Moira are forging ahead with their house hunting!
Roy has been very busy this year, as well as his duties of Chairman of the Burns Society and President of the Rotary, he has also been elected as Captain of the Golf Club - they were just waiting for him to retire! So, we are now in even more demand socially as you can imagine and Janet has been busy shopping for a range of formal and informal dresses in local and far flung boutiques - even managing to procure a new DJ for Roy! Sweeping changes will now be able to be made at the GC - starting with the function suite curtains!
The new showpiece Coachman Laser caravan has been turning heads on several outings, and fellow campers at Thurston Manor Leisure Park were positively drooling when Roy drove it slowly around the site on its virgin voyage before parking up! Janet has been busy crocheting cushion covers to give it an even more homely feel and has made Cath Kidston-esque bunting! We are expecting the photographs of our interior will appear on the Camping and Caravanning Club website shortly so look out for them - we are now very valued platinum members!
We have now perfected the 'rustic' camping with only a few altercations with local farmers who seem unable to comprehend public rights of way! In fact, this also included a few security guards when we parked up at Gleaneagles for the Ryder Cup! Janet was roasting partridge and Roy was busy setting up the new luxury picnic dining set when they all appeared with the local constabulary - what a hoot! Good thing Roy was on hand to pass on a few tips to those young European golfers who don't have the benefit of his years of experience - and haven't yet been promoted to captain of their own club!
Janet has been busy exploring the mysterious world of online auctions and has secured many precious artefacts for mere pennies - www.ebay.co.uk for those of you who are interested! Oh how we laughed though when the 'Commodore's Chair' arrived! It had clearly suffered from the seller's poor spelling as it was in fact a commode! Quick thinking Roy however managed to sell it to our elderly neighbour - even turning a quick profit in the process!
Janet has been very busy with the church flower arranging and it has been suggested on numerous occasions that she enter a national competition as her skill with cut blooms is second to none! The prizes from those will soon be joining those she has been busy winning at local and national events with her legendary lemon drizzle cake. Sorry folks, please stop the begging letters, you know the recipe is a closely guarded secret - even Waitrose and Marks and Sparks are desperate to get their hands on it! However, with Moira and Alistair now contemplating vegetarianism, Janet has perfected an outstanding spiced nut loaf and the recipe for that is enclosed - please enjoy and think of us as you bake!
With the new luxury Coachman Laser, we are planning the "Great Janet and Roy UK tour 2015" - a detailed itinerary is currently being meticulously planned in the study, and Douglas has already managed to find us a local company happy to make 'tour t-shirts' as apparently that is the done thing these days! We do hope to catch up with you on our tour sometime next year as we are basing our travels on our 'Christmas Card Address Book' to try and catch as many family and friends as possible!
Have a wonderful Christmas and a very 'merry' Hogmanay (hic)!
Best wishes to you and yours,
Janet and Roy xxx

honeypie10 · 18/11/2014 12:04

Could someone who would like to send one pm me please, i've asked a few people who have been on this board and had no replies.

anywere in the UK, Thanks Smile

badfurday · 18/11/2014 13:20

Ahh yes! I was going to get involved with this last year! I have a few people Id like to do this to, and I am happy to send some for people too.
Is it too early yet?

HattyMonkey · 20/11/2014 13:01

My recipient got theirs today! Priceless reaction " Who the fuck are Janet & Roy". She is convinced she knows them due to the brilliant clues dropped in by the fab Eastwickwitch. She is racking her brains at the desk next to me and is on the phone now with her DH trying to find out who they could be, while I try and keep a straight face and be not too interested.

HattyMonkey · 20/11/2014 13:10

Still in puzzlement but roaring with laughter at it, she is finding ot both funny and puzzling. Particularly loving the Knitting parts.

Chookyeggs · 20/11/2014 13:19

Happy to write one from hertfordshire

Eastwickwitch · 20/11/2014 13:30
Grin
Yoruba · 20/11/2014 14:24

Ha :o

I would love one for either my parents or pil - they are in Somerset and Dorset. I'm happy to write from Surrey.

This is fab!

MrsCosmopilite · 20/11/2014 14:32

Yoruba happy to write one for you. PM me if you want me to.

badfurday · 20/11/2014 15:50

Would love one for my mum and step dad!! I can see the phone call from her now! Priceless!!

liquidstatehasrisenagain · 20/11/2014 18:29

Would love to get a letter sent to my parents in Cromer, in return I can do a letter from rural Berkshire (actually Middleton territory if there any royalist recipients out there - truly did see George a few weeks back...).

My parents are as mad as a box of frogs so it can be as loopy as you like Grin

Are we sending christmas cards with them or just a letter?

seagull70 · 20/11/2014 19:15

I have letter ready to go so pm me if like me to send one x

SnapeChat · 20/11/2014 19:34

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

seagull70 · 20/11/2014 19:50

Hi snape, sorry - thought I had replied Smile

I'm ready to go so can you send me the contact details (names and address)

I can send this out this week or can wait until a little near christmas if you prefer?

MrsCosmopilite · 20/11/2014 20:01

honey did you get my pm?

I'm still happy to write a couple if anyone needs/wants.

JenniMoo · 21/11/2014 05:57

I'd love one for my practical joker dad.

NotOnASchoolNight99 · 21/11/2014 06:07

Liquid, I've sent you a pm

Gramgram · 22/11/2014 00:14

Please could someone send one to my BIL. Every week we get an email round robin letter about people we don't know, so he's bound to add Janet and Roy's activities one week. As he knows lots of people they all get copied in! As he knows family living in Hants, Scotland, Yorkshire and London its best if its not sent from those areas just in case he gets suspicious.

I'm happy to send one from Hampshire to someone too.

Fantail · 22/11/2014 04:05

Anyone want one from New Zealand - perhaps from Trevor and Raewyn or Bruce and Sharon?