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Christmas

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Janet & Roy mystery round-robin

407 replies

AndHarry · 19/10/2014 16:56

Are we doing Janet & Roy this year? I haven't spotted a thread yet.

OP posts:
Xmas2014SantaB5473 · 20/12/2014 20:57

Here is mine...

SEASONAL GREETINGS AND JOY FROM US TO YOU
What a year this has been! Had we but known at this time last year just what we had coming our way, I am not sure we could have coped with the anticipation!
January
Well, of course, the highlight of the month (and possibly of the year) was the safe arrival of Herbert Ezekial who weighed in at a healthy 8lb 6oz. Betsy healed quickly and Jonty took his two weeks off work to help bond as a perfect little family. After a babymoon of a week, we were welcome to visit and off we set bearing gifts and a freezerfull of healthy, home-cooked meals so that Betsy could continue to give all her attention to ensuring Herbie got the best start in life. He took quickly to the breast which was probably helped by Betsy babywearing him round the clock. He is such a little darling and we are hoping to be able to babysit once he turns one and Betsy feels happy leaving him for half an hour or so.
February
Looking back, we’re not sure how we survived February although the trip to Bruges probably helped. After much planning over the past year, the paperwork reached approval and the building contractors were finally able to make a start on the small extension at the rear of the house. (More of that later…) Bruges, as ever, was lovely, although Roy partook of a touch too many chocolates, which meant he saw rather more of the inside of the lavatory on the boat home. Still, Janet made so many new friends on the crossing so silver lining after all! Actually, thinking about it, that was rather a rough journey for Roy as the drive home seemed interminable, what with the SATNAV getting confused and sending us on an extended detour; however, we highly recommend The Drax Arms in Bere Regis which was a welcome find before turning round and heading in the right direction. We finally arrived home at 11.30pm (Roy had to make several more unscheduled comfort breaks along the way) and it was with a sigh of relief that we made it to our own bed.
March
March saw the extension really start to take shape although the Portaloo in the front garden took some getting used to. Still, Janet couldn’t be doing with the builders traipsing mud and dust through the main house. Roy found it easiest to escape to the office as much as possible! Gaining an extra 52.34m2 has been such a bonus (not sure how we ever fitted the three children in, to be honest!) and we look forward to the weekends when all the grandchildren come over to enjoy the playroom. Roy likes to escape to his home office when this happens but Janet is in her element and especially loves it when Albie and Francesca arrive at the same time as Bradley and Bailey. Frannie is likely to become even more of a princess now that she has 4 boys to contend with. We look forward to the day when Herbie can also come and join in the fun.
April
This was rather a quiet month. Janet gained another certificate for her Victoria Sponge (not that this should be a surprise, what with this being the 6th year in a row she has won the Easter Bake Off) and Roy gained a nomination for Vice President at the Bowling Club – losing out by just 7 votes at the end of the month.
May
We saw many of you in May for Roy’s 60th – sorry if you were unable to make it but we had a splendid bash and were so relieved that the garden had been tidied up in time. Being honest, we had not done all the work ourselves but had got people in who brought the lawn back to life after the damage done by the builders earlier in the year. The marquee turned out to be a rousing success and we are glad we opted for the 90ft which meant there was still plenty of garden to enjoy whilst being ample for the 300 close family and friends who came along to celebrate with us. Of course, had the chicken not been undercooked, it would have been a greater success but I think most guests recovered before the end of the weekend. The claim is dragging on for our compensation and, should you be after an outside catering company, we don’t recommend Marby Gourmet!
June
What proud grandparents we were in June as the children shared their school reports. Albie and Francesca finished Key Stage 1 (infants in old money!) with excellent results in their SATs. Mrs Oldsworth, who has been their teacher for the past 3 years, wrote lovely comments which were such a pleasure to read. Bailey has also seen educational success this year. Not that we say anything to Henny but we think it was the right decision to finally agree to the medication. It makes for a much easier child! Bradley continues to do well.
All four of them continue with their tennis and seem to enjoy it. Barty coaches all of them each weekend (including Sunday mornings before church) and they all did well in the East Binkley (and Glowby) tennis show in June.
July
More proud moments when Janet was able to attend the school play to see Frannie on stage again. She made a marvellous Matilda and her voice projection was excellent. Even without a microphone, she could be heard clearly at the back of the room and she does enunciate so well. It was such a good decision to cast her in the leading role and Barty so enjoyed directing the school play – although probably for the final time now that his own children have left the school.

July also saw us heading off to St Kitts once again – we do so love it there and it is lovely to escape the hustle and bustle that is semi-rural east Hampshire. As always, we stayed at in our usual bungalow at Sugar Bay. It hasn’t really changed in the 8 years we have been going there but that is one of the things we so like about it. We know exactly what we are getting and the prices are so reasonable.
August
We had more work done in the garden as, even with the renovations for Roy’s 60th back in May, the grass had never really recovered after the builders. With her usual skill and eye for detail, Janet oversaw the garden’s rejuvenation. The turf took some time to bed in which meant the grandchildren had to be kept off; we will fix ‘Bailey’s Bald Patch’ (as we now affectionately call the strip down the left side) next summer once he has saved up enough pocket money to pay for the new turf.
Janet is especially proud of her raised flowerbeds and pleased she insisted on including them in the plan despite the fact that it meant an added expense as the fence then needed to be replaced in order to support the additional weight. Still, we do so enjoy admiring the finished result (and have not included ‘Bailey’s Bald Patch’ in the accompanying photograph).
September
The arrival of the autumn saw Frannie and Albie starting at St Jude’s which seemed like quite a step up from their small infant school. Catching the bus each day was quite an adventure to begin with, although this is something they now do with ease. Living so far out of town is a lifestyle choice, with the additional driving it necessitates, that they are going to have to accept once the children start joining in with extra-curricular activities. Still, we do harbour private hopes that they might move closer to town and then we could see more of the children.
Roy progressed to the semi-finals in the Western District Bowls league this month and treated himself to a new pair of shoes, saying he would splash out on a new ball (he had his eye on a smart speckled green one) if he reached the finals. Sadly, it was not to be. Still, he does enjoy the camaraderie.
October
With the weather changing in this part of the world, we felt the need for a bit of autumn sun so took ourselves off to Bologna for a week. Without resource to a car, we found this a delightfully flat area of Italy that was perfect for exploring on foot. It is a marvellous city, very medieval and highly recommended as it is not at all touristy which made it all the more pleasant. We were really taken with Italy and plan on going back again. It might become a regular destination, so friendly did we find the people and the food, of course, was excellent everywhere we went. Upon our return, Janet started researching language lessons and is already doing really well with her Rosetta Stone course. The house goes quiet for an hour each evening as she plugs in her headphones and converses with the computer.
November
Another quiet month although it did see the redecoration of the guest bedrooms. It was a difficult decision when selecting the colour schemes and Janet enjoyed many hours creating mood boards whilst Roy spent time researching prices online in the home office. We are very pleased with the finished rooms and do hope that you might find the time to visit next year to see them for yourselves.
December
Which brings us right up to date. We have had some lovely experiences over the past 12 months and it really has been quite a year. As usual, we will be doing our annual tour in the week between Christmas and New Year and hope to pop in and catch up sometime during that week. If there is a time that suits you best, do ring and let us know, otherwise we will simply try our luck and hope to catch you in. Janet will be bringing her Victoria Sponges which we know always go down well.
Love to all,
Janet and Roy

CornChips · 20/12/2014 21:06

[happy sigh]

Grin

Glorious, Xmas. I swear that if I sent that to my mother she would never actually realise it was a pisstake.

Xmas2014SantaB5473 · 20/12/2014 21:14

If anyone wants a last minute one, I am happy to post copies of mine - there are photographs in the real one! It should arrive AROUND Christmas - Janet and Roy are always slightly disorganised at this time of year!

BB01 · 21/12/2014 22:01

Xmas2014 Santa - is your offer still open?! Have only just found out about this and would LOVE for DH to get one!!!

spababe · 22/12/2014 10:32

drat I forgot about the postmark and posted locally as wanted to catch the last posting dates. Hope the postmark is smudged

Very interested to hear of conversations about the letters with 'victims' - hilarious!

CornChips · 23/12/2014 06:50

Hah! I FINALLY got a response from the Janet and Roy I sent to my parents. I knew they would twig it was me. DFather wrote me a long chatty e-mail (almost daily occurrence as they live abroad) and included the paragraph;

'' We picked up a few last minute things and some goodies just to have on hand if anyone calls in. It was just as well because Janet and Roy from way back sent us a lovely card with an Airedale picture and said they will drop in on the 4th of January as they are in the area. All nice of course not that I have met either of them that I can remember. [DMum] vaguely recalls Janet from her hospital days but said they weren't really close but does remember handing out a general "call in if you are in the neighbourhood" type of blanket invitation to all and sundry out of politeness which she is obviously taking up. She thinks Janet always referred to Roy as "the in-bred bastard father of my imbecile offspring" so it will be interesting to meet him after all this time. She thought Janet had actually kicked him out when he went thru a fairly chronic cross dressing phase but I suppose that is behind them now and there has been a reconciliation of sorts. It could be a fun morning tea - we will let you know how it goes. ''

CornChips · 23/12/2014 06:51

Next year they are going to get a version that has Janet and Roy recall with fondness their mutual swinging days.

MoJangled · 23/12/2014 22:11

At last! AT LAST!!!

Cornchips, your letter has landed. I was starting to doubt it had reached my DPs. I'd hinted. I'd talked about my cousin's round robin. I'd asked if DF had done his. I'd wondered if I should start doing one. Nada. And finally, today, DM suddenly told me all about these people who are going to look in on them on the 3rd, but they're going to be unavoidably out and cant get hold of them because there's no return address, and they cant remember meeting these people but they sound lovely, and DM's going to call her cousin tomorrow to ask what her son's partner's called in case it's them. DH and I have been in spasms. But I'll have to come clean tomorrow! Grin

CornChips · 23/12/2014 22:20

It has taken 23 DAYS to reach your DParents and MY Dparents!!!!! I sent them on 1st December. Mine got them today as well. Honestly, that is just ridiculously slow. I was starting to think my parents were playing a long game as there was no acknowledgment at all!

I am SO glad it arrived!

CornChips · 23/12/2014 22:22

Your DM thinks Janet and Roy sound lovely? I will have to try harder next year!

I am very keen on the grumpy sod Janet who runs a bookclub up thread.... Grin

AndHarry · 23/12/2014 23:02

I'm laughing at these recipient stories, keep them coming!

OP posts:
MerryMo · 23/12/2014 23:30

Loving these letters and the responses!

MoJangled · 24/12/2014 07:38

Corn I think it might have arrived last week but its taken this long for DM to mention it - I need to work harder at hinting! Will be back with the reaction to the Big Reveal Grin

CornChips · 24/12/2014 07:47

I can't wait!!!! I suspect my DP's are planning to do a spoof afternoon tea with a cross dressing Roy..... that would be very typical for my Ddad. :)

ICanTotallyDance · 26/12/2014 20:25

After seeing all the messages about how long they took to arrive, I am now wondering if mine has arrived at all! I posted from New Zealand on the fifth.

BB01 · 27/12/2014 16:44

Xmas2014 Santa, DH is completely bemused about the origins of the his Janet and Roy!!! He thinks it's some crazy friends of his parents Grin LOVE the pics esp the feeding baby Grin

mummylin2495 · 27/12/2014 22:33

My brother and his wife have received photos now from their "Janet & Roy"
The photos are of a square of their new carpet. A pic of a family criminal in prison and a spider which may or may not of been squashed. I nearly gave it away last night as they were at my house as was my dd, somehow it came up about the " weird" posts and my sis in law said to my dd "oh I've got them in my bag " and promptly passed them to my dd ( is on on the secret ) she was laughing at the content But I could not look at dd or my brother and his wife. I felt tears come to my eyes and had to leave the room. They are puzzled and worried someone is going to arrive to stay ! it's hilarious. My Janet and Roy poster has sent them three now.

CornChips · 28/12/2014 08:21

Next year I am SO going to send photos. Billiant idea.

My Dfather is upping the ante. My DMum was supposed to go away next week to see her family. DDad just wrote in an e-mail;

'' [Dmum] was planning to go to XXX on Monday for a few days as you know but is calling [Aunt} as we speak to postpone the exercise. Good. It was all getting a bit fiddly so she realised it would be best to reschedule. All for the best really as who knows if Janet and Roy will want to stay overnight anyway? ''

MoJangled · 28/12/2014 18:01

Cornchips your DDad sounds brilliant!

My DM took a swipe at me when I finally confessed... Grin

CornChips · 29/12/2014 16:20
Grin

I am fully expecting a spoof photo of a cross dressing neighbour to wend its way to me next week.

christmascazza · 30/12/2014 07:09

Pennies sent one to my mum and dad and it's been hilarious!

They spent days and days trying to remember who these people were and scoured their whole address books, going back years. Eventually they googled and realised it was a spoof but still can't work out who sent it!

IT GETS FUNNIER though......They then got round to thinking it was my sister and they posted her back a reply (very whitty response to things Janet & Roy had talked about in their letter) which really freaked her out as she obviously had no idea what it was all about.

They now think it's someone in the extended family so have posted an open response on Facebook (which makes them look a bit like nutters!). I'm seriously thinking of setting up a spoof Janet and Roy Facebook page and friend requesting them!

They have no idea it's me! Been so tempted to let on but I think there's still mileage to be had!

Oodbrain · 30/12/2014 08:42

Oh please do the FB page!

MerryMo · 30/12/2014 10:05

Ha ha ha ha - Christmas Cazza. Oh yes. Please do the FB page!!

MrsGeorgeMichael · 30/12/2014 10:26

a FB page would be fab!

mummylin2495 · 30/12/2014 13:09

How long is everyone going to wait until they confess ? I don't want to do it just yet as it's so much fun and it has to be carried on a while whilst my brother and his wife are thinking someone will turn up ( with 4 big dogs ) in the new year !